


Nothing Without You

by greenlotusqueen



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Original Character(s), POV Alternating, Past Character Death, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Violence, rated for later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2018-10-04 07:43:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 120,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10271693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenlotusqueen/pseuds/greenlotusqueen
Summary: Tauriel is in her last semester at Blue Mountain University before she goes off to graduate school to become a lawyer. When she finally decides to talk to the quiet boy she sits next to in class, she finds herself intrigued by his silver tongue.Kili is a business major at BMU who only wants to peruse his love of art, but his uncle wont let him. When the girl he's been admiring from afar asks for his help, he finds out that she is more than just a pretty face.Fili works for his uncle at Erebor Gold and Jewelry, working his way up to be the next successor while simultaneously taking care of his younger brother. When he discovers he has a connection with the barista at the coffee shop he frequents, he finds that he needs her just as much as she need him.Everyone has a secret though, and when an old threat comes back with a vengeance, no one is safe.





	1. The Poem - Tauriel

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to Sno_WhiteQueen for encouraging me to finally post my very first fic! This fic has altering POV's for each chapter which will be mentioned in the chapter name. Ratings and tags are subject to change. Other than that, enjoy!

As Tauriel walked through the narrow doorway out of the noisy hall, she tried to clear the fogginess that plagued her mind thanks to the start of a new week. The small lecture hall was quickly filling with other students trying desperately to keep their eyes open after all-nighters from studying and partying as if they had forgotten that class was something they should rest for. This creative writing class was not one that she would normally take, but she still needed to pass one English course to graduate on time and this was the only one available during registration that she was even remotely interested in taking. 

She quickly noticed professor Elrond was sitting at his desk, sifting through papers as he waited patiently for all his students to sit down so he could begin his two-hour lecture, so she figured it'd be best not to dawdle any longer. Maneuvering her way around the other students and up the steps of the lecture hall, she sat herself down in the same unassigned seat that she always found herself in, one just slightly off from the center of the room so she wasn’t hiding in the back or front and center. She settled down next to a boy who always got there before her and was currently doodling in his notebook where sketches and designs of various warriors and weapons were scattered across the page. Kili Eriador, she recalled was his name. Unique enough, though not many people seemed to remember it. His black hair was pretty long, not too long for her tastes at least, and he often had half of it tied back in a chaotic bun with just enough left down to cover his big ears. The beard on his face could hardly be called an actual beard, but rather well-trimmed stubble. He wore the same gray hoodie almost every day, but judging by the fact that it didn’t give off any offensive odors, he obviously washed it often enough. His eyes were… actually, she couldn’t remember what color his eyes were at the moment and couldn’t look without being transparent, but she remembered that she liked them and the way they squinted when he smiled, which wasn’t that often.

Tauriel remembered how even on the first day that she saw him in class months back, she thought him to be attractive and surprisingly quiet, at least around her. He wasn’t a textbook loner; she’d seen him with his friends on campus and at bars before, but he was certainly more… selective with who he wanted to spend his time with. Whenever she saw him with his friends on the quad, he was loud and energetic, almost to the point of being obnoxious, but in class or with anyone else, he barely spoke up.

She couldn’t recall if he was a junior or a sophomore. There was no way he was a freshman or a senior in her graduating class, but she knew he was a business major based on the other books that he dragged around with him. She had seen them spill out of his bag one day when he was pulling out some other work, but most of the time his things were tucked neatly away under a desk or table; pretty much anywhere out of sight. Oddly enough, every time she saw him in class or by himself he would be sketching on any piece of paper he could find like he was right now. She couldn’t fathom why he wasn’t majoring in art, but then again it wasn’t her place to judge.

She didn’t understand why none of her friends particularly liked him, if they remembered who he was at all. It wasn't like he was a social pariah or anything, rather he just went unnoticed by most people and no one knew what to think of him. In fact, she’d be surprised if half of the class even knew he was in this class. _She_ knew who he was though; he'd caught her attention on day one. Maybe it was because they sat next to each other or maybe it was because she liked his art. Whatever reason there was for why he had piqued her interest, it still wasn’t enough for her to actually say “Hello” to him, a fact that was more confusing to her than anything. Tauriel had never considered herself to be shy — far from it in fact — but she couldn’t think of a reason that she wouldn’t introduce herself. As far as she could tell, Kili was kind, polite, fun, and someone that people would be comfortable being around; so what was holding her back? Even now as she sat down and watched him sketch away, she felt this pull towards him and yet she was stopping herself from speaking up. She didn’t realize that she was staring at him until he had looked back and winked at her. Unwilling to show any embarrassment, she calmly turned, unfazed, towards the front of the class as Professor Elrond was, at last, calling attention to class. At least now she knew his eyes were brown.

“Good afternoon everyone,” he began. “I trust you all have been busy with your studies over the weekend?” Some of the class nodded, but everyone remained silent. “I do hope that you at least remembered that you have your personification assignments due before spring break. Some of you have shown promising work, while others…” for a moment his eyes meet Tauriel’s before moving on, “still require some improvement.” She did her best to try and suppress any color from showing up on her face and hoped that no one else had noticed the silent exchange. She wasn’t by any means failing the class, but she could be doing much better and her family certainly wouldn’t be pleased with her grade right now if they knew. She wasn’t exactly raised in a creative environment and flowery language just didn’t come that easily to her.

“So today,” Professor Elrond continued, “we will be looking at an example of work that I expect from all of you when you submit your writing assignment. Be mindful that I do not want you to base your work around this piece or it’s writing style; it doesn’t even have to be a poem. Rather I want you to evaluate the use of metaphor, the parallelism between the objects, and the overall emotions conveyed through the writing.” He then turned on the projector and a few paragraphs of writing flashed onto the white screen hanging from the ceiling.

“Return to Me…” Tauriel whispered the title to herself aloud. Oh no. Was this going to be a cheesy love poem?

“The white light of forever filled the air,” Professor Elrond began reading to the class, “but ‘twas cold and distant as it wept for the fire moon”. Quickly reading the rest of the poem, Tauriel felt a strange ache inside of her, something familiar yet distant and very odd. The poem told the story of the fire moon and a star, how the star cried when the fire moon changed back to a normal moon. She didn’t get it at all but at the same time, she felt like she should. She normally hated love poems, especially tragic ones, but for some reason, this poem had pulled a different reaction out of her.

“Now,” Elrond scanned the room, considering the proper prey to call upon. “Who can tell me what the stars and the moon represent?” 

A boy in the back, Lindir, raised his hand. “Day and night? The poem speaks of a singular star and sun is a star, so is the sun saddened when the moon disappears?”

“Interesting observation, but incorrect in this case. If you note in the first line, the author refers to the light as white. The sun’s light is often referred to as gold or yellow, so we can assume that it is a normal star one see’s at night,” Elrond explained. “Bofur, what do you think?”

“The moon is a man and the star is a woman.”

“Excellent! What else can you determine?”

“Well,” Bofur cleared his throat. “A fire moon could be a reference to a red moon. Perhaps the star fell in love with a fire moon who she only knew for a short time, because fire moons only last one night. The fire moon could also be used to emphasize the passion they shared for each other.”

“Very good! Now if we continue with the metaphor of the star and moon being people, can anyone figure out why the man disappeared?”

“A red moon is also known as a blood moon, so maybe he could he have been killed?” a young man with rusty hair suggested. “Like Bofur said, a blood moon only last one night. Maybe it’s symbolic of the time they had together. Then the woman would have wept because she was left behind.”

“Indeed, Ori. To put this poem into the most basic translation, a man and a woman fall in love, but their love for each other is cut short when the man is killed in battle and the woman is forced to live the rest of her life without him. This is a tragic poem told through the personification of lunar cycles.”

Tauriel had become so engrossed in the story that she hadn’t been writing the notes she had promised she would this morning. What was happening to her? This poem struck her, igniting something inside that felt so intimate and personal as if she had experienced it herself. But why? She’d never lost a significant other before, not like this at least, nor had she ever been in a relationship where she felt such an intense love. She couldn’t help that it nearly brought her to tears, and they would have fallen had someone not tapped her on the shoulder and snapped her out of her trance.

“Hey,” Kili whispered to her. “Do you have an extra pencil I could maybe borrow?” Tauriel quickly nodded and tried to blink away the tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

‘Keep it together,’ she thought to herself. ‘What’s the matter with you?’ She reached into her bag to pull out a brand new pencil and handed it to Kili without a word.

“Thanks,” he winked at her again with a smile before returning to his work. Still confused by her response, Tauriel slipped willingly back into her own mind, unable force herself to pay attention to the rest of the lesson completely. She wanted to listen, learn who the author was, try to look deeper into the meaning between the lines of the poem, but her mind was completely out of focus. She was too shocked by the fact that this poem had made her feel something about love when she had never even been in a serious or emotional relationship before, at least not passionate enough for these feelings. She looked away from the poem, gazing out the window of the classroom, her brow furrowed in confusion. Had Arwen put something in her coffee this morning or something? Could she possibly be getting sick? What the hell could be bringing this on? Her eyes continued to drift around the room only to fall upon Kili and his sketches again. She listened to the light, rhythmic scratches of the pencil she had given him dancing across his notebook, and she could have sworn she could see his old pencil hidden behind his notebook, broken in half.


	2. A Favor - Kili

The sun felt warm on the back of Kili’s neck as he sat on a bench in the quad outside of the English building. It was a nice day and a lot of the students who didn’t have class right now were outside throwing a football or relaxing in the sun with their friends. While normally Kili would be running off to find Gimli or Ori to hang out with them, he just wasn’t in the mood after that class. He was quickly sketching the people who were walking by as he tried to keep himself from getting too angry.

Kili had always liked his writing class, but today had been a different story. He just couldn’t focus at all, not that he really needs to. Professor Elrond liked him and he was doing so well in that class, he could probably skip the final and still pass. He didn’t even need this class to graduate. This was his leisure class that he was able to convince Thorin that he should be allowed to take once a year. With all the business and economic courses his uncle was making him take, Kili was going to go mad if he didn’t get a break somewhere in the year. Somehow he was able to get Thorin to agree that he could take a few art courses if he took extra classes over the summer to make up for it. Art was something that always calmed him down, and today was no exception.

He flipped open his sketchbook to a clean page and began to draw again with the pencil that Tauriel had given him and her embarrassed expression from earlier flash in his mind. Ever since the first time he saw her bright red hair rush past him on the way to class last semester he had been attracted to her; but then again, it was hard not to be since he was fairly certain that every single student on campus found her to be a breathtaking as well. She was like a magnet or a small warm fire that everyone wanted to be around. It almost felt like a blessing that she sat next to him in class now, but despite their proximity, everything he knew about her he had heard from other people talking about her. She was a senior planning to go to law school, although he didn’t know where, and she was athletic, always jogging around the campus by herself since no one else can really keep up with her. Even though she gets along with just about everyone she meets, she doesn’t hang out with large groups of people, which might be why people flock to her, almost as if it’s a club they get to join if they’re her friend. He also knew that her friend (boyfriend maybe?) Legolas graduated with his brother Fili when they went to college here a couple years ago.

The one thing he didn’t need to hear from everyone to know it was true was that she was absolutely gorgeous. It almost felt like he was committing a crime stealing glances of her in class when she wasn’t paying attention, and the winks he gave her today when she looked back at him were grand theft. She had been on his mind so much the past few days, he was barely shocked to find that for the last five minutes her portrait was what showed up in his sketchbook. He wasn’t sure if he actually had legitimate feelings for her, but there was something there, right? Why else would he be so excited whenever she sat next to him? And when she looked at him today at the beginning of class, it was impossible for him to let her know she was staring without savoring a few extra moments for himself. It wasn't just her appearance either; she was kind, selfless, determined…

“Excuse me.” A voice from behind Kili makes him jump, causing him to slam his book from the shock. He was quickly happy that he’d done so too because as if the gods of embarrassment had somehow fixated their sights on him today, the voice belonged to Tauriel.

It took him a moment to regain his composure. The sunlight was shimmering off her hair like soft embers and even though it was tied up, the length of it was forward and rolling over her shoulder like magma. Her eyes were a forest with striking, almost unnatural patterns of green and brown; it’d be easy to get lost in those woods. She wore a black leather jacket over a dark blue shirt that made her skin look fair and bright, almost angelic. He couldn’t believe how beautiful she was.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you,” she apologized quickly. “You’re Kili right?”

He chuckled as he set his book aside, trying to keep his best smile on. “Yes I am, and you’re Tauriel.” She nodded in reply and opened her mouth to speak, but Kili quickly interrupted her. “Oh! Here’s your pencil back,” he smiled as he pulled it out from between the pages of his book. “Thanks again for letting me borrow it.”

“Oh! Thank you.” She took it back in surprise and put it in one of the pockets on her bag, but made no motion to leave and the two of them sat in silence that would soon turn awkward if one of them didn’t speak up soon. Why was she just standing there? What other reason could she have for talking to him if not to get her pencil back?

“Um, I wanted to ask you…” she paused for a moment after breaking the tension, as if she were debating between finishing her thought and turning away. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“That was your poem in class today, wasn’t it?”

Kili’s heart plummeted into his stomach, but he wouldn’t let his expression betray him. “What makes you say that?” 

“When I came into class before, I saw you already sketching in your notebook. After you asked me for my pencil, I noticed you had snapped yours in half. I know I don’t know much about you, but as far as I know for an artist to break one of his tools, especially one he is currently using, something must have been pretty upsetting.”

“Ah dammit,” he quietly cursed as he put his face in his hand. She actually figured it out. How embarrassing. 

She carefully moved around the bench to sit next to him. “It was really good!” she promised enthusiastically, trying to soothe his humiliation. “Beautiful actually. I liked it a lot.”

Kili wasn’t sure if he should be happy, sad, or mortified that she liked his poem so much. He gave a light chuckle before turning to her again. “Thank you I guess, but no one else was supposed to hear it actually.”

“What do you mean?”

“Professor Elrond read that without permission from me.”

“What?” she gasped. “I can’t believe he would do that! He had no right!”

“S’alright I guess. What’s done is done. He didn’t say who it was written by or that it even belonged to anyone in the class so no one could figure out it was me, save for one extremely observant red-head,” he said, nudging her. His stomach became a knot when he heard her laugh and found himself surprised by his sudden boldness. For the last two months he couldn’t muster up the courage to even greet her in class, and now he was joking with her like they had been friends for just as long.

“Thank you, but that doesn’t matter. He shouldn’t have read it without asking you first. I’m sorry that happened, Kili.”

“Like I said, not a big deal, but I appreciate the sympathy.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” she hesitated as she brushed some loose strands of hair behind her ear, “Why didn’t you want anyone to read it?” 

Kili once again had to take a moment to regain his senses before he leaned in close to her. “You promise not to laugh?” She pressed her lips together into a flat line and nodded. “Honestly, it was kind of a personal poem. I mean I didn’t experience it or anything, at least not really. It came from a dream I had once and I just wanted to put it down on paper. It wasn’t revealing, but it just felt… I don’t know, private. I only gave it to Professor Elrond to critique for the assignment, you know tell me if there were any problems with it, but I guess he thought it was perfect as is.”

“I mean, I have to agree with him on that point. I would have been shocked if there were any flaws you write so beautifully. I knew you could draw, I see you sketching in class all the time, but I didn’t know you could write as well.”

“Writing is a form of art too I guess,” he shrugged. “I’ve never really taken writing classes before, but then I figured that writing is just painting a picture with words; an open canvas for your ears.” He became nervous when she continued to look at him without responding for a moment.

“I see… You uh,” she quickly cleared her throat. “You have quite the silver tongue there. That’s actually why I came over to talk to you. I was hoping you could use it to help me out.”

“You want me to put my tongue to good use?” he snickered as he cocked an eyebrow. It was too easy of an opportunity to tease her, she had to see that, but he was still relieved when she laughed along with him as she shoved him away.

“Oh shut it! What I mean is, I was wondering if you could help me in class. You know, tutor me? I haven’t been doing the best and I was hoping you could help me get my grade up.” 

“I gotta say Tauriel, you don’t strike me as the type of person to get poor grades.”

“Hence why I’m coming to you.”

“Um, I’m pretty sure your grades are better than mine! Are you sure coming to me for help is the wisest course of action?” He matched her smile with his own.

“I mean if you’re not up to the challenge, I could always—”

“—Hold on! I didn’t say ‘no’, did I? First you come to me for help, and now you question my abilities? You wound me Tauriel!” he put his hand over his heart dramatically, causing her to let out another string of laughter. He wondered just how many times he could manage that. “I am offended beyond belief! But don’t worry; my pride isn't damaged too much. I’d be happy to help you.”

“Really?” she beamed. “Oh, that’s so great. Thank you! Is there some time later today we could talk?”

“Ah, unfortunately, today won’t work,” he frowned. “After my next class, I was planning on leaving campus and forcing my brother to give me a lift to the gym downtown. The one here is always too crowded.”

“You mean the gym off Rivendell Pike? I go there too!”

“You do?” Kili’s mind raced as he skimmed through his memories, trying to remember ever seeing her there and couldn’t think of a single time. How had he missed her?

“Yeah. I was actually planning on going later today, so I can drive you if you want. That way you don’t have to bother your brother.”

“Are you sure?”This was all coming out of nowhere and he wasn’t quite sure how to react. “I don’t want to mess up any plans you already had today.”

“Of course I’m sure! We can get to know each other better and we can work on class stuff later. Or not. I’m up for anything really.”

“Well, alright then. My class ends at 4:30. Does that work for you?”

“Yeah! I’ll meet you outside the campus center at 4:45.” Tauriel gathered her bags and got up to leave.

“Wait!” he nearly shouted too quickly before she turned back to look at him. He suddenly wished he hadn’t, but it was too late now. “What if something goes wrong and I am unable to find you once more? Our day would be lost! Our quest unfulfilled!” Kili smiled as she giggled at his theatrics. “Would you find it forward of me to ask you for your number?”

“Yes,” she grinned playfully. “But I will give it to you anyway.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a scrap piece of paper and the pencil they had shared before, scribbling her number down as best as anyone could while writing on their hand before handing it to him.

“Tauriel!” The two of them looked across the open campus grounds to see a young woman with long brown hair waving her hands to get Tauriel’s attention.

“Be there in a sec Arwen!” she called back. “See you later, Kili.”

“See you then,” Kili smiled as he clutched the piece of paper, still in shock at what had just happened. He had just gotten Tauriel’s number. Him. As he watched her walk away toward her friend, he couldn’t help but wonder what he had just gotten himself into.


	3. Coffee Break - Fili

A small bell chimed above Fili’s head as he entered the local café; Misty Mountain Coffee. It was practically empty this afternoon save for a couple of people who were getting up to leave. He went straight to the back and set is bag down when he heard his phone buzz in his pocket and found a message from Kili.

_Don’t worry about picking me up today.  
I got a ride. _

“You have got to be kidding me,” Fili sighed and quickly typed a response.

_Are you serious, Ki? I’m already at the  
coffee shop. _

He sat down for a moment and watched three dots blink across the bottom of the screen.

__

__

_Sorry Bro. You have your computer_  
_with you right? Now you can get some_  
_work done without worrying about me._  
_Enjoy the free Wi-Fi._

Fili let out a defeated sigh again and made his way over to the counter. He was about to open his mouth to order when he noticed the barista already had a cup in hand.

“Grande coffee, no cream, two sugar,” she recited as she handed it to him. As he took the warm cup from her hands, he looked at her skeptically as she gave him the order he was just planning to make. “I… saw you come in and made your usual.”

“That was rather presumptuous of you,” he teased and he pulled the money to pay for his drink. “How did you know I wasn’t going to spice things up and order something different?” He watched the girl quickly become flustered as she fumbled with his money.

Fili definitely recognized her. A pretty face like hers was hard to forget, but he couldn’t recall ever actually talking with her or hearing her name. Her light brown eyes matched her chestnut hair that was tied in a tight bun and her soft features gave her a kind and gentle, almost motherly appearance. She was about the same height as him, probably a little taller if he was being honest with himself, and He guessed that she could only be a year or so older than his brother who was going to turn twenty-one in a few months. 

“W-Well,” she stuttered as she attempted to brush hair behind her ear that wasn't really there; a light pink dusting her cheeks as she tried to explain herself. “You’ve ordered the same thing every time you’ve come in here, so I figured it was a safe bet.” 

Fili laughed at that. “Damn. Do I really come here that often?”

“Often enough,” she smiled. 

He put away his wallet and extended his hand to her. “Name’s Fili, though you probably know that already.”

“Well it’s nice to be formally introduced regardless,” she smiled shaking his hand. “I’m Sigrid.”

“Sigrid,” he repeated, testing the sound in his mouth. “That’s a pretty name.” She smiled and looked away, clearly flattered by his remark. He wasn’t trying to make her nervous, but he certainly wasn’t bothered knowing he was the cause of her shy behavior. 

“So um, is everything alright? You seemed sort of upset when you came in.”

“Oh that?” Fili ran his fingers from the top of his head back through his long strands of hair; he was starting to wish he had tied it back today. He probably looked like a mess. “It was nothing. My brother just bailed on me. Normally I stop by here and get some work done while he goes to class and then I pick him up afterward since he doesn’t have a car to get home, but today he decided to cheat on me. He’s found someone else to give him a ride.”

Sigrid laughed. “I’m sorry to hear that. He should have at least had the decency to warn you before you came all the way out here.”

“My thoughts exactly. On the bright side though, I’ll be able to get more work done this afternoon since I don’t have to worry about watching the clock.”

“I uh… I actually, I have some schoolwork I have to get done myself and it’s a pretty slow day. Would you mind if I joined you?”

“Please do,” he answered immediately. “I’d love the company.”

“O-Okay! I’ll just go get my things,” she smiled as she ran to the back kitchen. Fili barely noticed that he was smiling as he went back over to his table and pulled out his computer. Then again, a nice, quiet chat with a pretty girl; what’s not to smile at? After he spent a few moments absentmindedly scratching his beard and reading emails, Sigrid came over with her own computer and sat down across from him. 

“Do you have a lot of work to do?” Fili asked before taking a sip of his hot coffee. She had prepared it perfectly for him.

“Not really. I just like to get ahead. You never know when it’s going to be a really busy day and you won't have time.” He nodded in agreement and quickly sent off another email. “So what is it that you do, Fili?”

“I work for my uncle who’s an overseas tradesman. Right now I’m really just a department head and have to answer phone calls and emails, so I can do most of my work from home. This place has free Wi-Fi though, so I figure I should take advantage of it.”

“I don’t blame you for that,” she giggled. Fili was starting to like that laugh. “I do the same thing. This is the only place I can get my school work done, so even after my shift has ended, I’ll be here for hours.”

“Where do you go to school?”

“Oh, I don’t actually go to a real college. I take online courses for my undergraduate and I go to the hospital part time to work on my nursing degree, though I used to go to Blue Mountain University.”

“That’s where I graduated from!” Fili grinned. “It’s where my brother goes right now too.”

“Really? It’s a small world isn’t it?” she smiled.

“Why don’t you go there anymore?”

“I had to drop out. My da lost his job and couldn’t afford to send me there anymore.”

“Oh, I’m sorry that happen.” 

“It’s okay. He owns this place now and we’re getting along just fine.”

“Well that’s good to hear.”

“Are you and your brother close?”

“Close doesn’t even begin to describe it,” he chuckled. “We’ve been inseparable ever since he was born. I’ve graduated already, but because I can work from home so easily, I got an apartment not far from campus so we could live together while he goes to school. Saving money is just a bonus for us. Kili can’t afford his own car right now, so he takes the bus in the morning and I pick him up in the afternoon and take him everywhere else.”

“That’s really sweet of you. It’s nice that you get along so well with each other.”

“Do you have any siblings?” Fili asked. 

She nodded with a fond smile. “I’ve got a little brother and a little sister. Bain is sixteen and Tilda is thirteen. My da and I switch off taking them back and forth to school.”

“What about your mom?” For a moment, a flash of sorrow in her eyes appeared before she quickly blinked it away. Dammit. He made her sad.

“She passed away when Tilda was born.”

“Shit. I’m sorry. Here I am trying to have a conversation and I just keep bringing up painful memories for you.”

“It’s okay. There’s no way you could have known so don’t beat yourself up about it.” A moment of silence passed between them. 

“I lost my father too,” Fili finally said. “He was a firefighter. Died just before I turned fourteen.”

“What about your mom?”

“Overseas, helping my uncle, well her brother. I don’t get to see her very much anymore. Sometimes once a year for holidays, but other than that she’s away working.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Yeah, but I’ve got Kili to keep me occupied. I’ve basically turned into a mother myself chasing after him.” 

“I know exactly what you mean! My siblings are more than a handful, especially at their ages. I can barely keep up!” They shared a laugh before being cut off by the bell chiming against the entrance of the café. She quickly gave an apologetic look and got up to help the customer. Fili found himself a little disappointed that their conversation was being cut short, but there wasn’t much he could do about it; he had his work to do and she had hers.

“Don’t worry about it Sig!” a voice from behind the counter called. Fili looked to see a tall slender man with slick black hair and a thin beard that wrapped around his mouth waving for Sigrid to sit back down. “I’ll take care of it. You finish your paper.”

“Are you sure, Da?” Sigrid asked. Fili couldn’t see her face but hoped that there was a smile there. 

Her father cocked his head towards Fili and the rest of her things. “Get back to work,” he ordered sarcastically.

Fili smiled as Sigrid practically skipped her way back over to sit down with him again. “Isn’t your dad worried that you won’t get your work finished sitting here with me?”

“He knows I’ll get it done. Like I said, this is just to get ahead.”

“Well then is he not at all concerned that he is letting his daughter spend time with a charming stranger?”

“Should he be?” Fili smirked, delighting in her blushing face as she played along.

“Absolutely.”


	4. The Challenge - Tauriel

Tauriel’s friends weren’t exactly pleased that she had canceled their plans for that afternoon, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She finally had an opportunity to learn more about Kili and she wasn’t going to waste it. Now in her gym clothes, she leaned against the front of her car as she waited for him, keeping her hands flat on the hood to keep them from reaching into her pocket for her for to ask him where he was; not that she could anyway. She had given him her number, not the other way around. When he finally came out from around the corner of the building, she straightened up and waved to him as he jogged over. 

As he made his way, Tauriel suddenly became aware of their difference in height. While it was true she had always been on the taller side, most of the guys she spent time with like Legolas and Aragorn were just as tall, if not taller than she was. Kili was noticeably a few inches shorter than her and she found herself becoming self-conscious, hoping that her height didn’t make him uncomfortable.

“Hey! You ready to go?” Kili asked when he finally stood in front of her.

“Are you? You’re not going to work out in that are you?”

He looked down at the same clothes he had been wearing in class a few hours ago. “Of course I am. I do some of my best workouts in jeans. You should see me running when I’m wearing a three-piece suit.” She couldn’t suppress the light snort that bubbled up. “Nah. I’ve got a locker at the gym. Can’t be dragging my smelly socks all over campus every day. It’s really a good deed of mine that no one seems to appreciate.”

“Give it time. I’m sure someone will recognize your service to the community one day. Hop in.” Tauriel climbed into her car and Kili quickly followed her into the passenger side. She turned on the ignition, carefully avoided the other students walking across the lot, and made her way onto the main road.

“I’ve gotta be honest Kili,” Tauriel began. “I never really pegged you for a gym rat. You seem more like the quiet loner type that would sit in the corner and read books or listen to music in gym class.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m a gym rat. I do have to make sure I keep up my manly physique, but I only go a few times a week. Can’t go too often and intimidate people after all.” 

Tauriel couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the thick sarcasm in his voice. “Well do you play any sports?”

“Not really. Like you said, I’m an art guy. I like watching sports, but they’re not really my thing. You?”

“I like to go for runs around campus a lot, but I’m not a part of anything official on campus. I used to be a part of the archery club when I was in high school, but they don't have one on campus here and most people I know say that’s not really a sport.”

“Are you kidding me? Archery is totally a sport! I used to take classes too! Got my own compound bow and everything at home.”

“Really?” It was so rare to find anyone else as enthusiastic about archery as she was, and she was surprised to find that a kindred spirit had been so close to her all this time.

“Yeah! I got into it when I was little and my dad signed me up for a camp every summer. We’d shoot together all the time after that. My uncle and my brother think it’s stupid. They prefer more close combat stuff, and I do too, but archery is a personal favorite of mine.”

“Do you still go shooting with your dad?”

“No,” Kili said quietly. Tauriel glanced over to see him staring straight out the window at nothing. “He died when I was nine.”

“I’m so sorry Kili.” She didn’t mean to bring something up so painful for him, but once again she found something else in common with him. “I lost both my parents when I was twelve… Drunk driver. After that, I went to go live with my godfather, Thranduil, but I moved out as soon as I could. Now I live with Arwen in an apartment not too far from campus.”

“Thranduil Greenleaf? The Chief of Police? I didn’t know he was your godfather.”

“You know him? You don’t have some sort of record that I should know about do you?” she teased, wishing she could see his expression without taking her eyes off the road. The truth was that Thranduil was really active in the community and a lot of people knew who he was, but while some people were thankful for and appreciated all the work he did, most people didn’t like him. Thankfully after all these years, she had slipped under the radar, and that was just the way she liked it.

“No," Kili replied dryly. “My dad was a firefighter. They crossed paths more than once.” 

Tauriel wasn’t oblivious and could tell without looking that mentioning her godfather had made him uncomfortable, and small space between them suddenly became tense. She wracked her brain, quickly running through her thoughts to find a new topic. “Well, I know you like more than archery. I saw you doodling a lot of different weapons in your notebook in class, and you said you like close combat stuff. Do you know how to use anything else?” A smile crept across his face and she relaxed.

“I might have taken some sword fighting classes with my brother. I guess you could say that we never really grew out of the ‘hero’ phase of our childhood. We still spar every once in a while. Other than that I’ve taken some judo and boxing lessons here and there. What about you?”

“Well, I take kickboxing classes at the gym a lot, but when it comes to weapons…” she paused for a moment to gain his full attention and made no attempt to hide her smile, “personally, I’m a fan of knives.” 

“Knives?” 

Tauriel did her best not to laugh at his surprise laced with a hint of concern. “Yep. They’re light, easy to carry and conceal, and they’re far more personal than any long-range weapon.” She quickly glanced over and saw the nervous look on his face and she practically flaunted her amusement with a grin. “What? Boys can like guns and arrows and swords, but girls can’t like knives?”

“I mean _I_ don’t have a problem with it.” He put up his hands defensively. “Not at all. It’s just not something you talk about with someone that you’ve just met.”

“We were already talking about weapons, Kili!”

“I mean sure, but we barely know each other. We’re practically strangers.”

“Strangers? I wouldn’t say that.” She began compiling a list in her head. “We’ve sat next to each other in class for almost a full semester. We know each other’s names. I know you’re a really talented artist and you know I like to jog. You know that I’m a senior and I think you’re a sophomore right?” He nodded in response. “We go to the same gym. We know that we both like archery and that we both like fighting. I could go on, but I’d say we’re more than just strangers.”

“Fair enough,” Kili agreed. “I just would have never guessed you’re into knives just from looking at you. You don’t have any sharp objects on you right now do you?”

“No!” she promised. “But trust me Kili, no one comes near me or touches me unless I want them to.” She quickly realized what she said and regretted it, praying that Kili didn’t notice the malice in her voice. She didn’t want to scare him away. Not now, not when things were going so well between them.

“Well that’s good to know. Remind me to never get into a fight with you.” 

Relief quickly swept through her body, and a surprising idea popped into her head. “Are you sure about that?” 

“Oh no. Should I be scared?”

“I mean, if you’re up for it, I wouldn't mind having a go at you in the ring. My kickboxing instructor should be working there today and could probably set up a private match for us so that way no one can watch me kick your ass and you can keep your pride intact.” 

Kili narrowed his eyes and studied her, probably trying to determine just how serious she was. “Are you sure you’re up for that? I’m probably a lot stronger than you.”

“And I think I’m faster than you.”

“No knives right?”

“No knives,” she chuckled as they pulled into the parking lot. She looked him in the eyes and saw a spark ignite.

“You’re on.”


	5. Dreams and Dead Ends - Kili

“This is me,” he pointed to the apartment complex just in front of them. Tauriel carefully pulled into the small lot and parked her car. Kili was doing his best to keep his wet hair off the leather of her car, but then again, her hair was more soaked than his, and she didn't seem to mind the water on the seats. They had spent hours at the gym, far longer than either of them had planned to, and were drenched in sweat by the time they had finished, so they made sure to take showers before leaving. By the time they had left, it had already gotten dark. “Thanks again for driving me.”

“No problem! I’m happy to,” Tauriel smiled. 

“Do you wanna come in and get something to drink?”

“Oh, I don’t wanna be a bother. And your brother works from home right? I don’t wanna interrupt him.”

“You’re not a bother at all,” Kili promised. “And I don’t see my brother’s car here so I don’t think he’s even home right now.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Tauriel. Let me pay you back for hauling my ass across town today.”

“I thought _I_ was paying _you_ back for helping me with my homework?” He continued to stare at her unwavering until she let out a sigh and smiled. “Fine. If you insist.”

“I do. Come on.” As the two of them got out of the car, Kili’s mind was racing. He had no idea what he was doing. He just officially met this girl today and now he was inviting her up to his apartment like a creep. She did agree to come with him though, so maybe she didn’t think he was that bad. The truth was he really had no ulterior motives; he just didn’t want her to leave yet.

The two of them walked together up a few flights of stairs, Kili smiled and said hello to a passing neighbor on their way out as he took out his keys, but he unlocked the door to his apartment, he felt as if his stomach had plummeted straight through the earth. He couldn’t remember if his place was clean, and having a messy apartment was not the impression he wanted to give her. As they walked through the archway, Kili silently thanked Fili for straightening up before he had left today. His apartment wasn’t exactly clean, but it was at the very least presentable. His books and papers were still all over the kitchen table, but the breakfast he remembered eating that morning was nowhere to be seen. The pillows on the couch weren’t straight and the cords from his Xbox were a tangled mess under their less than amazing TV, but there wasn’t anything on the floor, his bedroom door was closed, and as far as Kili could tell, the place didn’t smell terrible.

“Your apartment’s pretty big,” Tauriel said. “And it’s really nice. Nicer than a lot of other guys apartment’s that I’ve been to.” Kili was pleased he had scored higher on the scale, though he tried not to think about how many were on that list. 

“Thanks. Fili likes to keep it looking clean,” he explained, dropping his bags by the front door and taking his shoes off. Tauriel followed suit.

“So I imagine that means that any mess in here is your doing?”

“Not _all_ of it,” he lied as he made is way over to his fridge. “What do you want to drink?”

“Do you have any beer?” she asked sheepishly.

“Young lady!” he gasped. “You have to drive home soon and you expect me to provide you with alcohol? It would be highly irresponsible of me to give you this.” He pulled two beers off the top shelf.

“What are you talking about? You’re younger than I am! Are you even legal?” she accused. 

The bottles hissed as Kili popped the caps off. “No, but I will be in the summer,” he admitted as he handed her the drink while she leaned onto the counter. “That’s the advantage of living with an older brother off campus. He buys the booze and I don’t have to worry about the RA’s or public safety coming after me.”

“How do you know I’m not an RA?”

“Are you?”

“No. Just I thought I’d try to make you nervous, but I guess it didn’t work.”

“You’ll have to do better than that.” They clanked their glass bottles together and took a sip of the cold alcohol. “Although I will say you succeeded when we were fighting before. You were impressive.”

“You weren’t too bad yourself,” she smirked. 

“I usually don’t get a good work out in unless I’m sparring with my brother, but that was one of the best matches I’ve had in a while. You were so fast I could barely keep up.”

“Told you so. I know how all the people in my kickboxing class move, so it was nice to fight against someone new and unpredictable. You are definitely stronger than I imagined; stronger than a lot of the bigger guys in my class. I’m really going to be sore tomorrow.”

“No kidding. You dropped me on my ass so much, I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk! You wanna sit down?” he asked motioning to the couch. She hummed in approval and they both made their way over, slumping onto the old furniture with exhausted sighs. He noticed her looking at something behind him.

“Is that your brother?” she asked pointing to a picture of him and Fili rock climbing. 

“Yep, that’s Fili.”

“You guys have such similar names, I half expected you to be twins, but you don’t really look alike at all. How much older is he?”

“He’s five years older. He actually looks a lot more like my dad and I look more like my mom. Here,” he said as he pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his photos until he found a picture of his mother. 

“You do look a lot like her! You have the same eyes and nose, same hair color too. Where is she in this picture?”

“She’s somewhere in Europe. She works with my uncle. He’s in trades and she works in international relations so she’s gone a lot.”

“You must miss her.”

“Yeah. I call her as often as I can since I’m her baby and all. When she is here though, it’s hard to have her around for too long. She can be really aggressive.

“One time when Fili and I were little, we wanted to go to the creek in the woods at the back of our neighborhood, but in order to do that, we had to hop over our neighbor Oin’s fence. Now Oin wasn't exactly the oldest guy in the neighborhood, but the man is practically deaf. I think he was a Woodstock kid or something, and he wasn’t mean, but he didn’t want people going near his herb garden. Fili and I were super careful not to step on any of his plants when sneaking through, and we didn’t, but when we were making our way over the other side of the fence, we snapped one of the posts in half.”

“Wait, was it you or Fili that broke it?” she interrupted.

“Fili insists to this day that it was me. I swear I was already over on the other side with both feet on the ground before it broke. We checked to see if Oin had heard anything since the crack was so loud, but he didn’t seem to notice so we straightened it out and left. 

“Later that day, after our mom came home from work, she somehow knew that we had done something and went around the neighborhood asked everyone if anything was wrong. After she found out what we did, she let out a string of curses that would have put a sailor to shame, dragged us by our ears over to Oin’s place, made us apologize, and then forced us to replace the _entire_ fence.”

“The whole thing? How big was it?”

“Oin really liked his gardening. His property was practically the size of a soccer field.”

“No way!” She laughed in disbelief. “I don’t believe you.” 

“Well you should! Now I get headaches if I even look at a hammer.”

“Aw poor baby!” she continued. “But it sounds like your mom really loves you a lot. You and Fili seem really close as well.”

“He’s my best friend. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, no matter how much trouble we get into together.”

“I wish I had that kind of relationship with Legolas,” she sighed. She rested her head against her open palm as she leaned against the back of the couch. “We never really fought or anything, and we used to go on adventures together, but he’s just so overprotective and serious now.”

“Isn’t Legolas your boyfriend?” Kili asked. Tauriel suddenly let out a long string of laughter, continuing to the point that she had to hold her stomach. Kili liked her laugh. It wasn’t small or quiet or light, but loud and unapologetic, a proud laugh.

“Hell no, ha! Legolas is my older brother! Well adoptive at least. Or would it be god-sibling? He’s Thranduil’s biological son.” 

One part of Kili’s stomach dropped at the sound of Thranduil’s name again. He hadn’t known that he was essentially her father, his last name being Greenleaf and hers being Mirkwood, and judging by the fact that she was talking to him, she had no idea who his uncle was. If either of them had known this beforehand, they probably wouldn’t even be looking at each other.

The other part of Kili’s stomach was filled to the brim with butterflies trying to flutter up to his throat, but he did his best to swallow them back down. Just because she wasn’t dating Legolas, didn’t mean she wasn’t dating anyone, and that certainly didn’t mean she had any interest in him. He knew better than to get his hopes up. 

“Speaking of,” he continued. “How does the Chief of Police feel about his goddaughter wanting to be a lawyer?” 

“Pleased that I’m choosing a mild-mannered job, not so happy I’m targeting the criminals he puts away. He’d much rather I deal with corporate law or public interest.” She took another sip of her beer. “He’s just going to have to settle for the fact that I want to be a DA.”

“DA’s go after a lot of different people. Any particular demographic in mind?”

“I want to protect victims of abuse, work with special victim cases and situations like that. The elderly, women, children, men, anyone that needs their voice heard.”

“That’s a lot to put on your plate. Years of school and training only to deal with other people’s fucked up lives sounds exhausting, physically and mentally. I’d imagine it’d be emotionally draining as well. You sure you can handle it?”

“I'll do what I have to do I can make it happen. I've already got graduate school lined up and I'm gonna apply to intern at as many places that I can. I know it’ll be a lot of work, so I fully expect to come home after long days only to stay up till three in morning as I cry about other people's lives over a fully stocked cabinet of wine, but if I can make one person feel safe again, it’ll all be worth it.” Kili sat for a moment in awe of her. She couldn’t be real. There had to be some flaw that she had that he just couldn’t see yet, but he was too afraid to look for it. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he asked, his train of thought derailed. 

“What are your plans after you graduate?”

“Well,” he cleared his throat and sat up straight, pretending to fix an imaginary tie. “As a business major, I thought what better place to work than at my uncle's company along with the rest of my family? I don’t have to worry about looking anywhere else when I know I can get a job from my uncle and become a corporate sleazeball.”

“Oh yes,” Tauriel laughed at his impression. “I can tell that you are _very_ passionate about this decision. But seriously, why are you going to work for your uncle? Even if you did want to go into business, you don’t have to work for him do you?”

“It’s kind of a family business,” Kili relaxed. “My uncle doesn’t have any kids, so he wants Fili and I to take over when he retires.”

“But he’s letting you take art classes now, right?”

“Only after I promised him I’d take summer classes to make up for it. I’ve got some freedom to choose, the choices just have to fit within a certain box of sorts.”

“Kili,” Tauriel said. She set her beer down on the small table in front of them and looked him in the eye, suddenly very serious. “You’re too talented of an artist to not pursue it.”

“How do you know that? Have you even seen any of my stuff?”

“No, but I’ve seen your sketches. I’ve watched you draw in class before and everything you make is always so detailed and amazing. If that’s what your doodles look like, I’m sure your finished stuff is beautiful. You draw on any piece of paper you can get your hands on, I mean hell, I feel like you’d draw on a napkin with ketchup if you had to!” He let out a laugh at that but knew he couldn’t deny it. “If art is what you’re really passionate about, then you should do it.”

“Artists don’t exactly make a lot of money.”

“But it’s not everything. Why don’t you talk to your mom about it, or your uncle?”

“Ooh, now you see _that_ right there is the opposite of a good idea.”

“I mean, your mom is really aggressive and you survived her.”

“There’s a difference between aggressive and angry.” Concern flicked across her face and Kili instantly regretted his phrasing. “No, no. Not like that. My uncle is just… He’s very prideful and stubborn. He’s not cruel at all, but you don’t ever cross him or anyone he’s truly loyal to. He always has a plan, a goal to reach that he’ll stick to no matter what. He won't let anything stand in the way of what he believes will be the best for everyone, including me. It’s worked so far. He practically brought the company back from bankruptcy single-handedly and works tirelessly to take care of everyone in the company no matter how minor their role. He’s a smart businessman and a good leader, he’s just sometimes hard to be around.”

“What if you worked for him for only a little while? You could get your experience, become financially stable and then Fili could take care of the business while you do what you’re really passionate about.”

“Like I said, he has a plan for me and he’s gonna stick with it.” 

“He’s not going to be around forever though. He can't keep you from doing what you want from the beyond right.”

“It sounds simple Tauriel, but my family has a lot of history behind it and it's a lot more complicated than you’d think.” It hurt him to see her look so sad, and about him no less. What did it matter to her what he did with his life though? She sat in silence for a few moments thinking.

“I just…” she stared down at her hands. “I wish there was something I could say. Something I could tell you to make you feel better. There aren't a lot of things worse than feeling trapped, like you’re stuck and can’t find a way out and I don’t want other people to feel like they are.”

“Tauriel…” Now Kili didn’t know what to say. Sure maybe he was trapped in a vague sense, but he didn’t _always_ feel that way. His uncle still lets him take some of the classes he wanted, buy art supplies, and generally do whatever he pleased so long as he also did everything else that was asked of him. It’s not like he wasn’t allowed to have his own life. Thorin just wanted to make sure he wasn’t wasting his time and was ready when he had to assume his role when the time came.

“I’m sorry Kili. That was kinda rude of me, wasn’t it? Thinking that I could solve your family problems when I don’t know anything them, or you. We were having a good time tonight and I had to go and fuck it up.”

“You didn’t Tauriel. I promise you didn’t. Everyone has problems and I’m no exception. Honestly, I’m glad I have someone like you in my life to remind me that what I want is important too.” She looked back up to him, giving him the most appreciative smile he’d ever seen and in that moment, he told himself he could be happy with this. He didn’t need anything else from her. 

“I’m happy to have you in my life too Kili. I just wish we’d met sooner.”

He finished off the last of his beer and put the bottle on the table. “I guess that’s kind of my fault. Being the loner and all.” 

“But you’re not a loner,” she countered. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. “I see you with your friends around campus all the time.”

“I’ve known them for a while though. Most of them I know because they’re parents know my uncle or I knew them in high school. I haven’t really made friends with anyone on campus.”

“Why? You’re an awesome person Kili. I know I’ve only known you for like, less than a day, but I can’t think of a reason why people wouldn’t want to hang out with you. Why do you isolate yourself?” She, again, brushed her hair behind her ear.

“I guess most people just can’t handle my devilishly good looks and my unbelievable charm.” He winked causing her to let out her loud laugh again. “Nah, I’m kidding. Honestly, sometimes it’s just easier this way.” 

“Well, you can add me to your friend list now,” she said as she playfully punched him in the arm. “More proof that you’re not a loner.”

“Should I drag you around campus with me and display you as evidence to everyone else? Then people might actually believe that. Then again that might be another bad decision on your part. I might just end up bringing you down.”

“Kili! Oh my gods. Stop it!” she practically shouted as she hit him with a throw pillow.

“Hey! Hey! I thought we were only fighting in the ring!”

“Shut up! You’re a cool person and I’ll keep telling you that till you believe it! Don’t think of yourself as any less, understand?” she argued as she continued to playfully hit him with the pillow.

“Alright, alright! I get it!” She stopped hitting him and both of them erupted in a fit of laughter. In fact, Kili couldn’t remember ever laughing that hard with anyone but his brother

Just as they stopped to catch their breath, the door opened behind them and Fili walked in surprised to find an unknown guest in his apartment. Kili let a small smile slip as he watched Tauriel try to inconspicuously put her pillow back in place.

“Kili, I didn’t know we were having company,” Fili said as he took his shoes off without breaking eye contact with the extra person in the room. 

“Neither did I until about,” Kili looked over at the clock on the wall. “Half an hour ago. You were out late.”

“Well unlike you, I have a job that keeps the lights on in the place and I had to get work done.” Fili hung his bag on the edge of a chair in the kitchen. “Since you bailed on me today I figured I might as well take advantage of my free time.”

Tauriel looked at Kili and frowned. “I thought you said you didn’t have plans today?”

“I told you I was going to make my brother drive me to the gym. My plans didn’t change, my transportation did.”

“Well something that certainly hasn’t changed is your horrible manners,” Fili accused as he extended his hand to Tauriel. “I’m Fili. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Fili,” she smiled as she reached over the couch to shake his hand. “Kili’s told me a lot about you. I’m Tauriel.”

“Tauriel… Aren’t you Legolas’ little sister?”

“Yeah. How do you know my brother?”

“I graduated in the same class as him. What’s he up to now?”

“Following dear ol’ dad’s footsteps. He just made lieutenant on the police force.”

“Impressive. So then I take it you’re the one who drove my brother around today. I hope he didn’t twist your arm.”

“I would never!” Kili gasped. Fili shoved his brother’s head aside, making a mess of his still damp hair.

“Don’t worry,” Tauriel interrupted. “He’s actually helping me with an assignment for class.”

“Your grades can’t be that bad for you to go to him, can they?” Fili questioned.

“Hey!”

“Or are you doing some sort of experimental testing on him?” As embarrassing as his brother was being, Kili welcomed any opportunity to hear Tauriel laugh more.

“No. No testing at all. Actually, speaking of tests, I’ve got a couple of them coming up that I need to study for so I should probably get going.” Tauriel stood up and made her way to the door followed closely by Kili. 

He opened the door for her as she slipped her shoes back on. “Thanks again for driving and working out with me today. I’m sorry we didn’t get any actual work done.”

“It’s not a problem. We’ve got a week or so to work on it and I’m happy to spar with you anytime you’d like. I’ll text you tomorrow, alright?”

“Sounds good. Do you need me to walk you to your car?”

“No, I'm fine. You might have knocked me on the ground a few times today, but I still kicked your ass. I think I can handle myself.”

“Alright then. Drive safe.” She waved goodbye with a soft smile and Kili closed the door behind her, already missing her presence.

“Kili. What are you doing?” Fili’s voice jolted Kili back to attention and he turned around to find his brother standing immediately in front of him with his arms crossed.

“Um, walking my guest to the door and exercising the manners that you don’t believe I have.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Fili accused, his voice remaining level. “You know who her father is?”

“He’s not _really_ her dad he’s—”

“—But you know right?” Fili cut him off. Kili got the message and dropped his shoulders.

“Yes... I know who he is.”

“Mahal, Kili,” his brother huffed. “You're always so careless.”

“Oh for fucks sake Fi, this is hardly the most reckless thing I, let alone you, have ever done.”

“Do you realize what's at stake here? All of the years of hiding and training, the secrets and progress we've made. Everything Uncle Thorin and this family have sacrificed would be thrown out the window if her dad ever found out. She could be feeding him information about us. You and I and everyone else would be locked up and yet you’re talking to her? Letting her into our home? Having study dates?”

“We’re not dating!” Kili snapped, his words a double edge sword.

“That’s not the point dammit!” Fili let out a sigh and pinched his brow. “Does she know who we are?”

“It doesn’t seem like it. Thranduil must not have told her about us.”

“Of course he’s told her! He hates the Durin family. You think for one second he hasn’t warned her about us? Even if she doesn’t know right now, she’s going to find out. What then, Kili?” He didn’t answer, partly because he didn’t want to know, and partly because he didn’t want to say it and make it real. Fili took a deep breath before continuing. “This will only lead to a dead end, Ki. You need to break it off with her. Now.”

“I can’t. I promised I would help her. If I broke it off now she’d get suspicious.”

“Then end it with her soon. Uncle Thorin already has it hard enough right now. He doesn’t need this.” Fili stalked out of the room and left Kili alone to clean up the mess he had made.


	6. Where There's Smoke - Fili

Fili had thought that getting out of his apartment, taking a drive, and maybe getting some coffee, would be a good way to get his mind off his brother, but the empty car only gave him more room to think and notice the growing guilt pestering him in the back of his mind. Perhaps he had been too hard on Kili the other night. He didn’t want to hurt his brother, but something had to be done to get him to see straight. He shouldn’t have to remind Kili that he can't be getting too close to anyone, especially Tauriel. It was just too dangerous and she wasn’t worth it, but the logic brought little comfort and didn’t make disappointing his little brother any easier. Kili had always felt like an outsider, even in his own family, and Fili hadn’t seen him so comfortable with another person after such a short span of time, but did the person making him happy have to be Tauriel? What had she said to him to make him suddenly think she was worth the risk? Of all of the people in this city, her father—or her father figure as Kili corrected—hated their family the most. 

The way he saw it, the sooner Kili broke things off the better. There were only two outcomes to this situation: Tauriel finds out about who they are on her own and hates Kili for lying to her, or Kili tells her the truth and she turns on him because of her father's influence. Either way, Kili would be hurt and feel alone again. If he broke it off on his own now, then it would be his choice and it wouldn’t be as painful, at least that’s what Fili was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince Kili. He just wanted to protect his brother.

It suddenly dawned on him as he pulled into the café parking lot just how hypocritical he was being by spending time with Sigrid. Sure she didn’t know who he really was, but he had shot down that same excuse when Kili brought it up. He wasn’t heartless and he could actually understand Kili’s desire to want to spend as much time with Tauriel as he could before he had to cut ties. After all, the reason he had come home late the other night was because he had spent the whole afternoon talking with Sigrid. In this case, however, Fili wasn’t putting his family in danger, but Sigrid’s and that may actually be worse.

He shouldn’t get involved with her anymore, he told himself as he walked through the door, familiar bell ringing overhead. It’s not fair to her for him to bring his family troubles into her life, especially when they all seemed to be doing so well. He should just say goodbye today and—

“Like I said, my da has gone out and I don’t know when he’ll be back,” Sigrid spoke from across the room. Fili stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him. At the counter stood a tall, slender man in a black suit with a blood red tie. His hair was a short amber color that seemed to be on fire, but the man’s expression was cold and calm. His face wore a smile so sinister his teeth could be mistaken for fangs and his narrow eyes were fixed onto the young woman standing tall before him but looked as though she were ready to run away in terror. 

Fili knew exactly who this man was and an anger that he thought had been buried long ago began to resurface. 

“Well,” the man drawled in a deep honeyed voice. “Please let your father know that I dropped by to say ‘Hello’. I haven’t seen him in quite some time and I do love running into old acquaintances. Have a pleasant day Ms. Bowman.” The man grabbed his drink and turned toward the door when he saw the blond man standing there with his feet cemented to the ground. Fili felt his brow crease as the man’s smile grew into a sickening grin. He’d been recognized as well.

“Fili?” Sigrid question when she noticed him.

“And speaking of old acquaintances!” the man bellowed as he slithered over. Fili stood his ground and clenched his fist, forcing himself to keep them to his side. “It’s good to see you again Fili.”

“Mr. Smaug,” Fili nearly growled through his teeth.

“Oh come now. We’ve known each other long enough to be on a first name basis, haven’t we? You may call me Samuel if you like.”

“Unfortunately that would conflict with my professionalism, Mr. Smaug. I work for my uncle now.”

“You do? Why the last time I saw you, you were still a young college boy if I recall. Well, aren’t you moving up in the world? Time certainly does fly and—”

“—What do you want?” Fili bit.

“Me? I just came in here to grab some coffee before my meeting. I ran into the daughter of an old business associate of mine and decided to ask if he was around so we could have a chat. Unfortunately, he is not in, so it seems it would be a loss for me today.” A business associate? Who the hell was he… Bowman. That was the name he had said. So that man he saw the other day was Bard Bowman? She was that Sigrid? Dammit this was worse than he thought, far worse.

“Perhaps my memory is foggy, but if I recall correctly, you don’t take losing too well.” Fili glanced over to Sigrid, who was standing with another female coworker watching the scene unfold. Whatever Smaug had said to her had frightened her, and his blood began to boil. He glared back to Smaug, whose smug smile hadn’t dropped or even twitched. 

“Perhaps, but the road to success is paved with mistakes well handled, don’t you agree?” Fili didn’t answer, unwilling to waste his breath and unsure if he could control himself much longer. “Oh, would you look at the time! I must be off. Please send my regards to your uncle for me would you?”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t dream of neglecting to tell him that I saw you today. Please, I don’t want to keep you from your meeting.” Using a considerable amount of effort to not swing his leg back and kick Smaug in the gut right there, Fili carefully stepped aside to let him pass and the tall man began to walk out gracefully as if he were the king of an entire mountain. 

“Thank you. It was nice to see you again, Fili,” he grinned as he slipped on his red-tinted sunglasses. “Oh, and tell your brother I say hello as well. He’s in school right now, isn’t he? The same one you went to if I’m not mistaken.” Fili’s anger flared up again and he clenched his teeth. If Smaug went anywhere near his brother he would… “Oh please don’t put such a look on your face. It severely ages you. I hope to see you and the rest of your family in the future. You as well Ms. Bowman,” he nodded to her. 

It would be so easy right now, Fili thought, to just take him out now that his back was turned. To bloody his face for threatening his brother, for acting like he had done nothing wrong, _for intimidating Sigrid_ , but she was still there watching him along with an entire shop full of people. For the sake of his family and the safety of everyone here, he could do nothing but watch Smaug’s back as the door closed behind him and he crossed the lot to his car. 

He knew he had to warn his uncle about Smaug’s return, but as soon as the expensive car was out of sight, the tension in his feet exploded and he ran over to the frightened girl. “Sigrid! Are you alright?”

“Are you?” she asked with her voice trembling. Her coworker had her arms wrapped around her, holding her in place but unable to calm her friend’s shaking body. “I thought you were going to punch him through the wall!”

“I’m fine,” he promised, which was true. He was more than a little angry but still fine. She, on the other hand, was not. “I’m more worried about you.”

“I’m okay. I promise.”

“You’re not okay,” the coworker interrupted. “You’re shaking like a leaf. Who was that man?”

Sigrid didn't look at anyone when she spoke. “He’s a horrible human being, that’s who he is. I can’t stand him.”

“And with good reason,” Fili added. “You need to take a break. Come sit down.”

“No. I can still work.”

“And you will,” the coworker stated. “After you take a fifteen-minute break. I can handle things for now.”

“But…”

“No buts,” Fili cut her off. “Come with me. We can sit and talk.”

“And who are you?” the coworker asked as she pulled Sigrid in protectively.

“It’s okay Rose. He’s a friend, I promise.” Rose glared at Fili for a second, but then reluctantly let go and moved back behind the register to meet the new costumers. Sigrid quickly walked along the counter while Fili kept parallel to her, but once she was out and right next to him, brought his hand carefully to her back as some kind of support for her, and assurance to him that she was still there. He could feel how much she was trembling now, or maybe he was the one shaking in rage. He gently directed her to the same table in the back that they sat at before and placed himself across from her.

“Sigrid. You have to be honest with me please,” Fili begged. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, or at least I will be. He just… he makes me sick.”

“What did he want from you?”

“He wanted to talk to my da. He’s picking Tilda up from school, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. I wasn’t about to tell him anything.” 

Fili relaxed when he realized her fear was quickly trickling into frustration and that her shaking was disappearing. “Why did he want to see your father?”

“I don’t know," she snapped. "I thought we were done with him."

“What do you mean?”

“He’s the reason Da lost his job. We could never prove anything, but we knew it was him. Da used to be a lawyer and Smaug was one partner at the firm. They shared office space, but they never worked the same cases. Da was working on some cases two years ago about some gang-related incidents and the next thing we know, Da gets dropped from the company and Smaug gets promoted.” 

Fili swallowed hard as things became clear to him. Smaug was still as cold-blooded as he was five years ago and equally untrustworthy. There was no way Smaug was here coincidentally. He wanted something and was willing to take a few hits to get it.“Did he say anything else?” 

“No. He just…” she stopped, perhaps hoping he hadn’t heard her as she glanced down at the floor, unwilling to look him in the eyes. 

“What Sigrid?”

“He just looked at me.” 

Fili seethed, unable to hide the traces of anger bubbling back up. “Looked at you how?”

“Like he was thinking something else? Like he wanted something from me? I don’t… He would look at me the same way whenever I would visit Da at the office to bring him lunch or take Tilda off his hands. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore,” she shivered. Fili clenched his fist. He never knew Smaug to go after younger women, it might just be a scare tactic, but he was not about to take that chance. “Fili,” she began, his attention brought back to the present. “How do you know him?”

“My family’s had a few run-ins with him, and not in a good way. A few years ago, he hit our company hard with some false charges and we lost a lot of money and support. Fortunately, we had a lot of loyal customers and we were not only able to survive it, but also keep things from going public and ruining relations even more. Other companies haven’t been so lucky. Anywhere that man goes, desolation follows.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to tell Da. If he loses this job too…”

“Hey, listen to me,” Fili said as he took her hand in his. She looked up at him as if she were surprised by the contact, and when Fili noticed the tears in her eyes, he would have promised her anything right there. “That’s not going to happen. You can’t think like that. Okay?” She let out a small nod and wiped the tears from her face with her free hand. “Do you want me to stay with you until your father gets back?”

“Oh, I don’t want to bother… I mean you have to pick up your brother today don’t you?”

“Something tells me he’s going to find another ride today. I can stay with you as long as you need me to,” he smiled. 

“Thank you Fili,” she smiled through fresh tears. “Thank you so much.” He rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand in a small attempt to soothe her. He made his mind up right then and there. It didn’t matter who her family was and their relation to Smaug, it didn’t matter that staying by her side would be dangerous for both of them; he would protect her. 

He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.


	7. Take the Hint - Tauriel

Over the next week, Tauriel and Kili had fallen into a routine. They’d go to class together, spend a few hours working on their assignments, Kili would go to his other class, then they’d go to the gym together. Although she could hardly call the time they spent on their classwork “working”. They would complete other homework that was due sooner, they would have their textbooks out for a few minutes before inevitably finding something better to do, but they mostly just hung out with each other on campus. Kili didn’t invite her up to his place anymore, and while Tauriel was curious about it, she didn’t press. 

Arwen was beginning to notice how much they were hanging out together. She wasn’t suspicious or angry, if anything she would poke fun at Tauriel for trying to spend all of her free time with Kili, saying that she really wants to officially meet the guy who was stealing her best friend away from her, but Tauriel promised she didn’t have to worry about that.

Some of her other friends weren’t as thrilled. They were unhappy with the fact that she was canceling plans and spending so much time with someone they didn’t think was worth her time, especially a loner sophomore. Eventually, she told them they could either suck it up or leave her alone; some of them did. She didn’t mind though since she was already used to people being superficial around her. Besides, she’d rather have Kili in her life than them.

“I don’t know how you do this Kili,” Tauriel sighed. “We’ve been working on this for almost a week and I feel like we’ve only found things that I don’t want to or can’t write about.”

“Which means we’re that much closer to finding what you do what to write about,” he countered with a crooked smile. They were in one of the private study rooms in the library where no one would bother them and the small, cramped room forced them to sit close together. The space only had a table, which was now covered with scraps of crumpled paper, a few cracked chairs that desperately needed to be replaced, and a whiteboard that had doodles left on it from before they had gotten there. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Taur. You’ve made progress.”

“What about you? You’ve got to turn in a paper too. Can we work on yours for a little? Maybe I’ll get inspired.”

“You’ve already read it.” She looked back at him confused. She must have been making a funny face because he began laughing. “To make up for reading my paper in class without asking me, Professor Elrond is taking my paper early and giving me an A.”

“You’re kidding.” She hid her face in her arms on the desk when he shook his head. “This is completely unfair.”

“It’s not so bad. It just gives me more time you help you out.”

“The paper is due in a few days. All the help in the world couldn’t save me at this point." She pouted as she looked up at him again, but her frown didn’t last long. He was still grinning at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. It was contagious. His dark brown eyes were happy and comforting; she could practically feel the support he was trying to send her and it made her feel warm all over.

“Alright. Let's try something different then,” he suggested as he cleared all the scraps of paper away from her. He pushed them to the other side of the table and moved his chair closer to her. “In my poem, I turned people into objects right?”

“Yeah. You turned a man and woman into the moon and a star.”

“Well why don’t you do the opposite? Take an object and turn it into a human?”

“That’s sounds even harder.”

“Come on, don’t you trust me?”

“Considering you’ve successfully helped me procrastinate to this point, I don’t know if I believe you to help me pass this at all, let alone finish it.”

“Hey, who’s the tutor here? You’re the one who came to me for help.”

“Yes, but it seems all I’ve gotten out of it is a lifetime's worth of bruises from sparring rather than studying.”

“And I don’t get them from you?” He pulled up the edge of his shirt, revealing a large black and yellow bruise that was starting to fade just under the side of his ribcage. “You’re so ruthless, I’m lucky you haven’t broken anything.” 

She flashed back to the moment she had kicked him there a few days ago. He had left himself open and she instinctually went in for a damaging blow, and then immediately regretted when she knocked him to the floor. She was scared she’d seriously hurt him despite his promise to her that he was fine, but his wincing expression and inability to get up immediately told her a different story so she had them stop so she could take a look at him. She hadn’t been embarrassed when he took his shirt off so she could examine him, or when he fought shirtless after working out for hours and getting covered in sweat, but they were at school now. What if someone else walked by and saw him through the window? There was no medical or physical need for him to bare himself to her like this. Was he just this comfortable with her now? She would keep her emotions in check for now, but she knew that if he didn’t have an injury, she wouldn’t be able to ignore the soft lines of his toned stomach as she was right now. 

“I said I was sorry for that!” she defended.

“You did, and you can make it up to me by listening to me about this now.”

“Fine. So how do we do this?”

“Well you're going to start by making a list.”

“How is that going to help?”

“Well think of it like this, we’ve been trying to take human beings and compare them to objects and things. There are a lot of things in the world that humans are similar to because humans are really complex. There are so many options and people to chose from like…” he stopped for a second to consider what he was about to say, “like you for example.”

Oh this ought to be good. “Oh really? What random things in this world could possibly be used to describe me?” His eyes narrowed for a second to focus on her, and she wished she could jump into his mind right now.

“You’re really tall; like oak tree tall,” he began.

She playfully kicked him under the table. “Or maybe you're just super short."

“Hey! It’s not a dig or anything. True you're not exactly a giant basketball player, but you're still above average. So I could compare you to a tree, strong and protective of the people around you, always reaching up for what you want while keeping yourself rooted and realistic, stubborn and unmoving when it comes to your opinion, but not completely obstinate. When you were trying to make me feel better that night at my place, you held your opinion and wouldn’t give up. You kept trying to tell me to look for another way out, but you also didn't keep pushing me to change and accepted the fact it’s my problem to work out. I guess in that case, rather than an oak tree, you’d be a willow.

“Now your hair is long and red. It almost has this glow about it too, kinda like lava rolling down a mountain, so I could compare you to a volcano, passionate and fiery about things you love like archery. You’re powerful and intimidating when you fight, an unstoppable and driven force in the pursuit of your desire to become a lawyer, despite your godfather’s disapproval and difficult it will be. Plus judging by how often you hit me, you’re rather aggressive as well.” Tauriel glared with a sour frown, but didn’t want to prove is point and tensed her muscles to keep them close. “Ha! It's not a bad thing, I promise. You tell this to anyone and I will flat out deny it, but the first time I fought you at the gym you made me pretty nervous. You didn’t hold back, and I wasn’t expecting it. Not only were you this force of nature coming at me, but you were enjoying yourself; you were doing something that you loved and were good at.” Her frown slowly shifted into a smirk as she realized that Kili had neglected to mention, or perhaps wasn't aware, that she also had a short temper and could explode just like a volcano too. Many sore throats from yelling at Thranduil in high school about, well everything, could attest to that.

“In the end, these things both describe you, but a tree and a volcano are very different, and unless you know how to fit them together into a narrative well, it’s either going to sound too cookie cutter or it’s not going to make sense at all.” Tauriel just stared back at him, taking in and reviewing everything he had just said to her as the words rolled around in her mind. It dawned on her then that she was probably blushing at his flattering descriptions her and the mere realization made her feel like blushing even more. No one had ever described her in such a way, at least not to her face. Does he really mean all of those things? Is that what he sees when he looks at her? He quickly looked away and she realized she hadn’t said anything yet. Her mind scrambled in an attempt to focus again, to come up with something to say and make sense of… wait, was he blushing too?

“So, I uh,” he cleared his throat, “I think that the problem you’re having is that you're looking at all of the possibilities in comparing a person to a specific thing and it’s overwhelming you.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, regaining her voice. “Maybe you’re right.”

“So we’re going to do the opposite.”

“How?”

He pushed a new, clean piece of paper in front of her. “I want you to write down ten objects that you own; jewelry, something on a wall in your room, or some toy you used to have when you were little, but they can’t be too similar to each other. You can’t write down two articles of clothing or two different books.”

“If you think it will work…” She picked up her pen again and began to write things down while Kili started sketching in his own book. Keeping her head down, she glanced up at him, watching the features of his face shift and twist as he focused. His eyes narrowing and flicking across the page, his teeth biting the inside of his cheek as if he wasn’t sure about something, his thumb lazily drifting back and forth across his bottom lip as the corner of his mouth twisted up slightly. Her eyes snapped back down to her own paper, heart pounding in fear that his smirk was from him spotting her. What was she doing? She was supposed to be working, not ogling Kili. Things that she owned, things that she owned... Well there was her favorite green dress, her knife collection, the diamond necklace her mom had left her…

“Taur? Yo Taur! Is that you?” Tauriel searched for the origin of the voice to see someone squinting at her through cupped hands and she immediately wished she could evaporate into thin air. It was Feanor. His black hair was twisted around the designer sunglasses on the top of his head and he wore a red BMU muscle shirt. He was in one of the fraternities on campus attending on an athletic scholarship and someone she used to be friends with. Well, ‘friend’ wasn’t really the right word; actually, they were barely even acquaintances in her mind. They knew each other well enough and he was blatantly interested in her, hitting on her at every party he could find her at, but she wasn’t interested in the slightest, and he was too pig-headed to notice. Apparently to him, ‘no’ and ‘back off I'm not interested’ mean ‘let's hang out’ and ‘try harder till I say yes’. He was so shallow and superficial that she could stand in a puddle of him and not get her feet wet. She’d stopped counting how many times he’d told her about his car, his family’s boat, the size of his house, the list went on but the topic was always about him. The only thing he cared about when it came to her was her looks, especially her hair. 

She wasn't naïve, she knew that her hair was attractive to a lot of guys. It was usually the first thing people noticed about her since it was so long and bright, but Feanor was fixated on it and brought it up almost every time he saw her. She felt like she was some kind of fetish to him, so after hearing how ‘hot’ it made her or how ‘sexy’ and ‘unique’ it was for the tenth time, she was thoroughly annoyed and creeped out. He had never described it the way Kili just did; she could listen to him all day and had for the past week. 

At the end of the day, Feanor was a nuisance and a creep at his best and as much as she would like to tell him off or punch him in the face, she knew to pick her battles and he wasn't worth getting angry at or wasting her time over. He didn't matter to her and she had nothing in common with him so they didn’t run into each other that often outside of parties; today just happens to be her lucky day. As he fully recognized her and his squinting face behind the glass window grew into a grin, Tauriel immediately began to think of ways to get rid of him. Maybe if she just waved and smiled he would go away? 

Apparently not. He burst right through the door and came over to give her a hug that she didn’t get up to return, resulting in awkward grappling as he held her tight and she fought to make it seem like she wasn't completely repulsed.

“Taur, hey! I feel like I haven’t seen you since last semester!” he exclaimed after releasing her and his eyes roamed over her body. “You do something with your hair? It’s gotten even brighter! How have you been? Your classes been going okay?” His rapid-fire questions spewed out while he sat on the edge of the table, his fingers not so subtly curling tightly around the edge to increase the tension in his arms as the rest of his body comfortably relaxed above her. 

“I’ve been good,” she replied as politely as she could manage, “but you really should be quieter. We’re in the library, remember?”

“Oh right. Though it’s not like other people can hear us in the study rooms. So what are you up to? Are you tutoring now or something?”

“Actually, Kili is helping me out with some work.” She quickly looked over to Kili, who she realized was definitely more than a little uncomfortable. His arms were crossed in front of him as he leaned back in the chair, his shoulders were tense, and his features were tight. She mouthed to him ‘I’m so sorry!’ and while his shoulders dropped slightly, his expression remained firm and flat.

“Nice to meet ya, Kili. Name’s Feanor.”

“I know,” he answered. “We had two classes together last semester.” 

“Really? Sorry man. I don’t pay much attention in class.” He quickly turned back to Tauriel, ignoring the person he wasn’t going to bother trying to remember. “So Taur, what are you doing for spring break?” The question made Tauriel freeze as every potential response she had suddenly felt out of reach. She actually didn’t have any plans since Arwen was going on a trip with her boyfriend and she wasn’t about to spend spring break with her family, even if it did mean free food. She was planning on asking Kili what he was going to do, but if she said anything like that in front of Feanor, then he would try to drag both of them somewhere and she wasn't going to do that to Kili. It’s not like she can’t find her way out of this though. All she has to do is lie and tell him she has plans already so he’ll get off her back, but leave it open so Kili knows she’s not blowing him off. Easy.

“I’m still working out some personal plans,” she discreetly glanced over to Kili, unable to gauge his reaction, “but nothing’s set in stone yet.”

“Cool, cool. Well listen,” he leaned in, “when your plans do fall through, look me up. Me and some of the other guys and their girlfriends are heading to the beach for the week. You gotta come with us!” Her body tensed, annoyed by his arrogance, but her expression remained pleasant.

“I don't know if—”

“—Come on, you’ll have a blast! I promise!”

“That’s really nice of you Feanor, but I think I'm going to stick to my own plans. Thank you though.” She could almost feel the two men on either side of her drop their shoulders, one from disappointment, the other from relief; at least that’s what she hoped. 

“Bummer. Well, when we get back, I also gotta big pool party happening at my place the day before classes start back up. You gotta come to that at least.”

Holy shit. How many times did she have to reject him before he got the hint? She heard Kili shift in his chair beside her.

“Oh yeah, you too Kili!” Feanor added, suddenly acknowledging the additional presence in the room. “It's gonna be awesome and they’ll be plenty of hot chicks there.”

“Thanks for the invite, man.” Kili offered a smile that Feanor was too dense to tell was fake, but Tauriel knew. She had never heard Kili speak so flatly to anyone before. Five minutes ago, his voice had been as silvery as his tongue; the relaxed and happy tone had mesmerized her and rang in her ears when he laughed and spoke of her. Any hint of that had vanished now, replaced with short, monotone responses and silence. It was unsettling for her to hear a voice that was normally so cheerful, poetic and full of sarcasm to sound so… empty.

“Well thanks for stopping by and saying hi,” Tauriel shooed, eager to be rid of the frat boy beside her, “but we really need to get back to work.”

“Right! No worries, I get it. You get your stuff done and I’ll catch up with you later. Sound good?” he winked. She didn’t think that she ever wanted to punch him so hard in the entire time she’d known him. “Great… Really great.”

“Awesome. It was great to see you again. We’ll talk soon!” 

“Bye,” she forced out. He pushed off the table and quickly hugged her again before making his way out the door and closing it with an audible click behind him. Tauriel watched to make sure he wasn't waiting for her outside and as soon as he disappeared behind the corner, she buried her face into her arms as her head fell to the table with a heavy thud. She was so angry and embarrassed, she was sure even the tips of her ears were glowing red. “Oh Valar. Why?” she groaned, the sound echoing with frustration and fatigue.

“Well he was thrilled to see you,” Kili chuckled, life settling back into his speech. As relieved as she was at that, it didn't erase the horror that she felt that he had to witness Feanor’s painfully transparent display for her. “The guy was a drooling all over you like a puppy!”

“He follows me like one too,” Tauriel moaned before she sat up. “I can’t get rid of him.”

“He’s quite the charmer, like some sort of oblivious peacock. I bet he like, get’s ten times more babes than I do,” he mocked and she let out a small laugh. “Should I go catch up with him and ask him for some tips?”

“Dear Valar, please don’t!” she begged. “I’m so sorry that happened. He’s an idiot who thinks with the wrong head. Please ignore him.”

“Haha! I don’t know if I can. I can still hear him down the hall proclaiming his undying love for you.”

“No! Stop!” She prepared to hit him again, but he had the biggest grin on his stupid face, and she had to smile back just like she always did. “Ugh. He hits on me all the time and always asks me to go to parties with him, but no matter how many times I tell him no, he just doesn't get the message! No thanks. No dating for me.”

“Why not?” His voice didn't hold any humor and she looked back at him confused and a little concerned.

“What?”

“I don’t mean specifically him, he’s obviously a dumbass, but I’ve seen other people asking you out before. Why don’t you date any of them?” Her mouth hung like a waving flag. She had not expected this topic to come up when she met up with him today. Were they actually about to have this conversation? Where was this going to lead? Where did he want this to lead? He quickly backed off. "I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, you’re fine. I um…” She took a second to swallow, surprised at how dry her mouth had become. “I do have people ask me out, I just… I haven’t found anyone I really want to seriously date. You know?”

“Yeah,” he answered.

For some reason, with just that single syllable, she actually believed he understood what she meant. “What about you? I never asked if you have a girlfriend.”

“How do you know I’m even straight?” he asked cocking his eyebrow; she only recently figured out that it was his tell that he was teasing her.

“I don’t. Why? Are you offended that I made the assumption?”

“Nah. I’ve tried dating some of the girls on campus before. Nothing’s really stuck for long.”

“Well you’ve still got two years left before you graduate. Who knows who you’ll meet.”

“Speaking of graduation, you need to do well on this assignment if you want to pass the class,” he reminded her as he tapped the paper in front of her. “Back to work.” 

She rolled her eyes and looked back down at her list. It took her longer than it should have, but it wasn’t exactly easy to shift her mindset from first Feanor walking in and then Kili asking about her love life. What was with the sudden interest anyways? “Alright, finished.”

“Good. So,” he folded her paper in half and showed her the blank side. “I want you to write down ten emotions or feelings. Joy, anger, hate, whatever. Forget about your first list.” She gave him a strange look but did as he said. “I want you to pair up the emotions with an object. Don’t go for an obvious one like,” he looked down at her paper. “Knife and hate. Make odd combinations like dress and confusion. They don’t have to be mismatched, just make sure every word has a feeling. When you’re done, pick the one you like.” Once she finished, she picked a random pair of words and circled it.

“Okay,” she sighed. “I’m still not sure where you’re going with this.”

“Trust me,” he promised. “Now are you certain of your choice? You like that one the best?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Okay then. I want you to write about that object, as a person, feeling that specific emotion.”

“How the hell am I suppose to do that?”

“I can’t do everything for you Tauriel!” Kili laughed as he stretched and put his hands behind his head. “This is your assignment remember.”

“That’s not fair Kili. You have to give me more than that. The paper is due in a few days!”

“Well it’s what you’re going to have to work with for now,” he said as he gathered his things. “I’ve gotta get to class.” 

Tauriel looked at the clock on the wall and realized that they had been in the small room talking and working for hours now. “Can’t you skip it?” she begged.

“The only class I can afford to skip is creative writing! My grades aren’t as good as yours, remember?” Tauriel frowned, not wanting him to go yet. He let out a sigh while placing his palms flat on the table as he faced her. Tauriel didn’t even realize until it was too late that she found herself focusing on his mouth as he leaned in closer, reducing the distance between them. “Look, come up with a few drafts and we can look over them at the gym. I promise.” 

It was starting to annoy her now; how every time he smiled at her she had to crack one of her own. It was a nice smile though. “Fine. Go to your stupid class. I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.” She waved him off and watched his back until he was out of sight, leaving her alone in the quiet room with nothing but her paper to write. How the hell was she supposed to turn her favorite hand-carved bow into a person who was in love? She took a deep breath and attempted to map out how to move forward. 

She figured it might be easier to make the bow female since she had a female perspective, so going off of that, she’ll make the archer male. That was a start at least. As she scribbled down any idea she could think of, she began to walk through the steps of firing and arrow. 

The first step is to determine your dominant eye. Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When holding a bow, you want to hold it tight so it doesn’t fly out of your hands, but gentle so you don’t choke it. So she wants to be held and taken care of but still wants to breathe and have freedom. Obvious enough. Notching the arrow is a connection, like holding hands. When you draw a bow you bring the string closer to you. She wants to be close to the person she loves. The string is made out of fibers and threads. So playing with the string could be playing with her hair? Before you fire the arrow, it must be anchored to the cheek the chin or… 

Tauriel’s writing paused for a second before she continued to write ‘the corner of the mouth’. Anchoring is a kiss. When was the last time she had been kissed? Not like a casual hello or a meaningless make out at a party, but really kissed? She shook her head and attempted to focus again. A bow is a weapon, made to attack or hunt, but that didn’t seem to fit. Then again weapons were also used to protect. The bow protects the archer so long as the archer tends to and maintains the bow.

Maybe this would be easier than she thought. Taking a quick glance at her notes and taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and began to create a movie in her mind. 

She became the bow, leaning and resting against a wall, while the archer was standing before her. His eyes looked straight into hers as he approached. He took her hand and pulled her into him, wrapping himself around her tight enough so he could keep her close, but gentle enough so she knew that she could leave if she wanted to. She didn’t want to. The archer ran his fingers through her hair, the locks twisting around his fingertips and as Tauriel thought this, she found herself rolling her head around searching for the pressure of the phantom hand. The archer brought his hands to her cheek, carefully tracing her jawline before his fingers rested under her chin and when he slowly brought his lips up to hers, she could feel it. She could feel every emotion. 

She wanted to protect this man from anything that would dare to harm him and she wanted him to feel it too. She wanted to keep him as close as he was keeping her. She wanted to prove her loyalty and always strike true. She wanted him to know that he could trust her, rely on her always. She could feel how much the archer wanted to take care of her, how much he loved her. She wanted him to love her. She wanted him. She heard the archer whisper her name against her lips and she trembled. 

“Kili,” she gasped out and she opened her eyes with a start; now back in the small study room all alone. Her heart was racing and she looked around to see if anyone had seen her through the window. 

What the hell just happened to her? Was that a daydream or did she actually fall asleep? It felt so real. She brought her hand to her mouth, fingertips brushing against her warm cheeks, and tried process what she just imagined. 

The archer in her mind wasn’t some stranger, and the voice that whispered in her ear came with a smile brighter than the sun. She could feel his arms around her waist, his fingers in her hair, his hair against her cheek, and now he was the only one she could imagine ever kissing like that. She smiled to herself as she realized that the next few days, and especially then next few hours, were going to be hell for her because she was falling for that archer.

She was falling for Kili and didn’t know what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know next to nothing about Feanor so I'm sorry if I kind of misrepresent him here lol. Anyways, thank you so much to everyone who has left kudos and comments and thanks to everyone who's even just looked at this fic to give it a chance! I'm really glad people are enjoying it already and I hope you like where the story goes :D


	8. Just Add Ink - Kili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does switch perspectives in the middle of it so just be ready!

“Ki, you've seemed kinda off the last few days. You alright?” Fili asked. Kili knew that this question was coming, in fact, he had been dreading it, and now that he was in the car with Fili, he couldn't escape. The truth was, he wasn't okay. It was finally the weekend and spring break had officially started which now meant two things. One, Tauriel's assignment was finished and turned in so they had no reason to hang out together anymore, and two, now that he didn't have class for over a week, he wasn't going to see her at all. Not that he was planning to. After all, at the library she said she was making plans and as far as he was concerned, they didn't involve him. 

But that's not what was bothering him the most because he wasn't the only one who had been off for the past few days. Tauriel had started acting strangely around him ever since she had started the final draft of her paper. She was quieter and kept getting distracted by her own thoughts, but wouldn’t say what they were. She said that she was just nervous about turning her paper in and he could understand that, though he believed she was actually more worried about the content than the grade itself. She had been hesitant to show him her poem and with good reason; probably didn't want him getting any ideas from reading it. If he were a selfish man, he would have assumed that she had written that for him, a confession practically begging him to jump her, but he knew better. They'd been hanging out together for almost two weeks now, but friends were all they were, and they couldn't become anything more.

“Yeah Fi. I’m fine,” he lied.

Fili parked the car and turned to his brother. “It's Tauriel isn't it?” Kili didn't answer and the sound of the engine shutting off only added to the silence. “Come on, Bro. I know you're upset you have to break things off with her, but the timing is actually really good right now. Now that it’s spring break, you won't see her for a while and you can get some space between you. Plus now I finally get to spend some time with you.”

“Is that why you're dragging me to the coffee shop with you? Just to hang out?” 

“First of all, we haven’t just hung out in weeks because of your stupid project and all your other classes.”

“Well excuse me for getting an education.” He got out and closed the car door and as Fili stuffed his keys into his pocket, the two of them began to make their way towards the café.

“And second, you know that's not why. Ever since Smaug came by, I've had a bad feeling. And since Uncle Thorin is still hiding out—”

“You decided it was too much for you to handle alone and you called me for back up. I mean I can't blame you for asking me for help; I’m quite flattered actually.”

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” The two of them walked into the fairly busy shop, quickly scanning the room for anyone out of the ordinary. Kili thought everything looked pretty normal, but he also wasn't quite sure what he was looking for. Fili had been vague about the whole situation and had only told Kili about Smaug a few days ago. So now what was he suppose to do? Just sit around this shop and looked for creepy guys hiding in the corner? It wasn’t like their uncle had told them to do this. There was no goal, no objective, no target, so what was the point?

“Fili!” A voice called out and Kili nearly jumped. He looked over and saw a female barista with brown hair happily waving at the two of them. The excited smile on her face told him that she and Fili had far more than a casual relationship.

“Sigrid! Hey!” Fili answered. Kili couldn't help but notice how his brother somehow completely forgot about him and made an immediate b-line for the young woman with a smile of his own. “I didn't know you were working today.”

“Normally I don't, but I had to pick up Tilda early from school since its spring break and drop her off here. There wasn’t anything else for me to do and things were getting a little busy so I decided to help out. Da’s actually out picking up Bain now. He should be back soon though.” Kili followed behind his brother until they were standing beside each other. This girl was pretty and obviously liked Fili, so why hadn’t he heard about her before? And why was Fili so friendly with her? “Oh. Is this your brother?”

“Yeah. Kili, this is Sigrid. Sigrid, Kili.”

“It's nice to meet you Kili!” she smiled enthusiastically as she shook his hand. It clicked then once Kili heard her name, and he began to realize just what was really going on. So this is how his brother was going to be behind his back? After just criticizing him for doing the exact same thing? Well, two can play at that game. 

“Please, the pleasure is all mine. Fili’s been keeping you a secret from me it seems.” Kili did his best not to wince when his brother stepped on his toes.

“Oh. I mean, there’s really not much to talk about when it comes to me,” she said and gave an embarrassed smile. “I just bring him his coffee. He talks about you all the time though. So what are you guys doing here?”

“Kili is on spring break too,” Fili interrupted before Kili could open his mouth again. “We’ve got some free time to hang out for once so we thought we’d take advantage of it.”

“That sounds really nice,” she mused. Kili gave his brother a sideways glance, but Sigrid didn’t seem to notice. Oh yes, he knew what was going on. “Well can I get you guys anything to drink?” 

“Tea for me please,” Kili asked.

“Got it. And your usual Fili?” His brother nodded. “Alright. I'll be right back.”

Kili made sure the girl was far enough away before leaning on the counter and turning to his brother with the smuggest grin he could manage.“You dirty bastard."

Fili glared back, confused and offended. “Excuse me?” 

“You are such a hypocrite, you know that? So what, I can't spend time with the Chief of Police’s daughter, but you can be all cute with the ex-lawyers daughter?”

“It's not like that and you know it. I'm watching out for her family now that Smaug is back.”

“Bullshit. You know her too well to just be playing bodyguard because Smaug showed up one time. At least Tauriel can fight and has connections to the police so she can protect herself. You're putting her family in danger.”

“Which is exactly why I'm sticking around, to protect her- them,” Fili defended. “Our situations are different and you know it.”

“How?”

“If Thranduil finds out, the entire company and our lives are at risk. If Bard finds out…”

“He’ll be a-okay with his daughter hanging out with the heir to that same company and putting their lives at risk by dragging them back into a mess they thought they had escaped years ago?” Kili finished. “Oh, yes. That’s so much better.”

“That’s not going to happen. Not if I—”

“Just stop. No one plans for bad shit to happen to them; the Bowman’s sure didn’t ask for Smaug to come into their lives and fuck it all up. You getting involved just makes them a bigger target.”

Fili straightened his back and squared his shoulders so he was just towering over his little brother who remained relaxed against the counter; he was used to his brother’s ‘mom mode’. “Ki, you are introducing one of Uncle’s greatest enemies into our lives, I’m trying to stop one of his greatest enemies from hurting someone who is already involved. They are in no more danger than they were before I started spending time with Sigrid.”

“Gee, I wonder how Thorin would feel about that?” 

“If Uncle found out, you and I both know he’d be more pissed at you.”

Kili rolled his eyes. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that. You can rationalize this all you want, but the fact is that you’re keeping Sigrid close for the same reasons you're telling me to push Tauriel away.”

“Back again I see Fili?” The two brothers turned around and found Bard walking in followed by a young boy who was unmistakably his son. “Should I be offering you a job?”

“Why? Are you hiring?” Fili joked as he let the tension in his shoulders slip away. “Cause if that's the case give the job to this one so he’ll stop bleeding me dry.” 

“Hey! I barely ever borrow money from you, and you're the one who comes here often enough to know the owner.”

“Ha, ha! Don't worry about it. I've got enough free hands with these guys around,” Bard laughed as he rustled his son’s hair. “But if we do have an opening you’ll be the first to know.”

“Da, come on,” Bain whined. “Not in front of other people!”

“You must be Fili’s brother,” Bard reached his hand out towards Kili. “I’m Bard.”

“Kili,” he replied shaking the man’s hand. “This is a nice shop you have.”

“We do our best. And it's nice to have the kids help out. And speaking of,” he turned his attention to Fili again. “I want to personally thank you again for helping Sigrid out. She’s doing a lot better.”

“Of course,” Fili replied. “Sigrid’s a great girl.” Kili tried to catch his brother’s gaze, but Fili was refusing to look at him. Whatever had happened between Fili and Bard’s daughter, Kili had been left out of the loop, again.

Sigrid returned to the counter and smiled. “Here's your tea and your- oh Da you're back!”

“Da’s back?” A new voice echoed. Everyone looked passed the bearded brothers to see a smaller version of Sigrid with a rounder face and long braided hair coming out from behind the counter. She ran straight between Kili and Fili over to her father.

“Tilda!” Sigrid called out. “Watch out for the customers! I’m sorry Fili, Kili.”

“It’s no trouble,” Fili smiled.

“Wait!” Tilda stopped dead in her tracks and turned back to the brothers. “Which one of you is Fili?”

“That would be the blond one who looks like Thor with a ponytail here,” Kili smiled as he nudged Fili. He barely heard his brother tell him to watch it, but why would he? Not only was he getting payback, but he was having too much fun to stop now. It wasn’t often he felt like he had something over his brother and no matter how mad he was, he wasn’t going to miss this chance. Kili couldn't help but laugh as Tilda began to inspect Fili up and down as if she were measuring or scanning him like some sort of machine. This trip was turning out to be more entertaining than he’d anticipated.

“Yeah,” Tilda said with her finger resting on her chin quizzically. “I can see it.”

“See what dare I ask?” Fili worried.

“Sig talks about you all the time. She said—”

“Tilda!” Sigrid shouted, cutting her sister off. Kili watched his brother put on a cocky grin and Sigrid blush at her sudden outburst. He was starting to wish this shop sold popcorn. “What was it you wanted to ask Da?”

“Oh! Da, can you drive me to the mall so I can meet up with my friends?”

“I’m sorry sweetheart, but I can’t,” her father frowned.

“Why not? It’s a Friday and it’s finally spring break for crying out loud!”

Bain spoke up. “Da’s gotta take me to my guitar lesson in an hour." 

“But I already told them I'd be there!” the young girl whined.

“Ya shoulda thought to ask Da before you told them then!”

“Sigrid can take me right?” Tilda’s eyes were wide with hope.

“How?” Bard asked. “I’m taking the only car we have.”

“I can take her, Sir.” Everyone looked to Fili who had spoken up. Kili was starting to think he should have his ears checked.

“Fili, that’s very kind of you, but I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Of course you could!” Tilda chirped. “Sig trusts him so you can too. Please, Da?”

“It’s really no trouble, Sir,” Fili continued.

Sigrid frowned. “But I thought you were going to be spending time with Kili today."

“Don’t worry,” Kili twisted to face her. “I was already planning on sticking around here for today. You know, keeping an eye on things.” He winked at her and a flash of understanding appeared on Sigrid’s face. Her quick glance at her father told him that Bard understood as well. Sure Fili was being an ass to him about this whole situation with Tauriel, but that didn’t mean he had to be a total ass right back. 

“Are you sure you’re comfortable doing this?” Bard asked Fili, though the question seemed to be directed to both of the brothers.

“I’m happy to,” he said. “What about you Tilda? Are you okay with me driving you?”

“Yes! Please, Da! Can I go?” the little girl begged.

“Alright, alright,” Bard finally caved. “But I want you to take Sigrid with you. I don’t want you wandering around the mall by yourself.” Kili wanted nothing more than to get a snapshot of his brother’s face right now. He had never seen his older brother look like a leaf could knock him over.

“But Da,” Sigrid interjected. “Don’t you need me to work here?”

“You’re already extra hands here today Sig. Rose is here and by the time I get out of here with your brother the shifts will have changed. You deserve some time off anyway.” 

Kili clapped his hands together. “That settles it then! I’ll take this,” he picked his tea up off the counter, "and I’m going to go find myself a seat. You guys go have some fun.”

“Do you have your bus pass, Ki?” Fili asked. “Just in case I’m not back to pick you up.” 

Kili pulled his pass out of his back pocket and flashed it for his brother to see. “Get out of here you crazy kids. It was nice to meet all of you." He turned away, shifting the bag on his shoulder, and searched for just the right spot to sit down.

After watching the Bowman family interact, Kili could understand why Fili wanted to protect them so much. As much as he hated to admit it, Fili was right. They already had targets on their backs and he really was doing the right thing by keeping an eye on them. Tauriel however, wasn’t connected and it was selfish of him to want to be with her, to not only jeopardize his family but to put her in harm's way. Shaking his head of her, he situated himself in a spot near a window, shrugged off his old gray hoodie, plugged in his music, and began to sketch. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there, but Bard and his son had left a while ago. He looked up every once in a while just to check his surroundings, new people around him every time he raised his head. Everyone pretty much left him alone except for the occasional passerby who glanced at his drawing and sometimes even complimented his work, though none of them knew it was Tauriel he was drawing again.

Was it so wrong for him to have feelings for her? Why did his life suddenly feel like a tragic play? How the hell was he suppose to get over someone who made him feel like he didn’t want to be alone? Someone who made him happy? She was beautiful and elegant, she was strong and skilled, she was passionate and brave.

She was there, standing in front of him. 

From across the room, he watched her turn and make eye contact with him and her face lit up at the sight of him. This had to be providence right? He had just been begging the world to see her again and now she was here.

“Kili!” she grinned. He slid his headphones off his head and stood up to meet her as she ran over to him, carefully maneuvering through the tables and other people walking by. She had run over so quickly, she almost knocked him over with a hug that he wasn’t expecting. “I almost didn’t recognize you without your hoodie on! I’m so happy to see you!”

“It’s nice to see you too Tauriel,” he laughed. “And not that I don’t appreciate it, but what’s with the enthusiastic greeting? I’m pretty sure we saw each other a few days ago.”

“I know, I know, but I just wanted to see you so badly!” she said breathlessly as she let him go.

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Professor Elrond emailed me today! He knew that I was struggling with the assignment and that you were tutoring me so he read my paper early. I got an A, Kili! I did it!”

“Tauriel that’s amazing!” He quickly embraced her again, pulling her tight into his chest. Even with their height difference, he felt they just… fit together. His head resting in the crook of her neck, hers bending down so her lips were by his ear… “I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you so much Kili,” she said into his neck as she squeezed him back. “I can’t believe I did it!”

“Well I knew you could. What did Professor Elrond say about it?” She quickly sat down across from him and set her bag down while Kili did his best to discreetly cover his sketches of her. 

“He said that he could feel the emotion behind my writing that he hadn’t seen until now. He could tell that I was writing not to complete the assignment, but because I had something to say. I couldn’t have done this without you, Kili. Thank you so much.” 

His heart skipped a beat when she reached out and took his hand. “It was all you Tauriel, no need to thank me.”

“But you’re the one who pushed me. You gave me the confidence to actually express myself in a way I hadn’t done before. You helped me out so much. I really owe you.”

“I am pretty great aren’t I?” he joked as he offered a sarcastic grin. “Please feel freed to continue to praise me; keep telling me how amazing I am!”

“You’re a talented artist and you know a lot about what you love,” she continued without skipping a beat. “You’re really funny and thoughtful and kind.”

Kili gave a weak laugh. “Tauriel, come on. I wasn’t being serious.”

“You’re writing is so beautiful it makes me want to cry,” she continued, her expression drifting from energized and happy to honest and sweet. “You’re a really good listener and you always know just what to say when I’m sad, or frustrated, or angry.” 

Kili looked back at her blankly. What was she doing?

“I can’t help but smile when I see you smile. You’re handsome and strong and a kick-ass fighter. You’re adventurous and loud, a little cocky, but always sincere.”

Where was she going with this?

“You always put other people before yourself, even if it makes things more difficult for you. You sacrifice the things that you love for your family because you want to take care of them.”

He should stop her.

“You’re so important to me Kili. You make me feel happy, like I can be myself around you. You really mean so much to me.” He sat there in stunned silence as she finished. Where had that come from? Why had she said those things about him? He looked into her eyes and only saw sincerity. She meant what she was saying and wasn’t holding anything back. She was bearing her soul to him. His mind was buzzing, his heart was fighting to get out of his chest, his ears were ringing with the sound of her voice. He was so taken back by her confession, he barely felt her squeeze his hand; he had forgotten she was even holding it. 

“Tauriel I…”

“You’d said such wonderful things to me before,” she blushed. “I figured I should repay you.” 

So that’s all this was. She was paying him back; a compliment for a compliment. This wasn’t a confession; it was respect for him. He had gotten his hopes up when he knew he shouldn’t have, but regardless of if she meant what she said as friends or not, she had meant it. It didn’t matter if they could never be anything more than they were now because she was in his life and that’s all he could ask for. “Thank you Tauriel. You mean a lot to me too.” He looked down and smiled to himself, feeling happier than he had in a long time.

“Hey, what’s that on your arm?” she asked. The world halted to a stop around him and he could no longer hear the chatter of the café around him; he couldn’t hear anything. His thoughts were no longer fuzzy and soft, he felt the warmth drain from his hands, he thought that the floor had disappeared beneath him.

He wasn’t wearing his hoodie. His t-shirt didn’t cover it completely.

“What’s on my arm?” Kili asked as he looked at his forearm, trying to delay the inevitable, distract her, lie to her, anything.

“On your right shoulder? Is that a tattoo?”

No. Please no. Things were perfect a moment ago. Why? “Perhaps.” He tried to smile, tried to keep himself calm.

“You never told me you had one.”

“You never asked.”

“Can I see it?”

Please Mahal, no. “If you want.” She ran her fingers up his arm, her fingertips brushing against his skin in a long torturous way, and pushed the fabric up and around his shoulder. He watched her face snap from playful and curious… to shock. It was all over now. She knows now. She knows who he is, and now she’d hate him.

“Wow,” she gulped with forced enthusiasm. “What is it?”

“A variation of my family crest. Fili and my uncle have ones too, but they uh… look a bit different from mine,” he swallowed. She slowly ran her fingers over the angular patterns that covered the outside of his arm as if she were studying them, memorizing them. How ironic for his demise to end in such a pleasant way. He watched her fascinated look as she brushed her hair behind her ear, her fingers lingering in the copper threads.

“How long have you had it?” she asked. He could hear something in her voice, something other than simple curiosity. Desperation maybe? She needed to know the answer.

“I got it around the time I turned sixteen,” he replied. She furrowed her brow as if calculating something in her mind. He looked away, unable to keep eye contact any longer, and then immediately regretted leaving her gaze. Looking back at him from the other side of the room was the Chief of Police, Tauriel’s legal father.

Thranduil stood poised and proud like a king, which he might as well be to this city. He wasn’t in his uniform, but his tight suit and strong jaw showed all the authority he needed to. His expression was blank, his mouth a flat line, but his eyes spoke volumes. They were angry, unwilling to accept, and unwilling to forgive.

“Two words,” his eyes said to Kili’s. “Take your pick of them. Back off. You’re garbage. Stay away. Go now. You’re shit. Give up. Leave her. I don’t care which you choose, but heed them.” Kili broke away from Thranduil’s glare, the words still ringing silently in his mind, and he moved away from Tauriel’s warm touch. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? You okay?” Tauriel asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Tauriel.” He didn’t continue for a moment, for once at a loss for word. “I’ve enjoyed every day I’ve spent with you and I will always remember them. You are an amazing person, and you mean so much to me.” It hurt for him to speak. “But we can’t see each other anymore.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean?” Her expression was light with a laugh and a confused smile. She probably thought he was joking. When he didn’t answer right away, fear and anger, but most of all hurt began to creep into her gaze. He was hurting her, he had to so she would leave, and that was hurting him. He needed to end this quickly and get out of here.

“I mean that this is the last time we’re going to speak to each other. Things are too complicated between us and it would be better if we just stopped now.”

“What are you talking about? Nothing’s ever been complicated between us. What happened, Kili?” Her voice cracked at his name. “What’s wrong? You’re not making any sense.”

Kili quickly grabbed his things and stuffed them in his bag, not worried if any of his papers or drawings were getting crumpled and ruined. “I need to go.” 

“Kili stop!” she ordered. “What the hell? You can’t just say things are complicated and then walk away without explaining anything. What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry,” he said as he stood up. “But I have to leave.”

“Kili talk to me!” she gasped. He could see the tears just starting to prick at her eyes as she grabbed his arm, desperate not to let him go. “Just tell me what’s wrong and we’ll fix it. You can trust me; you know that! Don’t walk away from me!”

“I have to,” he said flatly.

“I don’t understand,” she murmured. “Why are you doing this? What are you shutting me out?”

“Wait a minute,” he said, no longer able to look at her. “You’ll understand soon enough.” He began to step away, but he felt her pull on his arm again.

“Kili please!” Her voice unexpectedly lets out a raw rasp, but Kili continued his stride, shaking her off without saying goodbye. He weaved around the empty tables and didn’t look back at her as he continued towards the exit; towards Thranduil.

“Wise decision. Make sure you don’t make the same mistake twice,” the chief warned as Kili passed him.

“Understood, Sir,” Kili replied. He walked out the door, bus pass in hand, and finally let the tears surface in his eyes. That was it. It was all over. Everyone else had finally gotten what they wanted. He had lost her, given her up, set her free, abandoned her, and he wasn’t getting her back. She would hate him forever now, he was sure. The moment she recognized his Durin crest he knew it was over and now it was back to the way things were; quiet, sad, and alone.

## Just Add Ink cont. - Tauriel

Tauriel sat in a daze, unable to understand what just happened. Well, there was a simple answer: he was rejecting her. She had poured her heart out to him, something that she was so terrified to do, and he said that they couldn’t speak to each other anymore. No, that wasn’t right. He didn’t simply reject her; he was telling her that they couldn't even see each other again. Why couldn’t they interact anymore? What happened to make him say that? Something wasn't right. Maybe his uncle had gotten to him, or something was wrong with his brother, but he wasn’t telling her everything; he wasn’t telling her anything. 

Was it something to do with his tattoo? She’d recognized those patterns, remembered them from years ago, had hoped and prayed to find them one day again, had sought them out for years, but if he remembered like she did… no, that couldn’t be right. If he had really remembered, he wouldn’t have left her like this. There was something he was hiding and it was hurting him. She needed to go chase him down. She can’t let it end like this.

Just as she moved to get up, a man in a suit came and sat across from her where Kili had just been. His short blond hair was brushed back and while his expression was flat, she could still see the dissatisfied gleam in his eyes. He crossed his legs and looked back at her, his long fingers tapping on the table in a slow, methodical rhythm. Kili’s words echoed in her mind.

 _Wait a minute. You’ll understand soon enough._ And sure enough, she was beginning to piece together just what had happened.

“You?” she asked her voice practically a sob, but he didn’t respond. She looked behind her to where he could have possibly been standing before and an anger like a storm began to swell up inside of her. “ _You!_ ”

“Mind your temper,” he said, his voice low and even, full of authority and pride. “Remember that we are in public.”

“You did this! You made him leave!”

“I did nothing of the sort. He made the correct decision and I allowed him to.”

“The correct deci- he practically ran out of here! What did you say to him?”

“As I said, I did nothing to instigate his decision to abandon you. That was of his own volition.” Tauriel couldn’t believe Thranduil had done this to her, again. He had always been like this, hiding things from her, controlling her life from behind the scenes only for her to find out that he had done so when it was too late. He claimed that he only did so to protect her, to give her everything that she rightly deserved, but it was never what she wanted. She felt like a puppet under his fingers. She thought that after she had moved out that she would finally be free, but no matter how many times she cut the strings, she always found herself tangled in more.

“You just can't stay out of my life, can you? You want me to stay by your side forever like Legolas. Just get this through your head already: You are not my father and you can't control me anymore. I am making my own decisions.” She quickly began to gather up her things to go after Kili.

“Sit down Tauriel,” he ordered. “We have things to discuss.”

“I don't want to listen to _anything_ you have to say to me,” she hissed.

“I may not be your real father, but I did raise you and last time I checked, I taught you to respect authority.”

“Yeah, but somewhere along the line I learned that the people who have authority are pieces of shit sometimes. Thanks for proving my point.” 

“I have rules for you Tauriel,” he added. “For you and for Legolas that I thought you understood, but clearly you need a reminder.”

“Rules?” she laughed. “I am twenty-three now Thranduil! I live in my own apartment and take care of myself. What power do your rules have over me? Why should they be of any concern of mine?”

“They are of _my_ concern when you break them.” Tauriel stared at him. What was he talking about? She hasn't broken any of his stupid rules. “Do you even know who that boy is?”

“He’s a classmate! What does that have to do with—”

“Do you even know who his family is? Any of his friends?” Tauriel thought for a moment and realized that Kili never really spoke about anybody in his family other than his mom or brother, but what did that matter? She had hidden her family and friends from him too, at least for a little while.

“That has nothing to do with who he—”

“If you are going to be a lawyer, you really do need to improve upon your investigative skills and truly know the people you are going to interact with.”

“I’m done with this. I’m getting out of here and—”

“He’s a Durin, Tauriel.” Thranduil’s voice was quiet but the echo of his words boomed in her ears. 

“N-No he’s not,” her voice stumbled. “His last name is Eriador. He’s not a—” 

“His real name is Kili Durin and he changed it so he could stay in school. He and his brother are the nephews of Thorin Durin-Oakenshield and the heirs of Erebor Gold and Jewelry.” Tauriel dropped back into her seat. He was lying. Thranduil was just lying to make her listen to him. It couldn't be true. Kili wasn't a Durin. Thranduil had told her stories of them. The Durins owned the biggest precious gem trading company in the world. Thranduil had told her how they were essentially a high-class gang of thugs and criminals at war with another gang in the city. They were manipulative, greedy, self-absorbed, selfish, heartless… killers. Kili couldn't be a Durin.

“You’re lying,” she whispered. “I don't believe you.”

“I assure you that I am telling you the truth and in failing to investigate him like you should have, you broke my rule to stay away from known criminals.”

“Kili isn’t a criminal!”

“Regardless of whether or not he has an official record, he alone has been the suspect in over a dozen gang-related cases and his brother twice as many. Fortunately, he now seems to understand that he needs to stay away from you. His family is too dangerous to be around anyone.”

“So what, he’s protecting me?”

“The Durins are incapable of protecting anyone. They are selfish and greedy and arrogant thugs. They don't care about anyone but themselves and their company. If it weren't for them and their pride, Azog and the Gundabad gang wouldn't even be a presence in this city.”

“Azog would still exist even if the Durins didn’t. The only reason he’s still here is because he hasn’t been killed and because you aren’t doing your damn job!” she growled at him. Thranduil only glared at her and shifted in his seat. “You think that I don’t know? That I haven’t heard? You've never cared about stopping Azog, you just don't want him here so you can look good and not have any crime in the city. You’re just biding your time so you don’t have to get your hands dirty! I remember Thranduil. I remember you talking years ago, begging that Azog and the Durins would just run off to another city or simpler yet, just kill each other so you could be rid of them. You don’t care about me, just who I spend my time with. You just don’t want to look bad while push your own damn agenda.”

“This is not about me,” he responded in a cold, controlled voice. “This is about you. The Durins are dangerous and I will not have you put your life in jeopardy. Kili understands this, perhaps you should do the same.” Thranduil rose from his chair slowly and walked away, leaving Tauriel alone at the table in shock.


	9. Fair is Fair - Fili

Something wasn't sitting right with Fili. He knew that nothing dangerous was really there, yet he kept looking over his shoulder just in case. He wasn’t even worried about being at the mall with both of Bard’s daughters out in the open; no way would he let anything happen to them. It was actually Kili who was occupying his thoughts. He didn’t think his brother was it trouble or anything, but he knew that Tauriel was still on his mind. He wanted to be there for Kili, but that would have to be a conversation for another time; his priority right now was Sigrid and her sister.

Tilda was chatting with her friends and looking at clothes while Fili and Sigrid sat on a bench not far away, co-chaperoning and not willing to be caught dead in the pre-pubescent clothing store. Sigrid had changed from her uniform into much more casual clothes and had let her hair down for the first time around Fili. It was different for him to see her like this, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. 

“Is everything alright Fili?” Sigrid asked, interrupting him from his thoughts. She didn’t look at him and instead watched each person that passed them, suspicious of everyone’s actions. “You've been pretty quiet.”

“I'm fine Sigrid, and I promise that you are too,” he assured her. “You can relax. I’m looking over my shoulder so you don't have to.” She blushed, embarrassed at her actions.

“I know. I trust you Fili, but I don't believe that nothing is wrong. You’ve been spacing out a bit. Is something else bothering you?” Fili couldn't help but laugh at her perceptiveness.

“You caught that huh?”

“When you work with people all day, you get pretty good at reading others, and yeah I haven’t known you that long, but I like to think we know each other well enough that I can tell when something’s upsetting you.” 

“I’d say you can,” he smiled at her. “It's nothing really, or at least there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just worried about my brother.”

“Oh I'm so sorry Tilda made you bring her here! I feel terrible about making you leave him behind.”

“Hey, I’m the one who offered to take her. Don't you apologize for anything, and Kili was fine with it, I promise.”

“Is everything okay with him?”

“Sort of. He’s just having girl problems.”

“Ah!” Sigrid giggled as she relaxed. “That certainly _is_ something to be worried about. What's the problem? Unrequited love?”

“No, I'm pretty sure it's requited,” Fili laughed. “That’s actually sort of the problem. Things are just really complicated.”

“Have you guys talked to anyone about it? Like your friends or your mom?”

“Valar no!” he laughed. “If she knew that either of us liked anyone, she’d be on the first plane home!”

“Well then, maybe you'd like a female’s perspective?” she offered. Fili thought for a moment. He certainly couldn't tell her everything without scaring her. If Sigrid knew that the Gundabad was out for his whole family and that simply being with anyone in the Durin family was dangerous, especially himself, she’d never want to see him again. Still, she might be able to give some valuable advice.

“Like I said, there's not much that can be done.”

“I'd still like to try to help. I'm all ears.”

“Well, Kili's been hanging out with this girl for a couple weeks and I can tell he really likes her. He doesn't seem to think she feels the same way, but I've met her and I can tell that she does. He wants to be able to hang out with her more, but pretty soon he’s going to have to cut ties with her.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Things are… tense between her family and ours to say the least.”

“Tense how? You don't have to tell me,” she quickly added. “I don't mean to pry.” 

“Let's just say our families aren’t too fond of each other and he doesn't want to put her in between that.”

“He wants to protect her.”

“Pretty much,” he shrugged. “But because of that, he kind of lied to her about something important that he knows she won't be happy to find out about. On top of it all, it's really just bad timing with the way things are going with the rest of our family right now.” He sat quietly as he watched her think. Her brow furrowed as she considered everything she heard and Fili couldn't help but smile at her odd expression.

“I think I understand. I do have a few questions though.”

“And those are?”

“Do _you_ think they should be together?” she asked as she leaned into his shoulder. 

“I don't think it'd be a good idea for them to get involved with each other. Especially with her family and—”

“That's not what I asked,” she cut him off. “Forget your family. Forget hers. Just think about your brother. Do you think it would be good for him to be in a relationship with her?” Fili was silent as he looked down at his hands. He hadn't really asked himself this question yet.

“Honestly, I haven't seen him so happy in a long time. I don’t know much about her, but she seems nice enough and could really be good for Kili; maybe help him come out of his shell a bit.”

“Then you should make sure that you let him know. I’m sure he would appreciate the support.”

“Whether I support him or not, it doesn't really change the whole family situation. I really don’t see our families ever getting along.” 

“How very Romeo and Juliet,” she jested. Fili stopped himself from sighing, she didn't know how spot on she was. He looked back at her when she started to laugh. “What's so funny?”

“It's just… the last time I checked, your families weren't the ones trying to date each other; your brother and this girl were. Family’s important, don't get me wrong, but they shouldn't be what prevent two people from being together.” Fili smiled, feeling as if she was almost talking about themselves as well, but he quickly discarded the thought.

“That's true,” he agreed. “But she’ll probably still be mad about him lying to her.”

“Even if it was to protect her?”

“Definitely.” Thranduil hated them and there was no way he didn't pass that hate onto his children, biological or not.

“Well then that brings me to my other question.” She waited for him to look at her before continuing. “What does she think of the whole situation?”

“What do you mean?”

“I think that a big variable that you aren't considering is how _she_ might feel about everything. You're both assuming that she won't be happy when she finds everything out, which she probably won't, but have you considered that after all that anger, she might actually understand? Maybe even accept?”

“She won't,” he said plainly.

“How do you know? Have you asked her? Cause you won't be sure until then. For all you two know, she might be completely against this family feud of yours.” Fili let the idea roll around in his mind. It never really occurred to him that Tauriel might actually not agree with Thranduil and accept Kili for being a Durin, because it didn't seem possible. The daughter of a high-ranking city official falling for the heir of someone people would call a criminal? It really didn't seem to fit. 

It suddenly dawned on him that the same thing applied to Sigrid. Her father was once a lawyer, whether or not he had that title now didn't matter. He was on the same side of the coin as Thranduil. Fili had secretly hoped that Sigrid would accept him, look past his role of being a Durin and see the human underneath, but if he couldn’t have that faith in Tauriel, how could he have it in Sigrid? Kili had been right; he was being a huge hypocrite.

“I know I just said to forget everyone in the relationship except Kili,” she continued. “But you have to remember that there is another human being on the other side who’s probably very confused about what's going on. You don’t know if she knows the truth already or if she’s protecting him from something you haven’t even thought about. If what you say is true, and you think that she really does have feelings for your brother, shouldn't it be her choice if she wants to keep seeing him, complications or not?”

As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew that she was right. He’d been assuming the worst of everyone, selling Tauriel short and his brother too. He knew that Kili really cared about Tauriel, and hadn't been very supportive of those feelings, worrying too much about how their family would react rather than how important it was to his brother. Perhaps it was time for him to change that. It was just as Sigrid had said, this was about his brother and his happiness, not his family or what they would think, and if Kili wanted to take the risk, he would support him no matter what. That’s what brothers were for. Fili let a light chuckle escape, surprised at how easily Sigrid seemed to dispel his worries. 

“What are you laughing at?” she asked.

“Have you been in this kind of situation before?” he asked. “You seem to be well-versed on the subject.”

“No,” she laughed along. “I just find that guys tend to look at things only one way. Does that mean I helped?”

“You did, or at least you helped me feel better. I think I know what I can do now.”

“Finally. I was beginning to think I would never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me!”

“I thought I told you that you didn't have to worry about any of that?” 

“I still feel like I owe you though. Like I should have a list of things I need to pay you back for.” 

An idea struck Fili and he decided to not waste this gift-wrapped opportunity. Why not take her advice and give things a shot? “Okay then. We’ll make a list.”

“Seriously? Should I be nervous?”

“I don't think so. My first request is easy enough I’d say.”

“Um, okay then. What is it?”

“For keeping you company while you do your work at the shop, you just have to answer a question.”

“Alright,” she giggled. “That seems like a fair trade. Ask away.” Her smile quickly dropped when he let his own devilish grin spread across his face.

“Before we came here, Tilda said that you talk about me all the time.”

“Oh my gods!” Sigrid gasped as she buried her face in her hands. “I'm already regretting this!”

“Don't worry. I just wanna know what she was going to say before you cut her off if you can fathom a guess.”

“Yeah, so um…” She couldn’t seem to get out the words and she played with a loose thread on her shirt, her hair, her own fingers; it seemed it was impossible for her to look up at him.

“I told her about how you looked like you were going to punch Smaug though the wall a few days ago. I… I think she was going to say how she could see you doing that.” 

“I don’t know if I’d be able to send him through the wall,” he smiled, “but I certainly would have punched him for you if you wanted me to.”

“Oh gods no,” she gasped as she finally looked him in the eyes, waving her hands in front of her. “You don’t need to do that! I don’t want you to have to hurt anyone for me!” He smiled, wanting to promise her that he wouldn’t ever do that, but knew he probably never could. 

“Alright then. Next on the list.” He looked out to Tilda who was looking through a rack of clothes with her friends. Mahal help him find his courage now. “For driving Tilda here today…” His heart was pounding as he moved his hand over and laced his fingers between hers. He glanced over to see her staring wide-eyed down at her hand within his. Her face was flushed and it looked like she had forgotten to breathe, so he lightly squeezed her hand and she quickly inhaled. “If that’s okay with you.”

“I-I don’t mind,” she said weakly. Her hand fidgeted slightly before squeezing back. They sat there quietly for what felt like hours; not wanting to move too fast for fear that the earth might shift beneath them. A few people passed by calmly involved in their own conversations, too busy to notice the nervous couple sitting on the bench that were too afraid to look at each other.

“So,” Fili cleared his throat. “Now we just need to settle waiting with you after the whole Smaug thing.” He heard her take a deep breath before she spoke.

“Is there… anything, in particular, you were thinking?” she swallowed trying to hold onto her voice. 

“Yeah,” he smiled as he faced her. “But I’ll admit I’m a little afraid to ask for it.” She looked him in the eyes and he could see how wide her eyes were, how flushed her skin was, how soft her lips looked.

“You don’t have to be afraid,” she said.

“I don’t?”

“No.” Their breath began to mingle together and he brushed her hair behind her ear with his free hand. He cupped the side of her face as he ran his thumb, feather-light, across her cheek before he slowly brought his lips to hers. As she kissed him back, he savored the softness of her lips and he tried to pull her closer so he could taste more. He ended the sweet kiss quickly, not wanting to push things too far and pulling back so he could see her expression only to find that her eyes were still closed as she bit her lower lip. 

“Oh my gosh!”

“No way!”

“Shut up!” Fili and Sigrid looked over towards the harsh whispers and saw Tilda and her friends quickly turn their backs in an attempt to look normal.

“Oh no!” Sigrid whined as she tried to hide her face in Fili’s shoulder. The two of them began to laugh together as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

“I’m sorry,” he said through his chuckles. “I guess that wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do, was it?”

“I’m never going to hear the end of this from her!” He didn’t think his heart could beat any faster, but he was proven wrong when she began to nuzzle her face into his neck in an attempt to hide more, from him or her sister he wasn’t sure. He planted a small kiss on her hair and held her close. 

“You're probably right. Not exactly the most romantic place for a first kiss is it?”

“Not really,” she agreed. He felt her shift in his arms and she pushed herself up look him in the eyes. “But I guess I always thought that the ‘where’ or ‘when’ really didn’t matter. What does matter is the ‘who’.” Fili smirked as he held her tight, never wanting to let her go. 

“You know, I might just have to agree with that.” He quietly kissed her again, but this time, they ignored her sister’s excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, I'm delaying the Kiliel drama, but it will come soon I promise! Plus, Fili needed to realize that he wasn't being a good brother and work out his own feelings a bit ;)  
> I just wanted to take this opportunity to once again thank Sno_WhiteQueen for being so helpful and supportive through this process. It really means so much to me so thank you <3


	10. Tears, Fist, and Blood - Tauriel

Tauriel was beyond angry, in fact, she was livid. When she had gotten home from the coffee shop, Arwen was already gone with Aragon, leaving her to deal with the immediate fallout of Kili and Thranduil alone. She did call her roommate eventually to tell her the gist of what happened but didn’t want to spoil her best friends romantic getaway and didn’t keep her for long. As the days went by though, her emotions were becoming more and more difficult to contain. Spring break so far had been a roller coaster and she just couldn’t handle it any longer.

This was not where she was going to let things end. 

As she sat up on the small couch in her apartment, she checked her phone again to find her inbox riddled with messages from different people asking her to join them for drinks and party. At least five of them were from Feanor asking her to come and hang, and eight from Legolas checking up on her when she said she wasn’t visiting home for break, but none of them were from people that she wanted to hear from. With a heavy sigh, she pushed away an empty wine glass, the light falling through her window from the setting sun creating a crescent shine on the table. She had to figure out some way to get through to Kili.

She had already gone through the heartbreak and the sorrow, but now the frustration had begun to settle in and fester. She was determined to figure out exactly what happened with him and she was going to do everything she could to make sure he didn't slip through her fingertips again. She called multiple times and messaged him, desperate to get in contact. She looked once again through her one-sided conversation with him.

_Kili. We need to talk. Please call me._

_I know you’re upset and something  
is bothering you. Please talk to me._

_If you’re hurting I’m here for you.  
You know you can tell me anything._

_Kili. Answer your phone._

_I know you can see these._

_Stop ignoring me and answer  
your goddamn phone._

_Kili! Talk to me!_

A full week with no response. Within all the time, she used some of it to think about what Thranduil had said. In the end, she decided that she could handle him being a Durin. She could handle that he wanted to protect her even if it was stupid. She could even handle that he wanted to distance himself to make sure she would be safe from… whatever he was keeping her safe from. She drew the line at being ignored. She had spent hours walking around her apartment fuming about him, trying to distract herself but failing miserably. She hoped he enjoyed his spring break because as soon as classes start up again, it didn’t matter if she made a spectacle of herself in front of the whole class, she was going to rip into him!

Unable to stand the solitude any longer, Tauriel quickly stood and searched for her jacket and purse. She needed to get out of her apartment. Not only was it just making her angry to be there by herself for so long, but there was a 100% chance that she wasn’t going to find him in her living room. Grabbing her keys off the hook by the door and making sure not to slam the door behind her, she rushed down the stairs, got into her car, and drove into town. She didn’t have anywhere in particular she wanted to go, but at least she was out and no longer sulking in her apartment. 

After walking around the streets for a few hours, she was beginning to give up hope on cheering herself up. She couldn’t find the motivation to actually buy anything in any of the stores she went into and it was starting to get dark. Soon enough the streets would be empty, and it wouldn’t be safe to be out alone anymore. Why was she even out here? Walking around this quiet part of town might have made her feel a little better, but it wasn’t going to fix anything.

A dimly lit shop caught her eye and with nothing better to do, she decided to slip in. It was a small record store with hardwood floors and a quiet jazz melody was playing overhead. Only a handful of people wandered the store and she was pretty sure half of them were workers, shuffling around with boxes of merchandise being moved from one corner of the store to the other. The first floor had shelves full of old games, movies, CD’s and DVD’s while the second was filled with old vinyl records. Seeing as she didn’t own a record player, she decided it’d be best to remain downstairs.

She’d never been in one of these stores before and was still in too foul of a mood to ask anyone for help, so she picked up the first pair of headphones that she could find and slid them over her ears. She pressed Track One on the small keypad they were attached to in front of her and let the light melody fill her mind.

_Is it all right, if I come round?_  
_Is it too late, if I come now?_  
_Would you stay up to figure this out_  
_Some way?_

She closed her eyes and let the music shift her body around is a lethargic swaying motion. Each note was a pulse in her fingertips; every word a sweet taste on her tongue; each beat a wave through her spine. The frustration that had created a home inside of her slowly began to dispel from her body with every breath she took. It didn't matter anymore. 

She didn’t care that she was angry or hurt, that she wanted to punch him in the face and hug him at the same time; she just wanted to see him again.

_If I stay here, would you come back?_  
_If I stay cool, would you be mine?_  
_Would you want me, if I want you,_  
_That way?_

____

She opened her eyes to rid herself of her fresh tears, and for a moment she felt like her mind was being cruel and she was hallucinating. She could see Kili in front of her, looking at her with sad eyes so full of regret that she let out a half broken sob. How far would he go to stay away from her? Would he switch classes? What was she suppose to do? What would happen if he really never spoke to her again? She pressed the back of her hands to her face and wiped her tears away. Even if he was just a hallucination, she didn’t want Kili to see her that way.

_Cause all I can think about is_  
_Coming over, coming over._  
_All I can think about is_  
_Coming over, coming over._  
_All I can think about is_  
_Coming over, coming over_  
_Coming over._

She opened her eyes again and a cold shock ran through her spine. Kili was still there, and he wasn’t a hallucination. She was looking out the window of the shop and he was looking in at her with sad and tired eyes to match her own. He was really there. She’d actually found him, but he suddenly realized the same thing about her and quickly began to walk away. Tauriel threw the large headphones off of her head and ran out the front door, unwilling to let him slip away this time. 

“Kili!” she shouted after him. He didn’t turn around and continued to get further away from her. “Kili wait!” He kept walking, picking up his pace to distance himself, so she began to chase after him. She wasn’t going to let him go, so she ran as fast as she could until she reached out and grabbed his arm. As she dug her nails into the fabric of his jacket and caught her breath, she wasn’t sure if she was able to hold him in place or if he simply wasn’t shaking off her grip, but she still felt resistance as she held onto him. His gray hoodie was up over his head, obstructing his face from her sight and he refused to look at her.

“Let go of me Tauriel,” he ordered calmly. 

“No.”

“Tauriel, I said let go.”

“And I said no! You can’t just cut me off from you without an explanation.”

“You got one already.”

“Bullshit. I want your reason, no one else’s.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Kili this isn't you… Whatever Thranduil said to you, whatever he did…”

“Your dad didn’t do anything.”

“He’s not my father!” she shouted. She hadn’t meant to raise her voice, but hearing that man referred to as her father always sparked something in her. She didn’t know if anyone else was on the street right now watching them and she didn’t care. A couple’s spat they would think. She’d give them a show.

“Tauriel please,” he begged. She heard it that time; the pain that he was feeling by doing this to her, so she reached for it.

“You don’t want to do this, I know you don’t.”

“It’s the only way I can keep you safe,” he whispered.

“Safe from what? I can take care of myself and you know that. What makes you think you know best huh? You don’t get to decide what is good for me. Just tell me what’s really wrong, Kili!”

“Gods dammit Tauriel!” he shouted throwing his hood off his head. He had finally lost his temper and turned to get into her face. Despite his stature, he was no less intimidating and she could feel the muscles in his arm tense. His eyes were dark, his beard fuller than she had ever seen before, and he looked like he hadn’t slept well in days. He showed no signs of running away from her now, but she still held onto his arm. “You’re such a stubborn idiot! You keep getting involved in things that aren’t your business! You don’t know how to let things go!”

“And you’re a self-deprecating prick! Shutting out the people who care about you the most and only want to help you! Now that we have that established, I want you to talk to me about what the fuck is going on!”

“There’s nothing to talk about! This is how things have to be!”

“But you don’t want it to be like this!”

“It’s not about what I want! It never has been! It doesn’t matter!”

“I don’t care that you’re a Durin!” she cried and the world around them hushed. Any resistance she had felt in his body evaporated as the words sank into the space around them and she slowly released him. Whatever resolve he had left was disappearing by the second and she could see it throughout his entire body as the anger in him evaporated.

“Don’t… Don’t say that,” he begged her. His voice was pathetic; weak like it hurt him to get any sound out. “Don’t do this to me.”

“Anything that is being done to you, you have done to yourself!” she decreed, lungs still heaving from her outburst. “And anything that happens from this point on will be my choice. Do you understand me? Durin or not, I choose to stay with you despite whatever danger you think you may bring upon me. I will not sit quietly and let you decide what’s good for me, especially if it involves staying away from you!” She watched as he took her blows, regret painting his face and she saw she was getting through to him, but then the tension in his back returned and he stood a little straighter. His eyes were locked in on something, but it wasn’t her. 

“Kili? Are you listening to me?”

“Tauriel we need to leave.”

“Oh no, we are not leaving until this is resolved right here and now.”

“Tauriel, run,” his voice spiked with urgency.

“What?” She didn’t have time to look behind her before he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him away from the bright street.

“Run!” With no other warning, they were both in full sprint running down the street. Tauriel watched as Kili frantically looked around before he made a sharp turn and hurried through an alley.

“What are you doing? What’s happening?” she gasped as she tried to keep her footing.

“They found me, and now they know about you. Gods dammit I’m a fucking idiot! It’s too late now! I’ve gotten you involved! I need to get you out of here. Fuck! I was careless, I was stupid, I was—”

“You are none and all of the above but I want an explanation!” She glanced behind her and began to pick up speed when she saw two figures gaining on them.

“Tauriel, I need to get you out of here so this is not a good time to be fighting each other!”

“Fine! But I’m not going anywhere without you so we’re both going to make it out of here or neither of us are!” They rounded another corner and nearly ran into a fence. Kili laced his fingers together and she quickly put her foot in his hands, allowing her to jump higher and leap over the obstruction. Kili jumped on top of a trashcan, carried his momentum up the wall, swung his legs over and landed on his feet before grabbing Tauriel’s hand and running again.

“Where’s your car?” he asked.

“Second floor of the west parking garage.” They continued out into the open street, looking around for anyone that might be after them and quickly entered the poorly lit garage. Kili pulled her behind a cement beam and they both pressed their backs against it, desperately trying to catch their breath while remaining hidden from view.

“Get to your car as fast as you can and I’ll cover you,” he ordered as he squeezed her hand to make sure she was still there.

“I told you before,” she gasped in unison with him. “Both of us are getting out of here. What is going on, Kili?”

“Tauriel, I promise I will tell you everything, but I need you to do what I say and get out of here first, understand?” She only grumbled in response as they looked around the corner to make sure it was safe. Still holding each other’s hands, they quickly slipped from behind the beam and ran up the ramp to the second floor. No one else was around; the lot was void of any moving cars and the only sounds they could hear were their gasping breaths and pounding feet. Tauriel had her silver car in sight and the two of them sprinted towards it, and then Kili was sucker punched by a man hiding behind a parked truck and he hit the floor, nearly bringing Tauriel down with him.

“Kili!” Tauriel watched in terror as six men phased into sight from between the surrounding cars and set themselves upon her and Kili, who was still struggling to get off the ground.

“Grab her,” a voice ordered. One of the men wrapped his arms around her from behind and she began to kick and flail. She managed to get a solid foot placed on the back of someone’s car and pushed off with all of her strength, forcing them to fall backward and giving her that chance to quickly roll over his shoulders onto her feet again. She scoffed when one of them began to stalk towards her with a small knife. 

“You’re going to need more than that toothpick,” she growled. The angered man came after her and she brought her arms up to defend herself. She quickly dodged the weapon and punched him in the throat before using his momentum to pull him down and repeatedly jab him in the chest with her knee. She twisted his shoulder and removed the knife from his grasp before elbowing him in the back of his head. The familiar feel of adrenaline pumping through her veins kept her focused as she adjusted her grip to the blade and prepared for the next man to come for her. 

She saw Kili, who was still on the floor, sweep his legs under the tallest man so he’d hit the floor and knocking him out cold with a single punch. As another man charged him, Kili again kicked the man’s legs out and forced him to fall forward, giving Kili the opportunity to wrap his arms around the man's neck and flip him over before kicking the man that she had knocked down before in the face. 

Tauriel quickly realized that these men were not trained, not well at least. They used only their strength and sized to fight and the knives they had were for intimidation more than anything. As one stalked towards her, she kicking him in the stomach grabbed his hair with on hand and pound his face in with the other. Another man approached too quickly for her to block, so she took a heavy blow to her side before she slashed at the tendons in his arm with the knife and kicked him in the gut, forcing him to the ground.

All of the men were now either crawling on the floor or out cold, but Tauriel’s heartbeat wouldn’t let her relax and she kept her arms up protectively. They still needed to get out of there and fast. She quickly but carefully shuffled her way over to Kili to help him off the ground, but shrieked when she found herself being ripped away from him again.

“Tauriel!” he roared. She was thrown against a nearby support beam; her head banged against the cement and all the air left her lungs. The pain coursing through her head and neck blurred her thoughts as she tried to regain her balance before she was hit again. She thought she could feel blood trickle down her face before she was yanked away like a doll by two pairs of strong hands. She forced her vision to clear and found that the two people chasing them before had both of her arms now trapped between theirs. One of them twisted her arm over, causing her to drop the knife on the ground and its metallic ring echoed around them. The other had his fingers twisted in her long hair, pulling her head back and forcing her to move with them.

“Get your fucking hands off me!” she shouted and cursed as her legs kicked at the air. Her mind was unfocused and the pain remained as she continued to thrash and struggle, but the men holding her refused to loosen their grip. 

“Shut up you bitch!” one of them barked at her as her head was jerked back again. She began chanting in her head: Stay calm. You’re not trapped. You have to protect Kili. You can get out of this. You’re not trapped. Keep fighting. You’re not trapped. _You’re not trapped_. As she looked around for some way to escape, a new figure stalked out of the shadows and made it’s way over to Kili. 

“If you fucking touch him I swear to Valar I will make you bleed out for days before I let you die!”

“Damn Kili,” a gravel voice spoke. “She’s a fiery one isn’t she?” Tauriel watched as Kili pulled himself off the ground to face the man who addressed him. He had a larger build than the others, with dark tattoos up his arms and across his bald head and a scar that ran over his left eye which appeared to be a milky white.

“Bolg!” Kili grinned as he huffed and wheezed. He looked so small compared to the man before him. “It’s been a while.”

“It has. I gotta say, that was quite the show you just put on for me. And here I thought that going after the younger brother would be boring.” 

“Yeah well, five years give’s you some time to get a little better at fighting; in theory at least. Your guys went down, what? Thirty seconds faster than last time? I’m a little disappointed, to be honest. Fili’s still stronger than me though so there still probably won’t be much more of a fight if he—” Bolg punched Kili in the face, cutting him off and knocking him to the floor for the second time.

“Kili!” Tauriel shouted. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she felt sick as she watched Kili spit a mouthful of blood onto the cement.

“Agh! Yep, that was a nice shot. You been working out?” Kili laughed as he wiped the blood onto his sleeve. He slowly stood up again, but stumbled back slightly, still in a daze. Tauriel continued to struggle against the people holding her, but they held fast, painfully digging their fingers into the muscles of her arms like screwdrivers into wood. Her growls of pain quickly stopped, however, when she noticed that Bolg’s attention was no longer directed to Kili and he slowly began to approach. When he stopped before her, she could more clearly see the disfigurement in his face from getting into multiple fights; a crooked nose, a patch of mutilated skin where a chunk of his lip once was, a pattern of white lines on his forehead were someone had stitched him up at one point. To anyone else, a man of his stature and appearance looking down at them would have been terrifying, but as Tauriel stared back at him, she wanting nothing more than to punch the arrogant smirk off of his face.

“She’s pretty, Ki,” Bolg stated as he knelt down to pick up the knife she’d dropped. “A little small in the chest, but I wouldn’t call that a deal breaker.”

“Leave her out of this Bolg,” Kili ordered, the humor in his voice now dead. “She has nothing to do with the war. This is between your family and mine.” Tauriel’s face didn’t show any fear as Bolg brought the knife up to her line of sight and twirled it in his hands, but her heavy breathing was starting to betray her and she was afraid that her heart was beating so hard that everyone could see it practically bursting from her chest.

“You’re right Kili. Actually, this is between your uncle and my father. We’re just collateral, and now,” he pointed the tip of the bloody knife under her chin, “she is too. What do you have to say to that, Little Lady?”

“Your knife cuts like shit,” she spit before the man holding her hair yanked it back forcing a yelp of pain to slip through her throat.

“Let her go!” Kili demanded more forcefully. This was bad. If Tauriel didn’t think of a way to get out of this fast, she and Kili might not make it out of here. She told herself to breathe. Just stay calm, breathe in and out, and search for some form of escape.

“Not just yet,” Bolg smiled as he turned his back to Tauriel to face his true target. “Tell me Kili, where is your uncle?”

“Frerin?” Kili asked. “Don’t you remember? He died over ten years ago after—” Kili dropped to the floor for the third time as Bolg kicked him in the stomach, causing a strangled groan to escape his lips. Tauriel grunted and growled in anger as she continued to struggle, but reminded herself to conserve what little strength she had left.

“Where is Thorin?” Bolg asked impatiently. 

“Oh you mean that uncle! You gotta be more specific than that. You know how much of an idiot I can be. Probably from all the times you knocked my head to the ground.”

“And I'll crack it open like an egg if you don't answer my question.”

“I hate to break it to ya,” Kili groaned. “But I haven’t spoken to the guy in months. Got no clue where he is.” Bolg stood there for a moment, a puzzled look on his face as if he were trying to solve a riddle; not debating whether or not he should slit Kili’s jugular. All that could be heard was Kili’s panting and Tauriel’s heartbeat in her own ears. Bolg looked back to Tauriel before he stepped backward, turned, and began to walk away. 

“Well I do hope this causes you to have a change of heart… Take her with us.” Tauriel didn’t wait to hear if Kili would object because her mind shut down when she realized this was her only opportunity. 

The first man let go of her arm and hair so that the other could put her into a chokehold and squeeze her windpipe, but she quickly pulled herself forward and brought her numb, but free arm first down to the man’s groin and then up to his face, hitting him in the eyes. With his grip around her neck now loosened, she spun herself around, used her momentum to flip him over her shoulder onto the ground, and as she placed her knee on his ribcage, she twisted is arm back and heard a loud, satisfying crack. She wasn’t sure if it was dislocated or completely broken, but he was now on the floor wailing in pain and unable to get up. She ducked under the second man’s lunge and struck him below the belt and he dropped like a stone. She turned to see Kili and Bolg fighting again and some of the other men from before coming to. She quickly rushed over and kicked as many of them in the head as she could to keep them down. She stopped when she heard Kili roar in pain. 

In an attempt to kick the side of Bolg’s head, he had brought his leg up and around, only to be stopped by Bolg driving the knife into his thigh. He dropped to the ground with the weapon still embedded in his leg and began screaming through clenched teeth.

“AH SHIT! AHHH!”

The sound of his screams must have caused something to snap because before she had even realized her feet were moving and against all rational judgment, she began charging for Bolg. He reached out to push her to the ground only to find that she had shoved his arms aside, swept her leg back forcing him to continue forward, and jabbed him in the throat with all her strength. He fell to his knees, coughing and wheezing, desperate for any air he could drag into his lungs, but she knew he wouldn’t be down for long. She didn’t need to beat him. She needed to get away.

“Kili!” she cried. Her own voice sounded foreign to her, raw and dry as she called to him. She mustered all her strength and pulled his arm over her shoulder as she lifted him off the ground. “Kili! Please get up!”

“I told you to get out of here!” he winced. He wasn’t pulling her down with him, but he wasn’t helping her either. 

“And I told you I’m not going anywhere without you, now get up!” Finally pulling himself together, he got to his feet as best as he could and hobbled along with her to her car. He leaned up against the passenger door, doing his best not to get any blood on the outside that might draw suspicious eyes. Tauriel unlocked the car and opened the door for him before running over to the driver side and turning on the ignition. 

She looked back over to the pile of bodies and saw that Bolg had already gotten up off the ground and was rushing towards them.

“Tauriel!” she heard Kili call to her. He tossed her a knife through the car and she quickly threw it across the lot into Bolg’s knee, bringing him down again with a weak shout. She jumped into her car and began to pull out before her door had even closed. Her tires screeched as her gas pedal was forced to the floor and she sped out of the garage, only running over one of their attacker's legs.

“Gah!” Kili grunted next to her. She looked over and saw him holding both his hands down on his leg and she realized what he had done.

“Kili! You pulled out the knife? Are you fucking insane? You’re going to bleed out!”

“Don’t worry,” he sighed weakly. “I’m not going to die on you.”

“Damn right you’re not!” she yelled. Tauriel was fiercely trying to multitask as she brushed the blood and sweat away from her eyes, forcing herself to ignore the throbbing of her side, attempted to keep her attention to the road, and frantically tried to take care of Kili who was quickly losing blood. As soon as she hit a stoplight she reached back and pulled a clean gym towel from her back seat. “Put this on your leg and keep applying pressure.”

“I know how- ah! I know how to treat a stab wound.” The clean white fabric was getting soaked with blood, growing more crimson by the second. “We need to go find my brother. Ngh! They’ve probably gone after him too.”

“The hell we are!” she shouted. “You’re in no condition to do anything right now! I’m taking you to the hospital!” 

“No! No hospitals!” he snarled through clenched teeth.

“Kili! You’re bleeding out in my car from a stab to the leg! If we don’t get it treated, it’s going to get infected and if the blood loss doesn’t slowly kill you I will!”

“No hospitals!” he repeated. “It’s the first place they’ll look for me, the doctors will ask questions that I can’t answer, and then the police are going to come and arrest me. Your dad would take great pleasure in that I’m sure.”

“He’s not my dad and I can make sure he doesn’t arrest you.”

“Heh,” he laughed weakly. “You might be his daughter, but I don’t even think you have the power to stop him. Just drop me off at my apartment. With any luck, Fi’s already there and can take care of me.”

“If you think the hospital is the first place they’re going to look for you, your apartment will be the second.” Tauriel was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were turning white despite the bruises that were beginning to surface. “I’m taking you to my apartment. I’ll stitch you up there.”

“No,” he snapped. “I’m not going to let them—”

“They are already after me Kili! You said so yourself, it’s too late! Whoever they are, they’re already coming for me. Not only do you still owe me a goddamn explanation for everything but I _guarantee_ you that I have a lot more weapons at my place than you do at yours.” 

“What about your roommate?”

“Arwen went to the lake with her boyfriend. They’re going to be gone for the rest of break.” He didn’t say anything as his head rolled back and he looked out the window. She panicked for a moment, afraid he had passed out on her, but his face continued to contort and twist in pain and she knew he was still awake, for now. “Look. I won’t take you to the hospital on one condition.”

“Oh yeah? And what might that be?”

“Give me your phone so I can text your brother what’s going on.”

“No way! You’re just going to call Thranduil!”

“I don’t need your goddamn phone to do that! If you really think that he will arrest you then fine, I will leave him out of this, but you can’t text your brother what is happening without relieving pressure on your leg and passing out! Give me your phone or I take you to the hospital right now.” They sat there in silence, waiting for the other to give in as the streetlights above them rolled over her car. Without a word, Kili turned over his phone, and Tauriel headed back towards her apartment as the adrenaline left her body and the pain in her mind and all over her body began to settle in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Tauriel do now that Kili is finally face to face with her again? Will Kili continue to shut her out? Will they finally make up? Will Kili's leg be okay? Who is Bolg and what does he want with Thorin? Are Fili and Sigrid in danger as well? Guess we'll find out next time ;D
> 
> Song is "Coming Over" by James Hersey


	11. The Truth - Kili

Kili had pictured himself coming to Tauriel’s apartment before but under much different circumstances. He was currently lying down shirtless on Tauriel’s couch, doing his best not to get blood on anything but the towels underneath him and was wondering how in Mahal’s name he got into this mess. He was just walking through town, minding his own business when not only did Tauriel practically attack him but then Bolg and his goons decided to make a surprise guest appearance. After that, things started to blur together. 

He remembers giving Tauriel his phone in exchange for not going to the hospital, but he doesn't remember how they had gotten into her apartment without being seen by anyone. He remembers how she had told him to sit on the couch and strip —remembers making a joke about foreplay too— but he doesn’t remember her sewing up the stab wound on his leg using a well-stocked first aid kit. Where did she learn to use stitches? He must have passed out for that part. She must have also changed while he was out because she was now free of any blood and wearing a dark tank top, an open sweater and soft gray shorts as pajamas. Her hair was down, covering her body like a dangerous barrier. He tried to find a clock somewhere but was forced to just assume that since he could see the stars outside her window, it was pretty late. 

He assessed the damage done to his body and realized he must have blacked out for at least two hours for her to take care of him so fully. The ice pack she had dropped on his face to reduce the swelling had melted and was now on the corner table behind him. She had taken the time to wash his bloody shirt and hoodie, which were now folded neatly on her kitchen counter. There was no blood on his body anymore and he pushed away the thoughts of her hands moving over his arms and chest to clean him. His khaki shorts were still covered in blood; she hadn't taken them off to treat his leg but rolled them up instead. His leg wasn’t bleeding right now thanks to her stitching him up and the gauze wrapped tightly around his thigh, but he knew that as good as her patch up stitches were, they weren’t going to cut it for long. He would have to get Fili or call Oin to fully close up his wound as soon as he got home. He looked down at his exposed chest and found multiple bruises already beginning to form, although most of them were hidden by all of the hair that covered him. He took a deep breath, held it, shifted around, and then let out a sigh of relief. Nothing felt broken. He was still in a lot of pain, but he’d been in much worse. She was too good to him, taking care of his broken body after everything that had happened between them. Now they were across from each other, him on the couch and her in a chair, as she stared him down waiting for him to speak. 

“Start talking,” she demanded. Kili fought the urge to chuckle. She got straight to the point, didn’t even ask how he was feeling after waking up. Then again, he had been conscious for the last ten minutes.

“Well, how much do you wanna know?” he asked. He made an attempt to sit up, but quickly gave up when he realized he wouldn’t be able to hide the pain on his face and she would probably yell at him again.

“Everything.”

“Well you got to know something’s already right? You’re da- Thranduil is the Chief of Police so I’m sure he’s told you all about me and my shitty family.”

“He doesn’t talk about work with me, just tells me people I should watch out for. You for example.”

“But you didn’t listen.”

“I’m starting to wonder if I should have.” 

“Okay, I deserve that.” Even he could admit that he’d been a dick to her the past week and every cut and bruise he had right now was payment for hurting her so much. He didn’t want to do it, but it really was for the best.

“Kili,” she sighed as she looked at her hands clasped in her lap. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Taur.”

“Kili, look me in the eyes and listen closely. I. Do. Not. Hate. You.” He did his best to make sure that his expression was unreadable and flat, but inside his mind was a jumbled mess. How can she say that after he abandoned her? Ignored her? Treated her like she didn’t exist after she had opened up to him? Put her in harm's way tonight? He didn’t know how she coped with him leaving her like that, but if the coffee shop and the record store were any indications, she didn’t take it lightly. He would normally compare how he felt when he saw her sobbing tonight to getting stabbed, but right now actually getting stabbed hurt less. On top of it all, now she was mixed up in a gang war and she expects him to believe that she doesn’t hate him? 

“I want to be mad at you,” she continued. “I _am_ still mad at you, but seeing you right now…” she dropped her gaze. “I’m too happy that you’re speaking to me again. I was so afraid that you hated me; that I had done something wrong.”

“No! Tauriel, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You’re damn right I didn’t!” she snapped. “If you hadn’t been so stupid and shut me out, maybe you wouldn’t look like you’ve just been thrown down a mountain!”

“Well shit!” he shouted back. “I’m sorry I didn’t want you to get stuck in the war between my uncle, your father figure, and the biggest gangster in the city! Thranduil has obviously kept to in the dark to protect you. Maybe I was just trying to do the same and keep you safe!”

“I have _never_ been safe!” she cried. Kili had been ready to argue back already, but the strain in her voice made him stop. “My legal guardian is the Chief of Police! You think that doesn’t already put a gigantic target on my back? You think people haven’t tried to get me before to get to him?”

“So what, I'm supposed to just leave you in more harms way because I wanted to be with you? You’re already at risk, so why not add a gang war into your life? It’s dangerous to be close to me Tauriel, that’s why I left you! That’s why you need to stay away! I’m not going to just stand by and let you get hurt!”

“It’s my choice Kili!” she argued as she got to her feet. “You don’t get to make that decision for me! You can want me to be safe and try to keep me from harm, but I am not some pet that you can order around or abandon when you see fit! I might not know your family or what they’ve done, for all I know they could be the cruel, selfish, vile thugs that Thranduil makes them out to be, but what I do know is that you are not like that! I don’t care that you’re a Durin because your name is not what matters to me, _you are_!

“If you want to protect me from harm, I understand that! I love that you want to do that for me! But you cannot hurt me or cut me off in order to do it and I won't let you put yourself in danger in the process! Let me protect you too!” Kili’s mind was empty of words and his body drain of any energy that he had to argue with her. Other Durins had sworn to protect him and his line, but he’d never known anyone, besides his mother and his brother, who wanted to take care of him the way she did now. He realized right then that as selfish as he felt for wanting to be with her and keep her close, he was a hundred times more selfish for ignoring and pushing her away. 

He had been treating her like a priceless sword. One revered for its sharp blade, its power, and its beauty, but he had been so afraid that she would be damaged or destroyed that he locked her away. He thought he could keep something precious to him safe if he kept it away from any harm. But what good was a weapon if it cannot be used? If it cannot be free? A sword was not meant to sit locked in a chest to rust away. A sword that is used to fight and to protect is always at risk of being hurt, but it is no less powerful, loved and treasured so long as it is cared for.

In other words, he had been a real ass.

“You’re right,” Kili admitted. “I wasn’t treating you like you were a person. You told me that you hated feeling trapped and I thought that if you got too involved with me, you would be. I pushed you away because I was being selfish and I wasn’t thinking about your feelings. I’m sorry.” He watched her sit back down as if hot air was deflating her body.

“Apology accepted,” she said with only slight frustration. “You still owe me an explanation for what was going on though. You promised me that.”

“I said I would tell you everything if you did what I said. I told you to get out of there without me and you didn’t listen so I guess I don’t really owe you anything?” he smirked and she let a laugh slip out. Thank Mahal.

“Even with half of your face swollen I can tell when you’re messing with me. I missed this.”

“It’s only been a week, Tauriel.”

“It feels like a lifetime,” she frowned and he felt the same way. He had been completely and utterly depressed since he walked out on her. He’d stopped eating, had been locking himself in his room, was sleeping throughout the day, and had even ripped up some of his favorite sketches of her; something he was severely regretting now. And of course, Fili had finally come around to supporting him right after they had cut ties. He couldn’t handle being without her and it made him feel physically sick. Today, Fili had finally told him that enough was enough and that he didn’t have to go find Tauriel if he didn’t want to, but he had to get the hell out of the apartment. As much pain as he was in right now, he was glad he did. 

“What do you want to know about first?” he asked. He watched her face scrunch up for a moment, considering her options. 

“Tell me who Azog is to you,” she began. “Thranduil told me he’s a gangster in the city and is just like your family, but that’s all I know.”

“Azog huh?” Kili could understand that she wanted to know about the man out for his, and now her, head. “Well I get to answer two questions in one with that; his origin story and my family’s.

“I’m sure you at least know the basics about him. Everyone in the city has at least heard of Azog; defiler and soulless sadomasochist. Hell, it’s probably easier to list the crimes he hasn’t committed. He’s like a psychopath who doesn’t work alone, recruiting some by force and others because they’re just as fucked up.” Kili was carefully watching her expression for any sign of uneasy but continued when he saw none. “Everyone knows who he is, but most don’t know that he pretty much runs the entire criminal aspect of the city. He thrives off the pain and suffering he brings, but he gets bored easily. I don’t know what Thranduil’s told you, but before he came to this city, he traveled the country for ten years recruiting for the Gundabad and for different people to torture for fun.”

“So then why did he stop here?” she asked. 

“That would be my family’s fault,” Kili sighed. He wasn’t looking forward to airing out his family’s life story, and probably shouldn’t, but a promise was a promise and he trusted her even if Fili didn’t. He just had to omit a few details. “A little history for ya, there are Durins as a group of people, and Blood Durins as a family line. As a people, we’re made up of a group of various clans and are not exactly the classiest people you’ll ever meet. There are always a few outliers here and there, but in general, we’re loud, messy, rude, beast among men, but we keep to ourselves. We come from a long line of fighters and have trained our entire lived to be warriors. It’s almost instinctual for us to fight. Most of our family join the armed forces, but that only really happens if you’re not a part of the main family branches. As it turns out, I’m not just in a main branch; I’m a part of _the_ main branch, a Blood Durin.” 

“Okay… What does that mean?” Tauriel asked masking her surprise, if she had any that is.

“It means that I am a member of the most powerful clan so not only do I have to train to be one of the strongest people in my family, but I also have to play a role in the other skills that Durins excel in: craftsmanship and leadership. Those who don’t join the army become miners, craftsmen or business owners and forging has been the family business for generations. It seems rather fitting that we’re all sort of greedy sons of bitches running one of the biggest jewelry companies on the planet. 

“The truth is that Erebor is a company that publicly prides itself on how selective it’s hiring process is while privately, you can only become a member of the company if you’re a Blood or family Durin, married to a Blood Durin, or have proven your loyalty beyond doubt. There are other Durin families like the Ironfists or the Stonefoots, but even they don’t get to know everything about us. We live by a code; a code that states that the Head of the Family makes all of the decision for the good of the business or the family.”

“So it’s like a monarchy hidden within a business,” Tauriel stated. “An exclusive one at that.”

“Exactly. And because of direct bloodlines, the ‘king’ of the company right now is my uncle, Thorin.” Kili stopped for a moment to let Tauriel process what she had just heard. She was quite as her face scrunched up in thought and her nose crinkled.

“Thorin doesn’t have any kids, and your mom is his sister.”

“Well remembered,” he smiled, impressed with her. He could practically hear the gears turning in her head and for a second, her stoic expression faltered.

“So by your ancient royal family standards… you and your brother are princes?” Kili felt bad for doing so, but he couldn’t help but laugh through the pain at her deduction.

“Ha, ha! If you wanna put it that way sure, just call me prince charming. If you went by those standards though, every heir or heiress to a large corporate company is royalty. We don’t like to use titles like that anyways; too pretentious.”

“That’s why you’re trapped isn’t it?” Tauriel figured out. “It’s not just that you have to stay in the family business, your lineage restricts you from doing anything else.”

“Bingo,” Kili said as he tapped his nose with his finger. He stared up at the ceiling as if he were looking into the past. “I can’t fight my blood. Durins, especially Blood, are aggressive and stubborn. We hold tightly to traditions, close ourselves off to others and don’t trust outsiders, but we value family above all else. We may not be close to many, and we might not hand out our feelings often, but when we do we love like wildfires.”

“Your mother must have loved your father a lot then,” Tauriel mused. Kili nodded unable to reply. “It must be a big deal when a member of your family passes.”

“Huge,” he choked out. “It destroyed my mother when he died. She was already broken up when she lost her other brother, Frerin, to cancer only a few months earlier, but she was never the same after my dad died. It killed Uncle Thorin to see her like that and he didn’t take his brother’s death well either, no one to angry at or fight against. We’ve lost a lot more family and friends in the last five years than we thought we could bear thanks to Azog. We’re still here though, somehow, so I guess we haven’t experienced enough heartache to kill us just yet.”

“But why?” Tauriel asked. “Why does he hate the Durins so much?”

“He doesn’t hate the Durins,” Kili swallowed. “He hates my uncle, Fili and me. He likes to torture people, remember? So he goes after our family instead, but for some reason, Azog’s decided that he’s coming after us directly now.” It hurt him. The guilt that he felt over the loss of so many of his brothers and sisters hurt him so much. So many people had died because of choices he and his family had made and he felt it all weighing on his shoulders. Lost in his memories, he practically jumped when he suddenly felt Tauriel’s hand grab his and hold it tight. She looked at him, her eyes full of sorrow, as if even though she knew she couldn’t take away his pain or his guilt, she wanted to try.

“What happened, Kili?” she asked again. He took a deep breath as he brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. 

“Thorin, Fili and I were on our way home one night around five years ago. It was late and we were walking in the parking lot. The Durin’s reputation for being wealthy and powerful wasn’t exactly a secret, but we also weren’t immediately recognizable walking down the street. Azog somehow knew though. Probably had spies on us for months. He and his gang pulled guns on us in the parking lot and tried to take Fili and I away so Thorin would pay a ransom.”

“How old were you?” she said as she twisted her fingers through her own hair.

“Fifteen.” He pretended not to notice the shock on her face and continued. “Azog made a mistake though. He thought that the owners of a large corporate company would be lazy pushovers who’d never picked up anything more dangerous than a butter knife.”

“You fought back.” 

“Durins are famous for a lot of things Tauriel,” Kili said, dropping his hand from hers. All traces of anguish had gone from his eyes and voice. “Our pride, our greed, our tempers, but one thing is always certain when it comes to Durins: we never run from a fight, and this one didn’t end well.

“While Fili and I fought off the less experienced guys, Azog and Thorin fought one on one. I learned that day that both of them are pretty ruthless. Thorin got stabbed in the chest a few times, but Azog practically got his arm ripped off. I don’t even know if he can use it anymore.”

“We’re you and Fili hurt at all?”

“Fili got a broken arm and I cracked a few ribs, but the other guys had it worse. You remember that guy you stabbed in the knee, Bolg?”

“He’s Azog’s son right?”

“Yep. He kind of has a personal vendetta against me cause I’m the one who stabbed him in the eye.”

“Um, yeah. _I’d_ say that’s a reason to hate your guts,” she stressed.

He stared at her wide-eyed and in shock with a hint of joy outlining the corners of his mouth. “Did… Did you just make a pun?”

Tauriel looked confused until first understanding then embarrassment crossed her face. “Oh gods,” she groaned. “I swear I didn’t mean to.”

“Those are the best ones though!” he laughed while clutching his stomach. It might hurt to do that for a few days.

“What happened after the fight?” Tauriel asked once he had stopped. 

“We got away and Azog swore vengeance like a comic book villain. As you can imagine, he doesn’t like losing. Thorin made sure that my mom stayed overseas in order to protect her. She wasn't happy about it, but he’d already lost his brother, he wasn't about to lose his little sister because of something he did. She only agreed if she could come visit us a few times a year.”

“Why didn't he send you away?”

“Fili and I were too involved. If he hid us away, even if he sent us off to another country, Azog would follow us. Better to stay close so Thorin could keep an eye on us.”

“And you can’t go to the police because?”

“Oh we’ve tried, but in addition to the fact that Thranduil doesn’t want to work with us, Azog’s been in hiding and has supposedly changed his appearance so much that he’s not even recognizable anymore. He could be anywhere.”

“So you’ve been hiding ever since.”

“Not exactly hiding, but not advertising either. Obviously, extra precautions were taken with my brother and I since we were so young at the time. Things were really tough on Fili since he was in the middle of college; it made him a pretty easy target. Fortunately, Thorin’s good friends with BMU’s Dean.”

“Dean Gandalf?”

“Yeah. He helped make things easier for Fili and me while we were taking classes; changing our last names for professors and such, doing his best to keep us hidden from Azog, but I guess the old man can only do so much.” Kili let out a heavy sigh. “And the same goes for me. I’m sorry, Tauriel. I tried to keep you out of this, but now that Azog knows that’s you’re connected to me, he’s going to come after you too.” She sat there in silence, absorbing everything she just heard. He knew though, no matter what he said, his apology wouldn’t be enough. He just ruined her life, put her life in danger, all because he couldn’t help himself. 

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay as in I understand. As in I’m okay with this.”

‘Taur…”

“Don’t you dare,” she cut him off. “Don’t you even think of telling me what I should think or do. I told you before that everything that has happened was because of you, but from now on everything is my choice.”

“You were almost killed tonight, Tauriel,” he reminded her.

“So were you. If I hadn’t been there, you’d probably be at the bottom of a river and not currently bleeding all over my furniture. I can take care of myself, Kili.”

“I know you can, but that doesn’t make this any easier.” 

“You’re right,” she agreed. Kili felt a pang in his chest at that. “But that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.” 

“No,” he mused. “No, it doesn’t.” After silence passed between them, she began to twist her hair again and he knew she wasn’t finished.

“Can I ask you another question?”

“In the spirit of making deals, which you seem to be in, I will answer another question of yours, if you answer one of mine.”

“Fair enough,” she decided. “I understand why Thranduil hates Azog, but you’re fighting against him too. Why does Thranduil hate you?”

“I mean, he mostly hates Thorin, but he doesn’t like the Durin family for a couple of reasons. Mostly because we’re the reason Azog is still here. He operates an entire mob of people; there’s no way he can control them all so they all run off and do what they please since they don’t care about the Durins. As long as they’re not doing something under Azog’s orders though, they can’t be used to find him. If Azog had gotten what he wanted from us he would have left, but you can’t exactly get your vengeance if you leave the city. Azog never used to stay in one place for too long, but because of us, Thranduil now has to deal with him.”

“But even if he left, he would still be killing people somewhere else. The problem wouldn’t be solved.”

“You know Thranduil better than almost anyone, Tauriel. He doesn’t care about anywhere else. He just wants his city safe and we’re getting in the way of that.”

“So you think things would be better if you up and left?”

“Probably. Azog would follow us along with the rest of the Gundabad and everything would be peachy for Thranduil, but Thorin’s got his honor to protect and he’s not about to risk sullying the Durin name because of a few gangsters. Plus he wants to make sure I finish college a BMU. The nicer he can make the heirs to Erebor look to the public, the better.”

“I still don’t understand why Thranduil isn’t taking all the help he can get. Why doesn’t he just work with you?” Kili began to chuckle.

“Thranduil just sees our family as another gang, a high class one, but still, a gang and Thorin is just a mob boss. We obviously can’t tell him everything about our family and he won’t work with us unless we do. At the end of the day, it’s safer for us to just keep Azog after us rather than making the case public and exposing our family while putting everyone in danger. He tried to make a deal with Thorin once: help catch Azog and he wouldn’t investigate the company for some shady business deals which were completely made up by the way!”

“What did your uncle say to that?”

“I can’t remember exactly, but it was something along the lines of ‘You can go dump shit on your face and on all your kin’.” He was surprised to hear Tauriel let out a laugh. 

“Ew. Should I be offended?”

“I’d say you’re safe since you’re not related to him by blood,” he smiled before letting out an exhausted sigh. It had been a long night, and hopefully, that had been enough to satisfy her curiosity. “So that’s the story of why Thranduil and Azog hate us and everything we’re apart of.”

“Well, Thranduil is certainly wrong about you and your brother. Can’t say much for the rest of your family since I haven’t met them, but I’m sure they’re not as bad as he makes them out to be.”

“They’re really not,” he promised. “I mean I can talk shit about them because they’re my family, but they really good people.” Kili was finally fed up with being on his back and twisting is neck to see her, so he did his best to ignore the pain in his gut and leg and slowly began to force himself up.

“What are you _doing_?” she shouted at him. 

“What does it agh! look like? I’m trying to sit up. It hurts my neck too much to have to keep turning it so far to look at you.” Tauriel rolled her eyes but quickly got up to help him. When his feet were comfortably flat on the ground, he rolled his neck around before letting it lean back on the cushion of the couch and releasing another sigh.

“Well if nothing else, I’ve learned that you are either very durable or very stubborn,” Tauriel said as she moved the towels out from underneath her before sitting down next to him.

“Ha. If you think I’m stubborn you should meet my mother, or just about anyone else in my family, though I hope you never have to meet my uncle.” They both began to laugh, although Kili had been serious. His uncle was quick to judge like Thranduil and he would probably hate Tauriel after hearing her name. It was hard enough to have to protect her from Azog, he didn’t want to have to protect her from his own family.

“I’d like to meet your mom someday.”

“You sure about that?”

“I think we’d have a lot in common. She likes keeping your ass in line, and I like kicking it to the floor.”

“That’s true, although it wasn’t my ass you kick today.”

“I keep telling you I can take care of myself. I’m just glad I finally got to prove it to you,” she grinned with pride.

“You did. However, I found something interesting about your fighting.”

“Did I do something wrong?” she smirked. “Cause I don’t know if I want to take tips about my form from someone who spent half of the last fight he was in on the ground.”

“Hey, you try winning a fight after you just got sucker punched! But no, your form was perfect from what I saw. Honestly, watching you fight with that knife in your hand was sexy.” He couldn’t help but smile when he saw her blush but didn’t let her get a word in. “I’m just a little curious as to how someone who’s only taken kickboxing classes, didn’t use any kickboxing when she fought.” Tauriel’s expression immediately dropped. 

“You noticed... I guess that means it’s my turn to hold up my end of the deal, huh?” she asked quietly and he nodded. 

“My question for you Tauriel, is why do you know krav maga?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Two chapters within days of each other? What witchcraft is this? Well, now that Kili has told his side of the story, it's time for Tauriel to open up about a few things of her own...


	12. Busted - Fili

“You know you don’t have to stay here so late, right?” Sigrid said as she continued to wipe down tables. She and Fili were standing around the back of the empty shop as Sigrid cleaned up and prepared to close for the day. Bard was busy counting the register while Bain and Tilda did dishes in the back. Fili had offered to help her clean up, but she firmly refused any assistance from him.

“What kind of bodyguard would I be if I just left you and your family here all alone?” Fili asked as he leaned against a booth with a smile on his face.

“You’re not a bodyguard,” Sigrid laughed. His grin grew wide as she caught her breath when he came up behind her and whispered in her ear.

“You’re absolutely right. I’m better.”

“Fili stop!” she laughed, playfully shoving him away. “I have to finish up! And what if Da sees you?”

“It’s not like he doesn’t know already, or need I remind you of your sister’s very loud announcement upon our return from the mall?”

“Oh gods, please don’t. It’s so embarrassing,” she blushed. Fili smiled at the memory of him dropping them back off at the coffee shop, Tilda, who had been silent the entire ride back, running to the kitchen to find her father practically screaming that they had kissed. 

“What’s embarrassing? That we’re together? Are you embarrassed to be with me, Pretty Sigrid?”

“Shut up. You know that’s not true so stop teasing me or I’m going to start calling you ‘Thor’ like your brother because of your stupid hair,” she flirted, flicking his ponytail back as she turned to face him. 

“Hey you like my stupid hair, admit it. And if calling me ‘Thor’ is meant to be an insult, I suggest you come up with something new. Last I checked being compared to a god is a compliment.” He left a kiss on her forehead and she gently leaned into it.

“How’s your brother been?” she asked innocently.

“I finally forced him out of the apartment,” he sighed. “He’s still a wreck though.” Fili hated seeing his brother so broken up. Kili had always been the black sheep and was often left out and feeling alone, but it's never been this bad before, not even when he had broken up with his actual girlfriends. Fili was kicking himself for not realizing just how important Tauriel was to his brother until it was too late. He never intended for this to happen. He had been thinking like his uncle, not like a brother. “I’m sure getting him out of his room did him some good, I just hope that he doesn’t hate me for it by the time he gets back.” 

“I’m sorry, Fili.”

“It’s not your doing. If anyone’s to blame it’s me for telling him to be the one to end it.”

“You couldn’t have known that this would happen. You thought that if he had control of the situation he would feel better about it.”

“But he doesn’t. He just feels like shit now, and he’s torturing himself by ignoring her.”

“Is she still trying to contact him?”

“Non-stop,” he said. “I keep hearing his phone go off in his room. I know he still wants to talk to her, if he didn’t he would have blocked her number, but he just lets it ring. It’s like he wants a reminder that she still exists but can’t have her. It doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know what else I can do to help him.” Kili had never been one to overly invest himself in things or hang onto the past; too used to things falling through or changing or not having anything to begin with. Instead, he was someone who went with the flow, let things come as they may and enjoy them to the fullest while they lasted, so seeing him depressed like this was killing Fili. If this continued on much longer, he was going to go out and find Tauriel himself.

“There’s not much else you can do Fili,” Sigrid said. “This is something he has to work through.”

“I just want him to be okay.” Fili pressed his forehead against Sigrid’s and she leaned forward, holding his hands. 

“And you’re an amazing brother for trying to help him through this. Heartbreak is always hard and he needs all the help he can get. He knows that you’ll be there for him like you always have, he just needs some time. Just know that I’m here for you too.”

“I know, and that means the world to me. Thank you, Sigrid.” He gave her a peck on the lips that she quickly returned and they smiled at each other before she turned to get back to work. Fili looked out the window surprised at how late it had gotten and hoped that Kili was back home by now. It wasn’t safe for them to be out when it was this dark. A single van pulled into the parking lot, probably thinking that they were still open since their lights were still on, but Fili was still wary of them. Looking over to Bard as he cleared off the counter, Fili still didn’t see Bain or Tilda meaning they were still in the back. He looked back out to the van to see four men piled out… each of them holding something in their hands.

“Bard! Get down!” Fili shouted. He quickly grabbed Sigrid around her waist and pulled her to the floor with him behind a support beam just before multiple gunshots rang out and they heard the glass doors shatter. “Shit!”

“Fili! Are you okay? What’s happening?” Sigrid asked in a panic on the ground beneath him.

“Bard! Get to Bain and Tilda!” Fili called out, hoping that the lack of response means that he was already gone. “Sig, you need to stay here, and stay down.” Fili could hear the glass cracking under then men’s feet as the walked in the building. He quickly crawled across the floor, grabbed his bag, and pulled out a gun and a knife, trying to ignore fact that the sight of them had made Sigrid’s eyes go wide. “I don’t know if they’re here for me or for your dad, but I’m going to get you guys out of here safe, understand?” 

“Fili… What… I…”

“Do you understand?” he repeated more firmly.

“I-I’m scared. What’s going to happen?”

“You’re going to be alright,” he promised her as he squeezed her hand. “I won’t let thing happen to you. Cover your ears!” He didn’t wait for her response as he stood up, reached around the beam and began to fire back, successfully hitting one of the men in the shoulder, but still cursing his poor aim; Kili had always been a better shot than him. Quickly moving back around the pillar, he saw bits of drywall fly past his eyes as more shots rang out and looked down to Sigrid with her hands over her ears as she cried out in fear. This needed to end quickly. He tried to track in his head how many shots had been fired, but couldn’t be sure that anyone had run out or had extra clips.

“Come out, come out Bowman!” one of the men snarled. Fili could see in the reflection of a lone unbroken window that two of the men were slowly making their way around the shop closer to him and Sigrid. The third must be taking care of the guy that he had shot. “We’ve got your daughter and her little boy toy out here with us! We need him alive but her… not so much.” Fili looked down at Sigrid and prayed to Mahal she couldn’t hear anything.

“Didn’t expect to see you here Fili,” a different voice spoke closer than the other. “Smaug warned us you’d be around, but we had no idea you’d actually be here this late. It’s always nice to get two birds with one stone. You really should come with us. Bolg probably already has your brother and we’d really like a matching set.”

“Take this and go hide under the table over there,” Fili whispered to Sigrid as he nudged her with his leg and passed her his knife. Her eyes were full of confusion as she looked at the blade fearfully, but reached out and took it anyway. “Now.” She quickly did as he said, crawling under a table directly in front of him against the wall, and Fili took a deep breath as he watched the men move closer, slightly more relaxed now that she wasn’t quite as close as she was before. 

Each man came around the side of him and attempted to grab on. Fili jumped towards the one on the right, grabbing his neck near the outside shoulder and pulled while his other hand pushed against his arm, making sure not to fire the gun still in his hand. He twisted his body so that the man stumbled around him and was now in between Fili and the other attacker. Fili shoved him away before putting all of his weight behind a kick, sending the two men falling to the ground.

“If this is all you have for me,” Fili growled as he pointed his gun down at them. “There’s no way you’ve gotten Kili.”

“Don’t be so sure of that Blondie,” one of them hissed. He looked over to see the third man charging for him. Fili quickly turned to point the gun to him, but the other man quickly reached out and grabbed it. The gun went off in Fili’s hand, but hit no one, allowing the man to twist the weapon out of Fili’s grip. Fili pushed the attacker's arm up into the air forcing the gun to fire again before kicking the man in the stomach and causing him to stumble backward. He knew his gun was out of ammo now and was somewhat thankful he had one less weapon to worry about, but if the other men behind him got too close, he would be in trouble. He glanced behind and sent a well-placed kick to the closest man’s face, most likely breaking his nose. Fili charged for the man who hadn’t realized the gun was empty and quickly punched him in the face, sending him crashing to the floor. 

“Fun’s over pretty boy,” a voice behind him threatened. Fili turned to see the second man behind him pointing his gun at his head and the first was using the table next to him for support to stand up while he held his other hand over his own bleeding face. Fili stood calmly, unwavering despite the barrel aimed towards his chest. “You just had to go and play Superman didn’t ya?”

“You know I never run from fights,” Fili smiled. “It’s in my blood.”

“How would you like your blood all over the floor?”

“You can’t kill me.”

“Don’t mean I can’t hurt ya.”

“And yet here I stand without a scratch.” 

“You really wanna test that?” The man, now angered by Fili’s taunts, went to punch him, but Fili was able to shove the man’s arm aside right before punching him in the throat and as he began to fall over, gasping for breath, Fili reached down to grab his second knife from inside of his boot. He removed it seamlessly and pointed into under the nose of the bleeding man in one fluid motion while he put his foot on the neck of the man still gasping on the ground.

“You should let Smaug know,” Fili growled. “That if he wants to take me down and bring me to Azog, he’s going to have to do better than low-class grunts like you.”

“Like we said,” the bleeding man spit. “We didn’t come for you, we came for Bowman.”

“Why? What more do you want from him?”

“You really think Smaug is going to tell ‘low-class grunts’ like us shit like that?” he laughed. 

“You’re going to walk out of here, and you're going to tell Smaug to back the fuck off,” Fili threatened. 

“I don’t think either of us are going anywhere,” he smiled. Fili was confused until saw the man slowly begin to raise his hands above his head and heard more people quickly shuffling over broken glass.

“Don’t move! Drop your weapons!” voices barked. Fili let out a sigh as he lifted his foot off the man’s neck and tossed the knife onto the ground. He slowly raised his hands above him and waited for the officers to rip them back down and cuff him. This was not his night. As his rights were read, he could still see Sigrid still hiding under the table and was satisfied that at least she was now safe. He made sure not to resist once he felt the cold metal against his wrist and carefully walked with the cop that was pulling him outside under the parking lot lights.

“Fili?” he heard from behind him. “Stop! Let him go! Fili was protecting me! Don’t arrest him!”

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to move away,” the officer said as she ran in front of them.

“He wasn’t one of them! He saved my life!” 

“Ma’am, please. This man had a weapon when we found him and needs to be processed. If what you say is true then he will be released after questioning. Now please back away.”

“It’s okay Sigrid,” Fili assured her. “Go find your family and find the EMT’s, make sure no one’s hurt.”

“But…”

“I’ll be fine. Go.” He sent her off with a smile and watched her hesitantly walk and then run to find her family before being forced to keep moving forward. The parking lot of the coffee shop was now filled with five police cars, two ambulances, multiple officers, and a growing crowd of spectators. Fili was able to catch a glance of Sigrid hugging her family, all of them appearing to be completely unharmed, before being pushed to sit on the hood of a police car. He looked at the officer who he had been cuffed by now standing before him and couldn’t help but smile. He had the same jaw as his father and the same short platinum blond hair. It’s impossible not to peg them as father and son.

“Can you tell me what happened here, Sir?”

“It’s nice to see you too Legolas. How’s your dad doing? Is he here too?”

“Answer the question,” he demanded.

“What? No time for pleasantries? That’s a shame. Well to answer your question, I was hanging out with the owners as they were closing when four armed men came in and began to attack.”

“And you decided to fight back?”

“That’s correct, Officer Greenleaf,” Fili continued to smile.

“What made you think that was smart of you to do?”

“Are you suggesting that I should have stood by idly as others were threatened, Officer? I have the training and the experience in combat to protect those who cannot, not unlike yourself Sir, so I did what I felt was right and protected those in need.” Fili tried to shift slightly but couldn’t do much with his arms behind his back.

“Do you have a license to carry a concealed weapon, Fili?”

“So you do remember me! I was so afraid you had forgotten who I was after all these years.” Legolas only glared back. “Yes I do, in my wallet which is in my back pocket. Would you like me to get it for you?” Legolas ignored Fili and reached behind him to grab his wallet. “Why Legolas! I had no idea you felt that way!”

“What are you doing here Fili?” Legolas asked now growing exhausted with Fili’s antics. He walked around to the side of his car and began typing Fili’s information into a computer.

“It’s that a professional question or a personal?”

“You know who the Bowmans are.”

“Personal then.”

“And you’re just going to casually spend time with them? You’re putting them in danger.”

“They already were in danger,” Fili hissed. “Smaug has been keeping his eye on them. I saw him here weeks ago.”

“We know. We’ve been watching him too, but you getting involved only puts them in more danger.”

“Or I could actually protect them like I just did! If I hadn’t been here, they would have been taken or killed by the time you and the boys in blue arrived.”

“You and your brother just can’t stay out of trouble can you?” Thranduil stated as he walked around to them from the other side of the car. “Though at least one of you is intelligent enough to know when they should walk away.”

“Thranduil, you are here!” Fili’s smile seethed with venom. “Thanks for that whole thing with my brother. He’s doing great by the way, not that you give a damn.”

“Chief,” Legolas began, standing a bit straighter. “Fili’s weapon permit checks out and he claims that his actions inside were in self-defense and for the protection of the Bowman family.”

“Does he now? That is a possible scenario that could have played out in this situation. However,” Thranduil continued. “Do you know what I think might have happened?”

“Please. Enlighten me,” Fili mocked. 

“I think that the Bowman family was closing up when you decided to stick around and invite trouble because you live for the thrill of being in danger no matter who gets hurt in the process. Despite knowing that a dangerous gangster is targeting you and your family, you started to spend time with the Bowmans who ended up in the crossfires as a result of the men chasing you. Perhaps you even knew that you would be attacked tonight and thought that you could take care of things yourself. That way you could get your fix and gain some hero credibility as well. Does that sound like a possible scenario?” Fili listened to Thranduil’s rant fuming behind a mask of indifference. This pompous asshole though he had everything figured out didn’t he? Fili found himself to actually grateful for the cuffs around his wrists because they were the only things preventing him from punching Thranduil in his face right there. He took a deep breath and held it for a moment before releasing it along with some of his frustration, or at least he tried to. Anger management had never been his strong suit.

“Wow. Impressive, Thranduil,” Fili mused. 

“That’s Chief to you.”

“My apologies, Chief. I must say you are quite the storyteller. You really should write books. I’m sure you’d become a world-famous fiction author.”

“Admit it Fili,” Thranduil glared. “These scum came after you and your disgusting family and because of that, you almost got an innocent family killed.”

“That’s not true!” The three men looked over to see Sigrid standing a few feet away and Fili’s heart dropped. He needed to convince her to leave or Thranduil would tell her everything and she would never want to see him again.

“Sig, go back and take care of—”

“My family is fine, Fili. No one was hurt thanks to you.”

“Ma’am,” Legolas approached her. “I told you that you need to—”

“It’s true that Fili hurt those men,” she continued to bark at the two officers, “and they may have attacked him because he was there, but it was in self-defense and those men came to our shop with the intention of harming my family alone. Fili had nothing to do with it!”

“A case of the ‘wrong place, wrong time’ scenario? Ms. …” Thranduil paused.

“Sigrid.”

“Ah yes, the eldest Bowman. Well Ms. Sigrid, how exactly do you know they did not approach your shop with the intention of harming Fili specifically?”

“Because they said so,” she stated firmly. “After they shot out the glass, they began shouting for my da and attempted to use me to lure him out. They said that they hadn’t expected Fili to be there and that it would make things easier if he just came along with them.”

“Interesting. And do you know why they were after your father?”

“I’m sure you remember Sir, that my da was once a lawyer. He has a lot of enemies.”

“I see. What about Fili? What could these criminals possibly want with him?” Sigrid didn’t answer. Fili could see her arms shaking at her sides. He begged Mahal that she would see reason and just walk away before—

“Ms. Sigrid, are you aware of who you are defending?” Before that. It was too late now. Thranduil was going to tell her everything. Fili hung his head in defeat and prepared himself to join his brother in heartache.

“Yes.”

“Are you certain?” Thranduil pressed with such confidence that Fili cringe.

“Yes,” she repeated faster than Fili though she would.

“So this young man has told you that he is Fili Durin, nephew of Thorin Durin-Oakenshield, heir to the Durin fortune and Erebor Gold and Jewelry, and the primary target of the dangerous gang leader Azog the Defiler and his gang of psychotic killers?”

“He did not admit these things to me,” she replied sternly, “but I know of them and who he is.” Fili snapped his eyes back to her in shock find her gazing back at him with an apologetic smile. She knew already. She actually knew. But did her father know? Her siblings? For how long? Why hadn't she said anything? Why didn't she stay away?

“And yet you still you choose to defend him?” Despite the shock and relief swirling around his mind, Fili was still able to thoroughly enjoy the confused look on Thranduil’s face. “This… this—”

“Yes, and if you wish to continue with your fabricated story and claim that Fili lead those men here, then it would be my families decision whether or not to have him charged and we will not.”

“Yes, well I’m afraid that I’m going to need your father’s statement on that matter.”

“And you shall have it,” Bard said now standing behind his daughter. “My daughter’s account is true. This man protected my family and should be treated as a hero, not a criminal. I do not wish to him arrested and will not be pressing charges in any way. Release him.” For a moment, no one moved. Nobody was sure if this was some sort of practical joke or not and just looked at each other, the flashing lights of the police car illuminating their faces.

“Very well,” Thranduil finally spoke.

“Dad, are you sure? We can still charge him with—”

“Release him, Lieutenant. They have made their decision, now they must live with it and it’s consequences.” Thranduil commanded. With a frustrated look, Legolas pulled Fili off the car and unlocked the handcuffs, allowing Fili to rub the soreness away from his wrist. He barely caught Sigrid as she ran straight into his chest, knocking some wind out of him as she wrapped her arms tightly around him and he quickly did the same. He thought he was going to lose her, twice, but she was still here. 

“You’ve known?” he whispered in her ear without letting go. “You and your father?”

“It wasn’t that hard for Da to figure out after Smaug came by,” she muttered back, her shaky voice muffled by her face being pressed into his shoulder. “He told me the next day. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't know how you would react and… Oh Fili, I was so terrified! Are you okay? Were you hurt?”

“I’m fine, shh,” he assured her as he brushed her hair with his hand. “You’re fine. Your family is fine. No one got hurt. We’re all safe.”

“Ms. Sigrid,” Legolas interrupted. The two of them parted to look at the lieutenant and noticed that Thranduil had turned away from the spectacle. “Based on tonight’s attack, we have reason to believe that Azog and the Gundabad will be uncharacteristically active tonight. If you and your family do not feel safe, we are willing to provide you with police protection for a short time.”

“With all due respect Sir,” Sigrid glowered before looking to her father. “While I cannot speak for the rest of my family, I would much rather remain with the person who saved my life rather than the people who intended to condemn him for doing so.” Fili couldn’t help but smile as he held her close. She certainly was too good for him. 

“Very well. If you will excuse me,” he frowned and turned back to talk with his father. Fili quickly pulled Sigrid away with him to get away from the officers only to find Bard who had a firm, and unreadable look on his face moving too quickly intercept them. In his short life, Fili has sat in on diplomatic meetings with his uncle, addressed powerful clan leaders without fear, and been groomed for years to become the leader of one of the world's most capable leaders, but he still found his legs shaking as he approached Sigrid’s father.

“Sir,” Fili began as he stopped and leaned into a bow, “please forgive me for not revealing my identity to you sooner. I hid the truth from you, and in doing so I put your family’s lives in great danger. You and your family have already experienced a great deal of grief and difficulty only for me to thrust more upon you with little consideration of the consequences and for that, I am truly sorry. You all deserve better than this and on my honor, I will do everything within my power to make it right.” Bard stood quietly, measuring the worth of Fili’s words as Fili felt Sigrid’s hands tighten around his own. Even if Sigrid were willing to see him after all of this, would her father even let her? Could this still be goodbye?

“You have indeed caused a great deal of hardship for my family, though I fear it would have come to pass eventually, regardless of whether or not you had come into our lives. While I was not pleased to discover that you had hidden something so important from me and continued to be present in our lives despite the dangers you knew followed you,” he looked over to his daughter and smiled, “I know that things would be far worse if you had not. We each share a common enemy and I know that my daughter truly cares for you. Because of this, I agree with what she said before; after what just happened I would much rather her be in your charge than anyone else’s at the moment. So long as you promise to hold true to that honor which your family claims to hold so dearly, you have my trust.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Fili rose as relief washed over him. He let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding and Sigrid squeezed his hand. “I care for your daughter very much as well. I swear won’t let anything happen to her.” He could hardly believe it. Everyone was okay. Nobody died, and now he could—

His phone let off a light chime, interrupting the mood around them. Reaching into his pocket, Fili found that he had a text from his brother.

_Fili, this is Tauriel. Kili is okay,_  
_but we were attacked in town_  
_and he’s been stabbed in the_  
_leg. I can’t tell how serious it is,_  
_but he didn’t want to go to the_  
_hospital so I brought him to my_  
_apartment and I did my best to_  
_clean it up. Here’s my address._  
_Come by when you can. Keep_  
_your eyes open and please stay_  
_safe tonight._

“Shit. I’m sorry Sir, I have to go,” Fili began to walk off but Sigrid held tight and continued with him.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Sigrid asked.

“We weren’t the only targets tonight. They went after Kili too. He’s been stabbed.”

“Oh gods.”

“Where was he attacked?” Bard asked as he kept pace with them.

“Somewhere in town. Tauriel says he’s okay and she took him to her apartment since—”

“ _ **Your brother is with my daughter?**_ ” Thranduil shouted from directly behind them, looming like an angry demon. 

“And now I understand what you meant when you said things were complicated between your families,” Sigrid muttered as she hid behind Fili.

“If my daughter has been harmed in any way because of your useless, reckless, disgrace of a brother, I swear to you that not even the Valar themselves will be able to save him from me!”

“First of all she’s not even your real daughter!” Fili shouted as he got in Thranduil’s face. Now that he knew he wasn’t going to be charged with anything, he let the frustration he had been holding inside fly freely from his mouth. “And second, she has been harassing my brother for the past week so if anything happened to her, it’s because she put herself there! Don’t you dare think for one second that my brother is to blame for anything!”

“You watch yourself, Durin!” Thranduil threatened. “Nothing good ever comes from associating with your kind and I will not have Tauriel be dragged into this. Legolas! You’re coming with me! The rest of the officers can handle things here!” Thranduil and Legolas quickly ran over to their cars and prepared to leave.

“I have to make sure my brother is okay,” Fili said as he tried to leave again, but Sigrid continued to run with him.

“I’m coming with you!” she stated with tears pricking her eyes. “After everything that just happened, I can’t…” Fili looked over to her father.

“I have to settle things here and take care of Bain and Tilda. You take care of her. Go.”

“Thank you, Sir!” Hand in hand, the two young lovers rushed over to Fili’s car and began the race to Tauriel’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, so much for your incredibly kind and supportive comments! It really motivates me to get more of this done and it really means a lot!


	13. Then and Now - Tauriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Fic tags apply to this chapter!

She wasn’t shocked that Kili could figure out her fighting style just from watching it. He was certainly more apt at fighting than he had lead her to believe. After everything she had learned tonight, she realized that he had been hiding far more from her that she thought, but this was not about him. He had asked her a very simple question that unfortunately had a complicated answer. 

He sat in front of her expectantly, his whole body facing her with one leg over the side of the couch and the other bent in front of him. He was waiting patiently for her to answer his question but made no sign that he was going to force it out of her if she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t even sure how to begin and realized that she couldn’t look him in the eyes. So instead she stared down at his hands, red and raw from the fight, and then switched to hers, which weren't fairing any better.

“You um,” she wavered. She shifted towards him and tucked her foot under herself so she was almost mirroring his body. “You said that you’re family comes from a long line of fighters.”

“Yeah,” he answered. “Durins have always been skilled fighters for as long as we’ve been around.”

“I don’t know how exactly you guys go about learning everything, but I haven't always been… well like I am now.” She could feel her voice on the verge of trembling before she could hear it. “I was pretty damn naïve thinking nothing could ever happen to me. It was so stupid. You’d think that being adopted by a police officer I’d know to take precautions right? I thought that no one would dare come near me because of who my godfather was, but for some godforsaken reason, I thought that everyone knew that. The truth is no one cares who you or your parents are.” She stopped herself when she realized she was clenching her fist painfully and quickly released them. She didn’t want to be angry with herself anymore. Not after all these years. She was stronger now, better, different, and yet...

“Tauriel.” His voice rang in her ears and the sound of her name chimed softly with concern. She was grounded again, back in her apartment, and the haze of frustration cleared from her mind and she saw his face. His brow was creased with worry and the warm comfort of his eyes she normally felt was still there, but tinted with regret. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I understand.”

“No, I’m okay,” she promised. She let out a small laugh at how ridiculous she was being. Since when had she been so dramatic? “I haven’t even told Arwen this, but I want you to know. I want you to know why I train, why I fight so hard.”

“Why Tauriel? Why do you fight?” That was the question, wasn't it? Everyone has an answer. Kili did it because it was what his family did; it was in his blood. Thranduil did it to keep his city safe; for the pride he felt in the work he was doing. Legolas fought and became an officer to protect the people he cares for; people like her.

“I fight because I don’t want to be hurt again,” she admitted. She could see in his eyes that it broke his heart to hear that, she practically watched him shatter before her, but the moment didn't last as horror and recollection set in. He finally realized that she hadn’t changed just to make herself more comfortable; she wasn’t wearing make-up just to look pretty for him. He shot his hand out, pulled her hand close to his face and saw the multiple cuts and dark bruises covering her still swollen knuckles. Carefully releasing her hand as if he might accidentally hurt her more, he continued to move slowly up to her hair and brushed it away from her brow. He could see a small bandage used to close up the cut over her left eye. He ghosted his palm over her arm, too afraid to even touch her now, and so she slowly and painfully slid her sweater off her arms to reveal the fresh purple and yellow bruises that crawled all along both of her arms. He frowned at her stomach, not even moving anywhere near it, but she lifted up her shirt just enough so that he could see the large black and blue imprint on her right side just above her hip which pulsed with waves of pain if she shifted the wrong way. 

“Oh gods, Tauriel.” His voice cracked. “I… I…”

“This isn't your fault!” she stopped him, taking both of his hands in hers. He tried to pull away but she held tight. She promised before that he wouldn’t slip through her fingers again. “This didn’t happen because of you. Please don’t blame yourself!”

“I couldn’t protect you. Gods, is your face…?” She nodded slightly.

“It’s a bit colorful, but nothing some overpriced concealer can’t hide,” she tried to smile. The area around her cut still ached as well, but she wasn’t about to let him know that.

“We should’ve gone to the hospital! Why did you listen to me? You- you were slammed against a cement wall! Fuck! I’m such a selfish dick, you could have a concussion!” he panicked.

“I’m fine Kili! I don’t have a concussion. I know what day it is, I know the year, I know my last name, and I know who you are and you are not to blame for this.”

“Of course I am! If you hadn’t been with me, if I hadn't gotten involved, they wouldn't have found out about you. You wouldn’t have been hurt! Are you in pain?”

“Just a few aches, but I’m not nearly as bad as you.”

“Gods dammit and you had to take care of me! Fuck Tauriel! I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry!”

“Kili stop!” she shouted and he quickly shut his mouth. “Please Kili, don’t start despising yourself because of what happened to me because I couldn’t protect myself. I already told you that I don’t hate you so please, don’t blame yourself anymore.” She watched emotions play through his eyes like a movie. The sorrow he felt for her pain, the guilt he still held for letting it happen, relief that she didn’t hate him, but then a wildfire burst behind his eyes.

“I’m going to kill Azog,” he snarled.

“Not tonight you’re not. Neither of us is in any condition to fight anyone, especially each other.” They sat quietly for a moment, both letting their emotions settle down. 

“Is he the one who hurt you?” he asked with a hint of malice still remaining on his tongue. “You said that you fight because you don’t want to be hurt again. Was he the one who hurt you?”

“I don’t know. I certainly don’t think he was directly involved, but I’m not sure if one of his gangsters were responsible.”

“What happened?” he asked after a moment. This was it then.

“I was eighteen,” she began, taking a deep breath before swallowing it down. “It was the middle of the summer and I was walking home from a friends house alone a little after dark. Thranduil said he would leave work or make Legolas pick me up, but I told him it was only a ten-minute walk, what could possibly happen?” She became frustrated when she felt a tear roll down her cheek. When had she started crying? She quickly brought her hand up to wipe it away but winced when she put too much pressure on her cheek. For a moment she had forgotten that she had bruises still surfacing under her make-up. She was surprised when Kili brought his hand up and pulled hers away. He moved towards her face and very slowly and carefully brushed his thumb across her cheek to remove the tear. She closed her eyes lost in thought, wondering how such strong, warrior hands could have such a soft touch, but then he quickly pulled away, which only served to frustrate her again.

“Tauriel, I don’t want you to keep telling me if it’s too painful.” She smiled back at him as she took his hand in hers again, feeling less resistance this time.

“I’m fine, Kili, I promise. Just like I promised to tell you what happened. It… wasn’t like I hadn’t walked home alone before, so I didn’t feel like I was in danger, but a high school girl walking through the city… it's never safe.

“I was only four minutes away from my house when I got pulled into an alley. You’d think that I wouldn’t be able to forget the face of the man who frightened me so much, but I was too focused on the knife he held to my throat.” She felt Kili’s hands tense in hers as she continued. “I tried to get away, I was actually able to run for a little bit, but then I ran into a fence with no way out and…” her voice hitched, stuck somewhere between her throat and her tongue. 

“You were trapped,” he finished for her. “That’s why...” he trailed off.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I can’t describe how scary it is not having anyway out, feeling helpless and unable to do anything. It’s… it’s…” His stare cut her off and this time he wasn’t just asking her to keep it to herself, he was begging. He didn’t want her to go through those emotions again, even if it was just a memory, but she kept going. “H-He backed me into a corner and he… started grabbing at my clothes, ripping them and… hitting me.” The moment flashed in her mind for a second and she did her best not to wince. “He hit me a lot Kili…” she sobbed.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he said carefully brushing the tears from her eyes without touching her too much. She brought up her own hand and held his to her face so he wouldn't pull away this time. “I’m right here. It’s not happening. It won’t happen again. I won’t let it.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” she continued through her tears. “I was too afraid to even scream.” She continued to cry, ruining her makeup and holding onto his hand like it was a lifeline. They stayed like that for a few minutes, holding onto each other.

“But then…” she smiled for a moment as her sobs stopped. “Someone came. Some… kid, two maybe three years younger than me came out of nowhere. He punched the guy straight in the face and stood between us even though he was so much smaller. I didn’t want to leave him on his own against that guy, but he kept yelling at me to get out of there. Gods, no matter what I said, he wouldn’t let me stay to make sure he made it out alright,” she laughed as she smiled at the memory of a young boy swooping in to save the day. She started to carefully wipe away the rest of her tears and blindly attempt to clean up her make-up; she must look like a complete mess to him now. “So I ran away. I ran straight home to Legolas and told him what happened. He called Thranduil who sent some people out to the alley where I was attacked. The boy was gone but the man who hurt me was just within an inch of his life.

“From that day on I wasn’t going to let myself be a victim. I wasn’t ever going to be trapped again.”

“So you took krav maga classes,” Kili finished for her. “And you learned how to use knives so they couldn’t be used against you ever again.”

“No one’s gotten that close to me since,” she stated.

“Until tonight.” 

“Kili,” she warned.

“Sorry.” Tauriel realized that tonight was something he was never really going to get over. He was going to feel guilty about what happened to her forever, but she didn’t want that to cripple him. She didn’t want tonight to be filled with only painful memories.

“I tried to figure out who that boy was from that day on. I never saw his face, so I couldn’t even tell people what he looked like. I searched for years.”

“Did you ever find him?” Kili asked. 

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” she smiled and moved a little closer to him.

“And what happened?” there was a hesitance in his voice as he asked her.

“I repaid my debt.” She said nothing more as she watched Kili struggle with her response, which clearly wasn’t enough for him.

“Well how’d you find him?”

“Accidentally actually. I didn’t even realize it was him until I had spent time with him.”

“Did he recognize you?”

“No. Even if he did see my face, I’m sure that at the time it was rather damaged.”

“So how do you know it was him?” Tauriel swallowed hard as she made him let go of her hand. She reached out, somewhat hesitant, and ran her fingers slowly over the ink marks on his shoulder.

“I didn’t see his face, but I saw his tattoo,” she confessed. She could see the pieces begin to fall together for him and he looked back at her in bewilderment and shock. “At the coffee shop, I didn’t recognize your tattoo as your mark as a Durin, Kili. I recognized it because you were the one who saved me.” He didn’t answer for a few moments, glancing back and forth between her hand on his arm, her face, and the empty space between them.

“I… I remember that night,” he finally admitted, still trying to process everything. “I remember… walking through the city and seeing his crazy man hitting someone so I hopped the fence. I remember thinking that I couldn't let him get away with it, but I never imagined… I had no idea that you were...” 

“Like I said, I’ve repaid my debt now,” she smiled as her fingers continued to trace the Celtic looking design. “I’ve wanted to find you forever Kili, to thank you for that night. You saved my life, so thank you.”

“Y-You're welcome,” he stuttered. Tauriel began cursing his swollen cheek and his beard; they made it too hard for her to read him. She wasn’t sure if he was blushing, but she could tell that he wasn't used to such praise.

“I'm happy to see that you made it out okay. He didn't hurt you did he?”

“It wasn't anything I couldn't handle. One or two punches to the face.” His expression suddenly dropped into a frown. “Clearly I haven't become that much better of a fighter.”

“Don't say that. That was one guy you took on five years ago. Tonight you took out three and you fought against Bolg _after_ getting sucker punched. You're strong, Kili.”

He sighed and turned away. “I'm not good enough though am I? I wasn't able to stop Bolg from beating the shit out of me, or you."

Tauriel watched as Kili continued to tear himself down inside his own mind. Could he really not see his own value? “Kili, look at me. Do you have any idea how important you are to me? How much I care about you?” 

He transformed into a deer in headlights, certainly not expecting her to ask him that. “I can't say that I do,” he answered honestly.

“It doesn't matter that we've only known each other for a few weeks. To me, right now, you are the most important person in my life.” His expression was almost painful like he wanted desperately to believe her, but for some reason still didn't. It would seem that she would just have to make him believe. She carefully moved closer to him, their legs now touching as she leaned towards him. “Do you remember what I said to you in the car the first time we went to the gym together?”

“That you really like knives?” he joked. She giggled a little bit but shook her head. “I don't know. What?”

“I told you that no one touches me unless I want them to.” His expression was blank, still not sure what she was trying to say. She traced her hand down the muscles in his arms until she reached his hand, taking a deep breath before pulling it closer to her body. His eyes went wide as she carefully placed his hand on her chest just above her left breast so that the heel of his hand brushed against the neckline of her shirt, his fingers twitching atop her collarbone and the edge of her neck. 

“Kili,” she paused for a moment, wanting to be sure that he heard her clearly as she looked into his eyes. “I want you to.”

Neither of them moved while they sat in silence. Tauriel wasn't sure what Kili was going to do, or what she actually wanted him to do, but she felt goose bumps rise on her skin as he moved his hand up the side of her neck. She leaned in closer as his fingers twisted up into her hair and began playing with it. Her heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest when gravity suddenly shifted directions, pulling them together and letting their lips meet for the first time.

Kili’s lips were slightly chapped, but they were still soft and warm. She could still feel how swollen they were from when he had been punched, so she made sure to be careful and move slowly. He was so hesitant, gentle, and obviously holding back, so when he started to pull away, she leaned into him again to make sure that he knew that this wasn’t some fluke; this is what she wanted. When they parted for air, Kili let his forehead rest against hers.

“Wake up Kili,” he whispered to himself with his eyes still closed. “You’ve blacked out again. She is far, far away right now. It’s just a dream.” With a smile, she pressed against him.

“Have you dreamed of this before?” she asked, her heart skipping a beat or two.

“Many times.”

“Would you prefer this to be a dream?”

“Gods no,” he breathed. “But I don’t know if I believe this is real.” He finally opened his eyes, a sparkle of mischief within them to match the grin that she had fallen in love with. 

“Perhaps I need some more convincing.”

“Interesting. And what would I need to do in order to prove to you that this is indeed reality?”

“While normally I’d say pinch me, given my physical condition, I don’t think that would be the smartest thing to do.”

“That’s true,” she laughed. “Even if this was a dream though, I don’t want it to end.”

“So let’s make the most of it before we both wake up.” He quickly brought his mouth to hers again and she eagerly returned his affection. Tauriel’s head was swimming when she felt his tongue run along the seam of her lips and as she opened them, she couldn’t believe that it was possible for drowning to feel so good. She could taste traces of blood on his lips as she let her own tongue fight back and run along his swollen mouth. The warmth of his lips seemed to be taking her breath away, but she couldn’t let her pleasure distract her. She had to remind herself that they had both just been in a fight and as poor as she felt, he was in far worse condition than she was; she didn’t want to hurt him by mistake. 

Kili however, seemed to have other ideas. He didn't hold back anymore as he kissed her passionately, pulling all of her closer to his warm body. He cradled her face gently in his hands, not minding whatever pain he felt as he kissed her, but he but he didn’t dare cause her any further harm. Their bodies had shifted closer to each other, legs now tangled as Tauriel pressed herself against him to keep balanced and felt the heat radiating from his exposed skin like a furnace. Her hands ran over his chest, careful to avoid the bruises as her fingers trickled through his hair. They tickled her fingertips and as the stubble on his face scratched at her cheeks, she couldn’t help but begin to giggle.

“Have I done something amusing?” he asked with a smile, clearly trying to hide the fact that he needed to catch his breath.

“No. Not at all.” She could feel her cheeks becoming flushed under his hands, embarrassed that she had made him stop. “You’re beard just tickles is all. Your chest hair does too.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No!” she answered too fast. “I like it, I do. I’ve just… I’ve never been with someone who had so much hair on their body.”

“Well I’ve never been with someone as beautiful as you.” She scoffed at that.

“I’m sure I don’t look particularly beautiful right now after fighting and crying. I bet my makeup has washed away; you can probably see my bruises now.”

“Tauriel,” he whispered. He removed his hands from her cheeks and brushed her hair away from her brow, exposing the cut to him. He slowly traced what she could only imagine to be the outlines of the marks on her face from where she had been hit. “Something that’s been damaged isn’t any less beautiful. You might little messy, but I look at you and I still see poppies and starlight and porcelain.”

“You talk about me like I’m something too delicate to hold,” she frowned in frustration. She was pleased that he was feeling well enough for sappy poetry again, and was flattered that he was saying such beautiful things, but didn’t she just finish telling him that she could handle herself?

“I’ve always seen you as a warrior Tauriel, more so now than ever,” he promised. “Just because something looks fragile doesn’t mean it is. Poppy seeds can incapacitate a person, stars are made up of chaotic burning fire, porcelain can cut you when it’s broken, and when you aren’t handled with care you kick people in the face apparently.” She knew what he was doing, and that made it all the more frustrating to her when she found herself laughing when she didn’t want to. “You are a storm with skin, and that hasn’t changed, but that skin is not made of steel. All humans are weak; just look at me.” He pulled back showing off his damaged body. She wondered why his mangled flesh made him look resilient, but her look broken. 

“I am Kili, but when I look at you I see someone who can take a punch and still look like a model.” His distorted expression of confusion made her smirk, but only for a second.

“I wouldn’t ever say I looked like a model, and I'm certainly not tall enough to be one. Should I be concerned about your eyesight right now?”

“Trust me Kili,” she hummed as she moved her hand from his chest to his cheek to trace his jawline. “If you weren’t so busy burying your face in your sketchbook and running from psychotic gang members, you’d have a hard time fending people off with those, and I quote: ‘devilish good looks’ of yours.” He tossed his head back and laughed.

“My point is, that these bruises and scars still hurt. No matter how they make me look, they’re still a sign of weakness; proof that I can be fragile too, but they don't make either of us actually weak. Why can’t we be both fragile and strong? Why do beautiful and broken have to be so different? Mosaics are made up of broken glass, but you wouldn’t go punching them would you?” Tauriel smiled at his words. Perhaps she had been too critical of herself after all this time. 

After she had been attacked when she was eighteen, Legolas and Thranduil smothered her more than they had before, never letting her leave their sight, constantly checking up on her and making sure she didn't so much as break a nail. She felt fragile because people were treating her that way and hated it more than anything. Since then she had never told anyone about what happened to her, too afraid that people would start treating her like she was broken like her family had, but not Kili. Even now after she told him everything, Kili didn't see her past as a weakness, he saw how it made her stronger. Only time would tell if he continued to see her that way and not damaged like Thranduil still does, but for now she was so relieved that he didn’t see her as someone that was breakable, she hadn't even realized that a smile spread across her face until he was smiling back, clearly satisfied with the effect his speech had on her.

“How do you do that? How is it that you always know what to say to make me feel better?”

“You’re the one who said I have a silver tongue,” he winked.

“I also seem to recall asking you to put it to good use,” she grinned, surprised to find that his arm was already wrapping around her side, carefully avoiding her bruise and pulling her to his lap. His other hand was under her chin as he ran his thumb over her bottom lip.

“Is that an invitation?”

“Do you choose to accept it?” They both laughed before colliding again in another passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands traveled all over her body, causing her to tremble in his arms as his fingers moved from her chest, to her waist, to her hips, to her thighs. His fingers moved delicately over every part of her like he was blind and she was braille. As he ran his tongue along her bottom lip once more, she moaned into his mouth and ran her hands through his hair, twisting the long tresses through her fingers and pulling him closer to her.

She had been kissed many times before by other men who claimed to love her, perhaps they even had, but as her lips melted with Kili’s, as their tongues danced, as their bodies molded together, she felt like it was her first time all over again. It felt like they were on equal ground, neither of them holding back or putting in more emotion than the other because they were giving themselves to each other completely. She wished she hadn’t wasted so much time with him studying or sparring when they could have been doing this. It felt long overdue; a thousand years overdue.

As he snaked his hands up from her thighs back towards her hips, she felt him urge her to move closer when his hands gripped her ass and pulled her to him. She pushed on his shoulders slightly, pressing his back against the sofa as she rose ever so slightly above him so that their lips remained connected. She lifted her leg up to straddle him when he suddenly let out a painful hiss.

“Ah! Shit!”

“Oh my gods, your leg!” she gasped practically jumping off of him onto the other side of the sofa. She’d been so wrapped up in him that she ignored her own rule. “I completely forgot! Shit! Are you okay? Did any of the stitches pop?”

“I’m fine,” he promised as he unclenched his teeth. “Everything is okay, I promise. Please just…” he trailed off before he began to chuckle.

“Um, are you sure you’re all right?” she asked as she crawled closer to him.

“I swear,” he grinned as he waved his hand, encouraging her to come closer. “Come here, you won’t hurt me any more than I already have been.” She hesitantly snuggled up beside him as he wrapped both arms around her, careful not to pull her too close and agitate either of their injuries. They leaned their heads against each other before Kili planted a kiss on her temple. 

“You promise you're okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine, just frustrated is all. I’ve wanted to be with you like this for months, and the day I finally do, I get stabbed in the leg. Just my luck.”

“Months you say,” she lifted her head away to grin at him. “Kili, I do believe that you’ve tipped your hand. We’ve only really known each other for a few weeks. Is this your way of saying you’ve been pining for me?”

“Me? Pine? Never. You, on the other hand, have apparently been searching for me for years.”

“To thank you!” she defended. “I never expected this to happen!”

“Oh come on. You can’t honestly say that you haven’t thought about me like this once since classes started.” 

“Well obviously you did.”

“I had that desire to be with you at the very least, but so does 90% of the school population.”

“Oh please, are you kidding me? I think you might be a bit biased in that opinion. I mean, I’m pretty sure half of the school thinks I’m a bitch.” 

“What?” Tauriel giggled, surprised at how offended he sounded. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you be rude to anyone. Hell, you were nice to Feanor when he barged in at the library!”

“There's a difference between nice and civil, Kili.”

“Still, why would anyone think you’re a bitch?”

“Well let’s see, I’ve been called an ugly bitch multiple times for rejecting people who ask me out, a two-faced bitch for being nice but then not going out of my way to make other people happy, oh and considering I'm trying to become a lawyer, I tend to be rather argumentative so then I get called a dumb bitch. Every once in a while just plain bitch is thrown in there too.”

“They’re all fucking idiots.”

“I know that Kili, thanks for the sentiment,” she laughed as she flicked his chest. “None of those people matter to me though, so I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.”

“Good, because anyone who can't see how smart and beautiful you are isn't worth it.”

“Kili please.” She turned away and scoffed as she pulled her arms back to her chest, suddenly feeling the need to hide.

“I’m serious. You are… the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“It is.”

“We live in one of the largest cities in the world. There are plenty of other women that are just as ‘amazing’ as you claim I am.”

“But you’re the only one who matters to me.”

“Like I said before, biased.”

“That may be,” he smirked as she found him shifting to lean over her. She put her hands up to try and stop him, certain he was going to hurt himself again, only for to find her voice had vanished when her palms felt his tight muscles move under his barrel chest while he nearly lay over her, tilting her head up slightly to expose her neck to him. “However, it is a fact that you are strong,” he left a small kiss on her throat, “you are fierce,” he whispered and kissed the other side, causing her eyes to flutter shut, “and you are sexy as hell.” 

“Kili…” He continued the onslaughts of his lips along her neck and Tauriel could do nothing but let him. She felt like he was stealing the air straight from her chest with every caress and she began to gasp for air she just couldn't seem to find. How did he do this to her? When she suddenly felt his warm tongue roll along the spot between her neck and collarbone, she let out a broken moan and she could feel his lips curling into a satisfied smile. 

“Intoxicating as well…”

“Are you just… saying that to distract me from… your leg?” she gulped. She almost didn’t realize that his hand was gliding over her waist again and her fingers had slid up from his chest to his shoulders and were now crawling up his neck. Her leg began to slide up along his body and her hips began to lift on their own.

“Not… at… all… Why? Is it working?”

“Mmm,” she hummed. “…Maybe.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No!” she sobbed as she cursed her sensitive neck and pulled him closer, clutching his body to hers. As she held herself against him, forcing their hips to meet, she quickly and happily realized that she wasn’t the only one getting excited.

“What do you want, Tauriel?”

“I want—” 

A sharp and rapid banging on the door cut her off. Kili flew off of her and grunted in pain as he landed beside her and she quickly pulled a knife out from behind her. All lightheaded and soft feelings were, unfortunately, chased away from her mind and replaced with her instinct to fight.

“Um… where did you get that?” Kili asked with only a small helping of concern.

“Couch,” she quickly replied.

“Was I lying down on that?”

“I told you I had more weapons here than you’d think.” Her voice remained low as she listened for any sound. She was definitely not pleased about being interrupted as she slowly stood and tried her best to keep her legs from wobbling after all of the blood had left them. “That might be your brother, but…” she tensed up as the door banged again.

“Tauriel! Open this door immediately!”

“Shit!” She quickly rushed over to the kitchen to grab Kili’s shirt and threw it at him. Alarms were blaring in her head telling her that she was in a hell of a lot of trouble.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to call him!” Kili growled.

“I didn’t! I swear!” She picked up her abandoned sweater and winced as pushed her arms through the sleeves to hide her still aching bruises. She cursed herself when she looked into the small mirror on her wall and saw that her makeup wasn’t covering up as well as she would like it to anymore. While glanced back over to the door, she made no movement towards it till Kili was covered up, which was taking an agonizing amount of time with his injured body.

“That was an order, Tauriel!” Thranduil shouted again. “Let me in right now!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dammit, Thrandi, why you gotta jump in like that? Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this update! First kiss yay!


	14. Shock and Awe - Kili

Kili’s head was still spinning, not just from Tauriel kissing the sanity out of him, but from being jolted into remembering that he had just gotten the shit beaten out of him a few hours ago. Her mouth was like morphine and now his whole body ached again as all of the warm and fuzzy feelings from Tauriel’s body being pressed completely against his ran away like a startled deer. Any bliss that he had remaining in his body was quickly shifting to disappointment and anger as Thranduil continued to pound his fist on the door. Why did he have to come? Why did he have to keep fucking up any moment of happiness that he had? Had he done something in a past life to piss this man off somehow? Kili pulled his shirt over his stomach, adjusted the rest of his clothing, and nodded to Tauriel that she could move. She quickly made her way down the short hall to the door out of his sight.

“I know you're in there Tauriel! Open this door so I can eviscerate that Durin boy with you!”

“Hey!” a new voice that Kili recognized shouted. “You touch my brother and I will slap you with assault charges so hard that you won’t be able to get a job as a dog catcher! No, scratch that; assistant dog catcher!” Kili relaxed slightly at Fili’s threats, thanking Mahal and whatever other gods that he could think of at the moment that his brother had not been hurt and that Tauriel had kept her word and contacted him, not that he ever doubted that she would.

“Don’t worry Fili,” Tauriel shouted through the walls. Kili heard her unlock three… no four different locks on her door before opening it. “If he moves within five feet of Kili, I’ll cut out his kidneys and shove them down his throat myself.” Kili smiled, wishing he could see her right know, knife in hand, fire in her eyes, standing tall as she threatened to hurt not just a cop, but her godfather.

“T-Tauriel,” another male voice stammered. “Your face…”

“Does not look nearly as bad as yours will if you do the same thing, Lego,” Tauriel promised. So Legolas was here too, huh? Wonderful. As if an overprotective father wasn’t enough, now he had to deal with her brother at the same time.

“Are you alright?” Fili gasped.

“I’m fine compared to your brother. Go ahead in, he’s waiting for you.” Kili held his breath as he sealed himself for his brother’s anger and concern, only to be shocked when he found that Fili was not alone. That barista from before was trailing behind him, holding his hand like a scared baby elephant as they both stopped and looked at him in shock. He couldn’t look that bad, could he?

“Hiya, Fi,” Kili laughed as he mustered up the best grin he could manage. “I see you’re alive and well.”

“Holy shit, Kili!” Fili gulped as he rushed over to get a look at his brother’s face. “You look like you’ve been run over by a bus!”

“Not a bus,” he winced as he tried to sit up straighter. “A Bolg.”

“Bolg did this to you?” 

“And three or four other guys. I’d like to brag and say that I took on all eight by myself, but I’d rather not be taking any credit from Tauriel right now.”

“You and Tauriel fought off eight men?” Sigrid gasped in horror. “I thought half that was scary enough.”

“What’s she talking about Fi?”

“We were attacked too, or at least they came out to attack the Bowmans, I just happened to be there. For all we know there could be another ten guys still out looking for me and Gods knows how many for Thorin.”

“Tsk. And of course, you don’t have a scratch on ya,” Kili scoffed. Fili had always been the stronger fighter, but the fact that he fought four guys on his own and didn’t even have a paper cut ticked him off.

“Would it make you feel better if I told you I had my gun with me and I only hit one of them in the shoulder?”

“Maybe.”

“Tauriel said you had been stabbed right?” Sigrid finally stepped forward. “Let me take a look at it.”

“Are you sure about that?” Kili asked hesitantly. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but she was only a barista at a family coffee shop that he had met last week.

“She’s working at the hospital too, Ki,” Fili defended as if hearing his thoughts. “Out of everyone in this room, she can take care of you the best.”

“Then by all means,” Kili said, carefully rolling up his bloody khakis. Sigrid knelt down and quickly began assessing the damage to his leg as Fili backed away in order to give her space. As he paced around back and forth on the other side of the room, Kili went back to listening to Tauriel and Thranduil. 

“I told you,” Tauriel objected. “You are not coming in until you promise not to arrest him!”

“I can and I will!”

“On what charge?” she shouted.

“Assault and endangerment! You could have been killed! If he had just stayed away—”

“ _I_ followed _him_! It’s my own damn fault I got hurt! You can only arrest him if I press charges and I’m not going to!”

“Yes you are!”

“I am not eighteen anymore! I can actually protect myself now and you’re no longer my legal guardian so you can’t compel me to do so!”

“I can arrest you myself for threatening an officer!”

“Dad enough!” Legolas finally spoke up. 

“No let him Legolas!” Tauriel continued to fight back. “I’d like to see him try! He’ll finally be rid of his problem child.”

“You’re both not thinking straight.”

“No, I’m not,” Thranduil argued. “I’m thinking like a father whose daughter is standing before him covered in bruises while she protects the man responsible!”

“It’s not his fault!” 

“Would you guys save your family drama for another time?” Fili shouted to them. “You’re going to wake up the whole damn building and in case you’ve forgotten, my brother is bleeding out over here!”

“I’m not bleeding out,” Kili assured him.

“Maybe not, but my ears are going to start bleeding out if they don’t shut the fuck up.” A small thud was heard and Kili though it sounded an awful lot like a knife being driven into a doorframe.

“I meant what I said,” Tauriel growled. “You come near him and you’re going to be eating your own insides.” There was no reply as Kili saw Tauriel come out from around the corner and moved around the couch to sit next to him, crossing her arms and still clutching her knife. Kili grinned at her before looking to Fili.

“Isn’t she great?” Fili only rolled his eyes. When Kili heard the door close, he looked over to see two blond officers glowering at him with the slightest hint of approval in their eyes. At least they were satisfied at his assaulted appearance enough not to charge at him immediately. No one was sure was to say now with Tauriel’s family present and a heavy silence filled the room as everyone seemed to be glaring at each other for one reason or another.

“I um, don’t believe we’ve met,” Sigrid said as she glanced passed Kili. “I’m Sigrid.”

“Tauriel,” she smiled, letting her expression soften. “I hope that you haven’t been dragged into all of this as well.”

“I’ve been involved since the beginning,” the young woman frowned, returning to Kili’s leg. “Fili protected me tonight from a group of Smaug’s men. They were after my father.”

“Smaug?” Tauriel looked over to Kili. “Isn’t he Azog’s lawyer?”

“Supposedly,” Legolas interrupted before Kili could make any sound other than a pained hiss as Sigrid inspected his stitches, which she quietly apologized for. “Samuel Smaug is a slimy son of a bitch. We’ve never been able to connect him and Azog on anything but speculation.”

“Are you still speculating now?” Fili accused. “Do you honestly think it’s a coincidence that Smaug’s men and Azog’s men attack the same night at the same time?”

“And the same revolting family,” Thranduil hissed with venom. “All the more reason for you and your brother to stay away from Tauriel and the Bowmans.”

“That’s not happening,” Tauriel countered as she moved closer to Kili, holding on to his arm as if she were a pouting child about to have a toy taking away and Kili made sure to give Thranduil a smug smile.

“I warned you not to make the same mistake twice Durin,” he scolded. “You should have stayed away.”

“I did, and yet here we are,” Kili assured him. This time there was no pretense or confusion about his relationship with Tauriel and despite her godfather now staring down at him with fury in his eyes, he wasn’t about to back down. 

“Can you deny that if my daughter wasn’t with you that she wouldn’t have gotten these injuries?” he began to shout. Kili sat with he teeth clenched knowing that he couldn’t. “You and your entire family are a menace to my city!”

“Right,” Fili drawled as he looked up to the tall officer. “Because the Durin family is the problem here. Not Azog and his Gundabad thugs running around the city murdering people in cold blood.”

“You know full well that he is after your family! If you and your wretched uncle just rolled over, none of this would be happening.”

“Don’t you dare insult my uncle,” Kili growled. He might not have the best relationship with his uncle, but would be damned if he let Thranduil curse the only father figure he had left in his life. 

“Your family and all of your kin,” Thranduil snarled as he slowly approached Kili, “especially your uncle, are nothing but vile, untrustworthy, sickening, stubborn, greedy bastards.”

“Dad, enough,” Legolas pled to no avail.

“You are nothing but a plague that needs to be wiped out and I am losing my patience for your depravity.” Kili was fuming and if his body had allowed him, he would have stood and attempted to knock Thranduil’s teeth out the window. 

“You shut your damn mouth!” Fili shouted. “You’re ledger isn’t exactly clean either. You think we don’t know about all the phony charges against everyone in this goddamn city. You have the highest arresting record in this cities history. Hell, you arrest anyone who gives you a sideways glance!”

“And I will arrest everyone in this room!” Thranduil erupted. “Starting with you Durins!” A small gasp from Sigrid interrupted everyone as they realized that the tip of Tauriel’s knife was now pressing against Thranduil’s chest. Kili hadn’t even realized that she’d stood up. 

“I warned you,” Tauriel threatened coldly. “Take one more step, and I will cut out your tongue. This extends to Fili now as well.”

“I forbid you from seeing this boy again, Tauriel,” Thranduil ordered calmly. He straightened his back to hide his half step backward. 

“Forbid me? Don’t make me laugh. You can’t control me anymore.”

“You will listen to me or I will make good on my threat to lock you up for threatening an officer.”

“Then it looks like we’ll both keep our promises.”

“Tauriel please,” Legolas interrupted again. “We’re only trying to protect you.”

“By threatening to lock me away and attacking Kili’s family and honor? You two certainly have a funny way of showing you care.”

“They are dangerous, Tauriel!” Thranduil reminded her.

“So am I,” she glared back as she lifted the knife under Thranduil’s chin.

“You expect your brother and I to just let you throw yourself into a lion’s den without a second thought?”

“I expect you to back the fuck off!”

“Everyone needs to stop right now!” Sigrid demanded as she stood up between Tauriel and Thranduil. Everyone was shocked at her outburst and Fili looked ready to swoop in and pull her out of there. “That’s enough! No more fighting, no more threats, no more bloodshed. It’s been a terrible night already.” Kili reached up and placed his hand on the small of Tauriel’s back in an attempt to calm her down. If Sigrid meant even a fraction to Fili of what he felt for Tauriel, he didn’t want to see her upset. While Tauriel’s knife dropped, her gaze did not as she continued to stand tall and glare at Thranduil. Kili looked over at Legolas who sighed and shot an apologetic glance first to his brother, then to him. Things were only quite for a moment however before Kili heard someone yelling from a floor below and traveled up the stairs.

“Where are they?” the deep voice echoed as it crashed through the building. Kili felt his stomach drop as he met his brother’s horrified eyes.

“Shit! Fi, you didn’t,” Kili huffed. He threw his head back and flung his hand over his face in frustration. 

“I had to Ki,” his brother apologized, his eyes wide with dread. “I didn’t think he would…”

“No you didn’t think. Fuck. Tauriel, help me stand up. Now,” Kili demanded, the urgency in his voice rising. This was bad. This was really bad.

“ _What_? I’m not going to help you—”

“Tauriel, I know that you haven’t really been listening to my advice much tonight,” he tried to pull himself up and fight the pain. “But right now you really need to trust me. Now help me stand.”

“You!” The voice outside roared again. Kili realized that Thranduil must have put a guard outside of Tauriel’s door. “Are the Durin boys inside? I demand that you let me through at once!”

“Sigrid!” Fili beckoned urgently. She rushed over to his side and grabbed his hand. “Stand behind me, and stay there.”

“What’s going on?” the young woman asked. While Kili weakly balanced himself on his uninjured leg, he tried to push Tauriel behind him as well, but she wasn’t having it as she held onto his arm tightly to support him. While Legolas tensed and moved towards his father protectively, Thranduil stood still, stoic and un-phased. 

“Kili,” Tauriel murmured in his ear. “Is that…?” He nodded to her. Tonight was just one disaster after another for him. This is definitely not how he wanted Tauriel to meet his family and he was sure that Fili was feeling the same.

“My nephews are inside and are injured! If you do not move out of the way and open this door right now, I will use your skull to break it down!”

“Legolas!” Thranduil snapped when his son began to move towards the door.

“He has the right to see them!” he defended. Kili was surprised at Legolas’ willingness to help them but wasn't about to question it. “And it will be worse if we leave him out there to destroy the building!”

Thranduil stood silent for a moment considering his options and weighing his pride. Everyone waited for him to respond as they listened to the officer outside attempt to explain how he had been given strict orders not to let anyone in and the voice continued to condemn him for his ignorance.

“Johnson!” Thranduil shouted. “Just let the bastard inside!” The door flew open and made a large bang. Kili winced, hoping that the impact didn’t leave a dent in Tauriel’s wall, but he didn’t have time to worry about that when Thorin finally entered the room. 

Thorin Durin-Oakensheild was not a tall man; he was taller than Fili and Kili, but still paled in comparison to the willowy Greenleafs. What he lacked in height he made up for in brawn; broad shoulders, thick arms, and jaw made of stone. Thorin’s hair was black as night, but the small amount gray that peeked through like stars aged him. Kili recalled how years ago his hair used to be long and those gray hairs looked more like flying comets, but he’s kept it short for years now. His thick beard was the same color and outlined the frown permanently painted on his mouth. Fili had claimed once that he had seen Thorin smile years ago, but Kili didn’t believe him.

“Uncle Thorin!” Fili and Kili echoed. The two Durins fell into synchronized bows in respect for the head of their family, though Kili was cursing himself for not being able to bow deeper without falling over himself. He saw Tauriel’s head tilt down slightly toward Thorin from the corner of his eye as he rose. While her face was strong and confident and her hands held onto him tightly to support him, Kili could feel her legs lock up next to his to prevent them from shaking. She was nervous; she had to be. That being said, she was fairing far better than Sigrid who had also bowed after watching Fili do so, but was now completely trembling and was holding onto his hand like a lifeline.

Thorin’s gaze shifted to Kili and he felt his breath catch in his throat. For a moment that Kili would have missed had he blinked, Thorin’s dark eyes widened and revealed concern for his youngest nephew’s battered appearance; a flash of a dying ember in coal. Kili thought he had imagined it since he hadn’t seen that look in his uncle’s eyes since he was a child.

“Sit down Kili, you damn fool,” he ordered, his voice rumbling like an impending ocean storm. “You are in no condition to stand.” Letting out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, he quite literally fell back onto the couch and let out a painful grunt. Tauriel released her hold on him, but remained standing, moving slightly in front of Kili as if she was supposed to protect him. 

“Ki! Stop pushing yourself!” Fili snapped from the other side of the room. Thorin turned and opened his mouth to say something to his other nephew, but the tall chief of police standing before him caught his eye first.

“ _Thranduil_.” The rumble in Thorin’s voice shifted into a thundering baritone that would have made a mountain tremble. The soft ember that he had granted Kili had erupted into a raging wildfire. “I should have known you would be responsible for this. Are you satisfied now? Does it bring you joy to see my blood broken and beaten before you?”

“I shall only obtain satisfaction when all you’re bloodline is removed from this earth,” Thranduil declared in a flat tone, glaring at the angry man. “You and your ilk bring nothing but death and ruin upon my city.” 

“Oh I have seen how you treat the people of this city! You wear that uniform and claim to protect everyone, yet you turn your back to any to come to you for aid!” Thorin accused. “You lack all honor! You turn away from the suffering of any who are not your own!”

“Do you not do the same?” Thranduil blamed, voice rising in volume. The two men slowly approached each other as their hatred filled the small room as if a storm was brewing between them. Thranduil looked down upon Thorin as they almost met chest to chest, yet Thorin was the one who seemed to be towering. 

“Thorin,” Kili interrupted. “It’s dangerous for you to be out of hiding right now. You didn’t come alone did you?”

“Of course not, boy,” he growled. “I’m not reckless like you, thinking it safe to wander the streets unaccompanied. Dwalin escorted me and is standing guard outside.”

“Dwalin!” Fili exclaimed. “Fuck, with the cops and a giant bodyguard outside here, we’re practically a beacon for trouble. We might as well light up a neon sign that says ‘Hey! The Durins are here’!”

“Then, by all means, leave,” Thranduil hissed without averting his gaze from Thorin. “And take out the trash while you’re at it.”

“Do not speak to my nephew like that! Your quarrel is with me, not my family.”

“On the contrary, both of your nephews are starting to become a bigger thorn in my side than you.”

“I should wring your neck for that!”

“Everyone just calm down,” Legolas tried only to be ignored again.

“You’re too short to even touch me, little man,” Thranduil smirked.

“You are low enough for me to reach! How dare you bring Fili and Kili into this!”

“They have brought this upon themselves and I can easily have Kili arrested since he is the one responsible for my daughter being assaulted!”

“Gods dammit!” Tauriel shrieked as she pointed her knife at him again. “Either arrest him or shut the fuck up about it because I am tired of hearing your empty threats!”

“And I am tired of yours, Tauriel,” Thranduil glared at her. “How many times will you raise your blade to me and do nothing?”

“So this is your daughter?” Thorin questioned with amusement. Kili watched with dread as his uncle inspected Tauriel from head to toe before him, his expression became too fixated on frustration for Kili to read anything else. “Ha! Let it be known to all that Thranduil’s own children would jump to defend a Durin before their own father!”

“Do you not see what has happened to her because of you and your family?” Thranduil argued. “Of course you haven’t; she isn’t your own so you don’t give a shit.”

“Tauriel, was it?” Thorin continued as he crossing his arms in front of his chest and faced her. Kili shifted forward in an attempt to see her face better, but her hair obstructed his vision. “How many men did you fight this evening?”

“Kili and I fought—”

“I did not ask about him.” Kili opened his mouth to protest, not wanting Thorin to interrogate her after such a long night; she probably gets enough of that from Thranduil. Just as he was about to say something though, his uncle shot him a glance that silenced him. Thorin was already in a bad enough mood and arguing with him would be unwise.

“I personally fought four, sir,” she answered calmly.

“And brought Bolg to his knees,” Kili interjected.

“Kili!” she whispered harshly.

“Twice.”

“You’re not helping!”

“Trust me, I really am.” Arguing with Thorin wasn’t an option, but he didn’t even have to question defending Tauriel.

“Bolg!” Thranduil roared. “Bolg is the one who did this to you?”

“No!” she snapped. “Bolg attacked Kili and I attacked Bolg. He didn’t lay a hand on me.”

“Tauriel!” Legolas shouted. “Bolg is Azog’s son! His strongest fighter! You could have died!” 

“Well,” Thorin continued. “Considering she is not dead, I would say that she can handle herself and doesn’t need her father or brother babysitting her.”

“T-Thank you, Sir,” she muttered in surprise. Kili relaxed his shoulders; content that at least she wasn’t correcting anyone on who her father was.

“My nephew on the other hand…” Thorin glared. All Kili wanted to do now was sink into the bloody sofa underneath him and disappear. He knew that Thorin would be angry with him about getting hurt; it had always been like this. Fili would get all the recognition for his fighting skills improving, while Thorin always got angry with him for being reckless and getting injured. 

“This is ridiculous!” Thranduil shouted again. “If it weren’t for your stubborn family, Bolg would not have come after Tauriel in the first place!”

“If you had just done your job like you were supposed to, Azog and Bolg would have been thrown in jail years ago!” Thorin yelled. “Or better yet, dead on the floor in some warehouse from some shootout and not running around the city causing mayhem!”

“We cannot just go charging after the largest gang in the city! There are lives at stake! Laws that we have to operate under!”

“Only when they suit you! Your hands didn’t seem too tied when you were accusing my company of fraud!”

“You just can’t let that go can you?”

“Enough!” Everyone turned to see that Sigrid had spoken up to dispel the fighting for the second time that night. “Has everyone forgotten that our enemy is Azog and not each other? It doesn’t matter how or why he is still out there, the fact remains that he is and he is hunting all of us!” Everyone was silent as they took in Sigrid’s words looking everywhere around the room but at someone else. Kili looked up to find that Fili’s eyes were seeking his while he continued to stand protectively in front of Sigrid.

‘Isn't she great?’ he mouthed with a smirk. Kili found it most appropriate to roll his eyes in response. 

“You are Bard’s daughter.” Everyone’s gaze shifted to Thorin who had dared to break the quiet. Kili could see his brother swallow hard from across the room, uncertain of how he should react to his uncle’s notice of the woman behind him. Sigrid only nodded, as if she were a small rabbit too afraid to make any sudden movements before a giant bear. Thorin rolled his shoulders back and lowered his arms, placing one hand on top of the other in front of him as he looked at her.

“I fear that your family may have been attacked tonight because I have continued contact with your father after all these years.”

“So you admit it was your fault?” Thranduil blamed.

“I admit to nothing. Azog was the one who ordered the attack, not me.”

“Uncle, why were to talking to Bard?” Fili asked. 

“He has been acting as a source for me, keeping me up to date on acts committed by Azog that the police either didn’t pick up on or looked over. Smaug must have found out.”

“Why did he never come to us with such information?” Legolas wondered out loud. 

“Because you didn’t help him one damn bit two years ago,” Thorin scolded.

“There was no evidence,” the lieutenant defended. “No paper trail, nothing to pursue.”

“Fat lot of good you are,” Fili muttered.

“I’m sorry,” Tauriel interrupted. “Would someone mind filling me in? Maybe providing a bit of context?”

“My father used to work at the same law firm as Smaug before he was let go,” Sigrid answered. “While as the lieutenant said there was no evidence, we were certain Smaug was responsible for him losing his job because of the case he was working on.”

“What case was that?” 

“Ours,” Thorn responded. “After my nephews and I were attacked five years ago, I realized that I had to take down Azog one way or another and sometimes these methods require more… finesse than I am capable of. I eventually got in contact with Bard and we began talking about how to take down Azog through his own legal protection. Since he was on the inside, we thought we would be able to find a way to infiltrate his system, but Smaug caught on quickly. After he got Bard out of the picture, he hit Erebor with multiple legal cases to keep us tied up and out of the way. We were able to keep it quiet for the most part, but obviously not quiet enough.” Thorin shot a glare to Thranduil who said nothing. 

“But that was two years ago,” Sigrid pointed out. “Are you saying Azog is still after my family because you continued to speak with my father? How long has this been going on?”

“We have been communicating for the last eight months. I assure you, Ms. Bowman, your father was the one who reached out to me as I did not wish to involve him any further in a war that he did not belong in any longer, but he insisted upon it. I even offered to provide him with compensation for all that he had done, but he argued that anything that I gave him would be seen as suspicious and would only put you and your siblings in danger.” Sigrid let out a small huff and smiled as if she were agreeing with the perspective. Kili held back a sigh. In the end, it really didn't matter what Fili’s involvement was; she was in danger before she had even met him, but Kili was still responsible for having Azog’s sights set on Tauriel. Azog never had a cared about the police, they were never his target and weren’t worth his time. Tauriel had actually been safe from him for all these years until Kili had walked into her life. Her father was right about him. Her life being in danger was his doing, his fault, and he can't forgive himself, even if she was the one who chose to stay.

“Right,” Tauriel called to attention. She placed her hands on her hips and Kili was thankful that she was holding her knife in her other hand so it wasn’t pointed towards his face. “As much as we hate it, all of us have the same enemy right now and little to go on. We don't know his immediate motives, his location, how many people he has behind him, or what his plans are for us.”

“We know he want’s us all dead,” Kili scoffed under his breath.

“If we want to be rid of Azog, we’re all going to have to get along with each other for a while.”

“Absolutely not,” Thranduil snapped.

“For once I agree with ‘Chief Stick Up His Ass’,” Thorin snorted. “You are young. You could not possibly understand the weight of this situation.”

“Really?” she challenged. “How many Durins have died because of Azog? How many more are you willing to sacrifice? Or are there a few in particular you're willing to part with?”

“Tauriel!” Kili cursed. What the hell was she doing? Thorin is gonna kill her!

“How dare you,” Thorin growled, low and dangerous. His eyes had turned grim, no fire behind them anymore. “You need to learn your place, child. You know nothing of the world.”

“How many innocent people have been killed in the streets for no other reason than someone was bored?” she continued now looking to Thranduil. “How many more times are you going to let me get punched in the face, huh? Is Lego going to have to be shot in the line of duty? Does Fili have to break another arm? Or Kili another rib? Does one of us have to die before you realize that you can’t sit on your asses waving your fist at each other while Azog laughs at us? He is using your feud to his advantage.” Kili felt like he was in the middle of the fight all over again; mind racing, heart pumping, the feeling of just needing to just get the hell out of there. Tauriel was telling everyone that he had revealed everything that was meant to be kept between blood and on top of it all, she was challenging Thorin. If he hadn’t known better, he would have assumed there was Durin blood in her! 

“Damn your pride,” Tauriel announced. “You truly are fools if you believe that fighting with each other will solve your problems and protect your people. Sigrid is right; our enemy is Azog not each other, and we need to start acting like it or else we’re all going to end up dead before the end of the month.” Then again, while he was completely terrified of her at the moment, he had also never felt so turned on. The power and strength in her spine as she stood up tall before his uncle, the conviction in her clenched fist, the confidence glowing in her eyes; he wasn’t sure if it was courage or ignorance within her, but he was at the very least happy that he had adjusted himself before all of this had happened. He watched Thorin’s expression grow harder and prayed Tauriel knew what she was doing.

“You speak pretty words,” Thorin growled. “But do you honestly expect for us to throw away years of animosity because of them? For us to shake hands and drink ale together like nothing has happened over the last five years?”

“No I don’t,” she admitted. “But for the sake of your lives and the lives of your family, I don’t think it would be too much to ask for you to stay out of each other's way while you work towards the same endgame, or at the very least tolerate each other.” Kili watched as Thorin and Thranduil looked at each other, considering Tauriel’s words. The two men seemed to be having their own private conversation as they stared at each other, the slightest twitches in their expressions showing that somehow they were communicating about something. The silence in the room hung heavy as they waited for the two family heads to make a sound.

“Well if they won’t say anything…” Fili rolled his shoulders back and walked over to Legolas. They stared at each other for a moment before Fili extended his hand. “It shouldn’t be too difficult. It’ll be just like we’re back in school.”

“So long as you don’t stumble into my apartment drunk on the weekends, I suppose we can have a temporary truce,” Legolas huffed. The tall officer took Fili’s hand and gave it a firm shake. Their elders watched and did not follow suit, but they show no outward rejection to the agreement either. The truce between the heirs wasn't much, but it was still something.

“Well as long as that’s established.” Tauriel turned to her godfather and took a deep breath. “Thranduil, tomorrow morning I am taking Kili to the hospital and I demand that he be given police protection.”

“What?” everyone shouted in unison. 

“I do not consent to that!” Kili immediately defended. “You can’t force me to go to the hospital without my consent, right?” Hadn’t he already had this conversation with her a few hours ago? Actually, he had no idea how long ago it had really been. 

“What on earth makes you think I would do such a thing?” Thranduil boomed.

“He needs to go to the hospital to make sure his leg doesn’t get infected and Azog’s men will be looking for him so he needs guards,” she explained as if it were obvious.

“Tauriel is right,” Sigrid chimed in meekly. “Your leg needs to be properly treated along with the rest of your body. It looks okay for now all things considered and the bleeding has stopped, but there is still a high risk of infection if you don’t take antibiotics and you could easily damage your leg further if you're not careful. Besides, if you don’t have it stitched up professionally, there may be tissue damage and it’ll leave a really bad scar.”

“An ugly scar is the last thing I’m worried about,” Kili claimed. “Besides, I know how to treat a stab wound. Fili can patch me up like he always has.”

“And the antibiotics?” Legolas asked. “I can promise you now, my sister isn't going to just stand by and have you not take them, and I assume you don’t exactly have easy access; unless you would like to share something with us.”

“We have a private doctor,” Fili defended. “Oin is well trained for these sort of injuries.”

“So you can promise with certainty that your brother will stay put without people watching over him in a public space?” the officer questioned. “He will simply remain at home obediently to recover?”

“Come on man, what happened to the truce?” Kili whined. “Can’t you cut us some slack?”

“He probably would be safer in public,” Fili considered aloud. 

“What? I thought you were on my side!” 

“Hiding out in some safe house will make Azog want to search for you more and you disappearing without an explanation would raise everyone else’s suspicions at school. People will talk and then no one would be safe.”

“Screw them! They won’t figure it out! No one notices me there anyway! This is more important than—”

“You’re going to the hospital, Kili,” Thorin declared and Kili knew his argument was done then and there. “A trained nurse has deemed your injury is severe enough and I will not have you in any worse condition knowing that Azog is showing up again. As soon as he realizes that you and Fili are still alive, he will come back even stronger and I need you to be prepared. If that means you must go to the hospital to be properly looked after, then so be it. It will be easier to keep an eye on you there anyway. However, you will not have police protection; I will have Nori and Dori keep a watch on you and I will make sure Oin looks at you as well.”

“How the hell are you going to convince the hospital to allow that, Uncle?” Fili asked. “They’re not just going to let random men, let alone known Erebor guards, wander around the hospital. Besides, you’d be broadcasting that Ki was involved in something and we can’t have people asking questions.”

“Which is why we need the police,” Tauriel reiterated. “So long as they are nearby at least pretending to investigate things, the hospital staff will leave you alone.”

“And as long as I’m on shift, I can do my best to quiet any rumors from the inside,” Sigrid added.

“You can bring however many guards that you wish Sir,” Tauriel frowned to Thorin, “but unless you want to put your nephew in more danger, they will need to stay outside of the hospital and only visit periodically.” Thorin’s scowl twitched in irritation at her logic then let out a frustrated sigh. 

“Have it your way, but know that you are now responsible for anything that happens to him or any damage he may cause, and I _will_ come for you if that happens.” Kili did not react other than clenching his fist. If anyone else had threatened Tauriel like that, he would have snapped their bones like twigs, but this was his uncle, The Head of the Family, practically a king, and he was in no position to question his motives. If he wasn’t so tired he would… he would… he didn’t know what he would do.  
Not only that, but of course Thorin though of him as a dog that needed a leash. Obviously, he was the one who provoked the attack tonight. Clearly, he needed to be provided with protection from two of the strongest bodyguards in the Durin family because he can’t protect himself. No matter what he did, it would never be enough for Thorin to take him seriously. 

“You _all_ seem to be forgetting one thing,” Thranduil groaned, rubbing his temples intensely as if it would help. “I will not be wasting valuable police resourced protecting a filthy Durin!”

“Are you truly that arrogant and selfish?” Thorin accused. 

“I have no reason to provide this boy with any protection at all!”

“Fine then! I want police protection!” Tauriel shouted. Everyone looked to her, shocked by her declaration, but no one looked more confused than Thranduil. 

“What are you going on about now? You haven’t wanted police protection from me since you were thirteen! You have argued with me for years about how you don’t need to be taken care of by anyone, let alone me. Why on earth would I provide you with some now?”

“If you protect me, then you’ll have to protect Kili as well.”

“And how do you figure that?” 

Legolas and Fili jumped and Sigrid let out a small squeak when Tauriel threw her knife, blade first, into her wooden table, forcing it to stick straight up. Kili wasn’t prepared for her outburst, and he certainly wasn’t prepared for her to quickly sit down next to him, take his face into her cut up hands, and pull him in for a bruising kiss in front of everyone.

For a moment, the world around him shut down as he kissed her back, his hands flying to her waist to keep her where she was. Her lips moving against his in a passionate dance and the pain in his face was abandoned, along with any feelings about how the people around him were reacting. As if she were trying to rub salt in the wound of her godfather, she thrust her tongue into his mouth, tangled her fingers into his messy hair, and pressed herself flush against his body, making it his turn to moan into her mouth. She pulled away from the aggressive, but no less enjoyable kiss, and crossed her arms triumphantly, leaving Kili dazed and somewhat embarrassed as he looked to the audience of shocked faces. Legolas had turned his back, Fili’s mouth hung open as if a screw had fallen loose and it was swinging freely, Sigrid’s face had turned bright red which could be seen even behind her hands, and Thranduil looked so angry that he couldn’t even utter a single syllable. Despite how large his eyes had grown at the sight before him, they were filled with blind rage and his body shook as if the building was shaking beneath him. Kili didn’t dare look at Thorin.

“Did you consent to that, Kili?” Fili gawked. 

“Nope,” Kili replied, popping the ‘p’ at the end. “But I think I’m gonna let that one slide.”

“As of this moment, where ever Kili goes, I go,” Tauriel decreed and Kili hoped that he was the only one who could hear how breathless she was. “I will have police protection and in turn, they will watch out for Kili.”

“This is outrageous!” Thranduil fumed, his face so red Kili thought that fire might soon erupt out of his ears. “I don’t care what your relationship with him is! I will not be giving you any of my officers!”

“After the bodily harm that I accrued this evening along with the knowledge that Azog and his followers are becoming active again, I have substantial enough cause to ask for protection. There is no evidence to suggest that I will not be attacked again, quite the opposite in fact. As such, I feel unsafe with Azog at large and I’m therefore well with him my rights to demand police protection for myself and by extension, Kili,” Tauriel proclaimed, remaining stubborn in her conviction. Kili had been wrong before, now he had never been so turned on by her. From that kiss to how she started talking like a lawyer, making demands and refusing to budge from her position; if they had been alone and his leg wasn’t screaming in pain at him right now, oh the things he would do.

“Of course,” she grinned wickedly. “I could always go to Mayor Celeborn and let him know that you are failing to assist a victim of assault. How do you think he would react to that?” Kili thought he could hear Thranduil’s teeth cracking from the pressure of his clenched jaw. If he wasn’t so lightheaded from the beating, the blood loss, and the honestly amazing kiss he just had, he might have found it in himself to laugh at Thranduil’s foolish appearance. In an attempt to calm himself down at least somewhat, Thranduil closed his eyes and let out a breath of what Kili could only assume was hot air. 

“Come Legolas,” he demanded once he had regained his composure. “We must come up with a cover story as to why young Kili here is arriving at the hospital the day after he had been attacked so as not to raise suspicion.” Legolas made no response, but the two officers stalked out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

“Well then…” Fili sighed. “Ki, are you gonna be alright? You need me to get you anything? I can go home and bring something over if you want.”

“Don’t worry about me Fi,” Kili dismissed. “I’ll be fine. By the time you get back I’ll probably be knocked out. You just take care of yourself. I’ll see you at the hospital tomorrow.”

“If you’re sure. Just text me in the morning if you think of anything and I’ll be here. Come on Sigrid, I’ll get you home safe.” She quietly nodded, just as ready as he was to leave, and followed him out, leaving only Thorin alone with them.

“Uncle, I…”

“Save it,” he snapped. “We’ll discuss what happened tonight after you have rested. As for you,” he turned to Tauriel. The momentary flash of alarm that crossed her face betrayed her now stern expression. “Make no mistake, your actions tonight have granted you my respect, but not my favor. It matters little to me what your relationship with Kili is. Blood or not, you are still part of Thranduil’s family. It will be cold day in hell before I ever begin to trust you.” He turned and stalked out of the room before even giving her a chance to respond and they were once again left alone in silence.

“Well,” Kili sighed. “That actually could have gone a lot worse.” Tauriel let out a long groan and slumped against Kili’s arm, resting her head on his shoulder. Kili placed his hand on her leg and chuckled. He couldn’t recall ever seeing anyone looking so spent.

“I’m just glad they’re gone. Are things always like this with your family?”

“Yeah. I told you we were loud, stubborn bastards. Are things like that with your family?”

“Sometimes. Thranduil and I will get into screaming matches and then not speak to each other for weeks. Legolas tries to act as a mediator, but I guess there was too much arrogance in one room for him this time.”

“You okay?”

“No,” she whimpered. “I'm tired.”

“You didn't seem so tired a few minutes ago when you decided to throw yourself at me in front of everyone.”

“Gods, I really shouldn't have done that. What the fuck was I thinking?” She curled herself into him, pulling her hair in front of her face to hide her blush, which wasn't working very well.

“Don't know, but you certainly got your point across,” he grinned. One thing he did know was that he was not looking forward to all of the questions he was going to get from Fili. This morning his brother had to practically throw him out of the apartment because of Tauriel and now all of a sudden they were jumping all over each other. A lot had happened today, it was no wonder Tauriel was exhausted.

“Come on,” he shifted, trying to get her to sit up. “You should go to bed.”

“Can't I sleep on the couch with you?” she begged. “I promise I’ll be more careful of your leg this time.”

“Wouldn't your own bed be more comfortable?”

“Yeah, but I'm not about to make you get up and move into there and I'm afraid that if I sleep by myself, I'll wake up in the morning and you won't be here anymore.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the sappy romantic one?”

“I have my moments,” she smiled.

“Don't worry,” he said as he leaned back, carefully pulling her into his chest. “I'm not going anywhere.”


	15. The Past - Fili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Fic tags referenced/implied

After a long car ride where Fili and Sigrid argued back and forth about where she would be staying tonight, Fili unlocked the door to his apartment, flipped on the lights, and let Sigrid step inside. It didn’t matter to her that she didn’t have a change of clothes or that it wouldn’t be “appropriate”, she was staying at his place and she wasn’t about to change her mind. He had offered to drive her back to her house to pick up anything she needed, but she argued that if he did that, it would be that much easier for him to just leave her there with her family. No, Sigrid wasn’t ready to leave his side just yet. Fili couldn’t blame her and if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want her to leave either.

She wasn’t like Tauriel or his mother; powerful and daring and willing to jump into a fight at the blink of an eye. Her life was in real danger tonight and Fili was feeling more and more guilty about dragging her into his. Even though his uncle was already talking to her father, maybe if he hadn’t been spending so much time with her Smaug wouldn’t have caught on so fast, or even at all. None of it mattered though, she was in too deep now and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t want to think of her as weak — she wasn’t in the slightest — but after seeing her so afraid tonight and how quiet she had been for the last half-hour, he was beginning to worry about her.

He hung his backpack on a chair and tossed his keys onto the island in the kitchen; flinching slightly at the harsh sound of metal on a solid surface as it broke the silence of the empty room. After the last few hours, Fili was exhausted and all he wanted to do was fall flat on his face into his bed, but right now his attention needed to be on Sigrid who was currently in the middle of his living room awkwardly standing around, not knowing what to do. 

“Do you want something to drink?” he offered.

“N-No. I’m fine.”

“You can sit down if you want.”

“Oh… I’m sorry,” she said, fidgeting with a loose thread on her shirt. She slowly made her way over to the couch and sat down before Fili followed her, making sure to give her space. “I just, kind of feel… I don’t know. Out of place?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… your apartment is really nice. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I came here, knowing that you were a Durin and all. It’s not like one of those crazy penthouses you see on TV, but still… I don’t want to mess anything up.” Fili began to chuckle but understood where she was coming from. While his apartment wasn’t gigantic, it was still fully furnished with expensive furniture and a lot of space. Nothing extravagant compared to the way some of his other family members chose to live, but still probably more than Sigrid was used to. From what she had told him, her home was small for a family. She and Tilda still shared a bedroom and there wasn’t any space for anything other than necessities. 

“Trust me, everything in here has been out of place at one time or another. It get’s like that when you live with a slob like Kili. The only reason this place is so clean right now is because I’ve been trying to keep myself busy and not worry about Kili for the past few days.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about him anymore,” she blushed. “I think his girl troubles are behind him now.”

“I’ll say.” He thought back to how Tauriel attacked his brother without warning in front of everyone. “They’ve certainly pulled a 180 today.” Sigrid nodded, and Fili didn’t say anything more, not sure what to add to the conversation. He didn’t know how to make her feel more comfortable after tonight’s events but realized it would probably be best to get at least some things out of the way. He took a moment to clear his throat before speaking up.

“I’m sure you… have a lot of questions for me now that you don't have to hide the fact that you know I'm a Durin. You can ask me anything and I promise I’ll tell you the truth, or at least what I can of it.” She didn’t answer him for a minute. Her body was turned away from him and Fili could feel the sweat on the back of his neck. Was she scared of him now after she had seen what he could do? Was she angry that he was a Durin? Was she upset that she couldn’t pretend it wasn’t true anymore? Why was she hesitating?

“I…” she began weakly. “I just want to ask you one thing, but I’m afraid to hear the answer.” If he wasn’t so anxious right now, he might have felt déjà vu.

“Sigrid, you know you can tell me anything right?” He wanted to hold her hand to comfort her but thought better of it. She nodded in reply, staying silent for a little while longer.

“Did you know about it?” she said, unable to look at him.

“Did I know about what?”

“My father, and your uncle? Did you know that they were talking still?”

“No, not at all. Why would—” Fili stopped himself, suddenly realizing why she hadn’t wanted to ask him. “Oh Sigrid, no. Look at me.” He could see the effort it took for her to bring herself to face him, her eyes misting and her lower lip caught between her teeth.

“Sigrid I promise you, I had no idea that they were talking. My uncle never told me that the shop was your father’s, and he didn’t send me to keep an eye on you and your family. That bodyguard thing… that was a joke.” He brought his hand up to her face and moved his thumb back and forth across her cheek. “I was never using you to get close to your father. I swear Sigrid, my feelings for you are real.”

“I’m sorry Fili,” she whimpered. “I shouldn’t have thought that you…”

“I get it. Believe me, I do. You don’t have to apologize." He gave her a soft smile because he honestly did understand. Thorin had raised him to be suspicious of other people and their motives, but his mother had also raised him to never be deceptive and always be truthful about his own feelings. 

“I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable, I just… I needed to be sure,” she hiccupped as she swallowed her tears before they could fall. 

“It’s okay. After everything that’s happened tonight, I’d be worried if you didn’t have questions about my family or my motives.”

“Well, when Da told me who you were after the whole Smaug incident, I kind of asked him a lot of questions myself. I don't know how accurate he was with his answers, but I figured since he knew—knows your uncle so well…”

“What kind of questions did you ask him?”

“Mostly if you were dangerous.”

“Oh,” he gulped, quickly retracting his hand from her. “And what did he say?”

“He said you weren’t dangerous to me, or any of us,” she assured him with a soft smile. “Even if he told me that you were someone I should watch out for, I don’t think I would have listened.” 

“Why is that?”

“Because I trust you Fili. I’ve never thought for a second that you would do anything to hurt me, and I know that you want to protect me too.” Fili relaxed against the back of the couch and let out a sigh that made Sigrid laugh. She wasn’t afraid of him. It was such a relief to him to know that she still cared about him.

“I was worried,” he confessed. “I thought that you would be scared of me when I told you about my family. We’re not exactly the most saintly people on earth.”

“Every family has their problems.”

“Even yours?”

“Do you honestly believe my family is all sunshine and rainbows?” she laughed as she leaned back with him.

“No. But it’s gotta be a lot easier to deal with than mine.”

“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean that your family isn’t good.” Fili wasn’t sure what constituted as ‘good’, but he loved his family, especially his uncle, and she was willing to see the fact that the choices he made were to protect them, and now he was going to protect her and her family.

“What else did you ask your dad?”

“Oh jus-just some dumb questions,” she stammered. “Nothing important. Stupid really.”

“Oh, but now I’m interested,” he grinned. Fili turned so that he was now leaning on the arm of the couch and faced her. She squirmed nervously as he scratched at his chin and arched his brow, and she finally let out a defeated sigh as if she just knew he wasn’t going to let this go.

“I know that the Durin bloodline is an old one, one that has a lot of history and tradition. After Da explained to me how things sort of worked with the whole Head of the Family stuff… I might have asked if you were… royalty.” Her expression cringed as the words left her mouth and was afraid to look at him. Fili tried his best and succeeded for a few moments, but ultimately couldn’t help himself from letting out a roar of laughter, much to Sigrid’s humiliation. “I knew you would laugh! I told you it was stupid!”

“No, no!” he continued to laugh, trying to calm himself down. “It’s not stupid I promise.”

“Then why are you laughing so hard?”

“Why did you ask? Did you think I was some fairytale prince from a faraway land? I’m sorry to say I don’t own any dazzling white stallions to whisk you away on.”

“N-No!” she pouted. He knew she was lying from the blush running across her face. “I’m not an idiot, I understand the difference between fantasy and reality! I just wanted to know! Da’s the one who explained it to me so I just got confused, that’s all!”

“And what did he tell you?”

“That of course you weren’t, it was ridiculous for me to think that at all.”

“I don’t know. I’d have to talk to Balin, but I’m sure if I dig far enough back in my family history we might find some title involving a crown, though it’s not like we’re in line for anything. Right now, I’m only special to the Durin line. We might have power over other families and some sway in more political areas, but we really don’t have control over anything else.”

“Oh. Okay then.” She almost sounded... disappointed and he did his best not to laugh again as she continued. “So… are there other people in line to be the Head of the Family, or are you sort of it?”

“Unless you want to count Ki, I’m it.” He gave her a moment to take the answer in. While it was true that Blood Durins really didn’t have power outside of their line, the fact of the matter was that, by his family’s standards, Sigrid was essentially dating a prince. He wondered if his father had felt strange at all for dating a princess. It probably wasn’t the same since Thorin was to be the head and not his mother, but it still must have been daunting to say the least.

“Did you ask your dad anything else that I need to clarify for you?”

“I asked if he knew what you did, but he said he wasn't sure.”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on Fili. You're the heir to one of the most powerful and profitable companies in the world. After finding out that you're also fighting in a gang war, I wasn't sure if you were just some wealthy guy with no responsibility trying to blend in or if you were… I don't know.”

“Some kind of hitman?”

“I mean you certain fight like one,” she laughed. Fili relaxed more, happy that she was smiling again, even if it was just a small one. “Da said he didn't know what you did or how much responsibility you held because Erebor is such a big company. Do you actually work for your uncle or are you just doing other things and just trying to keep up appearances?”

“I bit of both I guess. It’s true I come from a family of old money and could just sit on my ass all day if I wanted to, but my uncle has always been a firm believer in working for what you deserve. He wants me to be the head of the company eventually, but he told me that if I can’t learn to be successful on my own, make my own way, then he will have failed in raising me. I do actually work for the company as a high-level sales contact, making sure that other companies that buy from us get the things they need, but I have one of the smallest customer lists out of everyone because I still have other things I have to take care of and learn when it comes to being in charge of the family. My uncle hasn’t handed me or Ki a penny of Erebor’s finances that we didn’t earn ourselves; always doing his best to keep us humble since that’s how our family started out.”

“I’d say he succeeded,” she smiled. Fili reached out and held Sigrid’s hand in his.

“I hope he didn’t scare you too much earlier. I know he can be… threatening.”

“A little bit,” she admitted. Fili thought back to how her hand had been shaking in his when Thorin entered the room, how she trembled behind him, and yet she still somehow found the courage to speak up over him and make him listen. “I think Tauriel caught the brunt of him though. I feel bad for her.”

“I do too. I had to call Thorin, tell him what happened so he would know to be on the lookout and stay safe. He’s been laying low for the past few months, so I didn’t think that he would actually come out to meet us. Hopefully, Ki isn’t too mad at me.”

“I’m sure he’s not.”

“He had to deal with Uncle Thorin and Chief Thranduil at the same time. I certainly don’t envy him.” Fili was at a loss for how his brother was able to handle the stress of it all, although Kili had always been a bit more carefree than he had been. Whatever sense of freedom Kili could find, he grasped at it and held on for dear life. 

“Your uncle seemed really upset with Kili. Does he have a role in your family like you do?”

“In a way. He’s still Thorin’s nephew and next in line after me, so he has a lot of expectations put on him to succeed and standards that he has to live up to. He pretty much has the same kind of restrictions that I do, but none of the benefits.”

“How do you mean?” she asked. Fili looked down to where his hand tangled in Sigrid’s as he tried to think of the best way to explain it.

“We both have to work within the company, we both have to behave like we are a part of the main branch of the family, we both have to make decisions for the good of the family above our own needs, but Ki doesn’t get any of the power that goes along with it.”

“Nothing?”

“Well his opinion has some sway in certain situations and people won't exactly treat him like garbage since he’s still in line, but all of the power that goes into taking care of the family goes to the firstborn.”

“That sounds so miserable,” she lamented. He felt her grip tighten around his hands.

“I’ve always felt like I had to protect Kili, not just because he’s my brother, but because things have never been fair for him. He’s such a free spirit and I feel like he never gets what he wants just because he wasn’t born first. I just want to make sure he doesn’t feel like he doesn’t matter. I want to be a good brother to him.” 

“And I think that you have been, but,” she slowly brought her hand under his whiskered chin and turn his head to face her, her fingertips making the hairs tingle. “I was talking about you as well.”

“Me?”

“You forget that I’m the first born too.”

“That’s true, but I’m pretty sure our family structures work a bit differently. Besides, I’ve always been okay with my position. To be the Head of the Family is such an honor, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything else. It’s something I’ve always been happy to do.” Fili thought about his upbringing, the expectation that he would be the next Head of the Family had been on him for as long as he could remember. He was the heir and that was something he took pride in and never shied away from. 

“I believe you. You don’t talk about work that often, but when you do,” a fond smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You get this light in your eyes. You’re so proud of all of the effort that you’ve done to get this far, but…”

“But what?”

“I feel like sometimes you're afraid.”

“Afraid?” he asked in confusion and she gave a small nod.

“After seeing Thorin today, I can see why and how much you admire him. He’s got a commanding presence, but it was a protective one as well. He jumped to your defense so quickly and he came all the way out to find you guys, knowing that there was someone out looking to kill him around any corner. I can see that he’s respected in your family not only because he’s the Head of the Family, but also because he’s a great leader. He deserves to be where he is and people respect him for that.

“But I’m sure you know better than anybody that, well… you’re next. You have to follow in his footsteps and there are expectations that come with that. You feel bad that Kili doesn’t get any power; you think it’s unfair that he get’s nothing and it is, but now everything falls on you.” Fili felt her words knock him square in the chest like a hammer hitting a gong. His throat felt dry and he found himself unable to say anything. How could she possibly know this? He hadn’t even told Kili. “You’re the one that everyone is going to look to and as incredible as it feels to be respected and loved and honored, it’s also terrifying; especially after coming after someone who was amazing.

“I know that it’s not quite the same, but I understand what that’s like. My mom…” she stopped.

“Sigrid, you don’t have to talk about her. If it’s too much…” There was silence between them for a moment.

“My mom was amazing,” she smiled. “She would read to me every night about dragons in faraway lands, tell me that the monsters under my bed were my friends that wanted to protect me, buy me ice cream even when it was the middle of winter because she knew that it would always make me happy after a bad day at school. She was so beautiful and happy and wonderful... and then she was gone. I was only nine, and I suddenly had to become a mother figure to two children, and a support system for my father. I knew that I could never become her, there was no one else like her, but I still felt like I needed to be just as amazing as she was for everyone else’s sake. Tilda would never know her and Bain wouldn’t remember her because he was too young. Da always did his best, he works so hard for us, but I had to grow up fast to take care of my family. There was a lot of pressure on me to fill her shoes, to succeed because everyone depended on me.

“I love my family with all my heart and I wouldn’t change anything about us, but those expectations, that kind of burden, on anyone,” she paused, wiping away a stray tear from her cheek. “It can be miserable.”

Without a word, Fili wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. Her arms were awkwardly folded in between them and she squeaked when his grip tightened, carefully bringing both of them backward so that she was lying on top of him. He continued to hold her close but made sure she had some room to move and adjust. He wanted to comfort her, to hold her, to thank her. He knew that he could never talk to Thorin about how he felt about being his heir—he didn’t have the courage—and telling Kili was out of the question too because he just wouldn’t understand. Sigrid though, she not only articulated what he had been feeling his entire life, but she had felt it too. She knew exactly what it was like to feel like to have so much, but also feel like it would never be enough; that failure was hovering just over their shoulders. 

“Fili?”

“Thank you, Sigrid,” he whispered into her hair. He felt her relax as he ran his hand up and down her back idly. They stayed like that for a while, not counting the time that passed, simply existing together and listening to the sound of their own breathing in the silent room. 

“Are you still awake?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I’m still here.” He let her slowly lift herself up and so that she could hover over him, one arm on either side. “I guess I should be setting up a spot to sleep.”

“Oh, I can sleep here on the couch.”

“Absolutely not.” They moved around each other until Fili was able to stand up. He was disappointed at the loss of her body but still made his way over to the closet to pull out an extra blanket. “I’m sleeping on the couch. You can take my bed.”

“Fili no, I don’t want to put you out of your room.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He tossed the thick blanket onto the edge of the couch and took her hand before leading her across the apartment towards a white door next to the large window of the back wall. “I think I can handle not staying in my own bed for one night.”

“But—”

“ —I don’t want to hear it. You got to decide where you would spend the night, now I get to decide where you sleep.” He let go of her hand to open the door to his room and flipped on the light. It had been a while since he had brought a woman into his room, but he quickly reminded himself how that wasn’t what was happening. His queen-sized bed looked like it hadn’t been made in days and the navy blue comforter contrasted with his light tan wall but matched the curtains blocking the window. Noticing a few dirty clothes on his floor, he quickly picked them up and threw them into the hamper across the room. 

“I’ll be right back,” he said. “Make yourself comfortable.” He made his way over to his dresser and pulled out clean clothes for him to wear to bed before making his way into his bathroom to change. He quickly cleaned himself and the bathroom up not want to make her wait, but not wanting to look sloppy either. For a moment, he contemplated walking out without his shirt on but decided that it really wouldn't be fair of him to do that. Why was he overthinking this? Nothing was going to happen so why did he feel so nervous? He took a deep breath and then walked out to find her looking at the small kit he had left on top of his dresser. Tiny brushes, bottles, and dirty fabrics were neatly organized in black padding. Fili froze, his nerves paralyzing him until she took notice of him.

“What’s this for?” she asked casually. He didn’t answer for a moment, contemplating lying to her, but what good would that do?

“To clean my gun,” he swallowed and she reflexively flinched away from it. Dammit. He should of put it away when he was getting his clothes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left it out.”

“No, it’s fine. You didn’t know I was coming and this is your room. You shouldn’t have to worry about hiding anything here.”

“I don’t want it to upset you though.” He walked over and slammed it shut, throwing it into a random drawer and hiding it away as he stood beside her, but even though it was gone from sight, its presence was still there, looming around them and it made him feel sick.

“You used your gun to protect me today, Fili. Why would that upset me?” 

“Because it’s still a gun, Sigrid,” he emphasized. It was dangerous. He was dangerous. “It’s not like a knife that can be used to cook food or survive, it’s not a taser or pepper spray that you can use to defend yourself. Its only purpose is to kill. It's a weapon I’ve used to hurt a lot of people before.” He took a deep breath and turned away from her, placing his hands on the edge of the dresser for balance. He didn’t mean to become so frustrated, but any illusion that either of them saw of him being some sort of hero was falling apart before them. What was he thinking? That he could just pretend that he was a savior sent to protect her and that he could do no wrong? That he hadn’t done wrong before? That Thranduil wasn't at least a little bit right about him? He was delusional for thinking otherwise and she deserves better than that. He was eating his own words now; he was no fairytale prince and there was just as much bad in him as there was good.

“Fili, I…”

“I might not be dangerous to you, Sigrid, but that doesn’t make me a good person. That doesn’t mean I’m innocent. Durins are rich and powerful people and sometimes, horrible things are done to keep us where we are. We are warriors and fighters deep inside. There is a reason Azog is after us and it’s not just because of the power we have or the money or the influence. He thrives off of the violence in this city that we help create. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hurt people because I’ve lost count, and I can’t tell you whether or not I’ve killed people because I never stay around long enough to check. I’m lethal and it’s not safe to be around me. My hands are covered with blood Sigrid,” he sighed, bowing his head in defeat, “and I don’t know how to hold yours without staining you too.”

“Fili, look at me.” She reached out to him, but he turned is head further away, unwilling to look her in the eye. “Dammit Fili, you told me to look at you earlier and I did, so don’t you dare ignore me.” With a heavy sigh, he removed one hand from the furniture and turned to face her. She moved closer, putting her hands on each of his cheeks, as she looked straight into his eyes and smiled.

“It’s still there.”

“What is?”

“Your humanity,” she replied and he blinked at her. “Yes, you have done unspeakable things, you’re not proud of your actions, but you’ve done it for the sake of other people. The fact that you have regrets shows me that you still care; you have grieved and don't want to do this. Sure the things that you’ve done might not make you a good person, but they don’t make you a bad one either. Every action that you have taken might not have been for pure reasons and I might not want to know what they were, but they were done to keep the people you love safe. You haven’t just protected me, but you’ve protected hundreds of other people who would have been hurt had you not stepped in. This is a war Fili, and you’re a soldier and I can’t ask or expect you to be anything less. You have to do whatever you can to stay alive and protect those you love.”

“Doesn’t make it right,” he argued.

“A lot of wrong things are done for the right reasons, and a lot of right things are done for the wrong reasons. This world isn’t black and white.” She slid her hands away from his face, glided them down his arms, and twisted her fingers within his, "and I don’t mind getting a little red on me if it means that I can stay with you.”

Fili didn’t answer her because even if she didn’t care about what he’s done in the past, he did. It was easy for her to say these things when she had only seen the side of him that cared for her, never the darker side that would be willing to hurt and kill others for her, but there was no convincing her of that right now. He removed his hands from hers and wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her close as she mirrored him. She continued to look at him, the concerned expression on her face seemed to be stuck, but then she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his and he closed his eyes to take her in.

They hadn’t been together for very long, but this was the first time that she had initiated a kiss and Fili felt an odd sense of relief. He returned it as he held her tighter; relaxing into the sweetness of her lips while her hands crawled up his back, sending electricity down his spine. She pulled away only for a moment before crashing back to him more passionately, hungry for him. This was different from the Sigrid he had come to know. It was eager, full of need, and soon he wasn’t pulling her closer, she was pushing herself into him.

“Sigrid,” he whispered in an attempt to get her to slow down, but she only brought her lips to him again and moved her arms from his back up into his hair. She pulled the tie out, letting his golden locks fall freely and he felt her delicate fingers run across his scalp. Mahal, she felt so wonderful in his arms. His heart beat wildly as she slipped her tongue into his mouth, causing him to let out a groan and he knew it was impossible for her not to know that he wanted her right now as he pulled her hips to his. She took a step, and then another until Fili found himself falling backward onto his bed as she continued to kiss him.

“Sigrid, wait,” he tried again. She continued to ignore him as her hands began to travel down his chest now and Fili let his hands move lower as well, dangerously low. As he held her ass in the palms of his hands, he felt her body move against him and she let out a lustful sigh. When her fingertips began to drift under his shirt and slide up his chest, Fili stopped her by bringing his hands up to her shoulders and lightly pushing her away so that she was still inches away from his face.

“Sigrid, stop.” Her eyes were wide and her lips pink and swollen from kissing him; her hair falling around both of them so they could only see each other. 

“Did… did I do something wrong?” she asked confused and out of breath as she stared down at him.

“Of course not,” he said brushing the hair from her face. “It’s just… a little fast, don’t you think?”

“I-I’m sorry,” she frowned as her face turned bright red. “You were upset and I thought that… never mind. I’m sorry.” She began to roll off of him, but Fili didn’t let go as he squinted at her, trying to decipher her actions. What had she been thinking that would make her suddenly become so aggressive?

“Sigrid, how many relationships have you been in before?” She seemed taken aback by his question, but this was something that was going to come up between them eventually.

“Two.” Her expression dropped, apparently embarrassed by the answer.

“Did they ever make you do things that you didn’t want to? Things you weren’t ready for?” She became tense in his arms as if she was trying to retreat into herself. 

“N-Not really. I mean I-I’ve never… I’m still a… it wasn’t anything big or…” she tried to speak, but the words just kept coming out in nervous jumbles and incomplete sentences.

“Sig.”

“They had been so nice to me and I wanted... I wanted them to like me. I wanted to make them happy. I owed them.”

“Sig, no,” he sighed as he pulled her in again, her ear against his chest and his chin resting on the crown of her head. It made sense now, why she always felt like she had to pay people back, why things had to be fair. “Don’t ever, ever feel like you owe me anything like that. It’s not your job to make me happy and you especially don’t have to do anything for me that you’re not comfortable with.”

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered as she twisted her fingers into his soft shirt. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“You didn’t make me upset. I don’t care if you’ve been with other people before, but whatever they told you about owing them something…” Fili stopped, not wanting to even imagine what that was. “It was shitty of them to put you in that position. You are a part of this relationship too, not just me. Your wants are just as important as mine and if you don’t to do something, don’t think that you have to because of me.”

“I just don’t want you to be sad. You saved my life today and risked yours in the process. Is it so wrong that I want to do something to thank you? I want to make you happy, Fili.”

“But what about you? What if what I wanted was to make you happy?” he asked. She lifted her head up to him as if she wasn’t sure if he was serious. 

It dawned on him then that she had never really been asked that before. Her whole life she’s lived for others, making sure their needs were put before her own. He was certain Bard did everything in his power to give her everything she could ever want, but in the end, Sigrid still had to give up her childhood to become a mother figure, couldn’t spend time with her friends and be a teenager because she had to work to make sure that her family stayed afloat, was even forced to abandon her education because it cost too much, and now that Fili knew about these people in her past… 

She’s selfless to a fault. It’s a foreign concept for her to have something for herself, let alone actually ask for anything. She’s so accustomed to taking care of others, that she doesn’t know how to let people take care of her. Fili finally released her and pushed himself up so he was leaning on his elbows towards her, his breath washing over her neck and ear. 

“Sigrid,” he purred. “What do you want, right now?” He watched the gears frantically turning in her head, trying to process what he was asking her, weighing whether or not it was okay for her to be selfish for once.

“Can… Can we just stay here? Like this?” He felt the corners of his mouth tug into a smile.

“Roll over for a second.” She did what he asked and he sat up, moving towards the top of his bed. He adjusted the sheets and opened them up to create space for her next to him. She slowly crawled up to him, wrapping her arms around his midsection as she laid her head on his chest while he brushed his fingers through her hair. Their legs tangled together as the held each other close.

“Thank you, Fili,” she sighed. 

“It’s nothing,” he said as he squeezed her closer to his body before lifting her chin and brushing a few stray hairs away from her face. “You can always ask me for anything.” She pulled herself up slightly and pressed a small kiss to his lips before playing with his hair as well and letting out a small giggle. “What’s so funny?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you mister. You’re hair’s all over the place, you kind of look like a lion.” 

“Hmm,” he considered. “I could get used to that. A lion is a king after all.”

“And you will be one someday, right?” she yawned. “Once you take over Erebor that is.” He was quiet in response. He didn’t want to think about taking over Erebor, nor did he want to question how he would compare to Thorin. 

“Get some sleep,” he whispered. “We’ve had a long day.” He could wait to be a corporate king. All that mattered right now was the woman in his arms that made him feel like he could be a better man.

“Fili?” she mumbled, as she drifted off. “If you’re a king and we stay together, if they let us stay together I mean, would I become a queen?” Fili thought for a moment, unsure whether or not she was serious or if she was even awake enough to realize what she was asking. If this relationship did continue, she may very well become a part of Erebor’s main branch. Would she even want that? Could she handle it? She had been so afraid tonight, but she had also been brave. 

When they had been attacked at the shop, she was terrified but her hands weren’t even shaking when he handed her the knife. When Tauriel and Thranduil were fighting, her voice trembled when she spoke yet she stood directly in between them while Tauriel had a weapon in her hand. When Thorin barged into the apartment, she was shaking behind him yet still found a way to stand up and say how he had lost sight of the real problem.

He tilted his head down to look at her face. Her eyes were closed, arms relaxed, and her breathing calm and even.

“Not a queen, Sigrid. A lionheart.”


	16. Some Advice - Sigrid

“Sigrid! Come here for a minute!” At the sound of her name, she picked up her clipboard and made her way across the hall of the hospital, dodging other interns and nurse along the way. She pressed her scrubs flat as she headed towards her supervisor, trying not to look like she had only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before. 

She couldn’t believe her world had been flipped around so drastically again. It felt as if her life would never be normal, but that didn’t mean it was bad; Fili was certainly a positive. When he dropped her off at home in the morning to get her things for work, she made sure to omit the fact that they had shared a bed from her family. She was pretty sure that her father approved of the fact that Fili could take care of her, but she still was not sure how much he approved of Fili himself. 

And Fili had been right; she had been moving too fast with him last night. She was just so afraid that he was going to think that she was no longer worth it that she was willing to do something she didn’t want to so she could keep him close. Everything that she ever cared about seemed to always slip from her grasp and she didn’t want Fili to be one of them. With his “line of work” putting him in a vulnerable position though… Shaking the thoughts from her head, she stood before the plump woman who had called her over; her short blonde hair curled around her cheeks as she shuffled some papers in her hand.

“Yes Mrs. Cotton, did you need something?”

“Listen, sweetheart,” she began. “I know that you already agreed to co-nurse for that young man who came in this mornin’, but you don't have to. I can tell ‘em they’ll just have to get another nurse if you want me too.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Personal reasons if you got any. It's not uncommon for folks to request a nurse they know to make things easier for ‘em, unfortunately we have to turn ‘em down more often than not, but it’s certainly rare for the police to request a specific nurse. Didn’t see a reason to tell ‘em no at the time so I kept my mouth shut, but if you don't feel comfortable, or safe for that matter, just say the word.” 

Sigrid realized that Mrs. Cotton was referring to how Kili had come in this morning under the John Doe alias with the police. The officers had said they couldn't give his real name because he was doing undercover work for and he couldn't come in until this morning without his mission being compromised. As far as she knew, no one else was asking questions since the police were already here, but a lot of the other nurses didn't feel comfortable taking a position where police needed to be standing guard. Personally requesting a nurse made things even more uneasy.

“Don't worry, Mrs. Cotton. I don't have any problems with it.”

“You’re sure?” she pressed. “You’re a good girl, and if you’re involved in something you can't get out of, you know you can tell me and I'll straighten ‘em out for ya.” Sigrid laughed at her supervisor’s protectiveness.

“Honestly, I'm okay. But thank you for the offer.”

“Alright then. These are his test results. The boy’s in impeccable shape; no wonder the police want him for something. There no sign of infection and nothing's too torn up inside with all things considered, but we’re still gonna need to keep him here for about a week and a half or so till he’s fully recovered. Longer if he decides to push it.”

“Do you think he will?”

“Sweetheart, I see his type in here all the time. Reckless bastards always try to leave before they're ready and just make things worse. You watch out for boys like that, they’ll break your heart. Hopefully, the cops will at least keep him from leaving the room.”

“I’ll do my best to keep an eye on him as well. Thank you, Mrs. Cotton.” She took the results papers from the older woman and put it on her own clipboard, holding it close to her chest as she turned back towards Kili’s room. While she had seen plenty of police officers wandering about, if she hadn’t known to look for them, she probably wouldn’t have noticed the number of large men slinking around the halls as well. Fortunately, Sigrid hadn’t seen Thranduil or Thorin all day and she hoped that it stayed that way. The last thing that she, let alone the hospital, needed was some kind of brawl or shouting match when things were already so busy around here.

She completely understood why Fili didn’t really want her to meet Thorin so soon, though she’s not sure how much good waiting would have done. While he seemed like a very passionate and loyal man who loved his family, he was still quite frightening. It was only this morning, after Fili had dropped her off, that she realized just how utterly stupid it was for her to speak out turn to him like she knew what she was talking about. Here she was, the daughter of a small coffee shop owner with no real experience in the world, challenging a man with a status and knowledge equivalent to that of a king! A proper ruler of people who had sacrificed and fought to get want he wanted and she thought should tell him what to do? Head of the Family or not, Thorin was not one that she should test or disrespect. She shouldn’t do so to anyone in the Durin family. The truth was that to them she was an outsider, not to be trusted, and it didn’t matter how much she cared for Fili or how much she was willing to learn about or protect his family. It would be a long time before she gained respect of any kind from them, if ever. 

She knew, at least, that Fili would be by her side through it all. She still couldn’t believe that they were… together, if he even wanted to call it that. He was so handsome and kind to her that she felt like he was pulled from one of her mother’s old fairytale books. Even before she had found out that he was a Durin, she felt so ordinary compared to him, like she wasn’t worthy of being with someone so attractive and successful and charming, yet here she was, spending the night at his place and making a complete fool of herself. She was so embarrassed about last night, that she was afraid she’d blown it with him and she wouldn’t blame him for wanting nothing to do with her, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by anything. In the end, he was more concerned about her. 

As she approached the door the Kili’s room, she remembered how he had said goodbye to her at the front door of her home. He told her that he had to get some work done at Erebor but he would see her later, and he gave her a sweet kiss that left her wanting more as he drove off. That was early this morning. It was now early to mid-afternoon and she was already feeling lonely without him. She sighed, wondering when she would see him again, but as she quietly opened the hospital door, she found a lion sitting protectively at the end of his brother’s bed and bearing his fangs to her in a smug grin.

“Fili!” she gasped in surprise. “I thought you had to work?”

“I got everything that needed to be done at Erebor finished already. Everything else I can get done on my own time.” He stood up and sauntered over to her before pressing a kiss to her lips before she could protest. It was quick, unexpected, and over far too soon. “You didn’t think I would miss an opportunity to check on my brother and see my girlfriend did you?” She could feel her face burning at the word ‘girlfriend’, having never heard him used that to describe her before. He was the one who said it. It wasn’t just her. They really were official. The butterflies in her stomach and throat were rapidly migrating to the other parts of her body, but she did her best to calm them down.

“Watch it!” she warned as she playfully pushed him away and looked around the room. She quietly peeked her head out into the hall before shutting the door behind her. “People might see. Hospitals might be good at stopping viruses but they are excellent at spreading gossip and there’s no medicine for that.”

“Let them talk, or are you embarrassed by me, Pretty Sigrid?” She rolled her eyes but was glad that he didn’t try anything else. She really was happy to see him here, but if Mrs. Cotton found out that she knew him or Kili personally, she might have her removed from staff due to conflict of interest, regardless of their earlier conversation. 

She walked over to check on Kili who was lying on the hospital bed out like a light. The doctors had ordered him to stay put, but Kili seemed to brush it off when they told him that a fight like the one he had gotten into could be serious. Now that he was on pain meds, denied access to coffee, and confined to a room until his test and the doctors told him otherwise, he had little else to do but sleep things off. His expression was the most relaxed that she had ever seen. Then again she’d only seen Kili twice before; at the coffee shop when he was having trouble with Tauriel, and after he had been stabbed in the leg. She checked his pulse and his other vitals and found everything to be completely normal, not that she expected them to be any different. His cuts were all bandaged and the swelling on his face was gone but had been replaced with dark bruises. She did her best not to imagine Fili with the same discoloration since he was much fairer than his younger brother. Her’s eyes caught a flash of red and she found Tauriel also asleep in the chair next to his bed. She was curled up in a ball like a cat and it looked like she had stolen one of Kili’s pillows for herself, but Sigrid was pretty sure that it wasn’t much more comfortable than sleeping without one. 

“How is he?” Fili asked from behind her.

“He’s absolutely fine. We’ve got antibiotics in him and his leg has been properly cleaned and stitched now so it shouldn’t get infected. X-ray’s came back and nothing is broken. He shouldn’t be in any pain thanks to the painkillers we gave him and he’s probably asleep because of them too. Poor guy’s probably exhausted after everything that happened to him. Tauriel too. He should wake up in an hour or so.”

“I don’t know about that,” he chuckled. “Ki’s a heavy sleeper. Once when we were younger, he stole all the covers from me while we slept and after I took them back, I literally kicked him out of the bed and he still didn’t wake up.”

“Somehow I can see that happening,” she giggled. “Perhaps if he sleeps everything off, he’ll be out of here faster than Mrs. Cotton anticipates.”

“How long does she think he’ll be here?”

“A week and a half, maybe more.”

“Oh yeah, he’ll be out of here by then.”

“You know,” she looked around the room and gave a quick glance to the closed door. She hooked her clipboard onto the end of Kili’s bed smirked. “She warned me about boys like your brother.”

“Oh?” he grinned.

“She said I should watch out for ‘reckless bastards’ like him. They’ll break my heart.” He stepped towards her as his arms snaked around her waist; his broad hands on her back gave her chills as he pulled her close.

“It’s a good thing I’m not that reckless then, or would you prefer someone with more of a ‘bad boy’ persona like him rather than a stuck-up businessman like me?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I think you’re daring enough for my taste.” He brought her in for a kiss again as she rested her hands on his strong arms. Mrs. Cotton had mentioned how Kili was in good shape, but Fili definitely was as well and she felt so safe when he held her against his body. Fili may be a businessman, but he was still a strong fighter, a warrior at heart and he kissed her like she was his last meal every time. He rested his forehead against hers as she caught her breath and looked into his light blue eyes. Perhaps it was the lack of air, but every time she looked deep enough into his eyes she felt like she was flying.

“I have something for you,” he whispered and she stepped back in shock.

“What?”

“A gift.” With a gleam in his eye, he grabbed his bag and began to rummage through it. He pulled out a small black pouch and eagerly placed it in her hands before stepping away, waiting for her to open it with anticipation.

“Fili, you didn’t… I couldn’t…”

“Can you at least see what it is before you refuse?” With a sigh, she unfastened the small knot and felt the shimmer of cold metal on her hand as she poured out the contents.  
She rolled the gem of the necklace in her palm. The round briolette cut jewel was a deep blue that glittered like sunlight on a lake and sat on her hand like a raindrop. Detailed silver metalwork twisted from the pointed top and flowed around the gem in an intricate design, leaving the base exposed to the light. Sigrid lifted the necklace up on the silver chain and brought it into the sun to get a clearer look.

“Oh my gods, Fili,” she gasped. “This is… I can’t…”

“I take it you like it then,” he grinned with pride. To say that she liked it would be an understatement. It was absolutely stunning, and for him to just give this to her out of the blue, she didn’t know what to think.

“How much did this cost? It must be worth a fortune! I can’t take this!” 

“I mean if that’s the only reason you can’t accept it then you don’t have to worry cause I didn’t pay a penny for it.”

“You… you didn’t steal this from your uncle did you?” She was starting to feel like she should be offended by his laughter. These were valid questions she was asking!

“No, I didn’t steal it from my uncle or anyone else for that matter.”

“Then how—”

“I made it for you,” he confessed. She stared at him in awe, looked back at the finely crafted jewelry, then back to him. It didn’t seem possible to her. “Faceted the gem and twisted the metal myself. Been working on it for a few days and finished it up this morning. That’s why I had to go to Erebor.”

“You actually made this? For me?” Sigrid found it hard to form words at the moment. She had never been given a gift like this in her entire life. He made this. “I thought that you worked with numbers and emails and stuff. I didn’t know that you knew how to make jewelry too.”

“All Durins are expected to know their craft inside and out. Each family specializes in different crafts like metal work or glassblowing or gemstone cutting, but the Blood Durins need to be proficient with all of them. Ki knows how to make things too; he treats it like an art project of his. I haven’t exactly mastered everything yet but, well, this is what I can do.”

“Fili, this is amazing! It’s so beautiful,” she smiled as she tried to keep tears from misting up her eyes. “I feel like it belongs in a museum or something. Are you sure you want to give it to me?” He walked over to her and took the necklace from her hand.

“Turn around,” he told her. She turned her back to him and felt like she was being blessed as his arms reached around her and he fastened the silver chain around her neck. She found her fingers gently rolling over the gem, hardly able to believe that it was there. She didn’t deserve someone like him. He lightly tugged her shoulders so she would turn to face him again.

“How does it look?” she asked as he smiled at her.

“Beautiful,” he replied, not looking at the jewelry at all. She definitely didn’t deserve him. He kissed her again and she brought her hand around the back of his neck to keep him close. She did her best to pour all of her appreciation into the kiss before they parted to catch their breath. “I should be getting back to work,” he frowned.

“I thought you said you were done?”

“At Erebor. I still have things to do and I have a feeling that if I stay here, I won't get any of it done.” Sigrid found herself frowning as she tried to come up with ways to convince him to change his mind but she knew it wouldn’t work.

“Do you have to?”

“Yes, and so do you. I’m sure my brother isn't your only patient and I’m not in a hospital bed so my uncle doesn’t expect me to slow down. I promise I won't go far; I’ll just be in the waiting room where the Wi-Fi is the strongest, not that it’s very good to begin with.” 

“Here,” she said as she pulled a pen out of her pocket. She grabbed his hand and began to scribble on it. “This is the password for the hospital’s stronger Wi-Fi. We can't have slow internet after all. Just don't tell anyone I gave it to you.”

“I will guard it with my life.” Fili grabbed his bags and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I'll see you later,” he promised and then he walked out the door. Sigrid let out a sad sigh, her feelings of loneliness quickly returning as she moved around the bed to check Kili’s leg. She didn't see any blood soaking through the bandage meaning he was in good shape, and so she gathered her clipboard and prepared to leave, only to be stopped by another nurse who was entering the room.

“Who was that?” the female nurse asked excitedly. Her silky blonde hair curling and bouncing at the edge of her shoulders seemed to exaggerate her enthusiasm.

“W-Who? I didn’t see anyone.” 

“Don't play dumb with me! I mean the guy who just walked out of this very room.”

“I don't know what you're talking about, Irene. I'm not playing dumb.” Sigrid knew that she was done for once her friend’s eyes went wide.

“Oh my gods. That was coffee shop guy, wasn’t it? That was Fili!” 

Sigrid was now seriously regretting confiding in Irene about her feelings. She had told her friend all about how for the past two and a half months she had been admiring this beautiful guy at her father’s coffee shop with hair like summer sunlight and a smile that made her knees weak, how a few weeks ago she had finally gotten the courage to introduce herself and they did their work together for hours, how he stayed with her after Smaug had scared her and made her feel safe again. However, she hadn't told her how she and Fili were now a couple, how he kissed like a prince (which she now knew he was), and how he made her feel like she was the only person in the world when he looked at her.

“Irene, you need to quiet down! There are people sleeping in here!”

“I'm right, aren't I? Your face says it all! Oh!” Irene grinned, her voice losing no volume or excitement. “Holy shit. How did you land a guy like him?”

“Oh geez thanks,” she scoffed in offence. 

“You know what I mean. You weren't kidding when you said he looked like some sort of god. What was he doing here? Are you guys dating now? How long? Is he a good kisser? Have you slept with him? Why haven't you told me anything?”

“I've been busy!” Sigrid defended, not willing to answer _any_ of those questions. She didn't even try to hide her blush anymore; it was useless.

“Busy with him?”

“Irene!” 

“I'm serious! You’ve been going on about him forever and now he shows up here? This is huge!”

“It's really not.”

“That jewelry around your neck tells me a different story,” she smirked. Sigrid’s grip tightened around the gem, unaware that she had been playing with it in the first place. “You weren't wearing it twenty minutes ago when I saw you in the break room. Did he just give that to you? It looks expensive.”

“I’m sure it isn't real.” Or at least, now she was hoping it wasn't.

“You’re not denying it.”

“Oh my— You're unbelievable.”

“Does he have a brother you could introduce me to?” Sigrid held her tongue. Maybe if she didn’t react at all Irene wouldn’t be suspicious, but something in her eyes must have tipped her friend off because she then looked at Kili sleeping a few feet away. All at once, understanding, disappointment, and concern flashed across Irene's face and she looked back at Sigrid with a whole new list of questions in her eyes.

“You know who this guy is?” Any trace of enthusiasm in her friend’s voice vanished.

“Irene I…”

“And you're dating his brother?”

“You can't tell anyone, Irene. I’m serious.”

“Sig, are you involved in something dangerous? Is that why you haven’t told me anything? Why are the police here? Is this Fili guy some sort of—”

“He’s not a bad guy or anything, I promise! Trust me, all I know is that his brother is doing some undercover work with the police, just like they told you. They asked for me to be the nurse since I already knew who he was and the fewer people know about the situation the better. If Mrs. Cotton knew that I was dating this guys brother, she would remove me for conflict of interest and—”

“Sig! It’s okay, I get it!” Irene laughed as she put her hands up defensively. Sigrid hadn't even realized she was speaking so fast until she had to catch her breath. “I was just worried about you, that's all. If you really think that you're safe and you’ve got the police watching your back then I believe you. I won't say anything to anyone, I promise.” Sigrid let out an exhausted sigh of relief. 

“Thank you, Irene.”

“So I’m guessing she means, that he’s taken?” Irene motioned to Tauriel who was still sleeping in the chair. 

“Yeah… sorry.”

“Damn. Well if you happen to meet a hot cousin of theirs, hook a sister up.”

“I’ll do my best,” she laughed.

“I’ll let you finish up here; I’m behind on my rounds. I’ll see you later, and tell Fili I say ‘Hi’,” she smiled as she skipped out the door. Sigrid let out a frustrated groan as she leaned against the edge of the hospital bed. She dodged one bullet but ended up right in line with another. 

“She seems nice.” The unexpected voice caused Sigrid to jump. She looked over to see that Tauriel was wide-awake and looking at her. Goodness, how many times was she going to be surprised in just ten minutes?

“Tauriel! I’m sorry,” Sigrid apologized. “We didn’t wake you did we?”

“No, I’ve been awake for some time now.”

“You have? F-For how long exactly?” she stammered, afraid of the answer.

“Fili woke me up when he came in, which was about five minutes before you did.” Sigrid felt herself glow red and brought her clipboard up to hide her face. That meant that Tauriel heard everything, the kisses she and Fili shared, her dreadful attempts at flirting, and Irene saying that she though Fili was a god. This was absolutely mortifying. She heard the redhead let out a sympathetic string of laughter and so she peeked over the clipboard. “I’m sorry. I would have told you sooner, but being nosey is one of my biggest faults. You and Fili seem good for each other.”

“Oh. Thank you… So do you and Kili. I’m guessing you two worked things out?”

“Yeah. It only took him getting stabbed to realize he was being an idiot, though maybe I was being a little pushy.” 

“There's nothing wrong with wanting to understand someone's actions, especially someone you care about.” Their conversation fell into silence with the uncertainty of how to proceed hanging in the air between them. “How long have you been here?”

“Since I brought him in this morning, so about…” Tauriel thought for a moment, “six hours? Give or take.”

“Have you gotten anything to eat?” Tauriel gave a guilty smile in response.

“I haven't left the room. I'm too worried that Thranduil will be too true to his word and the police will follow me if I leave. I don't want to leave him unprotected.”

“You need to eat something! After all that fighting last night, you must be starving!” Sigrid quickly turned to leave. “I’ll go and get you food from the cafeteria.”

“No, please,” Tauriel stopped her. “Don't trouble yourself. Actually, if you're not too busy, I was hoping we could talk for a little while if you don't mind?” She tapped the empty chair beside her, offering it to Sigrid. She didn't have to be anywhere immediately, and perhaps this would be a good opportunity for her to gain some insight on how Tauriel was dealing with the whole “my boyfriend is actually a prince whose family is being hunted by a dangerous gangster” situation. She took a breath to calm herself and walked over to sit down next to the young woman with fiery hair.

Tauriel adjusted her pillow, placing it behind her back so they could face each other properly and Sigrid couldn't help but admire the tall, elegant woman before her. Even as she sat in the small, uncomfortable hospital chair, Tauriel was poised, shoulders back and legs crossed. She was radiating confidence, surety, and strength just as she had done when she was addressing Thranduil and Thorin. Not only was she beautiful, but she had fought off multiple attackers the night before, and while she had quite a number of nasty bruises herself, Sigrid knew that Tauriel was just as capable of protecting Kili as she was herself. 

And then a pit began to form in Sigrid's stomach. Perhaps someone like Tauriel would be a better match for Fili than herself. She was nothing like this warrior goddess before her who could take down four armed men at once. All she could do was clean up a few cuts here and there; she wasn’t even a fully registered nurse. What could she possibly offer the heir to a major corporate company? A family that was practically royalty? She couldn't defend herself in this war and she wasn't sure how to handle this world she was now involved in. Durins were warriors and Tauriel fit amongst them just fine, while Sigrid was feeling more and more like a burden.

“How are you holding up?” Tauriel asked.

“I don’t know to be honest. I’m not sure if I’m in shock or if I’m numb.”

“When did you find out that Fili was a Durin?”

“About two and a half weeks ago.”

“Well, “ she sighed, “you’ve had quite a bit more time to adjust than I have. I found out a week ago, but didn’t really learn anything till last night.”

“You seem to be handling it well enough.”

“So do you.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m a wreak compared to you.”

“What do you mean?” Tauriel looked quizzically. 

“I don’t know. You just seem so… calm about everything. The war, who Kili is, the fighting. None of it seems to make you nervous at all.”

“Heh. I’ve never really been one to shy away from excitement. Thranduil says I’m like my parents in that way, and I’ve grown up around fighting and this ‘war’ all my life because of him,” she laughed. “He and I have never really seen eye to eye on much of anything, so it’s easy to stand up to him, but I’m not certainly not fearless. You should have seen me last night before everyone got to my place. I was going out of my mind I was so panicked. Kili passed out on me more than once while he was bleeding out and I was just running around my house in terror, afraid that we had been followed, afraid that he had been hit too hard and wasn’t going to wake up, just afraid.” Sigrid knew that fear. She had experienced it herself all through last night when she was with Fili and didn’t want to leave his side, but she just couldn’t imagine Tauriel being that way. 

“You could have protected him though right? You know how to fight.”

“Doesn’t make it any less terrifying. Just because you know how to fight doesn’t mean you’ll win or that you won’t get hurt. You can never predict how things will end. You don’t know if your experience is enough or if you might make one mistake that will end you. I’m sure Fili was afraid last night too, fighting all those guys by himself.” Sigrid tore her gaze away from Tauriel and looked at the white tile floor. 

“After my father told me who Fili was and that he wasn’t dangerous to us, I thought I didn't have to worry about anything. I thought that I could handle who he was, but last night…” she trailed off. Last night was something that she thought might happen but had somehow convinced herself never would. She was surprised when Tauriel reached out and placed a gentle hand atop her own.

“I think we both learned last night that we weren’t getting into what we thought we were,” she soothed. “We had an idea of how things would work out, as if being with someone dangerous was going to be exciting and fun, maybe even romantic, but this danger isn’t pretend. There are real risks and real dangers of people getting hurt. Reality really is a jagged pill to swallow.” Sigrid felt the coiled up tension in her shoulders slowly begin to release. She and Tauriel really were in the same boat; both of them dating Blood Durins and not a clue of how to deal with them. It brought her some comfort knowing that she wouldn’t have to go through all of this alone.

“Does it… change how you feel about him at all?” Sigrid asked hesitantly. Tauriel looked at nothing in particular as she thought of a response. 

“I worry about him a little more, and I understand some of his choices a bit better, but I don’t think I care for him any less than before. What about you?”

“I’m afraid I actually like Fili more now,” she blushed. 

“He cares about you a lot. I can tell,” Tauriel mused.

“Really?”

“He gave you that necklace didn’t he?” Sigrid’s hand immediately moved up to touch the gemstone with the tips of her fingers again, still not quite used to its presence. “It’s really beautiful.”

“Is it really that significant for him to give me something? His family has always been in the business of fine jewelry. Do you think this means anything?”

“I don’t know. From what little I understand, the Durin family is very traditional, as if they have their own culture, but they are also very secretive and don’t share a lot of those customs. If what Thranduil and Legolas told me is true though, and Durins really are selfish bastards, then giving you something must mean you’re important to him.” Sigrid now clutched the pendant tightly in her hand. She shouldn’t have accepted something so valuable. He shouldn’t have given it to her in the first place. She didn’t feel worthy of it.

“What’s wrong, Sigrid?” Tauriel questioned, interrupting her thoughts. 

“I just,” Sigrid thought for a moment, trying to choose her words. “I don’t feel like I’m the right person for Fili.”

“What are you talking about? You care for him, don’t you? You just told me you like him more now.”

“And I do! But that doesn’t mean I’m any good for him. He’s so important to his family and to a lot of people, there have to be some standards in place right? When you’re dating someone, there are only two outcomes: you either break up, or you get married. I know that I’m thinking incredibly far head, probably too far ahead, but Fili is the heir to the Durin line and I’m just…” Sigrid stopped herself, not exactly sure of what she was, but certain of what she wasn’t. “I’m not Durin material.”

“Well, Sigrid,” Tauriel gave a sweet smile, “let me ask you this: How much do you actually know about Durins? Because if you know as much as I do, which is not much, you can’t really know what it means to be ‘Durin material’, right? For all you know you already are.”

“Yes, but—”

“Do you think he hasn’t considered these things out for himself already? That he hasn’t questioned his choices? Fili is a smart guy. Unlike his brother, I can’t imagine him rushing into something without considering the consequences. He knew Smaug and Azog were after him and he still thought that you were worth protecting. He’s chosen you the same way that you’ve chosen him. You shouldn’t doubt yourself.” 

“I’m a liability though. I'll only hold him back because I’m so weak and have to be protected. I just can’t help but feel like someone else might be better suited for him; someone like you.”

“Me? Um, thank you I guess, but why on earth would you say that?”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean you specifically. I know that you and Kili are… What I mean is… Well, you and Kili are so much alike. You’re both strong and daring and you’re amazing fighters, and I can just see you fitting in so well with the Durin family. I’m quiet and self-conscious and I can’t do anything. Fili is confident and brave and talented, and to top it all off he’s a prince! He and I have things in common sure, but he needs someone who matches with him like you and Kili do and that’s not me. I don’t think I can be the person that can live up to the standards of Blood Durins. I’ll only bring him down,” Sigrid frowned to herself. As nice as it was to have someone to talk to about her feelings, it didn’t make things any less disappointing.

“I think you do yourself an injustice Sigrid, him as well.” Sigrid looked up in confusion and Tauriel smiled back at her. “It’s easy to see the qualities that you dislike about yourself, hell I’ve done it to myself for years, but for all you know you might have something that Fili admires about you more than anything, something you can’t see yourself. You could be so much more valuable than you even know.”

“Tauriel…”

“And you can’t be thinking that he and Kili are the same, or that he’s just a prince because he’s not.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Tauriel looked over to the sleeping prince in the hospital bed. The fondness in her eyes made Sigrid feel like she was intruding on a private moment. “You’re acting like Fili and Kili are the same person; like because they are brothers and Blood Durin heirs they have the same wants and needs. Kili talks about his brother all the time, and they’re so close you’d think they were twins, but in reality, they couldn’t be more different from each other.

"I don’t know Fili personally like you do so for all I know nothing I’m about to say is true at all. From what I’ve heard, Kili much more spirited and reckless than his brother so he needs someone to kick his ass in line; something I’m happy to do. Fili doesn't need that though; he’s much more calculated and relaxed. He likes to take things slow and think them through before he does something. For someone like Kili or myself, that can be kind of boring.

“Fili is talented for sure, but he has a lot of pressure and weight on his shoulders. I don't exactly know what he does at work, but if last night was any indication of how Thorin is with him, I'm sure it must be stressful. Because of his position as heir, he needed to learn how to cope with it and as a result, he’s gained a lot of confidence in himself so he can be the kind of person his people need. Kili, on the other hand, doesn’t really know how to handle stress or responsibility or confrontation or anything like that. He’s outgoing when he wants to be and is obviously never afraid to pick a fight, but he doesn’t have much confidence in himself. 

“Remember last night how everyone was fighting? Kili barely spoke up at all unless the conversation was directly about him and it was Fili that took charge instead. Kili is far from someone who needs protecting, but he would rather follow someone and act as back up, while Fili is much more of a leader. If Fili were to date someone who was a natural leader just like him or someone like me who’s headstrong and doesn’t like to be pushed around, I have a feeling that they would argue a lot and wouldn’t be happy.”

“Maybe…” 

“And you also have to remember that Fili isn’t just a prince or a warrior. Yes, he has a role to play in his family and yes, he’s strong and knows how to fight, but he’s also a guy that you met at a coffee shop one afternoon. He’s not fighting off gangsters 24/7 and he’s an entirely different person outside of his title. I’m willing to bet that he’s a different person when he’s around you as well. He’s been heir to the Durin line all his life, surrounded by strong men and women who not only have expectations for him and have practically worshiped the ground he walks on. Maybe he doesn’t need another person like that in his life, maybe he needs someone who genuinely cares about how his day has been or what he wants like you already do.” Sigrid looked back at Tauriel in disbelief. How old was she? What has she been through to gain this sort of wisdom?

“Um, so are you in school to become a therapist or…” Tauriel suddenly gasped and her eyes went wide.

“Oh my—! I'm sorry!” she apologized frantically, hands flying up to cover her mouth. Sigrid was both confused and relieved by the sudden human reaction from the woman who until this moment was infallible. “I’ve been rambling on and on like I know your whole situation! I didn’t mean to. Shit, I can't even solve my own relationship problems. What am I doing butting into yours?”

“No! I appreciate your advice! Really I do!”

“I’m so sorry! I don’t even know what I’ve been saying all this time. I’m probably just projecting. You don’t have to listen to me.”

“You've… thought about these things a lot haven't you?” Sigrid immediately regretted her words the moment they left her mouth. She watched as Tauriel’s frantic and embarrassed expression dropped and became unrecognizably sad. 

“Yes. I’ve had a good amount of time to think about a lot of things.” It was in that moment that Sigrid remembered exactly what she had been through. Kili had ignored her for almost a week, left her alone with the weight of his secret to contemplate if everything was worth it as she desperately reached out to him. Sigrid had heard from Fili how depressed his brother had become and how angry they thought she was at him, but she had forgotten that Tauriel wasn’t just angry with Kili, she was just as heartbroken as he was.

“I’m sorry,” Sigrid whispered. “Fili told how his brother… He shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“Please, there’s no need for you of all people to apologize,” Tauriel assured her with a soft smile. “Kili made a mistake, one that hurt both of us, but he did it because he thought he was right. It was important for us to go through, maybe even needed. When he cut me off, I didn’t have anyone else to talk to, so I was able to spend a lot of time with myself deciding what it was I wanted. In the end, I convinced myself that I wasn’t going to listen to what Thranduil or anyone else sad about the Durins because I knew who the real Kili was and he wasn’t a bad person; stupid, but not bad. If he didn’t want to be with me because he didn’t feel the same way, then fine, I could let him go, but I wasn’t about to let it end if he was cutting me off because of his name. I decided to be with him because I care about him, not his name or title. ”

“Even if that title comes with an entire culture of people to care for?” Sigrid pressed.

“A rose by any other name, right?”

“Durins aren’t roses.” Tauriel let out a loud and genuine laugh.

“No, they certainly aren’t! They sure need to be cared for as if they were though! Ha, ha! Oh, Sigrid. The truth is that I don’t have the answers either. I don’t know what the future holds, what makes me different from every other person that Kili has dated, or what I have to offer the prince of a secret royal family either. I’m at just as much of a loss as you are because I don’t know what he needs.” Sigrid looked at her hands and curled her fingers around the edge of her scrubs.

“I want to take care of Fili,” she confessed. “And I want him to know that I care about him, I really do, but I can’t just ignore the fact that he is an heir. I can act like he isn’t all I want and pretend that he is just some guy I met in my father’s coffee shop, but the day will come that he’ll be the Head of the Family. He should be with someone who understands what that means, who can fight with him, who is as skilled and brave and—”

“But what if you already are those things?”

“I’m not.”

“And who says you can’t become them if you wanted to?” Sigrid didn’t answer, having not considered that before. “Sigrid, Fili isn’t looked to date a clone of himself. If he was I’m sure that there are plenty of other Durin clan women who know just as much, are just as strong and brave as he is, but he’s not dating them; he’s dating you. If there is one thing I’ve learned from this conversation, it’s that you’ve invested your whole heart into him. You care so deeply for Fili that you are willing to give up every drop of happiness you might have by being with him if it means that he can be all that he’s meant to be. But what if you’re the one who can help him get there? What if all he needs is you to stand by his side and support him?”

“But is that really enough?” Sigrid asked Tauriel and herself. She wanted to be there for Fili, to support him through all of his troubles like she had – or felt she had – last night. She wanted to help him, not be a burden or hold him back. She wanted him to know how she felt about him, and for him to feel the same way about her. She was so far gone and she wanted him to have everything he ever needed. Could she really give that to him? 

“I don’t know, Sigrid,” Tauriel replied. “But I would hate for either of us to let our fears get in the way before we have the chance to find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Sigrid gets her time to shine now! She and Tauriel really needed some time to talk. She won't be appearing in the consistent pattern I've set like the others but she will show up here and there in the future so I hope everyone looks forward to it! Thank you again for all the kudos and comments!


	17. Unwanted Attention - Tauriel

Kili had warned her this would happen, but she didn’t think it would be this bad. He had been recovering remarkably fast and would be released from the hospital later this afternoon after only five days in the hospital, but during that time, school started back up and so did the rumors.

Tauriel had lost count of how many times she had heard the phrase “Is it true that…?” during the week, even when it wasn’t directed at her. She had heard it in class, while she was out running, even while she was out eating lunch with her friends. It was as if her very presence in public gave people permission to approach her and ask rude personal questions. For the first half of the semester, it was like nobody even knew Kili’s name, but now that he had been absent for five days, he was like a celebrity and she was quickly becoming one as well. 

Is it true the Kili is in the hospital? Like, the hospital, hospital?

Is it true that you punched a guy in the throat?

Is it true that he saved your life?

Is it true that you’re going out with him now?

Is it true that Kili fought off 20 men for you?

Is it true that you’re a spy who knows 15 different kinds of karate?

Is it true that Kili got stabbed in the leg and has to get it amputated?

The stories that people were coming up with were out of control, but again and again, Tauriel politely explained the story that they had come up with: She had run into him downtown late so he offered to take her home and a few completely random men tried to take her bag from her. She got a little banged up but Kili helped fight them off. He got hurt but would be released from the hospital on Friday, and Friday couldn’t come soon enough. 

Tauriel quickly began to notice other students acting strangely around her as well. Ori and Bofor in her creative writing class have started sitting a little bit closer to her and another student, Gimli, had been following her around campus as well. She confronted Kili about it when she went to visit him after class one day. 

“I just told them to keep an eye out for you, that’s all,” Kili explained.

“So they’re all a part of your whole Durin… clan or whatever? How many people do you have following me? Do they watch me when I go home too?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Kili,” she groaned, her voice dripping with annoyance. “What the hell kind of trouble am I going to get in at school?”

“I don’t know! Azog could be planning anything! He’s unpredictable. I just want to make sure that you’re safe.” As flattered as she was, she had to remind him once again, that she can take care of herself, and that if Azog wanted to hunt them down at school, he would have taken care of the Durins five years ago. Azog might be barbaric, but he was also sadistic; he liked to play with his food. 

Tauriel knew that things would only get worse once Kili came back to school on Monday and everything started all over again, but she was already sick and tired of all of the questioning she had gone through during the week. She was starting to wonder if she should just make a pamphlet of frequently asked questions to hand out to people who approached her. If she wanted to be interrogated, she would have gone to Thranduil. 

He had been giving her the silent treatment for the past week and was grateful for it because if she had to deal with him nagging at her on top of everyone else, she was going to explode. Fortunately, Arwen, Eowyn, and Aragorn had been more than supportive of her as they fended off mob after mob of students who were desperate for any bit of gossip they could sink their teeth into. Each of her friends had heard her explain her story so many times that they were beginning to answer questions for her. By the time Friday finally rolled around, she had just about had enough.

She walked through the hospital doors and saw Kili at the front desk as an impressed Nurse Cotton was filling out paperwork to release him. She had said during his last checkup that he had made a remarkable recovery and was happy to say that he seemed to be walking just fine and there shouldn’t be any further complications, however, he should continue to take his antibiotics until he ran out, just to be safe and keep up with physical therapy from his private doctor. Tauriel then noticed that two of Thorin’s bodyguards, Nori and Dori, were there to check him out. 

She had gotten to know the two of them well enough seeing as they always seemed to be close by whenever she came to visit, and they seemed to like her, or at least not be bothered by her. Dori was a bit overprotective and more hesitant towards her than Nori, though Kili warned her that Nori was just trying to get on her good side. The man was a bit of a kleptomaniac and the more she trusted him, the more likely he would be to lift something off of her. She was shocked when she found out that he was able to get one of the nurse's security keys, but Dori made him return it since they already had Sigrid for anything they might need and it would be rude to get someone in trouble just for the fun of it. As she walked across the lobby, Kili turned to notice her and a big smile filled his face as he rushed to greet her. His strides were slightly off, but not enough to make her worry.

“You’re free to leave?” she asked excitedly. 

“I am being released as we speak! Thank goodness too. I don’t think I could handle another day of hospital food. Next time, try to sneak me something in would ya?”

“Let’s try to make sure that there is no next time, okay?” she pleaded. She didn’t want to think of him in that hospital bed ever again. She had put on a brave face for Sigrid, but it still scared her every time she looked at him in that bed. 

“Fair enough,” he agreed. “Are you here to whisk me away?”

“You might say that. I’m here to take you to lunch for a proper meal.”

“Thank the Gods! Where are we going?”

“You are coming with us,” Dori spoke up from behind Kili. The older man with a short gray beard seemed to be unaware of Tauriel’s presence; that or he was ignoring her. “We have orders from your uncle to take you straight home from the hospital.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kili protested. “Has he put me under house arrest or something?”

“No, but he wants us to be sure that you make it home safely.”

“So you drop me off at home and then I just leave immediately with Tauriel. Why not just cut out the middle and let me just leave with her now?”

“Because Thorin—”

“My uncle is too busy covering his own ass right now. Come on Dori,” Kili begged. “Let me go out to lunch with my girlfriend.”

“I don’t see no harm in it,” Nori interrupted with paperwork in hand. Nori scratched is ginger beard and looked over to his elder brother. Tauriel began to wonder of beards were common amongst the Durins. “The boy’s been locked up ‘ere for a week. Give ‘im a chance to stretch his legs, breath the fresh air.”

“Do you want to be the one to tell Thorin that we didn’t see his nephew home safely?” Dori argued. “I for one am not going to line myself up for the chopping block!”

“What’s wrong with ‘im taking a little detour? He can go out to lunch with her, and we can take ‘im home after. No harm, no foul.”

“Is that alright with you?” Kili asked her. As much as she would rather have lunch with Kili and not have bodyguards watching them from across the restaurant, if that was what it took to get them off their back, then so be it.

“I don’t mind.”

“Great! It’s settled then!” Kili smiled as he began to push her out the doors. “I’ll ride with you!”

“Kili! Get back here!” she heard Dori call after them. 

“You’re too hard on the kid,” Nori quipped. 

“And you’re too soft!”

“The boy’s already got a mother and a girlfriend, he don’t need a nanny too! Stop spoiling his fun!” Tauriel and Kili scurried away from the squabbling guards and quickly got into Tauriel’s car. Perhaps if they were quick enough, they could give the brothers the slip. They found themselves shouting at each other to hurry and giggling as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“Do you think we escaped?” Tauriel asked out of breath from laughing.

“For a least five minutes,” Kili said as he looked out the back window. “Maybe more if Nori keeps stalling. I’m just happy to be out of there.” The two of them continued to laugh, suggesting back roads and detours that they could take to throw his handlers off as they tried to figure out where to eat.

“How’ve classes been since I’ve been gone?” Kili questioned causing Tauriel to let out an exhausted groan. “That bad huh? I told you people would find out.”

“I have no idea how. People just keep asking me the same questions over and over again. It’s exhausting. It’s safe to say that nobody knows you’re a Durin though.”

“Well, that’s a positive. Anything about us? Like you know… as a couple?” The hesitation in his voice actually brought her some comfort; this was as different to him as it was to her. Understandably so considering they had just revealed more about themselves to one another after a few weeks then they had shared with some of their closest friends. Things between them were moving incredibly fast, but she wasn’t complaining. The story of their adventure in town was a wildfire right now, however, when it came to revealing anything about them as a them to others, exposure had been to a minimum.

“People have asked if we’re dating, but I keep telling them it’s nothing. I don’t know why you don’t want people to know about us. Are you afraid it will get back to the company? Your uncle already knows.”

“That’s part of it, and just because my uncle knows about it, doesn’t mean that he or anyone else at Erebor approve.”

“Why not? It’s not like we actually need their approval or anything right?”

“It’s complicated,” he said. That was the second time he had dodged a question about his family. She sincerely hoped that this wouldn’t become a habit. “The truth is all of this is more for you than anyone else. People at school might think that you’re only going out with me because I saved your life, not because there are any genuine feelings. I don’t want people thinking that about you.”

“What do they matter? People are going to think that whether we tell them tomorrow or two weeks from now, so why hide it?”

“I’m just trying to make things easier; take things slow. In case you haven’t noticed, things are insane right now so the less stressful I can make our lives the better.“ Tauriel couldn’t help but laugh. Did he really think that school gossip was really that taxing? Considering he had been avoiding people most of the time he probably did. Perhaps it was time to help break him out of his shell.

“Well then how about tonight we destress,” she suggested. “There’s going to be a big party on campus tonight. Arwen, Eowyn, Aragorn and I are already going. Why not tag along?”

“A party? I just got out of the hospital twenty minutes ago and you already want to drag me into a drunken crowd of sweaty college idiots?”

“Come on, it’ll be fun!”

“Define fun.”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t gone to parties before.”

“Oh I have. Trust me Tauriel, you haven’t been to a party until you’ve been to a Durin party. We’re animals.”

“Well then let's go together! This whole week has been terrible and I need a chance to let loose and it won't be as fun without you. Plus it’ll be the perfect opportunity to show people that you’re not dead. Someone actually asked me that yesterday.” She noticed Kili eyeing her suspiciously. 

“You just want to drag me along so people will stop asking you questions and you can deflect them to me. You want me to go through the same hell you have been going through for the past week.” She smiled but was still disappointed he’d seen through her so easily.

“Better to get it over with sooner than later if you ask me.”

“I didn’t,” he grinned back. “But if you really want me to, I’ll go. What’s the worst that could happen?”

~

As Tauriel and her friend approached the party, she had a feeling that this was just what she needed: a night of dancing and drinking with her friends to help her forget about all of the questions that have been infuriating her and the gangsters that were hunting her down. The loud music and hectic shouts of students running around helped her drown out everything outside of the random on campus house they were walking into. She and Arwen had pregamed with Eowyn in their apartment while they waited for Kili and Aragorn to show up. She was already feeling it and it was only 10:00 pm. Kili had offered to borrow his brother’s car and be the DD since he was still on his meds. He couldn't drink without risking ending up in the hospital again and he wasn't about to take that chance, nor was Tauriel about to let him.

The house they forced themselves into was filled to the brim with drunk, hormonal college kids practically bursting out the windows as they tried to shove past each other and shout to their friends or sing along with the blasting music. Whoever owned the place seemed to have replaced most of the lamps and overheads with black lights, causing the mass of people to glow fluorescent colors as they continued to shake along with the speakers that were somewhere in the back rooms.

Arwen grabbed Tauriel and Eowyn's hands and tried shouting over the music. “Come on! Let's go dance!”

Tauriel smiled at Kili and Aragorn. “Come dance with us!”

“No thanks,” Kili yelled back. “I’m not much for dancing.”

“Please!” she begged, her lower lip protruding in a pout, but Kili shook his head.

“Gotta rest my leg.”

“I’m gonna hang back too,” Aragorn added.

“Party poopers,” Arwen accused. “Come on girls. Let's leave the boys to sulk in the corner like losers while we actually go have fun! Maybe if we’re lucky we can find Faramir here!”

“Arwen shut up!” Eowyn shouted as they dragged her into the crowd. Tauriel was a little disappointed that Kili didn’t want to go out and dance with her, but she wasn’t about to let that bring her down. She was going to drink and have fun even if it killed her. Okay maybe not kill her, but she just wanted to relax since her spring break had been such a bust. They got to the center of the room right as a new song came on and she began to dance like there was nobody else in the room. The rhythm of the music vibrated through her body and she didn’t even care that the floor was sticky from spilled drinks or that the place was so hot from all the sweaty people around her, she was finally having fun. A light tap on her shoulder brought her out of her daze and she turned to see a guy she had never met before.

“Hey,” he shouted so she could hear him. “Is it alright if I danced with you?”

“Sorry. I’m actually here with someone.”

“That’s cool. Enjoy your night,” he smiled and moved through the crowd. 

“Well that was refreshing,” Eowyn commented. 

“Not all guys are douches, Eowyn,” Arwen remarked. 

“Yeah, there are some cool guys here,” Tauriel added. 

“Says the two girls who are in relationships with two of the only decent guys I’ve ever met on campus.”

“Oh, Kili and I aren’t—”

“What about Faramir?” Arwen suggested while wiggling her eyebrow. “I was serious when I said we should go look for him.”

“Oh my gosh Taur!” a high-pitched voice interrupted before Eowyn could respond. The three girls looked over to see a thin blonde girl in a short, tight, purple dress forcing herself through the crowd as she practically threw herself at Tauriel for a hug, effectively ignoring her other friends. “It’s been sooo long!”

“Hey!” Tauriel shouted back before returning the hug, turning to her friends, and mouthing, “Who is she?” when the girl wasn’t looking. They both just shrugged and mouthed back, “Who cares?”

“How have you been? When d’ya get here?” she slurred. “Are you drunk yet?”

“We got here not that long ago, so I’m not that drunk yet,” Tauriel laughed. She did her best to casually look around the room to try and find Kili to make sure he was still around. She spotted him and Aragorn off in the corner talking.

“Here!” the girl chirped as she handed Tauriel her red cup. “Drink this! You’ll really start feeling it soon!”

“What’s in it?” she asked as she brought her nose up to the edge of the cup to smell it.

“Moostly tequila… I think.” Satisfied with the vague description, she took two big sips and let the smooth liquor mix run down her throat and settle in her stomach before handing it back to the girl. Oh yeah, she was going to really feel it soon enough, and she realized she was going to need much more as soon as the girl opened her mouth again. “I heard your spring break was insane!”

“Yeah, it was something.” Tauriel looked to her friends who were dancing with each other and gave her sympathetic looks. 

“Is Tili out of the hospital yet?”

“Kili,” she corrected. “And yeah. He’s actually here somewhere.”

“Really? No way! Where?”

“Not sure,” she lied. As much as she wanted Kili to suffer like she had, she wasn’t about to hand him over to this girl.

“Are you guys…” the girl paused to hiccup, “like dating now?”

“Ugh, why does everybody want to know that?”

“Well I mean he saved your life riight? It’s not like you can thank him with a blowjob and be done with it. That’s just totally ruude.” Tauriel looked at her friends who were staring back in disbelief at the words coming out of the drunken girl's mouth. 

“Excuse me?”

“I mean how else are you gonna repay him? Soo I figured you’d date him for at least a little bit. How long are you gonna be with him? A month or two?”

“First of all, no. Second, why wouldn’t I date him for real?” Tauriel accused. 

“Well, I mean… he’s super weird, right? He’s got that creepy loner vibe going and he’s soooo short! I mean don’t get me wrong, he’s cute and all but I know I could never date someone shorter than me. I feel like you should totally date someone like Feanor! I mean he’s totally into you and he’s so hot and…” Tauriel was wishing that she hadn’t left her knives back at her place, but she just stared back at the wasted girl before her as she continued to drunkenly babble nonsense.

“I’m sorry, do you mind?” she said pointing to the red cup again. The girl handed over the cup without a second thought and was stunned when she watched Tauriel chug down the rest of her drink without flinching. Tauriel wiped the clear liquid from the corner of her mouth on the edge of her wrist and grinned as she handed back her empty cup.

“Hey!”

“Sorry! Looks like you’re all out. You should probably go get some more. Not too much though. Wouldn’t want your shallow ass to drown in it.”

“What the fuck Taur? That was my drink!”

“Oh fuck off. I’ve been dealing with bitches like you all week. Run off and find someone else to annoy the shit out off. Go suck Feanor’s dick since you seem to care about him so much.” She turned her back and went back to her friends, not caring what happened to the girl behind her. 

“Alright!” Arwen cheered. “A party and a show! Way to put the shallow bitch in her place!”

“Should you have finished her drink?” Eowyn asked. “You already had a lot at your place.”

“I don’t care,” Tauriel pouted as she did her best to keep her mind from becoming fuzzy. “I came here to party with you guys, not cater to more superficial gossip.” Her frustration was only fueled when she felt someone behind her place their hands on her hips and try to dance with her.

“Um, excuse you! A normal person would ask first,” she turned towards the guy who was very drunk and high as he continued to hold tight to her.

“Aw come on babe, don’t be like that.”

“Don’t ‘babe’ me. Get your hands off. I’m actually here with someone.”

“Who?” he asked in frustrated confusion.

“I’m pretty sure you learning his name won’t change my answer. Go find someone else to hump.” She shoved him off of her and moved closer to her friends. “Gods, why does everyone keep coming up to me?”

“In case you’ve forgotten, you’re kind of this week’s gossip target,” Arwen reminded her. “Forget about them. You’re here to dance with us, so dance! And no more drinking unless it’s water!”

“I’m fine I swear,” she promised, though she was wondering if she was lying to herself and not her friends now. “I just… ugh! I came here to party and forget about all these annoying shitheads.”

“You had to have known that this was going to happen tonight Taur,” Eowyn frowned. “You’re practically a celebrity on campus right now and drunk people don’t have boundaries.” Tauriel let out a defeated sigh before dancing again and realized that her friends were right. She was hoping this madness was going to be directed more towards Kili, but the fact was that now even less people were going to hold back from bothering her. She wished they had skipped this stupid party and gone to some random nightclub instead and… no, she can’t think like that. It would have been too dangerous to go out in the open like that so soon. At least when they were at school they were somewhat safe. 

Tauriel shook her head and looked around the walls of the room again to try and find Kili, but couldn’t see him or Aragorn anywhere. Where did they go? Did he leave? Were they outside? She had kind of forced him to come even though he didn’t really want to. And the fact that he couldn’t drink right now probably made things really boring for him. She wasn’t sure how long they had been there, but a quick check on her phone told her they hadn’t even been there for an hour. Was the whole night going to be like this? Fending off drunken girls and wandering hands? It was better than knives and psychopaths at least.

“Taur,” Eowyn called her attention. “Don’t freak out, but Feanor is here.”

“Fuuuck,” she whined. Of fucking course, he was here. She should have expected as much the way this night had been going so far. He was probably going to try and pull her aside and ask why they didn’t hang out over break and attempt to make another move on her. “Where is he?”

“Leaning on the wall near the steps about four people behind you.”

“If he comes over here and tries to dance with me, I swear to whatever God there may be that I’m going to break his nose.”

“Tauriel, slow down. You’re drunk,” Arwen warned. “Blood on the dance floor is a shitty band, not an aspiration. Don’t do anything stupid.” Tauriel knew she had been spotted when her friend’s eyes went wide.

“He’s coming over isn’t he?” Fucking hell. This night was going from bad to worse.

“Just stay relaxed and don’t hurt anyone. We’re still here and can drag you away if you need us to.” Tauriel closed her eyes as she continued to dance and tried to calm herself down. Maybe coming out tonight was a bad idea. Maybe she should have just stayed at home and watched a movie with Kili or something. He had just gotten out of the hospital after a week and she wanted to spend some real time with him and so she brought him out in public? What was she thinking? She figured she should try to keep things as normal as possible; that’s what she was thinking. The pounding music around her helped to keep her in her own mind, blocking out everyone else as she thought different scenarios and possible reactions to whatever was about to come her way and preparing herself for the worst.

“Mind if I cut in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder how Tauriel's night will end? Guess we'll have to wait and see!
> 
> Thank you again for all the kudos, comments, and for reading my fic in the first place! I really hope you're enjoying it <3


	18. A Long Night For Sure - Kili

“Arwen shut up!” Eowyn shouted as they dragged her into the crowd. And with that, Kili and Aragorn watched as the girls disappeared into the sea of people and left them behind. While he had told the truth when he said he wasn’t much for dancing, he was lying when he said he needed to rest his leg. When Oin had come to visit him in the hospital, he had secretly treated his leg with kingsfoil to help him heal faster. The crazy plant had done its job and while it wasn’t ‘fully healed’ he didn’t feel any serious pain; he just didn’t want to run into a crowd and make a fool of himself. 

“Come on,” Aragorn nudged him as he tilted his head towards the other end of the room. “Let's go chill over here.” As they made their way through the crowd of sweaty, dancing people, they were stopped multiple times. Aragorn’s friends offered him beers and asked how his break was, while Kili was hit with the inevitable barrage of questions and comments.

“Dude, you’re Kili right?”

“Whoa, aren’t you the guy who saved Tauriel’s life?”

“Does Tauriel give good head?”

“You don’t look like you could take out twenty guys.”

“Have you had sex with her yet?”

“Are you two dating now?”

“Wow. You must be _sooo_ strong!”

“How good is Tauriel in bed?”

“Bro, I heard you got stabbed. Respect.”

Most of the people approaching him were asking if they could see his stab wound, and every time Kili told them that he wasn’t drunk so he was definitely not taking his pants down, effectively disappointing everyone around him. He hoped that Tauriel hadn’t been getting questions like the ones he had been getting tonight, but deep down, he knew she probably was. His stomach gave a sickening lurch at the thought of people asking her to remove her clothing so they could see her bruises and he was thankful for the lack of booze in his system.

“Alright shitheads, give the guy some space!” Aragorn announced to the small group that had formed around them. “He just got out of the hospital today for Valar’s sake.” The people around them began to disperse but weren’t disappointed for too long once they went back to drinking.

“Thanks, man,” Kili sighed. 

“Don’t mention it,” Aragorn smiled. The two of them passed by a couple making out on the couch as they made their way over to a corner of the room with enough space for both of them to lean back and watch everyone. Kili quickly found Tauriel, her red hair and burgundy tank top easy to spot despite the rainbow of fluorescent colors flashing all over the place. He clenched his teeth when he saw some guy approach her, but relaxed when he saw Tauriel ask him to leave without any trouble.

“Alright man,” Aragon began. Kili brought his gaze to the giant brunette next to him. Why did all of Tauriel’s friends have to be so goddamn tall? “Real talk. Are you and Tauriel a thing now?”

“Nah. We’re just friends,” Kili replied, though Aragorn’s frown told him that he knew he was lying. 

“Dude, I know we just met like, an hour ago, but I’m not blind and I see the way she looks at you. Tauriel’s my friend, and as her friend, I am morally obligated to give the best friend speech if you’re dating or are planning to date her.”

“The one where you threaten to skin me alive and leave my entrails out for the vultures if I hurt her?”

“I’m glad you’re familiar with it,” he grinned before taking a sip of his beer. “Unlike everyone else here, I already know about everything that happened before your rescue mission. Arwen gave me the whole rundown of your little fight at the coffee shop.”

“Shit,” Kili swore under his breath. So Aragorn not only knew that he had left her alone, but he knew exactly what she went through while he was AWOL. “Yeah… that wasn’t exactly my proudest moment. I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“Well, you made her life hell for a week that’s for sure.”

“Things are… complicated right now. I know that’s not much of an excuse, but that’s all I can really give you right now.”

“And out of respect for Tauriel, I’m not going to get into things when I tell you that she’s already had enough shit happen in her life and I for one am not going to stand by idly if you have any intention of hurting or using her.” 

Kili could appreciate Aragorn’s loyalty; a quality that his own family valued and respected amongst themselves and their comrades. However, Kili glared back suspiciously at Tauriel’s friend not because of Aragorn’s threats, but because he had let something slip that he probably shouldn’t have.

“I already know about Tauriel’s past. She told me about everything that happened to her, but how exactly do you know?” he accused. “She said she hadn’t even told Arwen anything, and no offense but judging by what I’ve seen I think she ranks a bit higher on the friendship scale than you.” Kili watched as Aragorn shifted his weight, leaning just a shoulder against the wall as he stared down at Kili, his expression no longer putting up the façade of a simply concerned friend.

“I know because Legolas told me. He asked me to keep an eye on her after he graduated.”

“Gods dammit,” Kili kicked a crushed beer can in front of him into the mass of dancing feet in the center of the room. Tauriel wasn’t kidding when she said that Thranduil and Legolas were controlling. How many other people had they planted in her life to watch over her? “Are you even really her friend or are you just one of Legolas’ messenger boys?”

“You’re very defensive.”

“I don’t like Tauriel being lied to.”

“Neither do I.” 

The two stared back at each other for a moment, challenging one another to make the next move. Aragorn relaxed his shoulders and rolled back against the wall. “You’re alright, Kili,” Aragorn smiled. He nudged Kili in the arm before looking out to the crowd again and Kili relaxed. He was still skeptical but felt confident that he had passed whatever test Aragorn had just given him. He followed the tall man's gaze and began to look for the girls along with him. Kili spotted Tauriel talking to a random girl. “Despite what you may think, we really are friends and I just want to see her happy. We were already tight when Legolas asked me to keep an eye on her, make sure she was okay when he wasn’t there. She might seem tough, but it still haunts her sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

“She still has nightmares about that night.” Upon hearing that, Kili gulped down dry air as he tried not to picture her waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, gasping for air with tears in her eyes. “Arwen told me they don’t happen very much anymore, but they still pop up every once in a while. It’s good to see you’re just as protective of her as we are, and she’s a pretty good judge of character, better than most people, so you can’t be that bad.” 

“I’m guessing that means Legolas told you all about me then, right?” 

“Legolas can tell me all the shit he wants about you and your family, but I prefer to form my own opinions about people.”

“And I’m sure I’m not off to a great start by lying to you am I?”

Aragorn shook his head. “You can make up for it by telling the truth.” Thorin’s voice was echoing inside his head telling him not to trust this guy, don’t say anything to this outsider, but he pushed the voice back and told himself that if he wanted to be with Tauriel, he should look for all the allies he could, and if Tauriel trusted him, why shouldn’t he?

“The truth, huh?”

“They say it sets you free.”

“What are you, a fortune cookie?” The two of them chuckled before Aragorn finished his beer and set the empty bottle on the end table. It trembled slightly as the music continued to vibrate the very walls of the house. “Yeah, we’re dating, or at least we’re gonna try to. I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea about her if they knew we were together.”

“And what idea’s that?”

“You heard what everyone was asking me,” Kili sighed. “They’re just gonna think that she’s interested in me because I saved her and that I only saved her to fuck her, or that she’s easy, or has Stockholm syndrome or something.”

“That’s not what Stockholm syndrome is.”

“You know what I mean. Tauriel’s got it good right now and I just don’t want her reputation to be ruined because of me.”

“Tauriel has never given a shit about what other people think of her. You know she actually cut ties with a couple people because they didn’t like that you two were spending time together?”

“Are you shitting me? Why would she do that?”

“Because she didn’t give a fuck about them. It’s not like they were the greatest of people anyway. If she actually cared about what people thought of her choices, she would still be under Thranduil’s thumb, and I think we both know how she feels about him. 

“The way I see it, you’ve got two options: One, stake your claim on the girl you have feelings for and deal with the backlash for a few weeks tops until you prove everyone wrong, not that you have anything to prove in the first place; or two, keep your relationship in the dark and keep letting that shit happen.” 

Kili looked over to where Aragorn was pointing and found that another guy was putting his hands all over Tauriel. This time she had to physically push him off of her and Kili felt an all too familiar anger creep up his spine. “Just so we’re clear, you don’t mind me dating Tauriel?”

“I don’t think my opinion really matters. She’s probably going to go out with you whether I approve or not, but so long as we’re on the same page about making sure she’s happy and safe, you’re in the clear.” 

Kili looked around more and spotted Feanor who had his eyes on Tauriel and was plotting to make his way over to her. Oh, fuck no.“So you won’t mind if I abandon this conversation to go find her?”

“Only if you don’t mind me following behind to find Arwen.” They grinned at each other as they pushed themselves off of the wall and into the crowd. The space was dense with sweaty people and Kili quickly brought his hand down over his injury to protect it from anybody’s knees that might dig into it by mistake. He finally spotted her next to her friends; eyes closed in frustration as if she was trying to shut the world out or prepare herself for something she didn’t want.

“Mind if I cut in?” he asked. Her eyes flew open, not expecting him to be in front of her and the biggest smile he had ever seen on her bloomed across her face.

“Yes please!” She reached out and grabbed onto his hoodie, yanking him into her as she placed his hands on her hips and tangled her arms over his shoulders. Her white shorts glowed under his fingertips from the black lights and he held her close as they began to move together with the beat of the music. He looked over her shoulder and saw Feanor watching the two of them, debating whether or not he should still head for Tauriel, but a quick scowl from Kili had him sinking back into the crowd.

“So what happened to the whole resting your leg thing?” she asked with a slight slur.

“Okay so maybe that was an excuse not to come out here, but I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t much of a dancer.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” She rolled her hips into his grip and bit her lip. He smirked at her and pulled her body against his as he began to chant in his head that he needed to keep his cool. She looked so beautiful right now with her hair wildly tossed around and her wide eyes looking into his. Maybe dancing in a huge crowd of people forcing them closer together wasn’t so bad after all. “What made you change your mind?”

“A guy can only watch other people creep on his girlfriend of so long.”

“You saw Feanor too?”

“He walked away as soon as I met up with you and looked at him.”

“He walked away after you just looked at him?” she asked in disbelief.

“Oh yeah. The ‘Durin Death Glare’ is something that I’ve perfected over the years,” he grinned. “And I’m not planning on leaving you out here by yourself anytime soon by the way. Fending off gangsters is one thing, but fending off horny, drunk, jackasses might be a challenge for both of us.”

“So does this mean we’re not keeping us a secret anymore?” 

“Not if you don’t want to,” he laughed upon hearing the hope in her voice. In that moment he could see in her smile just how much it meant to her that she didn’t have to hide. He knew that the next few weeks were going to be full of judgmental stares and unwanted questions and comments, but that didn’t matter to either of them right now. He knew that she wanted people to know that she cared about him and she did it the best way she knew how: by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a bruising kiss. He ignored gasps and hushed gossip mixing with the music around him as he focused on her lips moving against his, her tongue rolling around his mouth, and the small sighs drifting from her throat and into his. He felt her shift her weight onto him and he snaked his arms up from her waist to her back to keep her balanced. He could taste the slightest hint of alcohol on her lips and smell it on her breath as she pulled away for air, her face flushed from more than just the kiss.

“You’ve had more to drink since we got here,” he noticed.

“I _miiight_ have stolen some girl’s tequila,” she admitted without guilt. Yeah, she was definitely drunk now.

“Why did you steal someone’s tequila?”

“She said you were short,” she pouted. 

“Tauriel,” he leaned in as if he were telling a secret. “I am short.”

“She meant it in a mean wayy! She made me mad so I took her drink and made _her_ mad.”

“And you let that get to you?” he chuckled. She was so pouty when she was drunk. “I’m disappointed. And here I thought you didn’t care what people think.”

“I don’t care what people think about me, but they aren’t allowed to be mean to you!” Kili laughed again but decided against stealing her line and saying he could take care of himself. His pride wouldn’t be hurt that much from hearing what he had been told his whole life.

“How drunk are you right now?”

“Not as drunk as I wanna be, but who knows,” she pressed her forehead against his and licked her lips. “The night is still young.”

~

After dropping off Arwen at Aragorn’s place and making sure that Eowyn was able to make it home with some guy named Faramir, Kili helped bring Tauriel back up to her apartment. He’d kept his eye on her as best as he could while they were still at the party, but he caught her sneaking a few extra drinks when she thought he wasn’t looking. As he unlocked her front door, he could tell she was trying to play it off like she was fine, but instead was struggling not to stumble around as she made her way over to the couch to sit down and take off her shoes.

“Thank you _soooo_ much for driving tonight Kili,” she said as she kicked her shoes aside. “I know you didn’t really want to come out tonight.”

“Hey, if I didn’t come along, who else would have taken care of your drunk ass tonight?”

“Hey! I am not drunk!” she snapped as she pointed at him, her arm swaying like a limp noodle. Kili raised an eyebrow to her and she retracted in defeat. “Okay maybe I went a little overboard, but I don’t normally get like this so no judging Mr. Judger.”

“Then why did you drink so much tonight?”

“Because I was so fucking tired of people bothering me this week,” she moaned as she flopped sideways on the couch. “Everyone was just sooo annoying and wouldn’t leave me alone! All week people were coming up to me like ‘Oh hey, I hear you got assaulted over break’ and ‘Oh hey I heard Kili saved your life’ and ‘Oh hey, I heard a rumor that you’re a fucking ninja’. Like, who said it was okay to come up to me while I’m fucking eating lunch and ask me personal questions, huh? It’s like no one’s ever heard of personal space!

“And that one girl- ugh! That one girl at the party who called you short was so infuri… inf… infu… she pissed me off! I just wanted to get drunk, have some fun, and forget about all of them, and all this madness with our families for just a few hours.”

“I have a feeling you're going to forget a lot about tonight too,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What’d ya say?”

“I said that what happened this week is just going to happen again now that everyone knows about us.”

“Yeah, but this time we get to go through it together. I don’t have to do it by myself.” Kili laughed at her ridiculous grin as he looked down at his phone. 1:43 am. Fili said he wasn’t going to need the car till at least 11:00 am so he didn’t need to drive it back till tomorrow, which was good because it looked like Tauriel might need some help tonight.

“Alright, Tauriel,” he said as he made his way over to her. He gently grabbed both of her hands and attempted to pull her to her feet. “Let’s go. Stand up.”

“ _Nooooo!_ ” she moaned. “Don’t make me _moove_! I wanna stay _heere_!”

“Come on. Get up,” he pressed, but she continued to resist him as she started giggling and trying to pull him down with her. “Stand up, please?”

“Fine. Only cause you asked nicely.” She pulled herself up to stand, and then surprised him by throwing her arms around him and planting her lips on his. The kiss was sloppy compared to their past encounters, but he returned her affections by circling his arms around her waist and doing his best not to have them fall back onto the end table. The world shut down around him whenever she kissed him and he loved it all; the softness of her lips, the warmth of her chest against his, the feel of her hands on his body, although her actions were slightly less controlled at the moment.

“You’re _reeally_ good at kissing,” she hummed just above his lips. “Who taught you to kiss like that?”

“Do you really want to know the answer to that question?”

“Good call,” she smirked as she poked him in the chest and leaned back slightly. He chuckled as he watched her move her eyes, up and down his body, her head bobbing and swaying along. “Fuck, you’re sexy.”

“And you’re drunk."

“Aww, that’s no fair. I gave you a compliment. Where’s my poetry?” she whimpered. 

“Wouldn’t you rather hear what I have to say about you when you’re not hammered and can remember everything?”

“Okay, so I’mm ‘toxicated. Sue me.”

“Isn’t that your job?”

“Not tonight it’s not.”

“Oh? What is your job tonight?”

“This.” She kissed him again and Kili found that her hands were no longer stationary. They felt like fire moving down his chest, around his waist, under his shirt, up his back…

“You’re really affectionate when you’re drunk aren’t you?” he gasped for air as he pulled away. He certainly didn’t mind this side of her, far from it, but he reminded himself that he needed to stay under control. He was here to take care of her, to make sure she was safe and nothing more. He tried to step back in an attempt to slow her, and himself, down, but she followed his movements.

“That a problem?”

“It will be in the morning when you feel like you’re dying from a hangover.” He pulled her hands out from behind him and started leading her away. “Come with me.”

“Ooh, I like it when you take control,” she smiled with her bottom lip between her teeth. Kili let out a deep breath as he walked around her couch. This was not going to be an easy night. Maybe it would be best if he left after he got her into bed so nothing happened. Would she be mad at him though? If he stuck around he could make sure she was okay in the morning, but what if she got up later in the night and came after him? What if they did something they would both regret? Stay or leave? That question would have to remain unanswered for now. He needed to put her to bed as quickly as possible because she was far too tempting to him at the moment. He stopped and tried to pull her into a chair by the breakfast bar, but she intentionally stumbled past him and tried to bring him with her as she continued down the hallway.

“Kili,” she singsonged as she tugged on his arm. “My bedroom is this way.”

“Yes, but the kitchen is this way.” He carefully pulled her back and maneuvered her towards the chair again. “Sit down while I get you some water to drink.”

“You’re a drink of water,” she laughed as she fell into the chair with a thud. He wasn’t sure if she was flirting with him or trying to insult him, but judging by the smile on her face and in her eyes, it was safe to say both. Kili found a clean glass after a few seconds of searching and fill it from the tap before setting it on the counter in front of Tauriel.

“Drink,” he ordered her. She frowned but took the water and began to take small sips until she was finished. He took the glass from her and filled it up again. “Come on you’re not done yet.”

“I don’t want anymore,” she complained. “I’ve been drinking all night.”

“Exactly, so you should be having as much water as you can right now so you don’t feel like you’ve been hit by a train in the morning.”

“But I’m not thirsty for water,” she mused. Kili didn’t move when she started to get up and lean towards him over the bar. He remained stone-faced, not wanting to give her any indication that he was affected by her words, but when she didn’t move in to kiss him again, he found he had started leaning in after her as she pulled away. 

He watched her as she slipped out of the chair and slowly made her way around the counter, her eyes lingering on him with a soft and sly smile to match. She began to saunter past him down the hall, slowing her pace just enough so Kili could watch her long legs drift past. His throat became dry, his mind failed to prevent the thoughts of her wrapping those legs around him in some fashion or another, and his entire body grew stiff before he woke from his trance and he realized that she disappeared from his sights behind the wall. He shook his head, trying to clear her from his mind and focus. Drunk or not, she knew exactly what she was doing, and she knew it was torturing him. He should just stay right there and let her go to her room. She’d pass out eventually and then he could get out of there before she did anything else to short-circuit him. Yes, following her right now would be a bad idea.

“Tauriel wait,” he called out, chasing after her against his better judgment. He had to make sure she didn’t hurt herself. What if she tripped and hit her head on a nightstand? Or suddenly became violently ill? It would be cruel and inhuman for him not to follow her. 

He saw a light flick on in a room a few feet away and he let himself in, only to find Tauriel standing before him in the center of what he gathered was her room. Now though, now her shirt was hanging off the edge of her bed and she was standing in her shorts and a strapless black bra. Her pale, freckled skin was bare to him and he had forgotten what he was about to say. He stood in the doorway, not wanting to step any further in from the fear that he couldn’t trust himself if he did.

“Kili,” she sang again. “Why are you just standing there when I’m all the way over here?”

“Okay, that’s it. We need to get you to bed,” he said. He shook his head to clear his mind, but the haze remained and she snickered.

“That’s the idea,” she sighed, licking her lips and Kili quickly regretted his choice of words.

“Tauriel…” He took a deep breath and held it for a moment. “I know what you're doing, and you really, really shouldn’t be. I’m just trying to make sure you don’t hurt yourself or get sick before I leave.”

“You’ve been taking care of me _allll_ night,” she smiled as she walked over to him. “I think you’ve earned a break, don’t you?” His eyes fell to her breasts, hypnotizing him as they came dangerously close to him. He could practically feel his willpower melting down to the floor as she stopped before him, his resolve weakening and mouth growing dry. She was so close now that he could count the freckles on her chest and his skin grew hot, but removing his hoodie to alleviate that heat would only make his problems worse. She took his hand and pulled, his weak resistance doing nothing as she tugged him further into her room. Kili frantically tried to think of something else other than the goddess before him. The walls of her room were light blue. Her carpeted floor was clear of any mess apart from her backpack and books that rested at the foot of her bed. The sheets of her bed were white. They were now standing right next to her bed. She tried to pull him to sit down on it, but he locked his knees and kept himself standing; he could at least do that. 

She pouted. “Oh don’t be like that. Let me take care of you now.”

“Tauriel… could you…” he swallowed painfully and reached down to grab her red top. “Please, just put your shirt back on.”

“Oh?” she took it from his hands and looked for the proper point of entry. “Did you wanna take it off instead? I don’t mind.” She smiled as she pulled the garment over her head, her arm getting caught only once on the strap. Kili didn’t say anything in response and felt some of his strength return once she covered her chest again.

“This is a bad idea Tauriel,” he warned.

“Is it?” She leaned against his chest and Kili didn't think she could get any closer right now. 

“Yes. You’re not thinking straight… you’re drunk right now. You don’t want to do things this way.”

“Oh, but I do want to, Kili,” she whispered in his ear. Her hot breath washed over his skin making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and a shiver run down his spine straight to his crotch. “I want you _sooo_ much right now.”

“Tauriel please…” he begged. He forced himself to put an arm's length distance between them as he placed his hands along the sides of her ribcage and held her in place to keep her from swaying and falling over. “I have a laundry list of faults, but having sex with girls who are too drunk to say ‘no’ is not one of them.”

“What if I don’t want to say no?” she mumbled, voice breathy and lustful, as she latched onto his shirt and pulled herself to him. “What if I’ve wanted to be with you just as long as you’ve wanted to be with me? Maybe I’ve had fantasies while sitting in class about what it would be like to be with you… To hold you in my arms as you whisper things in my ear… To run my fingers through your long, dark hair as you lie on top of me in this very bed… naked.” Kili was completely unable to move, and certain that the slightest breeze could knock him over as he listened to her sweet confession pouring past her lips like honey into his brain. His body began to naturally lean into her and his clothing was becoming increasingly uncomfortable, particularly his pants. He wanted her so fucking bad right now that it hurt.

“You’ve thought about that?” he asked, no longer capable of hiding his smile. Kili could swear he felt his pride swelling inside of him, or was it his heart, or maybe something lower.

She bit her lip as her lids drooped and she hummed in response. “I think about it all the time, Kili.” 

How was he supposed to respond to that? He couldn’t deny that he had thought the same things about her, but he knew couldn’t throw himself at her right now either. “Listen, I—"

“—Maybe,” she cut him off as her hand drifted into his hair, “just maybe, I’ve wanted to be with you before I even met you,” she kissed a line down the edge of his jaw before hovering her lips above his and looking straight into his eyes. Her pupils were full-blown, circles of black with thin rims of green and hazel surrounding them. “Before I even knew your name.” He swallowed down a dry gulp of air as her words left him stunned and spellbound. “Kili…”

He closed his eyes when she finally brought her lips to his and Kili felt like he was breathing in a whole new way. It felt like she was stealing his breath straight from his chest and at the same time giving him fresh air while lighting it on fire. Every time she kissed him he felt like they were being given a gift from Mahal, as if they had been destined to share a thousand kisses in their past but had somehow been robbed of them and now, only now they could finally taste the sweetness of each other’s lips and feel the warmth of each other’s embrace. 

She curled her fingers and gripped the hair at the back of his head. He rolled his thumbs along her sides as he pulled her closer, feeling her breast press into his chest as their hearts beat wildly out of control beneath their skin together. Her arm reaches up to wrap around his neck again, but it slumped and fell off his shoulder to her side carelessly before moving to try again. An alarm went off in his head, suddenly reminding him why he needed to stop. He used whatever willpower he had locked inside of him to pull himself away from her, finding it difficult to do as her mouth attempted to stay connected to his no matter how far away he pushed her body. 

“Tauriel, wait…” He was panting now, and so was she. She finally pulled back and looked at him, waiting to hear what he had to say. “I know that this might be what you want right now, and believe me, so do I... but you will thank me in the morning for not going through with this.”

“You will thank me tonight,” she said practically clawing at the shoulders of his hoodie in an attempt to pull it off, but her sloppy hands and Kili’s resolve kept her fingers a bay.

“You are… really making this hard for me Tauriel,” he gasped, voice straining with the effort to speak clearly. 

“Hmm, I’m sure that’s not the only thing that’s hard,” she suggested as she reached down and cupped the bulge in his pants. 

Kili grunted at the sudden contact, but it was the jolt he needed to finally push her off so they stood apart. “Fuck Tauriel! What is this? Some sort of sick test of my willpower? ” He sucked in all the air he could that didn’t taste like her in an attempt to sober himself up. It felt as though he was fighting against the universe pushing away from her, fighting against gravity. “If it is, you’re really not being fair.”

“What’s wrong?” she purred. “Don’t you want me too?” She reached for him again, only this time he stopped her, holding her by her wrists so her hands hovered between them.

“Tauriel.” His voice was firm but felt like sandpaper in his mouth. “I can’t… I can’t sleep with you tonight. I’m trying to do right by you so you don’t do something that you might regret and I don’t think either of us wants our first time to be like this. I’m sorry.” 

Tauriel looked back at him baffled for a moment, and then gave him an angry pout before yanking her arms away from him. “I can’t believe you!” she huffed as she turned her back and stomped over to the other side of her bed. “You go on and on for weeks about how beautiful I am and how much you wanna be with me, I finally give you the chance and you can’t back it up?” Kili blinked at her sudden change in mood with his mouth open. The dizzying haze in his mind was slowly beginning to clear.

“Wait a second, are… are we fighting now?”

“Yes we are!” she decreed as she plopped herself onto her bed and crossed her arms. “So whatever you had planned with me you can just forget it!” 

Whatever he had planned? Was she serious? No, he remembered, just incredibly drunk and horny.“Uh, alright then? I guess I’ll go get you that water and…”

“Don’t bother. I’m going to sleep.” 

Kili watched in amusement as Tauriel crawled towards the head of her bed and struggled to find the end of her neatly folded sheets. Her hair was falling all over the place, blocking her vision and causing her to fumble around. She glared at him when he let a small chuckle slip, and then he laughed again when she huffed and the puff of air that came out of her mouth forced the hair in her face to fly up.

“Okay then… If you don’t need anything else, I’ll be on the couch.” Kili turned around and hit the light switch after she rolled over under the covers with her back to him and shut the door behind him. “Holy fuck,” he gasped out, still panting from his high. He had not expected that out of her. In practically any other situation he would have welcomed this behavior, but he wasn’t about to take advantage of her, especially if she might regret it in the morning. She may have wanted to be with him more than anything in that moment and Mahal knows he wanted it too, but even more so he didn’t want to start his relationship with her off like that. Legolas, Thranduil, and now Aragorn would probably kill him if he did, not to mention his own mother.

Kili looked around the empty apartment. A few of the glasses that Tauriel and her friends had used to drink before were left in the sink while the rest were scattered around with their half-empty handles of alcohol. He should probably clean up a little bit before he goes to bed.

“First things first though,” he looked down to himself finding his pants now extremely uncomfortable. “Gotta take care of this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn. So close but it doesn't look like anything's happening tonight. This is a real slow burn for sure, but someone's gonna give eventually.


	19. Army of One - Fili

Fili paced around his uncle’s office, waiting for Thorin to come back from his meeting with the other clan leaders. He was early, and waiting around in an office that Thorin consistently reminded him would be his one day didn’t make him any less anxious or impatient. Thorin had kept his distance and had the two brothers alone for the last week, giving Kili a chance to heal and Fili a chance to try and smooth things over with Sigrid while the rest of Erebor worked on figuring out the whole situation with Azog.

Kili had recovered quickly enough thanks to Oin and his stash of kingsfoil, one of the only products that even a large percent of the company didn’t know about in order to keep it safe. Considering Kili was able to go out and party last night and come home this morning without any problems, it was safe to say the rare plant did its job and he would be fine. 

Fili had asked him how things had gone with everyone last night and his only response was: “Let's just say I’ll be watching how much Tauriel drinks more carefully from now on.” While his curiosity was gnawing at the back of his mind, he decided not to press when he had more important things to worry about.

Sigrid’s family seemed to be handling things well enough. Insurance was able to cover most of the damages to the coffee shop, and though some “anonymous” donations, everything was already up and running again. Much to Fili’s surprise, Bard didn’t seem to have much of a problem with Sigrid dating the heir of the Durin family, at least from a professional perspective. He knew that Fili would not only be able to provide and protect his daughter now that she was in more danger than before, but also give her everything he couldn’t. How Bard saw Fili as a person was still yet to be determined. 

Bain saw him as a super spy, but fortunately still grasped the fact that talking about his life and what had happened at the shop would only risk repeating events. Tilda, on the other hand, saw him as a fairytale prince and was having a more difficult time separating fantasy and reality compared to her sister. She had been completely terrified during the attack and wasn’t sleeping too well, but after Bard had explained everything to her, including how she couldn’t tell anyone about what happened, Fili became a knight in shining armor that she wanted to spend all of her time with whenever he went over to see Sigrid. He was beginning to think that she was just biding her time to try and steal him away herself.

Fili and Sigrid had decided that it was a good idea to try and take things slow. All of the madness around them had pushed them together in ways that they hadn’t expected and they didn’t want to move too fast with anything no matter how natural it felt. The problem was that everything felt natural to them; their time together, their conversations, the way they touched each other, the way they kissed, everything just felt right. 

Fili looked out the wall of glass at the back of Thorin’s office and gazed out to the skyline of the city, trying to remember if he had ever felt this way about anyone he had dated in the past and couldn’t think of a single person. He had been in relationships with people who put his stomach in knots and made his knees weak, but none of them could quite make him smile so big or make his heart stop the way that Sigrid did. He had fallen for her so fast that he hadn’t even realized that she was so important to him until it was too late. She had brought something into his life that he couldn’t quite pin down yet and he would be damned if she was taken away from him by anyone. 

And so that left him with Azog to deal with. As far as he knew right now, Sigrid wasn’t on his radar. Everything that had happened so far had been Smaug’s personal vendetta against the Bowmans, nothing more, and Fili wanted to keep it that way.

The office door opened and Fili watched as Thorin’s personal assistant, Bilbo, walked inside with his uncle. Bilbo was technically Thorin’s second assistant, but Balin was starting to get old and someone was going to have to take his place soon if he had any intention of retiring. Most of the time, all three men were seen together followed closely by Dwalin, Thorin’s personal bodyguard, but Fili gathered that Balin was taking care of Dain at the moment.

“Ah, Fili, you’re here already. Good.” Thorin greeted casually. 

“Uncle Thorin,” Fili bowed.

“Hello Fili,” Bilbo smiled. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Good to see you, too, Bilbo. How’s your nephew doing?”

“Staying out of trouble for now. Not sure how long it’s going to last with him going off to college next year.”

“I have no doubt he’ll be just fine. He’s got a lot of you in him.”

“Yes, but that’s exactly what worries me.”

“Gentlemen,” Thorin interrupted as he sat down in his leather chair. “I hate to cut your conversation short but we have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment.” Nodding to each other, Bilbo made his way over to Thorin’s side while Fili stood opposite to them on the other side of his uncle’s desk. 

“How did things go with Dain?” Fili asked.

“He’s not pleased by the sudden activity,” Thorin grumbled. “And is rather irritated that he must hide again.”

“It’s not our fault that we got attacked!”

“Which I explained. For some reason, something has changed for Azog and his motives are becoming personal again. Maybe something has backed him into a corner or maybe he’s found a weakness, but he’s coming after the three of us once again. Regardless, all of the Durin branch leaders have been warned and their families are going to act accordingly. That means that as heirs to the main branch, you and Kili are going to have to step up and be examples; that means no more running around the city like you two own it. This is war.”

“Wouldn’t that be a bad idea?” Fili suggested.

“How so?”

“Come on this is Kili we’re talking about. You ask him to sit quietly in a corner and he’ll find a tree to climb.”

“Your brother is a reckless bastard who needs a leash," Thorin scoffed. "He evaded Nori and Dori for and hour yesterday and then he tells them that he’s going to a party after just getting out of the hospital. He is careless and needs to learn responsibility." Fili rolled his eyes having heard this speech from him a million times before. Thorin was overprotective of his younger nephew and overcritical of the older. After all these years they had both grown realized that this was how he showed love, but that didn’t make things any less bothersome. He then added, “He runs wild and gets into far too much trouble. Especially now that he’s with that Greenleaf girl.” 

“You do know that she’s not actually a Greenleaf right?”

“She was still raised by one,” Thorin growled. “Blood or not, she was still taught to hate Durins and she will bring nothing but trouble for us all. I thought I helped raise Kili better than that.”

“Were you in the same room as me last week?” Fili asked. “Because from what I saw, she pretty much despises Thranduil just as much, if not more that we do, and you can’t tell me that you weren’t a little thrilled to see her put a knife to his throat.” 

“Who is this girl you are talking about?” Bilbo asked horrified. 

A light tapping on the door interrupted their conversation and everyone looked at each other in confusion. They weren’t expecting anybody else to come to this meeting. As the door clicked open, a tall man in a gray suit entered with the help of a long wooden cane. A sweet, yet somehow also smug smile was on his lips and his long gray beard was unmistakable.

“Oh dear,” he spoke in an old, gravely voice as he twiddled with the glasses on his nose. “I do hope I’m not intruding.”

“Dean Gandalf,” Fili welcomed with a smile. Gandalf has been a close friend of the Durin family for generations and had been more than helpful not only getting Fili and Kili into college but also keeping them safe.

“Fili, my boy! What a pleasant surprise. It’s been some time.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, I heard about your brother!” Gandalf slowly crossed the room and gave Fili a strong pat on his shoulder. “I had received word that he had been injured and I came to inquire as to how he was doing, as well as visit some old friends of mine.”

“H-How did you get past Dwalin?” Bilbo asked.

“Oh please my dear Bilbo, you must give an old man some credit. I’ve been around far longer than you have and you might be a sneaky fellow, but I’ve got more than a few tricks up my sleeve,” he winked. “I also came to see if Thorin required any assistance.”

“With what, Tharkûn?” Thorin challenged, surprising everyone by using Gandalf’s Khuzdul name rather than his common tongue one. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my own family and running my own company.”

“I agree. You were, after all, the one who brought this company back from near bankruptcy after your father and his father made terribly risky business decisions, but let’s not forget that you did not do it on your own and it is unwise to ignore advice in times of need.” 

Fili watched the exchange between his uncle and former schoolmaster. It was rare for Thorin to listen to anyone other than Bilbo and his sister; he didn’t even listen to his own nephews very often, but Gandalf was one of the few exceptions. Although he had been rather young at the time, Gandalf had been around since Fili’s great-grandfather Thror was the Head of the Family and so he had seen generations of Durin success, and failure. Thorin leaned back in his chair, frustrated but unable to deny his old friend’s claims.

“I’m listening.”

“Well before you listen I need to know the facts.” Gandalf carefully sat himself down in the chair next to where Fili stood. “All that I have been told is that Azog has made a direct attack on your nephew’s lives and we all know that this is not his MO. Do we know if anything has set him off as of late? Any deals? Interactions?”

“I ran into Smaug at the Bowman’s coffee shop,” Fili suggested. “It might have tipped him off that Thorin and Bard were still talking.”

“If Smaug was physically at the shop he knew already,” Thorin spoke up. “He wouldn’t have wasted his time otherwise. You’re being there barely supported what he was already certain of.”

“And simply seeing you in town is not a significant enough event to trigger Azog and target you personally after all these years, even if it was with the Bowmans,” Gandalf concluded. 

“Perhaps he’s simply become bored.” Everyone turned to look to Bilbo who became embarrassed by the sudden attention.

“What makes you say that Bilbo my boy?” Gandalf scratched at his beard while everyone waited for Bilbo to speak.

“W-Well, five years is quite a long time don’t you think? Imagine how it must feel for someone as impulsive and psychotic as Azog. He hasn’t been active for more than a few months now and because of that, we’ve all felt safer than normal. He’s had his fun and now is going for the kill. A cat will only play with a dead mouse for so long after all. And now that Fili and Kili are both in relationships—”

Gandalf smiled at Fili. “Are they now? Congratulations!” The young heir suddenly felt the room go hot. Dammit, how the hell did Bilbo even know about this? Thorin hasn’t spoken to Fili or Kili in three months and while it was understandable that he knew about Kili and Tauriel, he had only seen Sigrid for the first time last week. Has Thorin been watching him or had Bard been telling him about more than just Azog’s men? “Well, that could be it then!”

“What does my relationship status have to do with anything?” Fili sputtered.

“You and your brother each have someone important to you now. Thorin has always been accounted for in that regard since you and Kili are his heirs; practically his sons. Now that each of you has someone you hold dear, Azog sees this as the perfect opportunity to take action and hurt you all in the worst possible ways.”

“But it’s not like either of us have been single for the last five years, we’ve had girlfriends before. Why now?”

“Then they must be very important to you both,” Gandalf smiled knowingly. Fili remembered how headstrong Kili had been about spending time with Tauriel and how not even ten minutes ago, he himself had just been lost in thought about Sigrid and how significant of an impact she had in his life.

“His reasons matter little to me,” Thorin interjected. “I don’t care why he is acting, only that he is and as Head of the Durin families, it is my duty to protect everyone. We must retaliate; find Azog and finish him off for good.”

“And that, my friend, is exactly what Azog wants from you,” Gandalf warned. “If you fight back and begin tearing apart the city looking for him, he will have played you like a harp. This situation is one that requires tact. Don’t play his game and let him take you for fools.”

“Then what will you have me do oh Wise One?” Thorin shouted, standing to his feet. “Make no mistake, I am grateful for all that you have done for my family to keep them safe, but I will not run from this monster any longer!”

“Agreed,” Fili supported. This war has been going on long enough, and it was time that they fought back. “I will not live my life glancing over my shoulders and allow to Azog think us to be cowards.” 

“Do not mistake patience for cowardice, young man. I am not telling you to run, nor have I ever asked you to,” Gandalf assured. “If anything I’d advise against it.”

“Why?” Thorin bit before sitting back down.

“Pulling back, running or hiding will be too suspicious. He will think that you are onto him and that may cause him to strike sooner than he initially intends. If you have any intention of getting rid of Azog for good, you must keep his attention. Disappearing now will only serve to aggravate him further like a child throwing a tantrum and more bodies will begin to pile up in order to draw you out again. It is for that same reason we cannot be charging in like animals. Once too many people are hurt, this city will be in a state of emergency and the police will get involved and I’m certain you don’t want that.”

“Too late,” Fili huffed causing Gandalf to look at him perplexed. “Kili is dating Thranduil’s daughter.”

“Tauriel?” The old man’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but then shifted to approval. “Ah yes, I remember her face. Smart girl, that she is. This certainly complicates things doesn’t it?”

“I’m sorry,” Bilbo apologized. “But I’m still confused as to what exactly the plan is. We can’t go charging in and finish off Azog, but also can’t hide from him any longer. Is there even really a plan? Are you suggesting we do nothing?” 

“Good heavens no,” Gandalf gasped. “The neutral path isn’t always doing nothing, it is simply maintaining the status quo. Keep your ears to the ground so that you may be prepared for what is to come, but take no action. Look to your allies and your network of spies to help you. Azog will slip up eventually it is in that moment that we strike.”

“You expect us to sit around and wait?” Thorin argued. “Pretend like nothing has happened? My nephews could have been killed!”

“And you have obviously trained them well enough because they are both still alive.”

“We are Durins and Durins always fight back!”

“And what is it you plan to fight, Thorin?” Gandalf boomed. He stood up without using his cane and Fili could have sworn that the lights in the room flickered and the very earth beneath them shook. “Do you know what Azog has planned? How many men has he lined up for you? For all you know, you and your family could be facing an army! Until you know what exactly you are up against, you cannot take that risk!” 

The room fell silent as Gandalf sank back into his chair along with his words. Fili’s stomach was in knots and his mind raced to think of another solution, some sort of alternative to sitting like a duck. This plan to restrain himself and wait fought against every instinct inside of Fili’s body, but it wasn’t just _his_ life he was risking anymore, he was risking Sigrid’s too. For the past five years he never had to watch anyone else’s back but Kili’s, but now he couldn’t just go charging into fights like he used to without consequence, not if he really wanted to protect her. 

“Dean Gandalf is right,” Fili finally said. “Obviously our methods of retaliation have not been working so far. It might be time to change tactics.”

“I cannot believe what I am hearing,” Thorin grunted. “You have grown soft. It’s that Bowman girl you fancy that has twisted your thoughts.”

“Bowman, eh?” Gandalf questioned as he scratch at his chin. “Yes, yes I do seem to recall a young Bowman girl attending the University not too long ago. Sigrid was it?”

“What does her name matter?” Thorin scoffed. “What does she matter to this war at all?”

“Of course she matters!” Fili defended. “She’s a target because of her father’s involvement with Smaug and if she’s the reason Azog is making his move, then she’s in a lot of danger!”

“Azog is after your life, your brother's life, my life, and this entire families lively hood and you’re worried about a girl from a coffee shop?” 

“She was almost killed, Thorin! Her father is one of our allies! One of your friends! Are you not concerned at all about protecting them?”

“I offered my protection and Bard rejected it. It’s his own damn fault if he or his family get killed because of his pride.” 

Fili couldn’t believe the sheer hypocrisy hearing. His uncle really didn’t care about them. He had sounded so concerned when he was apologizing to Sigrid last week, but now that she and her father weren’t in immediate danger and Bard’s usefulness as a source was compromised, it was as if they didn’t exist anymore.

“And what of your own pride?" Fili stated with his feet planted like thick, unwavering tree roots. "Will that not be the death of you as well? The players of the game have changed, Uncle; things are different now. You need to offer to help them again.”

“We did help them. We got their shop back up and running in less than a week so they could get back to their normal lives.”

“That’s not enough!”

“Do you have any idea how many foot-soldiers I have wandering this city? How many sources I have feeding me information? If I gave each of them full protection from Azog we wouldn’t have enough people to protect ourselves! Hell, we would be the ones out protecting them! We have our own lives to protect, our own blood, and there is no reason for us to be mixed up with outsiders. Bard can go to Thranduil if he no longer feels safe.”

“Thranduil!” Fili roared as be began to see red. He slammed his hands on the desk in front of him with a bang, causing the drawers to rumble and the pens inside of a ceramic cup to jingle. Fili scowled and leaned mere inches away from his uncle’s unflinching face. “You want them to go to that pompous son of a bitch?”

“Why not?” Thorin asked nonchalantly. “He’s always going on about how he is here to keep the people of ‘his’ city safe and protected, this is his opportunity to prove it.” 

“Erebor can protect them better than some damn police force! We can’t just abandon them now!”

“They are not my concern, Fili.”

“But they are mine!” 

A hush fell over the room at Fili’s declaration. Disagreeing with the Head of the Family was one thing, but arguing with him at length is another. Bilbo had his back pressed flat against the bookcase in terrified silence while Dean Gandalf played with the end of his beard as he watched the exchange in fascination. Thorin’s hard expression didn’t change, still fixated with a natural scowl of contempt, but Fili knew that his uncle was thinking, or realizing something that he hadn’t considered before; he just wasn’t sure what.

“What do you see in this girl, Fili?” he finally asked.

“What do you mean?” Fili responded skeptically. Thorin had never been interested in his romantic relationships before. Why now?

“What do you see in her?” he repeated. “You defend this girl so passionately that you obviously have found something that makes you think she would be a good fit for this company that I have yet to discover. So tell me, what is it?”

“That’s what you're worried about? How the hell should I know how well she’d fit in with the company? We’ve barely been dating a month.”

“Then you need to end things with her now.”

“Excuse me?” Fili shouted again in disbelief.

“You heard me. End it. You are the heir to the line of Durin and if you cannot think of a way that she will be an asset to the prosperity of the company or the family, you need to stop investing so much time in her.”

“You don’t know a damn thing about Sigrid!”

“I know that she is a timid college drop-out whose skills are far better suited for a hospital than a business. She does not belong among us.”

“Oin’s a healer, I don’t see you kicking him out.”

“Oin is a warrior first and a healer second. I wouldn’t hesitate to send him into battle because I know he can take care of himself.”

“The man is almost 70 years old now! Bilbo isn’t exactly a skilled fighter either!”

“Sigrid on the other hand,” Thorin continued as if not having heard his nephew, “would need constant protection and I cannot have you more concerned about watching her back than mine, or even your own. At least your brother’s sorry excuse for a girlfriend can fight.”

“You’re a selfish prick,” Fili hissed. “You hate Tauriel because she’s Thranduil’s daughter, the man you despise the most in the world after Azog, but because she’s dating Kili, you’ll let it slide and approve of their relationship. Sigrid and her family have been nothing but helpful to you for as long as you have known them, but because she is dating me you’ll do everything in your power to keep us apart! You always let Kili get away with everything!” 

“First, I never said that I approve of Tauriel in the slightest; I will be dealing with her when the time comes. Second, this is not about your brother or me. I am thinking about our family line and the future of this company, which need I remind you again, is something you will be responsible for one day! I am all for making mistakes in order to learn, but I will not let you risk this families safety for a girl who has no title, no power, no skills in combat, and can barely speak her own name without stuttering!”

“She spoke up to you,” Fili countered in a low growl, “or had you forgotten?” He didn’t miss how Bilbo’s eyes nearly burst out of his head at the very thought.

“She gained my attention and nothing more,” Thorin grumbled.

“Oh please. If she hadn’t stepped in when she did, you would have sent Thranduil through the floor to the basement.”

“She stopped him from fighting Thranduil?” Bilbo gasped.

“Quite the remarkable girl I dare say,” Gandalf mused in agreement. “Perhaps there is more to her than meets the eye.”

“Stay out of this both of you!” Thorin demanded. “This is between me and my nephew!”

“Yes,” Fili agreed. “And it’s about how you can’t seem to rely on or put your trust in anyone! Especially me!”

“I wonder how your mother would feel about your actions right now,” Thorin threatened coldly. “I’m sure she would have something to say about your actions as of late and your decisions to defy me.” 

Fili reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, opening his contacts straight to his mother’s number before sliding it on the desk presenting it to his uncle. “Go ahead,” Fili challenged, calling his uncles bluff with his own. “Call her right now and tell her everything. I fucking dare you. You won’t do it. You’re just as afraid of her as I am.” Fili watched his uncle’s knuckles turn white as he gripped the arms of his chair in frustration. Neither of them wanted to bring her into this, but Fili would rather deal with the fallout of his mother’s interrogations about Sigrid than have Thorin tear them apart. He wasn’t going to let anyone take Sigrid away from him and that included Thorin.

“You are out of line, Fili,” Thorin growled.

“I’m not just going to stand by and let you tell me that Sigrid isn’t worthy!”

“Because she is not!”

“You don’t know that! You don’t know her!” Fili huffed as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. “She has the courage to stand up to you and defy Smaug! She tries to sit down and actually solve her problems rather than running away or fighting! She actually listen’s to me! She doesn’t see me as a monster or a gangster! She’s resilient and actually gives a shit about the people she loves!”

“What she is right now is a naïve child who’s clouding your mind and your judgment! You were born to privilege and because of that, you are obligated to take care of this family before anyone else. I would have thought you understood that by now!”

“Trust me, Uncle, I do. Every decision I have ever made in my entire life has been for the sake of Mahal and this family. I have done everything you have ever asked without question because I knew that in the end, it was for the family and this company, but for the first time in my life, I’m going to do something for myself!” Fili turned his back to his uncle and began to storm out of the room.

“Where do you think you are going? Get back here Fili!” Thorin shouted. Fili didn’t even flinch as he ignored his uncle’s demands and walked out. “Fili!” After slamming the door behind him he could overhear Gandalf saying how that could have gone better, and he was right. Fili just made a huge mistake by offending Thorin. Not only would Thorin be angry with him for the next week if he was lucky, but anyone else who had to deal with him today would probably get their head bitten off. Brushing past the people walking out of the elevator, Fili punched the button for the ground floor and stewed in his own frustration.

What else was he suppose to do? Just say “Yes Sir” and never see Sigrid again? That wasn’t an option, especially if her life was at risk because of him. So what if she wasn’t what Thorin thought would be a good Durin? She is what made him feel like he could be a better Durin. Behind every man is a strong woman right? Or something like that. Sigrid wasn’t conventionally strong or brave, but she was in other ways; ways that mattered to him. She’s always been there to support him and make him feel like his cares are important too. Even though they had only been together for a short time, he just knew; she was going to be the one to make a difference in his life. She was the one that mattered out of everyone in the world.

Screw taking things slow. Right now, all he wanted to do was see her face and hold her in his arms. He wasn’t going to tell her about everything that just happened with Thorin, or maybe he would eventually but he didn’t want to upset her right now and she might actually agree with Thorin and break up with him. Would he be able to let go of her then? If she really wanted to be free of him and be done with the line of Durin, would he be able to let her go? He didn’t want to think about that right now. Before he had even realized it, he was pushing open the glass door of the company building and pushing past the people who were leaving for their lunch breaks. Fili shuffled down the busy steps out front, pulled out his phone and prepared to call her, but the moment he did, someone else was contacting him.  
He didn’t recognize the number, but people from all over the world called him all the time; Erebor was a global company after all. Fili took a deep breath to calm himself down and pressed the answer key.

“Hello. Can I help you?”

“Yes hello. Is this Fili Durin?” an older male voice asked on the other line.

“It is.”

“Oh thank goodness. I’ve been trying to get in contact with you for the last ten minutes, but my calls weren’t going through. It’s of the utmost urgency that I speak to you.”

“What can I help you with, Sir?”

“Well, actually I’m letting you know how I can help you. I am calling to inform you that we have Sigrid with us at the moment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, gods what happened to Sigrid? Will Fili get to her in time? Wonder how Tauriel is doing now?
> 
> Thank you Sno_WhiteQueen for being an excellent beta!


	20. More Questions Than Answers - Tauriel

Tauriel rolled over and did her best to cover her eyes from the burning light coming through the window of her room. This was her room, right? She cracked one eye open slowly and looked down to see that she was in her own bed and in her clothes from last night, though for some reason her shirt was inside out. Why was she…

“Kili!” she shot up off her pillow only to immediately fall back down as if her head had bounced off a brick wall. Her throat was dry and ached, while her body felt weighted and weak. Now things were beginning to come back to her. After that random girl insulted Kili, she finished off the rest of that tequila which fueled her decisions for the rest of the night. She remembered dancing with Kili, kissing him in front of everyone and then drinking a bit more, but after that, things started to get a bit fuzzy. Was there something else mixed in those drinks last night or did she really have that much? With a heavy groan, she pulled the covers off herself and walked over to her closet to change into cleaner clothes that didn’t have alcohol spilled all over them.

What the hell happened last night? Was Kili still here? Did he have to take care of her? She figured that at least now they were even in the nursing department, but taking care of someone who’s blackout drunk is different than taking care of someone who got the shit beat out of them. At least the latter is known to be complaisant. 

“Think, Tauriel, think,” she whispered to herself as she pulled a clean shirt over her head. “Remember what you did last night.” She fought against the pounding in her head and things started to clear up slightly. After they had gotten back, she had given some excuse about how she normally doesn’t drink like this, which was true; she was usually much more responsible. She had kissed him, but then he had stopped it and tried to bring her to the kitchen. Somehow they ended up in her room and… 

Oh… oh, gods. She tried to force herself on him, more than once too. He was just trying to make sure she didn’t hurt herself and she tried to jump his bones after saying no.

“Shit, shit, _shit_!” Maybe he was still here and she could apologize to him. Didn’t he say he was going to be on the couch last night? She rushed over to the door, threw it open, and nearly tripped and fell on her face as she ran into the living room of her apartment only to find Arwen sitting at the breakfast bar and smiling at her as she hugged a cup of coffee between her fingers.

“Morning Sunshine,” she chirped. “Or should I say afternoon?”

“Where’s Kili?”

“Good morning to you too Arwen,” her roommate playfully mocked. “Lovely to see you this morning. I’m so happy to see that you got home safely.”

“Is he still here?” Tauriel pressed urgently. 

“No,” she finally answered. “He left about an hour and a half ago.”

“What time is it now?”

“About noon.”

“Dammit.” Tauriel hung her head in defeat as she sat down in the same chair Kili had her in last night when he was trying to take care of her.

“He left that for you though.” Tauriel turned to see what her roommate had pointed to and saw a glass of water, some Advil, and a note. The shimmering condensation of the cup proved too tempting for her to deny and so she quickly grabbed it, popping the small pills in her mouth before gulping down every drop of water that she could. She was still thirsty, but at least her throat felt better and her headache would subside soon enough. She grabbed the note off the counter and read Kili’s surprisingly nice handwriting.

Hey Tauriel. Sorry I missed you this morning, I needed to get the car back to my brother. Arwen said I could leave this stuff in your room, but I didn’t wanna wake you by accident. Anyways, text me when you get this so I know that you’re alive, and keep drinking water. Considering how hammered you were last night, you’re gonna need it. I’ll talk to you later. 

\- Kili

“He cleaned up this place before he left too,” Arwen interrupted. Tauriel looked around and found that all of the alcohol, glasses, and general mess that they had left behind last night had been put away. She was feeling more and more guilty about her behavior as the morning continued.

“Did he… say anything about what happened last night?”

“Just that it was kind of difficult to get you to go to bed. Why? Do you not remember?”

Tauriel frowned as she went to get more water from the sink. “I remember some of it, but I think I might have screwed things up.” 

“Screwed up how? You didn’t puke on him or anything did you?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t remember throwing up at all. Oh gods, you don’t think I did do you?”

“I think he would have mentioned it to me if you were sick. What is it you’re so worried about exactly?”

“I was pretty… aggressive with him last night.” Tauriel sighed as she slumped onto the couch and pressed the cold glass to her temple; it didn’t really help, but she had to feel like she was doing something.

“There’s a story here, and you’re gonna spill,” Arwen grinned in anticipation. She quickly followed Tauriel over and maneuvered her way to the armchair across from her. Tauriel was wondering if this is how Kili felt when she was interrogating him. “Come on Taur! You gotta give me more than that! I want details!”

“Gods I’m such an idiot,” Tauriel cursed, “and after he was being so sweet last night and…”

“How? What did he do?” Arwen continued to smile. She looked at Tauriel like it was Christmas morning and gossip was her present. “Tell me everything you remember! You seemed to be pretty cozy last night at the party. How long have you guys been official? Are you even official?”

“Is there a particular order you want me to answer those questions or are you going to let me talk? And could you quiet down a bit? My head still hurts.”

“Sorry! Go on.”

“Well we just became public last night I guess, but we’ve only been going out for a week and he’s been in the hospital most of the time,” she frowned. “He wanted to keep things a secret because he was afraid of how his social status would affect mine.”

“Well that’s fucking stupid.”

“I told him that too, but I knew he would come around soon enough so I let it go.”

“Oddly leanent of you, but unimportant. What about last night?”

“Gods, I don’t even remember how we got here. I must have been awful to take care of.”

“I can tell you from experience that you’re really not that bad. Now skip to the parts you remember.”

“That’s just it! I don’t remember much other than practically forcing myself on him!”

“Wait!” Arwen gasped with a giant grin on her face. She looked as if she were about to explode out of the chair. “Did you guys do it last night?”

“No! It wasn’t for lack of trying though, I remember that much at least.”

“On whose part? Cause if he tried to force you to do anything…”

“Mine, Arwen. I just said that.”

“I’m sorry! You’re usually just so much more open about the guys you are with that you're practically a leaky faucet. It's like I have to pry everything out of you with a crowbar when it comes to Kili. I feel like I don’t know anything about him.”  
Tauriel thought about her past relationships and realized that usually by this point, she would have already told Arwen everything she knew about her potential boyfriend and more. They would have even placed bets on how long the relationship would actually last, but she couldn’t do any of that when it came to Kili. Not only could she not talk about him because it would put her best friend in danger, but it just didn’t feel right this time.

“Look, this is all I remember: we came back here and talked for a little bit. He tried to get me to stand up and I started kissing him, but he stopped me before we got too far. At some point, we ended up in my room and I was practically trying to rip his clothes off. He kept telling me to stop and then I somehow ended up in bed alone.” Tauriel took another sip from her cup. Why didn’t she have some last night? Had Kili tried to give her some? She was really wishing she had listened to him if he had. She was wishing she had listened to him in general. “Ahh dammit! I probably scared him off!”

“You totally didn’t,” Arwen assured her. “He still stayed here all night to make sure you were okay, remember?”

“That’s not saying much and you know it. Feanor would do that.”

“No he wouldn’t. He would have fucked you then pawned you off on someone else. Come on Taur. I don’t know Kili that well, but despite some dumb choices that he made, which I have yet to fully forgive him for, he seems like I really nice guy who cares about you a lot. So you were horny last night. It happens. Did you want something to happen last night? Is that why you’re so upset?”

“No, of course not. I mean, maybe at the time I really wanted to,” Tauriel could feel her face heating up as she remembered how he kissed her last night before and after she was drunk, “but I’m glad nothing happened. I didn’t want our first time to be like that and obviously, he didn’t either.” 

“Okay… so if things worked out the way you wanted them to, I don’t really see the problem. Why are you so worried?”

“Because I was a stereotypical drunk idiot who practically assaulted him! What if he think’s that I’m easy to get in bed with? I mean that’s not a bad thing, but I don’t want our relationship to just be about sex. I’m not just a piece of ass to him like I am to Feanor. He actually cares about what I want and how I feel and I want to make sure that he knows that I feel the same way about him. I don’t want him to think that I’m shallow or that I might hurt him. What if I did a bunch of stupid or weird things last night that I can’t remember that are total turn offs for him and he’s not interested anymore? He probably already thinks that I’m irresponsible and don’t know how to hold my liquor. Who knows what else I did last night that I can’t remember? What if he thinks that I only want to be with him for his—” Tauriel fumbled with her words for a second, nearly mentioning Kili’s financial status as a Blood Durin, “his heroism? Y-Yeah. He was worried that other people might think that about us, but maybe he’s afraid himself. Arwen, what if it totally screwed this up? Gods my head hurts.” As Tauriel finished off her drink, she was surprised to find that Arwen wasn’t using the silence as an opportunity to interject her opinion or ask another question. Instead, she sat and looked at her with a strange mixture of astonishment and confusion, waiting for Tauriel to catch her breath after her lengthy rant.

“You actually care about this guy don't you?”

“Of course I do! That's nothing new. I've cared about other people I’ve dated before.”

“No. I mean you’re really serious about him. You’re genuinely worried about what he thinks about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that if last night happened with any other guy, you would have brushed it off as an embarrassing night and never thought of it again. If they thought you were sloppy or crazy, then they could stick around and deal or move on. You’ve never really been attached to any of the guy’s you’ve hooked up with whether you were in a relationship with them or not, but not this time. You actually care if Kili has any negative perceptions of you.”

“And is that a bad thing?”

“No, I’m just surprised is all. I’m trying to figure out what makes him so special.” Tauriel had been wondering this herself. She and Kili certainly had chemistry, that was impossible to deny, but it was as if they were drawn to each other like magnets. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that after the day his poem had been read in front of the class and she had spoken to him for the first time, she never wanted to be too far away from him. She had messaged him all the time and thought that it was just the excitement of connecting with someone so well, but it was clear now that it was more than that. It seemed logical that she would feel the need to know how he was doing now that she knew who he really was. She figured that was the reason why she was so angry and, now that she was willing to admit it, scared when he had ignored her for a week. Even so, they always seemed to find each other when they most needed to; the day they first officially met, the afternoon at the coffee shop, that evening in the record store, hell even last night during the party, they just gravitated together whenever they needed one another. She wished that he would just burst through her front door this moment because she needed to tell him that she was sorry for last night, needed to know that things were still okay between them. The fact that he wasn’t here now and she didn’t know where he was made her uneasy, and with an entire mob worth of people out for his head, she felt she had every right to be concerned for his well-being.

But what about his feelings? Was he having similar thoughts about her? Did he feel this same strange pull between them? She knew he worried about her now more than ever since Azog knew about her, but did he also have this inexplicable need to constantly know that she was safe? That she was happy and okay? Was he feeling this same attraction that she felt, or were these emotions completely unique to her?

“Tauriel?” Arwen called to her attention. Tauriel looked up quickly, unsure if that was the first time that her friend had called to her. “Are you okay? You kind of spaced out for a minute there.”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking is all…”

“Taur,” Arwen paused for a moment, a hint of shock outlined her expression. “Do you actually love Kili?”

“What? Of course not!” Tauriel immediately defended. “Why would I… Why would you ask that?”

“Because I’ve never seen you act this way, with anyone!”

“You’re being ridiculous Arwen. People don’t fall in love that fast… right?” Her friend remained silent. “Right?” Tauriel seemed to be asking herself that question just as much as she was Arwen. 

She couldn’t believe it. It was stupid to think that people could just fall for the right person so quickly, especially her. It couldn’t be love. It had to be lust, or the need for companionship, or desire or… some other feeling! And of course, her best friend would agree with her. Arwen had known Aragorn since they were five and they didn’t start dating until the middle of high school. It had taken them nearly fifteen years to realize that they actually loved each other all that time so of course, Arwen didn’t believe it. Tauriel began to grow uneasy however when her friend gave a guilty smile. 

“When I was a junior in high school,” Arwen began. “I had this English teacher. Very smart and methodical, always believing that there was a reason behind everything and a way to solve every problem. She was my advisor and one day when we were having lunch together, she told me about her husband. She was engaged to this man for almost two years after dating him for five and was planning to get married to him in the next three months. She had thought everything through. One day she met this other man when she was out getting coffee and they started talking…” Tauriel waited for Arwen to finish. She sat there expectantly and Arwen just looked at her as if she should know what the ending was.

“And?” she pressed.

“She eloped with the new guy one week later and have been married for 30 years.”

“A _week_? You’re kidding me. That can’t be true!” Arwen shook her head at her friend’s disbelief.

“I’ve kept in touch with her and have asked her if she was just messing with me multiple times. She swears on her father’s grave that she knew a man for one week and got married to him.” Tauriel couldn’t believe it. A week! It just didn’t seem possible for someone to abandon something they had known for seven years for something they had known for a week. Could she do that?

“How? How did she know?” Tauriel asked. Arwen smiled before finishing off her coffee. 

“She said she just knew. She couldn’t describe it, but she said she had never felt so sure about something in her entire life and she’s never been happier.” Tauriel looked down at the glass still half filled with water in her hands. While the migraine from her hangover was fading, she had different kind of headache coming on. Her fingers tightened around the cup as if by holding more tightly onto it, she could get a better grasp of her own thoughts.

“I… I know that I have feelings for Kili,” she admitted. “To say that I didn’t would be like saying my hair was blue, but I’m just not… I’m not sure if I really feel that way about him. I can’t believe that after knowing him for only a month.” 

“And I’m not saying that you have to,” Arwen assured her. “Love is not the same for everyone. My teacher and I couldn’t be more different in how we got to where we are, but we’ve still found people that mean everything to us.” It almost made Tauriel angry how easily that word came from her friend’s mouth. _Love_. It made her feel stressed just to think about it. With the exception of her friend, she had never seen it work out before. Theirs was the only relationship that she thought could make it and she hoped that their bliss could last. It hadn’t lasted with her own past relationships, with any of her other friends, and even Thranduil’s happiness was destroyed when his wife died. Why would she want to put herself through that?

“I don’t know Arwen,” Tauriel sighed. “All I know is that he’s important to me and I don’t want to let that go, but in my experience, relationships never work out, and before you say anything, you’re an outlier.” Arwen laughed at that and moved from her chair to sit next to Tauriel on the couch. 

“Well tell me this, do you want it to work out with you and Kili?”

“Of course!” Tauriel answered, but she was shocked by how immediate her response was and that it conflicted with her inner dialogue. 

“You don’t seem so sure.”

“I’m sure that I want to be with Kili, but there are a lot of… complications.”

“Such as?” Arwen pressed.

“I can’t tell you, at least not everything. It’s kind of personal for Kili. There are a lot of secrets in his family and I’m pretty sure that for every one that I do know, there are three that I don’t.”

“Look, I don’t know what Kili or his family is like, but I know you, Tauriel,” her friend grinned. “If you really are serious about him, you both need to be open about everything; him with his family, and you with your past and commitment issues. Not only is it unhealthy for you to be keeping secrets from each other, but you also have a pretty bad habit of doing less than ethical things to find out said secrets.”

“But still! Even if we do work all of the lies and secrets out, what about everything else that could happen? Things are going so well between us right now that I’m afraid of the day I’ll be so mad that I hate him. I don’t ever want to get to a point that he might break my heart or that I might break his!”

“So you're afraid to even try for happiness if it means that you have to go through some shitty moments? You know that's not how it works. Do you think that Aragorn and I don't have our fights? That my teacher and her husband didn't have problems? Their relationship was anything but perfect. We're all human Tauriel, and we make mistakes, we feel pain.”

“Of course I know that, I'm just really confused. I don’t know, maybe I'm still drunk. My emotions are just all over the place right now, I don't know what to do.” Tauriel hung her head and sighed. She’d never been so invested in a single person before. What was the right choice here? Was there a right choice? She felt Arwen take the glass from her hands and put it on the end table before wrapping her arms around her sad friend. 

“You know, people say that the ones that you love the most, the people you are meant to spend your life with or if you even wanna go so far as calling them soul mates, they’re the ones that are supposed to make you feel that happiest. They're supposed to be the ones that make you smile when you don't want to, make you appreciate the little thing that they do or love, suppose to make you forget all of the pain that you've ever gone through, but that's just not true. Those people aren't the ones that make you only feel the good things about life, they’re the ones who just make you feel the most; the most pain, heartbreak, sorrow, fear, the most love, and bliss. They’re the ones who bring out everything in you, even the parts you can’t stand, but still choose to love every piece. I don't know exactly how you feel. Maybe you’re right and it's too early to tell if anything will come from this, but wouldn’t it be wonderful if something does?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't posted in forever! I've been on vacation and I've been having serious computer problems but I can finally get this chapter up! Hope you enjoyed!  
> P.S. Arwen's story is a true one!


	21. Allies for now - Kili

Kili checked his phone for what felt like the fiftieth time in the last five minutes; still he had no message from Tauriel. He didn’t know why he was so anxious about hearing from her. She just needed some time to recover from last night and was probably still asleep. Arwen was with her now anyway so he didn’t need to worry. It’s not like she was actually mad at him about holding back, right? That was just the alcohol talking. Although, what if she was upset with him for not saying till she got up? Maybe her phone was dead. She did go straight to sleep when they got back to her apartment, so maybe she forgot to let her phone charge. Should he go see her? He wanted to but…

“Ugh!” he groaned to the sky in frustration. “Pull yourself together Ki.” He was so distracted by his concern over Tauriel that he couldn’t even focus on the sketch of the church’s bell tower he was attempting to create. The doctors had told him to make sure that he worked out his leg regularly but to be sure he didn’t overdo it, so he figured it would be a good idea to go for a walk through the local park, get some fresh air, and try to sketch rather than go to the gym and ask Gimli to spar with him. Sure he had a lot of homework to catch up on after missing a week of school, but perhaps if he got out of his apartment where his growing sketches of Tauriel didn’t surround him, he wouldn’t think about her. This was not the case.

She had been consuming his thoughts for the last three hours and couldn’t think of anything else. He had girlfriends in the past, and sure he thought at one time or another if she would be a good “candidate” as Thorin put it for the Durin family, but Tauriel was the only one he seriously considered and absolutely rejected at the same time. 

He had no idea what she saw in him, the second born heir who showed more interest in art than his future, but he wanted her in his life. There was no doubt about that. He had never fallen for someone so fast or so hard and he didn’t even know what to call his feelings. Infatuation? Enchantment? Lust? Well, it definitely wasn’t that, or even if it was that wasn’t all he was feeling. What about the other “L” word? Kili shook the thought from his head. It was way to soon for that, right? Either way, he didn’t want to label it and make things more complicated. Tauriel, as she is now, is enough for him. She pushed him to be better, let him feel like it was okay to want things for himself, made him believe he was worth something even though he was the second born, gave him hope that things in his family wouldn’t always be so maddening. Unfortunately, his family was just the problem. 

Durins don’t take kindly to outsiders and trust is hard to build. While “Durin” was practically a household name thanks to their monopolization of the jewelry industry, the existence of the Durin clans and their culture has been kept from the world for centuries. Very few married into the clans or were accepted as honorary Durins and those who did were not often well received. Their trust and loyalty were constantly put to the test and they were never truly accepted unless the Head of Family approved of them. 

Bilbo was one of the few people who had been brought into the clans thanks to Thorin because of their undying loyalty towards each other. Bilbo had let it slip once that he’d saved Thorin’s life before Azog was even in the picture, but it was the clan’s worst kept secret that they had both played a role in each others lives that was never to be questioned. Bilbo had proven to everyone that he had no intention of ever abandoning Thorin for anything and so he had been made an official member of the clan years ago, but it was not an easy journey. 

Kili had seen all of the struggles and prejudice that Bilbo had gone through from passive aggressive remarks to physical assaults. He was accused of being weak, an enemy who would betray the clan, and unfit to even be associated with the name of Durin. Even Throin’s sanity was brought into question after he made Bilbo his personal assistant, but Bilbo never wavered. Things are much easier now for him, but Kili still heard the whispers from those who thought no one was around; “masharragûh” they would say, “he who lies”. He didn’t want that for Tauriel, but if he ever truly wanted to be with her, she would have to. 

And all of this wasn’t even considering the physical danger she would be in because of Azog. Yes, she could protect herself, she had proven that, but she was still a target, she was still at risk. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if she ever got seriously hurt because of him or even—

Kili didn’t want to think any further than that. There were a million reasons that this relationship wouldn’t work out, and yet here he was, still convinced that it could. It wasn’t like he could bring any of this up to her though. Revealing the secrets of the clans was dangerous and highly punishable regardless of status. Many of the traditions couldn’t even be disclosed until after a couple was married because any sooner than that would be risking exposure. 

Why was he even thinking this far ahead? It’s not as if they were even that far along in their relationship and even if they were, it’s not like Thorin would ever approve of it. Sigrid at least comes from a family where some loyalty has already been established while Tauriel was the goddaughter of one of Thorin’s greatest enemies. What chance did they have of acceptance from either family?

“Shouldn’t you be at home, resting?” Kili glanced up to see Legolas standing beside him looking off into the distance. He was dressed in casual clothing, jeans and a t-shirt, but Kili knew that underneath he still had his badge and gun on him.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Kili groaned. He came out here to be alone and of all the people he could have run into, it had to be Tauirel’s brother.

“I doubt my sister would approve of you being out here having just been released from the hospital.”

“So what, have you been following me?” Kili slammed his sketchbook shut and tossed it aside on the bench. “Or do you have ‘people’ watching me too?”

“Ah yes, Aragorn told me that you found out about that last night.”

“Tsk. Not surprised he told you so quickly. So how ‘bout it? Is there someone here watching me now? Am I your own special project? Or have you maybe employed a couple birds here in the park to report back to you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Do you sing to call them back to you?”

“What does my sister see in you?” Legolas grumbled.

“Someone who can take a joke for one.”

“Did Tauriel get home safely last night?” Mahal, this guy was relentless. 

“Yeah, she’s fine. Arwen is looking after her now.”

“Good.” The two of them remained silent for a few passing moments. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

“Whatever,” Kili scoffed. It’s not like he would be getting rid of him anytime soon. The off-duty officer gracefully walked around and sat next to Kili on the bench, still not making any eye contact. Kili leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees and hands clasped together while Legolas leaned back, one arm resting along the length of the back of the bench.

“To answer you’re earlier question, no I’m not following you. I simply happened upon you and figured that now would be a good time to for us to talk.”

“About?” Legolas finally looked over, his eyes narrowed into a scowl. Clearly, he wasn’t in the mood for games. “Alright so talk, but if you really don’t want Tauriel to see me, then you should be talking to her and not me.”

“I’m sure that you know that is not something that would go well.”

“This isn’t going much better.”

“Better than her shouting and cursing at me or our father.”

“Your father,” Kili corrected. “I’m sure her stance on that has been vocalized many times.”

Legolas sighed. “Look Kili, Tauriel might not consider my father to be hers, and I understand that, but I still think of her as a sister; as a part of my family. She is impulsive, stubborn, and we don’t get along nearly as well as we used to, but she’s also someone that I care about a great deal, as I’m sure you do.

“Ever since the day she came to live with us when we were kids, I’ve watched out for her. She had always been so close with her parents and the day they died, she was inconsolable. I knew what it was like to lose a parent, but I still had my father while she was left with no one. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through, but I promised that I would watch out for her from that day on. Dad on the other hand was… overprotective of her and she would often come to me so we could escape him for at least a little while. As we got older, she stopped relying on me as much and began to take control of her life. I didn’t mind very much at the time, in fact, I was happy that she was able to move forward. That night though…” Legolas stopped, but Kili kept quiet and waited for him to continue. “I don’t understand why, but I know that she told you about that night already.”

“Wow. You have Aragorn trained well,” Kili mocked, but Legolas ignored the remark.

“You understand, I’m sure, that night wasn’t just terrifying for her. Dad flew off the handle and practically sent the entire police force to find the bastard who hurt her and was furious that he wasn’t the one who beat the shit out of him. He became even more protective of her when he met us at the hospital. The moment he saw her face he promised her he would keep her safe. As she recovered, he tried to convince me that we needed to be even more strict with her because he never wanted this to happen again… but he didn’t understand. He hadn’t seen her before, how it changed her.

“He didn’t see her fall on the floor of our house when she came in, shaking and crying. He wasn’t there when we sat in her bedroom and she begged me to burn her ripped clothes and how angry she was when I told her we needed it for evidence and couldn’t. He never heard her crying like that before; about how she had been so stupid for thinking it could never happen to her, about how much she hated herself.” 

Kili watched as Legolas’ face twisted in agony at the memories and he suddenly felt a great deal of sympathy and understanding for his motives towards Tauriel. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I can’t… I don’t even want to imagine what that must have been like to find her.” He felt sick to his stomach and was wishing now he could go back in time and hit that man even harder for what he did to her. 

Legolas took a deep breath before continuing. “After the assault, Dad only saw her as a victim and didn’t understand why she wanted to fight back on her own rather than let him protect her. All he saw was someone important to him that he couldn’t keep safe. Her chronic nightmares didn’t help with that either. He couldn’t see that underneath the bruises and the tears was someone who was not going to let this beat her. To Dad, that side of her is someone who is just refusing to ask for help.

“I do try, but to this day I still have a hard time getting rid of that image of her crying on the floor. Every time I look at her I have to remind myself that it’s not who she is anymore, and I know that it’s not, but…” Legolas clenched his fist and looked away from Kili. “I’m still a lot like my father in that I don’t want to see her hurt; I just go about it in a less direct way. She knows that I do this and doesn’t want me to, yet I can’t stop myself from wanting to make sure that nothing else goes wrong for her. There was nothing any of us could do about her parents, but we can do something about this. She doesn’t deserve anything like that anymore; she’s had enough. So I hope you can understand why I’ll do anything that I can to protect her.”

“And that includes keeping her away from me, right?” Kili huffed. “After all, I am connected to this city’s greatest threat and I am, as your father says, ‘a menace to the city’ and a ‘plague that needs to be whipped out’.”

“Did I say anything like that?”

“I mean… well…” Kili stumbled over his words for a moment trying to find the ulterior motive hidden in the cop’s eyes. “Wait, if you’re not going to tell me to stop dating Tauriel, what are you telling me?” 

The lines of Legolas’ face smoothed out as he recomposed himself. “Whoever it was that beat up the man that attacked Tauriel five years ago was kind enough to only beat him half to death. Through some interrogation and connecting dots, we found out that he did indeed work for Azog.” Kili felt something snap brain at the sound of that name but kept quiet. “This war has gone on long enough Kili, and I’m tired of listening to my radio terrified that one of those calls is going to be Tauriel again, or that someone else’s that will be hurt in the same way. I’m willing to do anything I have to so I can protect her, including working with you and your family.

“I’m telling you that I have every intention of honoring that promise we made at Tauriel’s place. Dad might be reluctant to help you, but if you need anything from me, I’ll do my best to accommodate you.” 

Kili was stunned for a moment. Was this Legolas’ long-winded way of giving his approval? “Hang on. So you don’t mind that we’re dating?”

“I didn’t say that either, but I’ve seen what your brother can do and I have no doubt you are just as capable as he is of protecting those you care for. I don’t know what my sister sees in you, but I’m willing to look past your name if you can prove that my faith in you is not wasted. In return for my support, I want you to continue to do everything you can for her, make sure that she’s okay and let me know if anything is wrong or if I can help her somehow. Please.” 

Kili looked down at the ground and chuckled. So that’s how it is, huh? Now he understood why Legolas was being so nice to him, taking his side. “Is this how you got Aragorn to be a spy for you?” Legolas didn’t respond, but Kili understood. It’s one thing to know someone you care for has been hurt; it’s another to witness the aftermath firsthand. As much as he didn’t agree with the methods, he could get Legolas’ reasons for being so overprotective. At least he was trying to keep his distance while doing so. 

However… “Look, I have no intention of letting Tauriel get hurt in any way, but let's be clear on one thing: I don’t work for you and I’m not your messenger boy. I’ll do my part to work with you, stop this war, and keep her safe, but it will be on my terms. You’ve done a lot to make sure nothing happens to her, but I’m not going to baby her and act like all the effort that she’s done isn’t worth anything because she’s worked hard to prove to everyone, especially you and your father, that she’s learned from her mistakes and isn’t going to take this anymore. I refuse to deny her that, so whatever it is that you have going on between you and her, you need to figure out on your own.” 

Legolas looked back in silence, considering Kili’s words. “I suppose that is all I can ask of you, isn’t it?” With a heavy sigh, Legolas stood and Kili followed suit as he accepted the hand that Legolas offered him. “Well then, I look forward to working with you.”

~

Kili only felt a slight twinge in his leg as he walked up the many flights of stairs to his apartment. He hated not being at a hundred percent and hoped that this wouldn’t last much longer, especially after making that deal with Legolas about—

“Tauriel?” Kili was surprised to find his beautiful, yet exhausted looking girlfriend outside of his front door just about ready to knock. She turned to the sound of her name, surprised by it, and locked eyes with Kili. She was wearing no makeup, had sunglasses resting on top of her head, and looked pale, even for her. She was still very hungover.

“Hey, Kili,” she smiled sheepishly and gave a small wave. 

“What are you doing here? I told you to text me when you got up. You didn’t have to come all the way out here.”

“I know, I know, but really wanted to talk to you about last night. You know… in person.” Kili felt his stomach flip into a knot. Oh Mahal what did he do that he forgot? What does she remember? Does she think he took advantage of her? “Can we go inside?”

“Yeah,” Kili said as calmly as he could manage. He quickly unlocked the door and let her walk into his apartment. Even though he hadn’t been home for a week, it looked like Fili had been too occupied with work to clean the place so it was little messier than the last time she had been there.

“Where’s your brother?” she asked. Kili tossed his bag on the kitchen table as he started to straighten up the random clutter scattered around.

“He’s at a meeting with Thorin. Talking next steps and all that.”

“Shouldn't you be there too?” she asked as she followed behind him.

“Nah. It's a Head of the Family thing. They’ll be meeting with the other clan leaders and discussing who to hide and where. You know, political stuff. Not really my strong suit.”

“Will he be back soon?”

“No idea. Why?”

“I just don't wanna be a bother.”

“You said that the last time you came here too,” he chuckled as he threw away some trash.

“Seems so long ago,” Tauriel mused.

“Yeah. Man, the last time you were here Fili was trying to get me to break things off with you.”

“He was?” she asked in confusion. “Why?”

“Your godfather.”

“Oh, right. He must not like me very much then since I might as well be his daughter.”

“Don’t worry, he’s had a change of heart; especially since Sigrid’s come into his life and you’ve saved mine. Do you, uh, want something to drink?”

“Only if it’s water,” she smiled. “I should've had a lot more of that last night.”

“I tried to get you to drink some,” Kili reminded. He made his way over to a cabinet, pulled out a glass for her, and filled it with ice and water. He handed it to her before walking over to the couch with her.

“And you couldn't get me to?” Tauriel took a large gulp before she sat down with Kili.

“What was I supposed to do? Force it down your throat or something?”

“No! I just… Last night is kind of fuzzy to me. I don't remember everything.”

“Well what do you remember?” Her face turned red and Kili grew nervous again.

“That I need to apologize to you. I was sort of… aggressive last night and you were just trying to help me. I don't normally drink that much, but that still doesn't excuse that fact that I was highly inappropriate with you. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

Kili didn't show it, but on the inside, he was filled with relief. She wasn't mad at him for anything. Everything between them was fine. “Don't even worry about it,” he smiled. “I don't blame you for drinking as much as you did and I certainly don't blame you for throwing yourself at me. I mean come on, how can you resist all of this?” Kili opened his arms and grinned to show himself off and Tauriel laughed out loud. 

“Yeah about that,” she hesitated as she came down from her laughing fit. “I know I practically jumped you, but I don't exactly remember what I did. I’m sort of afraid to ask, but can you maybe fill in the blanks for me?”

“Well, do you remember getting back to your apartment?”

“Sort of? I think I fell onto the couch and then you tried to get me to stand. I kissed you and then somehow we ended up in my room.”

“Do you remember getting mad at me?”

“No!” she gasped in horror. “Why was I mad at you?”

“You were mad because I kept refusing to sleep with you! My gods, you were an animal trying to get me into your bed! I thought you were going to rip my clothes off.”

“Oh Gods,” she groaned. 

“And you were trying to be really seductive about it too. I was saying how you would thank me in the morning for not sleeping with you when you were drunk and you said ‘You will thank me tonight’, ” Kili sighed and fluttered his eyes as he did his very poor impression of a swaying, drunk Tauriel.

“Oh my…” She covered her bright red face in shame. “Ugh, this is so embarrassing!” 

Kili was having too much fun with her now that he knew he was in the clear. He decided to keep the game going and cocked an eyebrow at her. “You were even telling me about how you had fantasized about us together in your bed.”

“No! Stop!”

“Naked.”

“Oh, please Gods tell me I didn’t say that!” she said, voice muffled through her hands. 

“Really, you truly are a poet. I can't fathom why you came to me for help in the first place.” Tauriel let out and exaggerated groan. “Don’t worry. I think you’re a very cute drunk.”

Tauriel sunk down into the couch and continued to grumble at herself. “I am never getting that drunk again.” 

Kili laughed and decided enough was enough. He leaned in and brushed her hair to the side slightly before leaving a small kiss on her forehead. “Don’t say never. I think it’d be fun to get you that drunk again. Besides, Fili and I will have to train you and Sigrid for Durin parties.”

“Does everyone get as bad as I did?”

“Worse,” Kili promised. “At least you didn’t break anything.”

“And you have?” Tauriel slowly brought her hands down and hugged a pillow that she pulled into her lap.

“Fili and I have a tally going. He’s beating me seven to five right now, but that’s only because he’s older. I’m planning on passing him soon enough.” 

Tauriel gave him a soft smile and shook her head, presumably at his stupidity. “Well, thank you Kili, for taking care of me last night. I’m sure I wasn’t the easiest person to deal with.”

“You were fine, I promise. Honestly, when you showed up here and told me you couldn’t remember much, I was actually afraid that you thought I might have taken advantage of you.” 

She looked back at him with a frown on her face and reached out to grab his hand, squeezing it slightly. “Kili, the thought never even crossed my mind. I know you would never do something like that. If anything I was afraid that I had taken advantage of you.”

“Well you certainly tried.” Kili laughed at the terror splashed on her face again. He could feel her tense as she held his hand tighter. 

“Oh gods what else did I do?”

“While you were being all flirty and trying to throw me into your bed, you sort of reached down and grabbed my dick.” Kili could barely contain himself as he watched Tauriel’s eyes go wide. 

“No. No! Oh, Fuck! FUCK!” She scrambled to let go of his hand and hide her face behind the pillow in her lap again, but Kili only continued to laugh as he fought to keep her from doing so and ended up holding her wrist and pulling her close.

“I mean that was your plan.” 

“Shut up! This is serious!”

“It's really fine, Tauriel.”

“I sexually assaulted you, Kili!”

“You were drunk and nothing happened.”

“And that makes it okay?” she shouted as she continued to struggle against him, but he only pulled her closer. Her pale cheeks began to grow an even rosier pink and as much as Kili wished it were from embarrassment, it was probably from anger.

“I didn’t say that now did I? You’re still freaking out over nothing.”

“But— I… Well at least let me apologize for it!”

“By all means,” he grinned devilishly.

“I’m sorry that I assaulted you!” she burst. Kili couldn’t help but chuckle when he suddenly felt all of the tension leave her arms and she slumped forward against his chest, exhausted from her outburst. Kili pulled her in for a hug as he slowly rubbed her back to soothe her.

“There. Feel better?”

“I don’t even know anymore,” she whimpered.

“Well you don’t have to worry. It’s really all fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I promise. I really don’t care. It’s not like I’m going to press charges against you or anything.” 

Tauriel relaxed the rest of the way into Kili’s chest, resting her head in a spot that seemed to fit perfectly into his shoulder. “I still feel bad about the whole thing.”

“I mean, I could always get in contact with this really hot up-and-coming lawyer that I know,” Kili jested as he began to play with her hair, twisting it around his fingers. “She’s still got a few years of school left, but she plans to specialize in cases of assault just like this. Not only is she talented and intelligent, but she’s gorgeous to boot.”

“Is that so?” she finally smiled. “She sounds very interesting, but how do you know that she would even take your case?”

“Oh, I think she would. Just between you and me, I think she might have a little crush on me.”

“Well whoever this lawyer friend of yours is, she’s very lucky to have someone like you in her life.”

“And he promises that he will always be there for her no matter how many times she blacks out and tries to jump his bones.”

“Kili!”


	22. Enter the Teacher - Fili

Fili ran up the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him. The elevator would have been faster, but if he had taken it he would have just been forced to stand idly at the mercy of the machine and risked running into others that would just slow him down. He didn’t have time for that. His heart was pounding and his lungs were burning, but the only think on his mind was getting to Sigrid and making sure that she was unharmed. Of course they were going to take her to the penthouse on the top floor. They just had to be extravagant about it didn't they?

When he finally got to the top, he stopped for a moment to and leaned against the wall next to the solitary door that had Sigrid on the other side. He couldn't very well go barging in completely out of breath and unprepared, but he couldn’t wait forever. Who knows what could happen to Sigrid if he waited a few seconds too long? He had to get to her. In one swift movement, Fili turned on his heel and pounded his fist against the door, but the only thing that answered was silence. He hit the door repeatedly again, but this time he heard shuffling footsteps on the other side. Fili watch as the golden door handle turned and the door slowly began to open.

“Ah, Master Fili. We’ve been expecting—”

“Where is she?” Fili demanded as he rushed passed the small man who had opened the door for him. The man wasn't exactly elderly, but his thick brows, messy gray and brown hair and long beard gave him a homeless sort of appearance. His eyes were droopy and his hands were covered in soil and dirt. “Where is Sigrid?”

“W-Why she’s out on the terrace with My Lady. Please allow me to escort you,” but before his sentence had even been finished, Fili had rushed away towards the back of the well furnished home. He rounded a corner and looked out to see Sigrid standing out near the edge of the terrace and Fili nearly leaped over a chair to get to her.

He slid the glass door open and shouted, “Sigrid!”

She nearly jumped at the sound of her own name but turned to smile as she saw him coming to her. “Fili—Umph!” She let out a shocked gasp when Fili didn't slow down until he had his arms completely wrapped around her in a tight embrace, effectively knocking the wind out of her. “Fili? What’s—”

“Oh thank the gods you’re okay! Are you okay? You're not hurt at all? ” Fili asked in a single breath. 

“I'm fine Fili,” she calmly promised. Sigrid quickly wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back soothingly and Fili responded by holding her tighter to his chest and placing small kisses on her cheek and temple. She was in his arms again and she was safe. “Shh, Fili. I'm alright. What's wrong? Are you okay? Why are you shaking? Here, let me look at you.”

“Are you sure you're all right?” he asked as he pulled away slightly to look into her eyes and brush some strands of stray hair away from her face. “Nothing’s happened to you?”

“Fili, I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be? What's going on?” Fili let out a sigh of relief, but now that he knew she was okay, the fear that had been suffocating him in his chest transformed into uncontrollable anger and he needed a target.

“Radagast!” Fili roared. Without letting go of Sigrid, he turned to face the man now coming through the glass door behind him. “You bastard! Next time you wanna tell me you’ve got Sigrid, don't make it sound so fucking cryptic!”

“What are you talking about, Fili?” a now nervous Sigrid asked. “Why are you yelling at him?”

“This asshole calls me out of the blue, tells me that he has you with him, says that I can come to this address to get you back and then hangs up the phone and won't answer me back! And then when you didn't pick up your phone…”

“I’m so sorry! I had just gotten off work and forgot to turn it back on! I didn't even know you called!”

“Gods I was terrified! I was so panicked that I didn’t even realize where I was going until I was halfway up the building! I was so afraid something had happened to you! I thought you had been hurt or kidnapped or…”

“Shh, Fili, shh. Calm down,” she whispered as she placed her hands on the sides of his face and turn him to look into her eyes. She gave him a small smile as she fixed his wild hair, half of which had fallen out of the ponytail he had made. “It's all okay now. I'm okay.” The sound of her voice took the wind from his angry sails and he relaxed as he held her tight, dipping his forehead into the crook of her neck. Thank Mahal above she hadn't been hurt. He would have been on the warpath if she had so much as a split end.

“Forgive me, Master Fili,” Radagast pled. “I was only doing as My Lady commanded of me.”

“And where is she?” Fili had a few choice words for her. 

“Thank you, Radagast!” a female voice called out. “You can go back to tending the garden.”

“Of course, My Lady.” Fili and Sigrid watched as Radagast quickly scurried away toward the other side of the terrace, where a multitude of herbs, flowers, vegetables, and trees were planted all over. Fili looked around at all the greenery and realized that the place was practically it’s own forest overrun with plants to the point that it seemed to be overtaking the building. There were far more now than the last time he had been here, although that had been years ago. He and Sigrid were standing near the penthouse doors while the rest of the roof had been entirely dedicated to this private garden. 

A woman slowly emerged from behind a small tree and gave an interested smile to the couple standing before her. Her hair was long and blonde with a hint of strawberry, soft and glowing as if it were the sun itself rolling down her back in waves. She wore a large sun hat that shaded her face and her dress was a soft beige with gold and scarlet trim; one that certainly wasn’t suitable for gardening. She took off a pair of thin, tight-fitting gloves to reveal pale, slender, yet calloused hands that motioned towards a bench not far away.

“Hello Fili,” she smiled. “It’s so lovely to see you again! Won't you sit down and talk? I can bring us some tea if you’d like.”

“Ivon,” he growled. 

“Oh, I'm sensing a bit of hostility here. Perhaps it would be better if we went inside, away from the sun?”

“What’s the hell are you doing, Ivon? If you wanted to talk to me, a simple phone call would have sufficed, but instead, you abducted Sigrid and have me run halfway across the city to get my attention? Well now you've got it, so what do you want?”

“Is that any way to thank me for saving your friend here?” she pouted innocently. “I understand that you're a little upset, but there is no need to be so unkind.”

“I'm more than just a little upset, Ivon! Now tell me what is going on.”

“Fili please,” Sigrid interrupted. “Ivon has been nothing but kind to me. She hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Yes she has Sigrid, I'm just not sure what yet. You don’t know her like I do. She’s notorious for having ulterior motives.”

“Well you needn't worry about that anymore,” Ivon promised as she approached the couple. “I've learned all that I need to now that you're here.”

“And what might that be?” 

Ivon only smiled at Fili as she passed and began to walk towards her home. “Radagast! We are going inside. Feel free to join us if you wish.”

“I shall follow you momentarily, My Lady!” the scratchy voice from afar replied. “Just as soon as I finished feeding the birds.”

“Please come inside. I'll get you some refreshments.” Fili’s scowl didn't leave his face as he held Sigrid's hand and walked with her back into the house. 

Ivon was a powerful member of the Durin clan having married a Blood Durin and was one of the only clansmen currently ranked higher than Fili. She and her late husband were regarded as two of the most powerful, skillful, intelligent, and valuable Durins the clans have ever known throughout their history. After her husband, Aüle, passed away, she spent much of her time at home tending to her garden and fulfilling her role as the Chief of Intelligence Acquisition for the acting Head of the Family and thus was rarely ever seen in person. She knew just about every secret a Durin could possibly know and has effectively protect the clans from countless threats, dangers, and exposures. 

She’s as wise as she is beautiful, but also just as deadly as Aüle, who had dedicated his life to one of the most important roles in the family next to being the Head; teaching Durins folk how to fight. However, while Fili was willing to put his life in this woman's hands, that by no means meant that she could be trusted. She’s efficient, effective, respected, and honorable, but she could also be manipulative and cunning. As loyal as Fili was to her, none of it changed the fact that she had taken Sigrid hostage and manipulated him into fearing for her life. Fili was furious at her, but also terrified that she saw Sigrid as a weakness that needed to be taken care of. 

“Oh please Fili,” Ivon interrupted his thoughts. “There’s no need for you to look at me like that.”

“You kidnapped Sigrid.”

“I saved Sigrid,” she shot back in a low tone. “Something you will do well to remember.” 

Saved? But Sigrid had said she was fine. Fili looked over to her in shock, but she didn’t return his glance. “What happened Sigrid? I thought you said that you were okay.”

“And I am!” she promised. “Nothing happened.”

“I suppose I should phrase things differently,” Ivon considered. “I more so prevented Sigrid from being in danger.”

“What danger?” Fili questioned. 

“Come,” Ivon cooed. “Let’s sit and talk.” While Ivon removed her hat and traveled into her kitchen, Fili and Sigrid made their way over to a large white corner couch near a low glass coffee table covered in various flora. There were so many plants everywhere that Fili felt that if he weren’t careful, he’d sit on one that might materialize out of thin air. He moved his thumb in small circles on the back of Sigrid’s hand as Ivon returned with a tray of freshly poured tea for each of them. “Please help yourself to a drink. I brewed it myself using the chamomile from my garden.”

“I know that I mentioned how beautiful you’re home was before,” Sigrid began as she took one of the china teacups, “but your garden is breathtaking as well.”

“Thank you, Dearie. I do love my garden. I’ve taken a great deal of pride in it. My late husband always loved to train outside in the sun while I tended to my simbelmynë.”

“Ivon,” Fili tried.

“He was a very kind and peaceful man, though not many people saw that side of him. He’d never tell anyone, but he loved to help me in my garden. He was a different person around me.”

“Ivon!” Fili nearly shouted. “You said you saved Sigrid. What did you save her from? What is it you’re not telling me?” 

Without warning, Ivon’s entire demeanor shifted. Her eyes snapped to Fili and the spring air around them went cold. Her face was carved with a glare, her shoulders squared, her jaw set, and her fingers curled around her knee as she crossed her ankles. Fili could feel the warmth slip from Sigrid’s fingers as she sat paralyzed, unable to move. He knew he’d made a mistake.

“Such impertinence,” she hissed with a cold stare. “You’re just as impatient as your uncle, if not more so. And your temper? Disgraceful. You are a guest in my home where I have shown you nothing but kindness and hospitality and you are being outrageously impolite.” Fili nearly felt himself shrink as shame and regret leached into his veins. His fear and rage had blinded him and was acting like an immature princeling, not the proper heir to and empire.

“You’re right.” Fili bowed his head. “Please forgive me, Lady Ivon. I meant no disrespect, nor did I intend to offend you.” He didn't move as the woman reached down and grabbed herself a cup. She eyed him, scanning up and down as if she were determining the truth of his words, but the room remained frigid.

“Well, at least your manners are more refined than Thorin’s. Patience is important for a leader so I suggest you study up on it. You’re uncle most certainly never did.” 

Fili raised his head to glare at her, but she took no notice as she sipped her tea. She dared to insult the Head of the Family? “Are you suggesting my uncle is not a good leader?”

“I said no such thing, I said he was impatient. Thorin is one of the greatest leaders our family has had in generations, sacrificing a great deal in order to bring us to where we are today, a fact which many of our younger comrades seem to forget. He is truly a hero among Durins, but even you must come to accept that he is flawed and does not always consider all of his options, making rash decisions as a result. In his determination to ensure that our family continues to be prosperous and secure, he is now quick to judge, has developed a significant amount of distrust for others, and has little consideration for the feelings and comforts of those outside of the family. In his pursuit of vengeance for those who have wronged him, he has broken bonds and made unnecessary enemies. Had he not so actively and relentlessly hunted Azog in the months after your attack, the madman would not have enlisted Smaug who’s cunning and deceptiveness has made them now nearly impossible to track. It's undoubtedly made my job more difficult to say the least.

“Thorin is unquestionably a magnificent leader and we are blessed to have him, but he is not without fault and you are far too dependent upon him as a model for how to rule. One day, you will be Head of the Family and Thorin will not be around to guide you. You will have to stand on your own, determine your own path, and protect our line with your own convictions and laws; not his, lest you make the same mistakes.” Fili frowned and looked away. She spoke to him as if he were still a child. Did she think wasn’t reminded of this fact every day? That he didn’t already know he would be a disappointment and never live up to be as great a leader as Thorin? Was it truly so obvious to everyone around him that he would fail? He felt Sigrid’s hand squeeze his in an attempt to comfort him and though he appreciated it, the gesture only did so much.

“Of course,” Ivon continued with a hint of optimism, “you are still young and have a great deal of potential. Thorin did not become the man that he is overnight and has certainly not done it alone. Bilbo, Dwalin, your mother, and everyone else Thorin holds dear has supported him, just as he and your brother support you. He had to fail and struggle to grow just as you have been, just as you will even after you are given your title. We do still have some time before that day comes, that is if we can finish this war soon enough.”

“We will end this,” Fili promised. He straightened his back and balled his hands into fist, carful not to squeeze Sigrid’s fingers too tightly. “Azog has had control over this city, over us, for far too long and he will be stopped. I won’t rest until we are all rid of Azog and Smaug forever and our family is safe once again. I swear on my blood as an heir of Durin.” 

Ivon’s judgmental expression melted away into warm admiration and pride. “Now that’s the Fili Durin that I want to take charge of the clans. There’s a splendid leader inside of you, I can see it in your eyes… You have your father's eyes you know.” Ivon grew somber as she looked down into her cup, watching the amber liquid ripple at her slightest movements.

“I don’t believe I tell you this enough, but you’re a great deal like your him. He too felt uncertain of his role as a Durin, particularly when it came to marrying your mother, though he handled his stress differently. He was rather rebellious and enjoyed taking risks, often putting passion before responsibility, a trait your brother seemed to have inherited. Ironically, your mother didn't mind his desire for adventure and would often run off with him when things became overwhelming and stifling for the two of them; sometimes they’d go so far as to disappear overseas for a week on a whim. They caused your uncle so much grief, but she would always bring him back. He was her freedom from her Durin blood and she helped him to see all that he could do with his. He often doubted himself, questioned how much good he could really do as a person and as a Durin, but at the end of the day he never shied away when it came to the protection of others.” Fili smiled at the mention of his father. He had often been told he looked like his father, and from the few stories he had heard, both he and Kili had a lot of their father in them. 

Fili wished he knew more about him. He wanted to know all about the man who swept his mother off her feet, who lived for adventure across the sea and in his own backyard, who was so dedicated to people that he ran into burning buildings for them. What would he have been like today if he were still alive? What would he think of Sigrid? What would he tell his sons who were almost full grown but still felt like they were nine and fourteen?

“You never talk about Dad anymore.” Ivon set down her cup on the table with a small clink, a bittersweet look in her eyes.  
“Yes... well, grief is not a finite substance, it doesn’t run out as time goes on, but the distance does help provide some clarity. He is gone yes, but he has left himself behind in you and your brother. I think he would be very proud of the man you are and have no doubt about what a great man you will become. He had his fears, but he didn't let them stop him, and he wouldn't want yours to stop you.” Fili wasn’t sure he believed that his father would be proud, but the thought still brought him comfort as he nodded in thanks to the woman across from him.

“Were you and Fili’s father close friends?” Sigrid asked. Ivon brought her hand up to cover her gasping mouth and Fili stifled a laugh, but failed to stop the sound coming out is nose. Poor Sigrid. Of course she wouldn’t know. 

“Oh my! You’re too kind young lady, but you don’t need to concern yourself with flattery around me.” Fili knew his amusement was unfair and he did feel a little bad, but he couldn't help but grin and finally let out a laugh at Sigrid’s embarrassed confusion. 

“Please Sigrid,” he calmed himself to explain, “allow me to properly introduce you. This is Ivon Durin, Keeper of Durin Truths, wife of Aüle, Forger of Men, and my paternal grandmother.”

“Y-Your grandmother!” Sigrid gasped as she turned to a now beaming Ivon. “How is that possible?”

“Well you see Dearie, when two people love each other and have children, and then those children—”

“But you can’t be older than forty!”

“I’m actually seventy-six,” she laughed. “Won the lottery in the gene pool department, but don’t let my age or my appearance fool you, there is a reason Aüle choose me to be his wife.”

Sigrid’s expression dropped. “Oh. So you were chosen as his wife?”

“Oh, Dearie not like that. While there have been arranged marriages among Durins, they are very rare and haven’t happened for generations. Aüle and I were very much in love with each other and nothing between us was contrived or false. I chose him just as much as he chose me. Why we liked to think that our loved rivaled that of Mahal and Yavanna.”

“Ivon,” Fili warned. “Should you really be saying such things? Thorin will have your head if—”

“Thorin knows that I’m irreplaceable, especially right now. The man needs to learn to be more relaxed with things.”

“Who were Mahal and Yavanna?” Sigrid asked.

“They are our father and mother, our creator and our bearer, the ones who brought us here and the ones we will return to.”

“So… they’re your gods?”

“Oh we have many gods, but they are the ones that we worship. There are also—”

“Ivon,” Fili interrupted again. She shouldn’t be—cannot be—telling Sigrid this. It is the responsibility of all Durins to keep the heritage of their families and their culture a secret from all outsiders, and that included Sigrid; at least for now that is. He may tell her one day if they ever got married, but that was so far ahead that it was pointless to concern himself with it. There was no guarantee that she would want to be with him for that long; or that he would even live that long. If Ivon continued to tell Sigrid everything, then she would be trapped forever in the Durin family, watched forever so she could not divulge their secrets and Fili didn’t want that for her. So why was Ivon telling her? She knows better than anyone the importance of these secrets and the repercussions for revealing them. Does she trust Sigrid that much after a single meeting? Her impish grin told him that she was planning something.

“Yes. I apologize to both of you. My mouth seems to have run away with me. That is a story for a later date. For now, our concern is you, Sigrid.”

“Me?”

“She hasn’t done anything wrong!” Fili defended. “Why is she a concern?”

“She is a concern because she is no longer just on Smaug’s radar, Azog has officially set his sights on her now.” Fili felt like a boulder had been dropped into his stomach. He looked over to Sigrid who had gone pale.

“No,” he muttered. “This can’t… how does he…”

“Are you surprised?” Ivon asked as she took another drink. “Smaug might have his own agenda, but he and Azog are still allies. Why wouldn’t he tell his partner of his enemy’s potential weakness? And with her father being an enemy of Smaug, she’s the perfect target to take out two birds with one stone.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“You question my knowledge?”

“No. I just—”

“It’s quite alright. The truth is I just learned who Sigrid was this afternoon when I met her, though that’s only because she wasn’t high on my to-do list. Thorin seemed to think my efforts should be directed to more pressing tasks. I was aware of her existence, just not anything about her. If given the proper amount of time, I would have everything detail of about you from the elementary school you attended to your latest blood test.” Sigrid’s only response was a shiver and Fili glared at his grandmother. There was no need to frighten her like that. “Oh no, I’m sorry, Dearie. I’ve made you uncomfortable, haven’t I? Please forgive me, it is my job after all.”

“What happened today?” Fili asked, hoping to finally get some answers.

“Ah yes, today. Well, Radagast and I had gone downtown this morning to get some shopping done. It was a quiet morning and we were able to gather everything that we needed sooner than expected so we decided to simply wander the city and see what fate could bring to us. As we sat down in a café to have some tea, we noticed that there were a few of Azog’s know associates wandering about the city. Nothing out of the ordinary, but we kept a close watch on all who passed us. When three of them went into a bookstore at the same time, I decided it would be best for us to investigate. 

“The shop was unassuming enough and was not a known intersection of Smaug or Azog, but as we looked around we noticed a common target that each of them had passed by; a young woman looking through a pile of novels. I was certain she had no connection to Azog, she wasn’t his type, and I knew she wasn’t a Durin since it’s my job to know all of them, so it was peculiar to me that three fully trained men were circling a single woman like vultures. I thought it best to approach her and see what I could detect, perhaps provide her with aid if need be. I walked over and was about to ask her if she could recommend a book for me until I saw her necklace that is. That was all I needed to know who you were Sigrid.”

“My necklace?” Sigrid reached up and touched the blue gem around her neck and twisted it. At the sight of the chain still hanging on her neck, Fili let out a sigh of relief. It had worked, and thank Mahal it did.

“Yes, Dearie. I had heard rumors that Fili had started seeing someone. Now that in and of itself is not news as Durins date all the time, but that necklace that you wear is special. The moment that I saw it I recognized that it was Fili’s handy work. He’s quite talented, though he his my grandson so why wouldn’t he be?”

“You mean that you can tell that this was made by Fili just by looking at it? How?”

“Oh it’s not just a talent I possess. Fili does as well along with all other Durins. Some say that every Durin craftsmen has a signature look or style to their work that is instantly recognizable to others, some claim that it’s an inherent trait or a skill that we learn in order to identify each other’s talents and family ties, and others believe that it’s a small amount of magic that we put into our work that speaks to us. While I personally like the latter of the three, most people consider it foolish to believe in such things.”

“But that doesn’t explain how you knew that it was made for me. How could you have been so sure that it wasn’t just any other piece of jewelry that he had made and sold?”

“And that’s where the magic comes in. I could tell from the shine of that stone to the interact twists of the metal that a great deal of time and effort had been put into that piece of jewelry, too much for it to be given away freely or placed in a shop. No, that was a precious gift he had made for someone important.” Fili quickly became uncomfortable under his grandmother’s gaze. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking, if she approved or not, but at least for now it seemed like she was helping them, and he needed all the allies he could get right now. “Now Sigrid, you need to understand this because it's very important: you can never, under any circumstance, take that necklace off.”

“Oh… Well, I hadn't intended too, but why?”

“So long as you wear that, it is as if you are wearing a beacon that only Durins can detect. Each of them will know that you are under our protection, specifically Fili’s. If you are ever in danger, a Durin will come to your aid; it's how I knew to help you.”

“Fili, why didn't you tell me that’s what this was really for?” Fili was almost taken aback by how offended she sounded.

“Because that wasn't my intention when I gave it to you,” he said. “And I didn't think it would need to be used that way, at least not so soon. I didn’t want you to worry and think that you would always be in danger at every turn.”

“And that was unacceptably short-sighted of you,” Ivon criticized, “because the fact of the matter is that she is in constant danger now. Hiding that from her was not going to make her any safer. That being said, she knows now and that is what’s important. You will need to be more aware of your surroundings from this point on and you must keep that with you at all times. Do you understand?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Lovely! Now then, where had I left off in my tale? Ah yes. I do wish to apologize again to you Sigrid. My approach to you could have been more tactful.” Fili was suddenly struck with horror as he turned to Sigrid again. His grandmother was known for being assertive, regardless of status. She could’ve done anything.

“What did she say to you?”

“She came up to me and called me by name then started asking me questions about you. I was so shocked that she had used your full name in public that I was afraid that she worked for Azog and was going to attack me. I tried to get away, but she apologized and said she was a Durin herself who knew you personally and wanted to warn me that I was being watched. She was perfectly happy to help me and said that she would call you for me.”

“I am sorry for coming on so strong, but in my defense, you were being pursued and I needed to act quickly.”

“N-No! I completely understand.”

“Yes well, after I had explained everything to her, I asked if she would come with me so we could chat. I had Radagast lead Azog’s men off and told him that when he was certain he was rid of them to call you to come see her.”

“Did you tell him to make it sound like she was taken as a hostage?” he accused. “I nearly had a heart attack when I heard that someone had her and didn’t tell me who they were.”

“I will admit that I did instruct him to do so, but I will not apologize to you for it. You must understand this situation from my perspective: a rumor begins to fly around that you have started seeing someone and upon my first interaction with her, I find that she has priceless Durin craftsmanship around her neck? I needed proof that you cared about her enough to give her such a valuable gift. Fortunately, you have done just that, arriving here in record time and Erebor is a good half hour away; you arrived in a little over half that.”

“How did you… never mind,” he sighed. Of course she knew he was at Erebor. It was difficult to get anything passed this woman. 

“Well, I do believe that we are all caught up then.”

“Caught up sure, but Sigrid is no safer. Azog knows about her,” Fili reminded. “You evaded him today, but that only guarantee’s that he’ll come back. We need to come up with a plan to keep her safe.”

“I’m well aware. Which is why—”

“Excuse me,” Radagast interjected. He stood behind the couch over Ivon’s shoulder with his hands carefully folded in front of him. “Pardon the interruption My Lady, but did you possibly clean Belle’s cage and feed her for me?”

“I did my friend,” Ivon smiled.

“And my tools?”

“Cleaned and sharpened. I hope you don’t mind, but I thought that you might like more time to play with Belle this afternoon or perhaps catch up on your reading.”

“My Lady,” Radagast began to tear up, touched by her actions. “You are too kind to me.”

“Nonsense. Now please, go and take some time to yourself. You’ve done more than enough for me this morning.” Radagast gave a small bow before eagerly skipping back outside. “Belle is his pet rabbit,” she explained to Sigrid. “He’s quite fond of her.”

“Honestly, Ivon,” Fili grumbled. “You are one of the highest ranking Durins in the entire family and it’s as if you serve him more than he serves you.”

“We take care of each other, Fili. Which is exactly what you two are going to have to do.”

“What are you talking about?” Was his grandmother insinuating that he wasn’t taking care of Sigrid properly? How could she believe that after such a short amount of time? Whatever she had in mind, Fili was going to prove that he was completely devoted to Sigrid and would take care of her any way he could. 

“Sigrid,” Ivon began, folding her hands in her lap. “How would you feel about learning how to fight like Fili does?”

“Absolutely not.” 

“Fili?” Sigrid gasped. 

“No. She will not learn to fight. I won't let that happen.” Fili tried to think of twenty more ways to say no to this. Sigrid learn how to fight like a Durin? How to break bones? How to kill if necessary? The training that he and Kili had gone through was aggressive and unforgiving. Exposing Sigrid to that was completely out of the question.

“Well it’s a good thing that I wasn’t asking you then, isn’t it?”

“I will not put Sigrid through that kind of training. I can protect her just fine on my own.”

“Just like you did today?”

“I underestimated Smaug today. It won’t happen again.”

“You’re right, you won't, because another underestimation like that could mean one or both of your deaths and I for one am not willing to risk that.”

“Sigrid is a nurse. She took an oath to do no harm and so I will not have her learn how to hurt people.”

“But you would rather her develop a severe case of learned helplessness so that if something does happen to her she can just sit back in fear before you can swoop in and save her, correct?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Fili nearly growled. “I am perfectly capable of protecting her on my own.”

“You are, but I am fairly certain that Sigrid does not want you hovering over her shoulder twenty-four seven and would feel even more uncomfortable if you were somehow able to convince your uncle to give her bodyguards.”

“No thank you,” Sigrid mumbled as she shook her head.

“Fili, you have a persistent need to take care of others and be the hero,” Ivon explained. “You have spent all your life taking care of and protecting your brother, sacrificing your own happiness so that you can protect and take care of the Durin family, and now you are insisting upon doing the same for Sigrid.”

“And?” Fili challenged. How was this any kind of issue? What was so wrong about him wanting to take care of her and keep her safe? Her whole life has been tragedy after tragedy and he wanted her to have every bit of happiness that he could provide, including making sure that no harm ever come to her. 

“And, by refusing to let Sigrid learn how to fight for herself and stand on her own two feet, you are denying her the ability to prove to you that she is not only capable of taking care of herself, but also of you. You must take care of each other and keep your relationship balanced or else it will fall apart and Azog will be at your throats.

“You are holding her back Fili, and for what? Out of fear for her? She’ll be in more danger if she doesn’t know how to at least escape an attacker.”

“I…” Fili wracked his brain for some sort of response. He didn’t want Sigrid to learn how to be a Durin. She was Sigrid and that how he wanted her to stay. Was he truly the villain for wanting to keep her from becoming violent like he was? Like his family was? He didn’t want his world to change her, to change the woman he was falling head over heels for.

“I’m not saying she’ll learn how to fight men like Azog as you and your brother have, but at the very least she should learn how to protect herself. It’s a good life skill to have in the first place.”

“I make sure she’ll never be put in danger ever again,” Fili argued desperately. “I won't let it happen.” 

“Fili, please,” Sigrid finally spoke up. “I… I agree with your grandmother.”

“Sigrid,” Fili turned to face her and held both her hands within his. He had to convince her that nothing good came from being a Durin in any way, but especially fighting. How could he make her understand? “I promise that I will always protect you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this just because of what happened today. Even if I can’t be around, your necklace will give you more than enough security. You don’t need to do this.”

“But I want to Fili. It’s not fair that you have to do all this for me. You’ve been working tirelessly worrying about me and I feel so guilty all of the time because I’m so useless.”

“You’re not useless, Sigrid! Never!” he promised as he cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand. “Is that what this is about?”

“No,” she frowned. “This is about me wanting to take away some of your burdens, to give you one less thing to concern yourself over. This world is unpredictable and you can’t shelter me from everything. I don’t want to be treated like a china doll anymore. I want to prove to you and your family that I’m not weak, that I can take care of myself.” Fili studied Sigrid’s expression as she continued, the resolve in her eyes growing stronger with every word. He wasn’t going to change her mind on this, was he? Mahal, she was already so beautiful and strong, he didn’t want to lose her.

“Sigrid…”

“Please, Fili,” she pled as she leaned into his hand. “I want to learn how to protect you too.” He knew he had lost right there. She was his weakness and his power, his Achilles’ heel and Herculean strength, she was his lionheart that would follow him whether or not he asked her to.

“Okay,” he sighed. “If that’s really what you want.”

“It is. I promise I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won't. I’ll start coming up with some things I can teach you tomorrow.”

“Pardon me,” Ivon interrupted. Fili nearly jumped, forgetting that his grandmother was in the room and had just witnessed their exchange. His cheeks began to share similar shades with Sigrid, who was obviously embarrassed for the same reason. “As wonderful and beautiful as this revelation is, I do believe that I was the one offering to teach her.”

“I can train her,” Fili assured. “I have no problem with that. You don’t have to trouble yourself.” Ivon let out a heavy sigh.

“Let me put it to you this way. Fili, You are not going to be training her in any capacity because I am.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying you are not proficient enough to teach her.”

“You’re saying I’m not capable of showing my girlfriend how to protect herself?”

“Well considering those two sentences are essentially identical to each other, yes; that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Of course I’m capable! I’m one of the most skilled fighters in the entire Durin line!”

“Talent does not equate to teaching ability. Not only do you lack the experience and the patients to instruct someone, but you will be far too easy on her.”

“That’s not—”

“Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t let her take a break every time she showed a hint of fatigue or that you would be willing to flip her onto her back to show her what her mistakes can cost her?” Fili let his mouth hang open to defend himself, but the words did not come out. “This is not some silly class where your mistakes can be glossed over and forgotten. This is war and I will not let her go into a battle with a knife and no knowledge how to use it. I have not only fought for many years, but I have been witness to my late husband’s training regimens for his students. I will be the one instructing her, unless you would rather have me find someone else for her?” 

Fili looked over to Sigrid who appeared nervous but showed no sign of disagreement. Ivon had planned this from the beginning and now she had him trapped, but as much as he hated the idea of his grandmother teaching Sigrid how to fight like a Durin, the idea of handing her over to anyone else in his family made his blood boil. 

“Fine. We’ll do this your way.” Fili felt sick to his stomach as he watched a grin spread across Ivon’s face in an unsettling way. 

“Excellent. Sigrid, from this day forward, your training as a Durin shall be my responsibility.”


	23. All We Wanted was a Nice Dinner - Tauriel

“Did someone really ask you that?”

“Yep. Apparently you win one street fight and everyone thinks you’re a spy with the fighting experience of a hundred-year-old karate master.” Sigrid and Tauriel laughed along with each other as they finished their meal. They sat at the back of a dimly lit restaurant that Tauriel had found when walking through town one afternoon. It was small and somewhat of a hole in the wall, but the food was appetizing and inexpensive, and the space had a relaxed atmosphere with candlelit lamps on the walls and subtle music playing overhead. The booth Tauriel and Sigrid sat in was comfortably secluded and away from most of the other people dining, but they were still careful not to disturb those around them as they vented about the new aspects of their lives.

“Thank you again for meeting up with Tauriel,” Sigrid quietly smiled as she folded up the napkin in her lap. “I wish my shift at the hospital hadn’t ended so late.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s really no trouble,” Tauriel assured her. She hadn’t objected at all when Sigrid had asked if they could find some time to get together and talk. She didn’t have any other plans tonight since Kili was spending some time with his brother, and had actually been looking forward to speaking to her new friend.

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I’ve kept you out for so long and I’m sure you have your own work to get done.”  
“Of course not! I’m actually glad we could finally get together again. I really enjoyed our conversation at the hospital a week ago and it’s nice to be able to talk so openly to someone other than Kili about everything and not worry about saying too much.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Sigrid agreed. “There’s no way I’m going to talk to my da about my relationship and it’s hard enough watching what I say around the other nurses I work with. I can’t imagine having to fend off an entire school of people every day.”

“Ugh! Tell me about it. I thought the week he was in the hospital was bad enough, but now that he’s back I feel like we’re always being watched. Some people treat us like we’re the most romantic thing since Beren and Luthien, others look at us like we shouldn’t even exist, and the rest don’t know what the hell to think! I really don’t see why they care so much.” Well, that wasn’t totally true. Tauriel didn’t understand the fixation, but she knew exactly why everyone was so excited. A well-known, outgoing, and overall well-liked senior girl suddenly going out with a quiet, secretive, and outcast sophomore guy? It was like a real-life Cinderella story.

“What does Kili think about the whole thing?”

“He feels guilty mostly like it’s his fault that people are assholes who don’t know how to respect other people’s privacy. He’s not totally comfortable with people coming up to him more often, but he still doesn’t get nearly as much attention as I do.”

“Why’s that?”

“People are nervous around him. It’s not like he’s unapproachable or anything, but he was kind of unknown before, so nobody really knows what he’s like or how to talk to him. Throw in some rumors that he knocked out 20 guys at once and people tend to stay away.” Tauriel was too embarrassed to say, but as much as she wanted Kili to experience her pain from last week, she was also one of the reasons people were staying away from him; or at least a specific demographic.

She hadn’t realized she was even doing it until Kili mentioned that Gimli saw her giving a couple of juniors who were talking to him her own version of the ‘Durin Death Glare’. She was happy that he wasn’t seen as an outsider anymore, but the sudden influx of female interests rubbed her the wrong way. Oh sure, now everyone knew who he was, now they found him interesting, now all the girls thought he was worth dating. Well too bad.

She would have felt embarrassed about her actions if she didn’t know that Kili was doing the exact same thing. Unlike her, he was using his new reputation as a professional ass kicker to its full capacity and once he was back as school, significantly fewer guys tried to flirt with her, including Feanor. It actually seemed like Feanor was turning his attention to someone else who actually likes him back and—shocker—has reddish hair.

“I’m sure it will all blow over soon enough,” Sigrid encouraged. “They’ll find something else to occupy their time and then it’ll be one less thing you have to worry about.”

“I could definitely use that. I already have enough on my plate as it is with school and graduation and Thranduil being all pissy with me. I just wanna spend as much time with Kili as possible before I have to leave for graduate school next fall.”

“Oh? Where are you going?”

“The Lothlórian School of Law.”

“Are you serious? That’s one of the most prestigious schools in the country! And you’re going there to study law? That’s incredible!”

“Thank you!” Tauriel laughed at her friend’s enthusiasm. “Yeah, it’s going to be four more years of school along with internships, then the bar exam, then trying to find a job to pay off my lifetime of student loans.”

“Can’t Chief Greenleaf help you pay them off?”

“He’s already paying for my undergraduate, Valar knows why with the relationship we have, and he’s had his hand in just about everything else I’ve ever done. I’m tired of being so dependent on him and I don’t want him to be involved in my life any more than he already is. I can’t rely on him.” Tauriel noticed how Sigrid’s brow knit together, and she looked as though she were fighting off a frown. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to… I don’t know. I guess just have such a good relationship with my da, it makes me sort of sad that you don’t have that with Chief Greenleaf. I know that he’s not really your father, but feeling like you can’t rely on him must make things so difficult for you.” Tauriel looked away and fixated her sights on the soft glow a small lantern hanging on the brick wall of the restaurant. She had exhausted herself for years trying to explain to others why she didn’t get along with Thranduil, and not enough people accepted her reasons. Most people who asked her why she didn’t like him had great relationships with their parents, and it irritated her to no end when they told her ‘He still raised you like a father,’ and ‘At least he’s trying’ or ‘He’s not trying to replace your parents’. She wasn’t mad at Sigrid for being concerned about her, she knew it came from a good place, but her relationship with Thranduil was beyond fixing.

“It’s not that I can’t rely on him.” Tauriel poked at the scraps of pasta left on her plate with her fork. “Things aren’t always bad between us, and I know that he’ll be there if I really need him, but we just don’t get along. When it comes to what I want, I don’t think I’ve ever had his full support. He was disappointed when I chose track over ballet, frustrated when I became interested in archery because ‘why would I ever need that?’, and appalled when I started learning how to fight.”

“But he still let you do those things right?”

“Yeah and I am grateful for that, but he still didn’t approve of any it. Besides, I’m fairly certain that the only reason he let me was because he knew he couldn’t stop me. If I was going to do something he didn’t want me to do, he would rather keep his eye on me while doing in instead of forcing me to do it behind his back. He and Legolas have always gotten along, but he and I are just too different from each other and butt heads all the time. I’ve always wanted to try new things, ya know? Travel, step outside the box and explore, but he so traditional and structured. He likes order and being in control. He was thrilled of course when I told him I wanted to be a lawyer; not so happy when he found out I wanted to be a DA and actively antagonize the people he arrests every day. At some point, I just realized that if I wanted to be happy and do the things that I wanted, I would never really have his support and approval, so I stopped trying to earn it. At the end of the day, he’s always just been my guardian, not my parent and definitely not my father.”

Sigrid eyed her sheepishly. “So then if you don’t mind me asking, what were your parents like?”

Tauriel took a sip of the last bit of water in her glass. “I only really know what Thranduil’s told me and what I remember about them from when I was twelve. Neither of them had siblings and I never knew my grandparents so there’s no one else I can really ask. I know my mom was really athletic; she was a personal trainer and loved history and reading. My dad wanted to be a cop at one point, so he and Thranduil really bonded over that. He ended up being a pilot and traveled a lot, but he spent as much time at home as he could. Every time he came back he’d tell me stories about all of the amazing places he’d been, and sometimes we’d band together to pull pranks on my mom.” Tauriel laughed at her memories, wishing she had more of them.

Thranduil and her father had been friends since high school. They’d roomed together in college where her dad met her mom, and they were each other’s best man at their weddings. Tauriel wished she knew more about her parents than her memories afforded her, but it was too painful for Thranduil to talk about his best friends anymore. She had hoped that one day he would stop seeing her as a child and actually talk to her about what they were like, but with the way their relationship is now, that might never happen.

“They sound really wonderful,” Sigrid smiled at her.

“I like to think so. It’s nice to talk about them again.”

“It’s funny, your father sounds a bit like Fili and Kili’s father. Apparently, he was really adventurous too.”

“That’s right!” Tauriel gasped. “Kili told me you got to meet their grandmother last week! What’s she like?”

“She seems so young!” she exclaimed. “She looks like she could be their mother or their aunt, and she acts so chipper and innocent; almost like a child! She’s not shy but still goes about things so formally. She comes off as this unbelievably sweet woman who likes to take care of her garden, drink tea, and gossip about her neighbors, but apparently, she’s one of the most intelligent and dangerous clan members.”

“Dangerous? I mean, Kili mentioned she was really respected by their family, but the way you describe her, she doesn’t sound that intimidating at all.”

“She is though. I haven’t seen her fight before, but considering how Fili’s reacted, I’m not sure I want to. The way she talks to you, the way she carries herself, it’s like she always has the upper hand. It’s hard to explain…” Sigrid worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to think of a way to describe her experience. “It’s not like when we met Thorin. You take one look at him and you see this powerful man with a stern face, fire in his eyes, and a look that says he’s ready to fight; there’s nothing deceptive about him. When he’s angry, you feel it surrounding you, looming in the air, the tension in the room slowly boils till everyone is uncomfortable and you can see the explosion coming.

“Ivon is elegant and simple with this friendly air about her that draws you in. She’s inviting and kind and wants to make sure that you’re comfortable. When she’s angry though, it’s cold and fast and this feeling of fear runs straight through your heart. There’s no pretense or warning and it’s too late by the time you realize that any small movement could be the end of you. She doesn’t need to fight you because she’s already won.”

“Wow,” Tauriel mused as she tried to imagine this apparently deadly woman in her mind. “She’s exactly what I aspire to be.”

“Ha! Trust me, you are already quite terrifying,” Sigrid giggled.

“So then I gather you like her?”

“Yeah. She’s been nothing but kind to me, and as far as I know, she doesn’t dislike me.”

“What did Fili have to say about her?”

“I don’t think he completely trusts her. She’s not a bad person or anything, but he thinks that she’s hiding something from him. I thought all of our interactions were completely normal, but Fili told me she’d most likely planned out every step the moment she met me. Apparently taking me to her home was some kind of test for Fili, which I think he passed? She’s pretty hard on him, but I think it’s because she cares so much.”

“Excuse me.” Their waiter quietly came up behind Tauriel and offered to take their plates. Tauriel asked for their checks as well and he happily agreed. Her gaze followed the waiter as he left and fell upon a stocky man with blond hair eating by himself and scratching his chin. She couldn’t pick out any of the features of his face, but he was casually dressed and had a briefcase sitting next to him. He had gotten there only a few minutes after she and Sigrid had and about halfway through their evening, Tauriel noticed that every ten minutes he scratched his chin again. She had even timed it once; ten minutes on the dot. Not exactly screaming ‘dangerous’—he could very well have OCD or a tick of some sort—and she didn’t want to worry Sigrid, but she continued to watch him with caution.

“You see her often though right?” Tauriel asked, resuming their conversation. “Or have you not started training with her yet?”

“I started working with her the day after we met, two hours every day. Fili’s come in a few times to work out a bit, but I think he’s just trying to make sure his grandmother doesn’t overwork me. She lets him stay as long as he doesn’t distract me.”

“So you have no days off?”

“It’s not like the people hunting us are going to take a break.”

A sudden realization sparked in Tauriel’s mind. “Wait a minute. Let me see if I have this right: you’re working early hours at your family’s café, driving your siblings back and forth to school and just generally taking care of them like a stay at home mom, taking online classes to finish your degree, working a second job at a hospital with extended hours under the immense stress of everyone around you being sick and injured and/or dying, and on top of it all, taking daily self defense classes from your boyfriends grandmother who is essentially a trained assassin?”

“Um… Yes?” Sigrid shrugged self-consciously.

“Are you kidding me?” Tauriel’s mouth dropped open and for a moment she thought it had fallen into her lap.

Sigrid quickly tried to shh her and looked around the room embarrassed. “Tauriel! There are other people here! Don’t bother them!”

“How the fuck are you still standing? What the hell are you even made out of? Diamonds? Do you even have time to spend time with Fili and relax? Do you have any free time at all? When do you sleep? Do you even sleep? Please tell me you sleep.”

“Yes! Yes, I promise that I sleep!” Sigrid defended with her hands raised. Unbelievable. Sigrid had all that on her plate and she was the one trying to calm her down?

“And you were letting me complain about graduate school and my inability to handle childish gossip!”

“Those things are stressful! You have every right to complain!”

“My life would be a vacation to you!”

“You make it sound so miserable but it’s really not that bad, I promise! I’m only taking one online class right now and it isn’t very demanding, so I’m able to study while I’m at work. Bain and Tilda are both old enough to pretty much handle themselves and yes, work at the hospital is hard and the hours are long, but it’s not like I’m doing it all on my own. Most of the other nurses know my family’s situation and do their best to help me out.”

So maybe Sigrid’s life wasn’t as unmanageable as she thought, but despite her friend’s rationalization, Tauriel’s head was still spinning at the thought of being so busy. “And the training with Ivon?”

“So far, she doesn’t have me doing much else other than strength training and quick escape tactics. It’s hard, but I get to see Fili and it’s been a nice break and good for stress relief. I was a little sore after the first few days, but I’m starting to get used to things.”

Tauriel relaxed slightly, relieved that Sigrid’s life wasn’t too overwhelming for her to handle, but was still baffled at how she wasn’t falling apart. She had barely even noticed when the waiter returned with their checks, which they quickly returned with their payment. “Does Fili know about all of this?”

“He knows that I’m busy, but so is he. He already worries enough about me with everyone chasing us down, I don’t want to give him one more thing to waste his time over.”

“You’re not a waste of time to him Sigrid, he cares about you. He’d want to know about your problems.”

“But they’re not problems, it’s just my life. Fili has to protect me, learn to become a leader for hundreds of people, fight for his life against gangsters every day and try to live a normal life on top of it all. If I can ease his burden by taking on a few extra things so he doesn’t have to worry as much, shouldn’t I?”

Tauriel sat back in awe. She could see why Fili was so enamored with her. Yes she was timid, yes she was a bit naïve, but she doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘obstacle’. She had been joking before, but this girl who had been treated like coal all her life really was made of diamonds. “How?” Tauriel gawked, but Sigrid stared back, not understanding the question. “Don’t look at me like that, you know what I mean. How do you do it all?”

“Somebody has to.” That was her excuse? She could handle endless work and struggle because someone had to so why not her? “Besides, the only thing that’s really been added to my life is Ivon’s training and it’s not so difficult right now.”

“But what about the reason that you’re training?” Sigrid, at last, broke eye contact and fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

“I’m still struggling with that a bit.”

“At least you struggle with something,” Tauriel sighed, hoping to get at least a chuckle out of Sigrid, but her frown remained. “Dammit, I’m sorry. That was unfair of me. Anyone would be terrified in your position.”

“You’re not.”

“That’s not true and even if it was it's not a good thing. I’m calm around conflict, but that doesn’t mean I’m not just as scared as you.”

“But I don’t want to hide anymore,” she argued. “I want to be able to stand up and prove that I can stand by Fili’s side. I don’t want to be afraid to run into danger with everyone.”

“Yes, you do. Running head first into a situation without concern of what may happen to you is not courageous; it’s stupidity. Fear is what stops you from being reckless and keeps you alive. I know that if you ask Fili, he would tell you that he’s terrified when he gets into a fight and so am I.

“When Kili was stabbed, I didn’t attack all of those men because I wanted to prove to him that I could be brave or that I could beat them, I fought them so that we could run away and escape. I’m not fearless, I’ve just learned how to hide it.

“It’s good to be afraid and it is a normal reaction to our situation. Don’t wear yourself out trying to be this unstoppable force, especially if it’s just so Fili doesn’t have to worry as much. Besides, you’re strong enough already.”

“I don't feel that way,” she mumbled.

“You're just starting out. Do you think I've always been able to fight the way I do? That I came into this world with the ability to break bones and knock people to the floor? Or that Fili and Kili knew how to take down ten men at once when they were five?”

“With the way their family is, for all we know they could have,” she laughed. Tauriel suddenly imagined a five-year-old Kili jumping on someone's head to try and fight them and the image had her laughing along.

“Well, they're outliers and don't count! My point is, I didn't even learn how to throw a proper punch until I was eighteen. All of us have had years to learn while you’ve been at it for a few days. So what if you’re a little behind in the learning curve? You've never had a reason to learn how to fight before, but you’re doing something about it now instead of sitting back and letting other people take care of you. Trust me, Sigrid, that's incredibly brave.”

Sigrid’s smile grew and her shoulders dropped, the tension and nerves leaving them. “Thank you Tauriel. For you to say that it really means a lot; more than you could know.”

“Of course,” Tauriel beamed. “You and I are in this together now. We have to look out for each other.”

“Right!”

“And if Ivon’s training is going too slow for your comfort, I’ll be happy to teach you a few quick tips so you don’t always feel like you’re running away.”

“Are you sure? That would be amazing.” The waiter then came back, interrupting one last time to return their cards. They thanked him once more, and he nodded before walking away, crossing paths with the man from earlier. He rubbed his nose, three men at another table immediately stood up and headed for the front door, and Tauriel forgot to breathe for a moment. Sigrid was calmly putting her things away, but Tauriel didn’t move as her mind raced and her heart began to pound in her ears.

“Tauriel?”

“Huh?”

“Are you okay?” Sigrid asked.

“Oh. Yes. Sorry, just thinking.” She couldn’t tell Sigrid that they were in danger, at least not yet. Her reaction might alert anyone else who was still watching them right now. She had to figure out an escape plan.

There would most definitely be people waiting for them at the front and back entrances completely surrounding them. Taking the emergency exit would most likely set off an alarm and draw more attention to them. She could talk to a waitress, tell her that she saw her ex-boyfriend waiting for her outside the restaurant and she didn’t feel safe leaving so they could say and figure out a plan, but then she might call the police and she didn’t want to get them involved. She needed to figure out something fast. There was no way she was going to risk fighting her way through them, not with Sigrid here. There had to be another way out.

“We should really go to the bathroom before leaving,” Tauriel suggested with a tight smile.

“You’re probably right. Which way is it?”

“I think it’s just outside the kitchen. Let’s go.” She quickly gathered her things and tried to move as naturally as she could towards the back of the restaurant. The wait staff hustled around as they catered to the remaining customers, but Tauriel ignored them; no point in getting anyone else involved that didn’t need to be. She looked out a window by the front door and saw one of the men from earlier smoking a cigarette under a lit lamppost. The street was empty and the sky was dark and clouded, no stars to be seen; she hadn’t realized that it had gotten so late. She nearly dropped her coat when the kitchen door flew open in front of her. The waiter apologized for almost hitting her, but she countered that it was her fault for not paying attention. Looking through the door before swung back into place, she looked to see if there were any knives left out that she could grab. If she had to she would give the one in her purse to Sigrid and she would use whatever one she stole herself. She didn’t want to use them at all, but the chances of them escaping quietly with no bloodshed were not looking promising.

She pushed open the door to the restroom and quickly rushed to check the stalls to make sure no one else was in there with them. The heavy smell of cheap air freshener in the small room only served to agitate her further. The moment she saw they were alone, she rushed back to the door and locked it.

“Tauriel?”

“Sigrid, listen closely, we’re being watched.”

“Wha-? H-How do you know?” she stammered.

“A man from the table across from us was giving signals. Once we got our check some guys at another table stood up and immediately left.”

“Are you sure? It could just be a coincidence. I mean, what are the—”

“Sigrid!” Tauriel firmly grasped her friend’s shoulders and looked her in the eyes, the fear evident. This couldn’t be happening, she was thinking. This doesn’t happen. “I don’t have time to explain. Trust me. I know this is hard to hear and it doesn’t seem real, but I need you to stay calm right now, okay? We are in a lot of danger and I have to figure out a way for us to get out safely. We can’t go out the front or back without getting caught and the emergency exits aren’t any good either.” Tauriel let go and began to pace around.

“S-Should we call the police?”

“And risk a shootout with all these bystanders? Besides they wouldn’t get here in time. These men know we're supposed to be leaving any minute now and I can promise you they will not hesitate to come in and drag us out if we wait too long.” Besides, Tauriel was not about to get Legolas and Thranduil involved; no way in hell.

“What about Fili and Kili?”

“If the cops can’t get here in time what makes you think they can?” Tauriel scratched her head frantically; ruining the braid that was now falling out in clumps and she ripped it out without a second thought. She quickly tied it back it to a bun so if they did need to run, they wouldn’t be able to grab her so easily like last time. “We’re obviously bait for them anyways. We’d just be bringing them what they really wanted. At the very least we know they won’t kill us, but we’re on our own here.”

“So then what do we do?” Sigrid trembled, her voice rising. “Can’t you fight them?”

“I have a knife,” she reached into her bag to be sure it was there, comforted when she felt the polished handle the blade was tucked into, “but I don’t know how many guys there are or what weapons they have. If they just have knives I might stand a chance but if they have guns… Dammit. We’re cornered right now; regular fish in a barrel.” Tauriel felt her heart begin to race again as the words left her lips and her anxiety caught in her throat. There had to be a way out that she just wasn’t seeing, there just had to.

“What about the fire escape?”

“I told you we can’t use the emergency exits. The alarms will go off and lead them straight to us!”

“No, no the fire escape!” Sigrid clarified. “This restaurant has more than one floor; the main floor and the offices, I think. If we can get to the second floor, we could go down the fire escape without making too much noise and slip past them, right?”

“Do you know how to even get to…” Tauriel thought back to when she looked into the kitchen. There were no knives in sight, only pots and plates, but there was another door straight through. “The kitchen.”

“Huh?”

“I saw another door in the kitchen. I don’t know where it leads, but if we can sneak past the staff, move quickly enough so that no one sees us, we might be able to get through and at the very least buy us some more time.”

“Are you sure?” Tauriel looked back at Sigrid, her arms wrapped around herself and her knees pushed tight together. She looked small and terrified, and Tauriel couldn’t believe that they were in this mess right now.

“Do you trust me, Sigrid?” Her friend stared back for a moment, surprised by the question, but quickly nodded. “Then trust me to get us out of here. Nothing’s going to happen to us okay? We’re going to get out of here and sleep safely in our own beds tonight, and we will see Fili and Kili in the morning okay?” With a final nod, Tauriel took Sigrid’s hand, unlocked the bathroom door, and peaked outside.

Tauriel’s vision was limited to the kitchen door and a thin sliver of the restaurant that offered little to no information about her surroundings. She couldn’t see if the man watching them before was still there, but the front door was still being guarded. They hung behind the restroom door, waiting for the right moment to move, and Tauriel could feel Sigrid’s hand shaking in hers. Though her heart was still racing and her feet were itching to just make a run for it, she couldn’t let Sigrid know how scared she really was. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if something happened to Sigrid because she couldn’t protect her, if they got captured because she made a stupid mistake, or if Kili got hurt trying to save her because she was too weak to take down a few meat-head gangsters.

A waiter walked through the door into the kitchen and Tauriel squeezed Sigrid’s hand, alerting her to be ready to follow. The moment’s ticked by like hours as they waited, but once the door opened again with the waiter walking out, Tauriel bolted and slipped through before it could swing back and close on them. She didn’t look to see if the cooks were looking their way, she didn’t bother trying to keep her footsteps quiet as they rushed through to the other side, all that mattered was getting through that door on the other side. By some miracle, it wasn’t locked and once Tauriel had cleared the archway, she dragged Sigrid ahead of her and shut the door, looking through the thin glass pane to see if they were noticed. No one called after them, no one followed, the ruckus of the employees desperate to get home dulling their senses to the two women who had just snuck through.

“Come on!” Tauriel whispered harshly as she pulled Sigrid along again, quickly turning up the stairs that were right before them. Sigrid had been right. The second floor of the building had a long hall with offices branching off of it, most likely belonging to the owners or their families, and at the end of the hall was a solitary window leading to a fire escape. Unsure if other people were on the floor, Tauriel pulled Sigrid along as quietly as possible as they scurried to their exit. The window was easy to open, and Tauriel slipped through onto the metal platform as she continued to tug Sigrid along.

They were in an alley now, the rotting smell of a not too distant dumpster reminding them that this was not where they were supposed to be. They should be at home or with their boyfriends, not running for their lives. Tauriel looked over at the rusted latter and decided it wasn’t worth risking the noise to slide it down. Her hands gripped the cold safety rail and she jumped over the side, tucking and rolling as she hit the ground and brushed her hands clean of dirty water before inspecting for injuries. She looked back up to Sigrid who made no motion to follow.

“Come on!” Tauriel called up still keeping her voice to a harsh whisper.

“I-I can’t,” Sigrid shook. “I can’t make that jump, it’s too high.” Dammit, those goons could come around the corner any minute.

“Yes you can,” Tauriel encouraged. “I’ll catch you. Just climb over the ledge, slide down the bars, tuck your knees to your chest, and let go.”

“Are you sure you can catch me?”

“Yes,” she lied. “Now hurry, we don’t have time!” Still trembling, Sigrid carefully climbed over the rail and crouched as Tauriel moved under to prepare to catch her. One foot dangled off the edge, then the other as her body slowly moved lower until Tauriel could touch Sigrid’s shoes with her fingertips. “Okay, now pull your legs in a little and let go.” Doing as she was told, Sigrid let out a small squeak as she dropped and fell into Tauriel’s arms bridal style. Her arms stung from the impact and she quickly rubbed away the aches after carefully setting her friend’s feet safely on the ground.

“Are you okay?” Sigrid asked full of concern.

“I’m fine. Dammit, how do cheerleaders make that look so easy? We need to keep moving. Stay close.” Once again taking Sigrid’s hand, Tauriel kept her back to the wall as they moved towards the street and peeked around the corner. The three men from inside stood casually outside the front of the restaurant and there was no one else on the street, not a single witness or bystander to help them or get in their way. Tauriel had to assume there were just as many lurking around the back that could spot them at any moment.

“What now?”

“You ready for that crash course in self-defense I offered before?” Tauriel asked without looking back.  
Sigrid let out a gasp. “I don’t know if—”

“No matter what, always keep your arms up,” she began. “Don’t forget that. You won’t be able to dodge every hit, but you can make sure the hits don’t land in vital areas. Protect your head, neck, and core. A broken arm is bad but a broken rib is worse.”

“A broken—!”

“You’re elbows and knees are two of the hardest points of your body, use those to hit someone if you have to since you don’t know how to punch yet. Aim for the face, groin, and knees. Don’t worry about hurting them because they’re not worried about hurting you. Don’t focus too much or over think your attacks, just hit and move. If at any moment you see a chance for you to get out of there, take it. Run as far away as you can.”

“But what about you?”

“You run away!” Tauriel repeated as she whipped her head around to face her. Fear painted Sigrid’s face and her free hand clutched her chest. She hadn’t meant to scare her, but she needed Sigrid to see how serious this was. “We are not trying to fight them right now, we want to escape! Sticking around when you don’t know how to properly fight will only make things worse. Promise me right now that if you have a chance to run, you will run.”

“Tauriel…”

“Promise!” A moment of silence passed between them.

“Okay,” she sobbed. “I promise.” Guilt washed over Tauriel and settled in her chest, but she swallowed it down and turned back to the men who were still waiting.

“Okay, here’s the plan. We are going to walk out of here away from them. Don’t run, don’t jog, don’t power walk; just walk. Once we get at least three blocks away—”

“Hey!”

“Shit!” The two women bolted from the alley and down the street without looking back and attempted to outrun the voices chasing them. Knowing she could run faster, Tauriel held tight to Sigrid’s hand so she wouldn’t get left behind.

So they ran with no destination in mind, just trying to keep ahead of the men following them and praying they didn’t run into any dead ends. Now what were they going to do? If they stopped to call someone, they’d be caught. If they kept running much longer, they would get tired and still be caught. It would take a miracle to save them now. Tauriel chanced a glance behind her to see that a few of the men were no longer following them on foot, but in a car, most likely trying to drive ahead to corner them somewhere. Her mind was racing faster than her feet pounding on the ground, faster than her heart drumming in her chest, for some sort of option of what to do. They rounded a corner, nearly losing grip of each other’s hands from how sweaty they had become and suddenly Tauriel found the miracle she had prayed for.

They were heading for the state park where towering trees and masterful gardens had been planted and well tended to. Surrounding this garden was a tall black aluminum fence that would take some time to climb over, but the main gate was open. Even if they couldn’t lock it behind them to slow their pursuers down, they still might be able to find some cover and hide long enough to escape. On the other hand, if they couldn’t find an open exit on the other side, they may end up trapping themselves in a cage like scared rabbits.

“This way!” Tauriel ordered. Despite the risk, their best option was to find cover, perhaps even come up with a plan and give Sigrid a chance to rest. Even if they did get caught, at least they might have some time to contact their boyfriends and make it easier to find them. Upon reaching the gate, Tauriel halted to a stop, whipping Sigrid around so she was inside first as Tauriel grabbed onto the gate, pulling with all her strength and forced it closed with a loud, rusty screech and crash. It didn’t bounce back open when metal door smashed beside its twin and Tauriel was satisfied enough to take the lead again and pull Sigrid along the gravel road.

“We need to find the exit!” Tauriel called back to Sigrid. “We may have slowed them down, but were stuck in here with them once they climb over!”

“Take the nature trail!” Sigrid answered back, her voice labored and short. “It’s hard to get through, but they might not see us through the trees and it leads to the south gate!” Trusting that her friend knew what she was talking about, Tauriel made a sharp turn onto the narrow dirt path and kept moving. The dense trees above darkened their path, slowing them as they attempted to avoid roots and stones popping out of the ground, but still found themselves fumbling along the way. Twigs and leaves whipped at their faces and branches scratched their arms and legs, but they never let go of each other. Tauriel couldn’t hear the men following them anymore, but she didn’t want to risk stopping to find out where they were.

At long last, the path began to clear and Tauriel thought she could see the gate. All they had to do now was get on the other side of the fence, find a random building or store to hide in and call Fili and Kili to get them. Soon they would be home free and—

Tauriel’s hands collided with the gate and it didn’t budge, causing the rest of her body to crash into it as the black bars shook and screeched, laughing at their despair.

“Dammit!” Tauriel swore in pain. Perhaps it was too much to ask for two doors to be open for them. She frantically looked around for some alternative to lifting Sigrid over the fence and risking injury. They couldn’t go back the way they came, and now that they were on the main road again, they were out in the open.

“Oh no! Are you alright?” Sigrid asked.

“I’m fine. We have to keep moving,” she pressed. Yanking Sigrid around again, Tauriel turned back and ran down a new path to see if they could find another way out. She could feel Sigrid slowing down behind her and she wasn’t going to last much longer herself. She’d have to come up with a plan soon or—

“Taur!” The sound of Sigrid’s shout brought her attention to the man about to take a swing at her only a few feet away. She quickly ducked and attempted to strike at his groin, but missed and instead jabbed him in his abdomen. The man staggered back but didn’t drop and Tauriel quickly placed herself between him and Sigrid.

Their detour through the trail had been a risk that hadn’t paid off. It had slowed them down too much and now three men had finally caught up, surrounding them like wolves. Tauriel knew Sigrid didn’t have it in her to run anymore and her own chest was heaving, lungs on fire and blood pounding in her ears as her heart tried to escape from her ribcage. She was tired, but so were these men, so perhaps she had a fighting chance.

Letting go of Sigrid’s hand, she charged at the men, praying that even if she got hurt or captured that at least her friend could get away. Her fist smashed into a jaw. Her knee found a rib. Every opening she could spot she went after. She will fight until her heart stopped beating, she won't give in without hurt them first, she—

Sigrid’s cry pulled her away and she gazed on in horror at the sight of the one man she had not been fighting wrapping his arm around Sigrid’s neck and pulling her back with him. She began to reach for her bag.

“Don’t even think about it girly.” The man holding a now tearful Sigrid pulled out a gun from behind him and didn’t even need to point it at anyone to make Tauriel freeze in her tracks which was all the men behind her needed to grab onto her arms and hold them back. They twisted her wrists painfully to deter her from trying to break free. “Just come easy and we won’t have to hurt you.”

“And what do you call this?” Tauriel snapped and the man with the gun laughed back at her.

“So long as we don’t do anything permanent to ya, they’ll be no trouble for us.”

“Trust me,” she hissed. “They’ll be plenty of trouble for you if you don’t let us go.”

“Not from where I stand,” he grinned. He pointed the gun at Tauriel and her heart leaped into her throat.

And then a shot rang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR I HAVEN'T ABANDONED THIS FIC!!!  
> So I won't go into all the excuses of why I haven't been posting, who really cares about that, but I promise this fic is far from over so I hope you continue to enjoy!  
> P.S. You can all thank Sno_WhiteQueen for bugging me relentlessly about putting this up.


	24. Getting Heated - Kili

“What the hell was that? You didn’t hit anyone!” Kili fumed.

“It’s called a warning shot!”

Fili growled. “You wanted to give these assholes a warning?”

“I don’t have a clear shot!” Legolas snapped back to both of them.

“Tsk! Maybe you don’t,” Kili snarked. Even as the cop and brothers bickered, they never looked at each other or lowered their weapons away from the men before them. Sigrid was clutching at the arm that was wrapped around her neck to keep her in place and not far from her, Tauriel had her hands pinned behind her back, fighting against the men trying to push her to the ground, but they stopped when they realized Legolas had a lock on them. Fili and Kili were ready to blow the gunman’s brains out. 

A few moments earlier, Kili and Fili had been lounging in their apartment when Legolas called to ask if Tauriel was there since she wasn’t at her apartment or answering her phone. Fili called Bard about Sigrid and was told the two girls were out to dinner but should be home by now. When they realized how late it was, the three of them panicked and headed straight for town. 

Fili drove with white knuckles while Kili furiously loaded his and his brother’s guns, terrified that something had happened, that they were too late. He tried to call Tauriel again, praying that maybe they were completely overreacting and that everything was fine, but when she didn’t pick up his optimism fizzled away. They found themselves driving behind Legolas, both cars speeding and screeching into town and disregarding the few cars still on the road. As Kili called Legolas again to try and figure out a plan, he saw a flash of red hair down an ally being followed towards the park and the cars circled around to the other side.

Before Fili had even stopped at the fence, Kili had leaped out of the car and headed for the gate, scaling it and jumping to the ground with ease as his brother and Legolas followed with weapons in hand. With every trail and path leading to darkness, they were unsure where to go until the sound of Sigrid shouting guided them. Now they stood across from three men holding two young women hostage, and all Kili could see was the gun pointed at Tauriel and the joy in her eyes at the sight of him.

“Fili!” Sigrid whimpered. She struggled against the arm around her neck, but she couldn’t budge.

“You alright, Sig?” Fili called back, voice tight and teeth clenched and she nodded. Kili knew that his brother was near the boiling point and quite frankly, so was he. Why the _fuck_ had Legolas set off a warning shot? His sister has a gun pointed at her and he decided to let them know they were here? This is why nothing ever got done in this city. Damn cop just had to play by the rules.

A smile crept across the gunman's face. “Ah! And the princes come out to play. How kind of you to join us. You’ve actually saved me some work now, though I’m curious as to why you’ve brought a dog with you.”

Legolas gripped his gun tighter. “Let the women go and put your weapon down on the ground." If Kili could spare even a second to break his gaze he would have rolled his eyes. Did he really think that was going to work?

“Oh, I don’t think so." The man laughed as he tightened his grip on Sigrid, and a sob hitching from her throat as she clawed for enough space to escape, or at least breathe. “Run along home to daddy. This doesn’t concern puppies.”

“This is your final warning! Drop your weapon and come quietly!”

“Or what? You’ll shoot me? You said so yourself; you don’t have a clear shot.” 

Kili thought he heard his brother say something, or utter some inhuman sound deep from within his chest. This needed to end fast before someone’s temper got the better of them. “Well you must be deaf cause if you were really listening, you’d know I do,” he growled. “And if you even breathe in the wrong direction a bullet is going straight between your eyes.” 

This time all three men laughed, but Kili didn’t flinch. He remained locked in place, eye’s narrowed on target, breathing slow and controlled. His fingers didn’t even twitch or shake despite the rage building inside of him. “Now, now,” the gunman soothed. “There’s no need for anyone to get violent here.”

“Says the man holding two women hostage.”

“All we ask is that you come along with us for a short ride. Azog just wants to have a little chat and then we can all just forget this ever happened.”

“You know you’re right, you do tend to forget a lot of things when you have a hole in your frontal lobe.”

“Kili, I swear to gods if you shoot I will arrest you,” Legolas warned.

“Come on, Legolas, don't be a fucking buzzkill. Why not loosen the leash a little, huh? Maybe look the other way if you have to.” He was well within his rights to shoot this asshole dead, and Legolas was only holding him back. 

“Kili,” Tauriel rasped out to him. She struggled one more time to get free but the two men wouldn’t let go. “Don’t be stupid! You’re the one they want, so just get out of here and let Lego handle this.”

“I can’t do that Taur,” he promised. “Not with your life on the line. Unless he drops his weapon and does what the cop says, he’s just a dead body waiting to hit the ground.”

“Ha!” the man boomed as he pulled Sigrid closer to him. “You really think you have it in you?” Kili gave the man a smirk as he tightened his grip on his gun. 

This time, the sound that left Fili was a laugh. “He must be new."

“I know right?” his brother added. “He’s gotta be.”

“He thinks you can’t make the shot.”

“I can totally make the shot.”

“You can’t make any shot,” the man stated confidently.

“Well I’d like to prove you wrong if you don’t mind,” Kili grinned back.

“Kili,” Legolas hissed again.

“What? No body’s gonna miss this son of a bitch. One less asshole in the world. You should be begging me to take him out.”

“You can’t kill him Kili!”

“Oh, is that the only problem? Well then.” A slight twist. A small adjustment. A single second.

Bang.

Kili pulled the trigger as the bodies around him began to scramble. The sudden sound caused shouts of terror to escaped from Sigrid and Tauriel. Curses of ‘Oh shit he actually shot’ ran with the two men who let Tauriel go and were now racing towards the exit with Legolas on their heels. Fili sprinted forward and tore Sigrid away to safety in a swift moment. The remaining man dropped his gun and fell to his knees, screaming and cursing in pain as he looked through the bloody hole in his forearm like it was a peephole. 

Kili reached out his arm, catching Tauriel as she ran into his chest, but he didn’t lower his weapon or look away. It was too early to let his guard down. 

“Taur! Are you okay?” he asked frantically, holding her closer than he even thought possible.

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” she chanted, still out of breath and clinging to him for dear life. She wrapped her arms around his neck and the sound of her fighting for air echoed in his ears.

“You’re sure? They didn’t hurt you?” Depending on her answer, his trigger finger might grow a mind of its own.

“I’m okay, I swear." Damn. He was hoping to take the squealing bastard out now, but now that he wasn't a threat, Legolas really could arrest him if he wanted. Mahal know's Thranduil would like nothing more. 

"We need to stay here and wait for Legolas to come back so he can take care of... that." He gestured toward the man who was still screaming on the ground. Gods, would he just shut up already? It was just his forearm. It wasn't like he was gonna lose it or anything.

"Kili," Tauriel gasped. "You just shot someone!”

“He’ll live, unfortunately.” He holstered his gun and quickly glanced to see that his brother and Sigrid were alright. They were both still standing, so he finally looked Tauriel in the eyes. 

“How did you do that?”

“I knew he wouldn’t shoot you and risk shooting the two idiots holding you, he was too green for that.”

“No, I mean you hit him right in the middle of his forearm. From that distance with such a small target and other people around, the accuracy that requires…” 

“I told you I had a shot.” She scowled at him, wanting him to explain more, but he didn’t go any further than that. He couldn’t tell her about all the work he’d put into perfecting his aim. The hours he’s spent mastering every firearm he could from glocks to M24s. No way. His world was a dangerous hole to fall into, one that was impossible to climb out of. Somehow, he’d find a way to keep her close to him yet as far away from that edge as possible, but right now he couldn’t worry about that.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Fili stalk over to the bleeding man on the ground, kicking him in the chest so that he fell onto his back; dirt and dust flying everywhere. The screaming stopped for a moment and shifted to violent coughing. 

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Fili growled looking down at the man. “A stray kitten who thought he could take on a lion?”

“Fili,” his brother said. The man tried to get away, hissing and grunting in pain as he crawled back on his elbows, but Fili followed him like a shadow.

“You think just because you’re ‘associated’ with Azog that you’ll be protected? Well, where is he? Where are your little buddies? Too busy running away to have your back?”

“Ah! Fucking shit man! What—Ahhh!” Fili dug his heel into the man’s gunshot wound, forcing gravel and dirt into his flesh. The man tried to shove Fili off of him, but he wouldn’t budge. “Fuck! Get the fuck off me!”

“You should have known better than to pick a fight with a Durin.” The man’s cries of agony continued as Fili twisted his heel harder down. “You’re just a pup who thought he could take a pack of wolves. How fucking dare you lay your filthy hands on her! I should—” 

“Fili!” He heard this time and looked at Kili with dark eyes that were not his own. Kili had seen those eyes only a few times before. They came out when his brother had passed the point of being angry, when something he cared for was threatened. This rage he held inside of him made him a fierce Durin; one that would receive great honor for his unparalleled strength, power, and will. Were they still in danger, he would have been able to lead a damn army of men to victory, but the battle was over now and there was no need to keep fighting. 

“Go take care of Sigrid,” Kili said firmly.

The sound of her name suffocated the burning fury Fili felt as his expression snapped into panic. Sigrid had not been physically harmed but was she alright? How could he have left her? He lifted his bloodied shoe off the man and rushed back over to Sigrid, who was still trembling and fighting back sobs. With his brother now calm again, Kili went back to the woman in his arms. She was safe now. She wasn’t going to die. Now he had to make sure she understood why this could never happen again.

“Kili, I’m so—”

“What the hell were you thinking?” he yelled. Just like his brother, he couldn’t contain his anger anymore and it exploded from him. “I can understand why Sigrid wasn’t watching her back cause she doesn’t know any better yet, but you of all people should know how dangerous it is around this time of night!” 

Tauriel took a step back, surprised by his outburst, but then quickly regained her ground and stood tall. She shoved herself away from him, staring him down with fire in her eyes. “Are you kidding me? Do we seriously have to have this conversation again? I can take care of myself, Kili!”

“Oh yes, you were doing a fine job just now weren’t you?”

“What could I have done right there? He had a gun to Sigrid!”

“Exactly! You can fight but she can’t! It’s dangerous enough for normal people to be out here, but you are literally being _hunted_ down! What wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t found you?”

“I would have figured something out!” Tauriel defended and her voice grew in volume. She threw her arms up in the air and began to pace back and forth in front of him. “Gods I can’t believe this! How the hell did you even find us? What, were you spying on me? Keeping tabs on me like Legolas does? I thought you were better than that! I thought you understood that I wasn’t a victim anymore and yet here you are belittling me!”

“Oh no, don’t you fucking turn this around and blame me! I had no clue where you were! Legolas called me asking if I knew because he didn’t and we were fucking lucking enough to find you. I warned you that it was dangerous to be with me and you chose to stay, so you can’t do this anymore!”

“Do what? Live my life? Do things that I want to do? Hang out with friends and have a nice dinner? I’m not a damsel in distress Kili!”

“I never said you were! Don’t you get it?”

“Get what?” she screamed.

“I could have lost you!” His voice cracked and whatever Tauriel had been about to say had gotten caught in her throat. 

He could have lost her. Those words echoed in his mind again. And again. He could feel himself deflating, the rage that had burst from his body now caving his chest in, suffocating him. What would have happened if he hadn’t found her in time?

“Kili?”

“I called you…” he forced out, eyes now burning with tears that threatened to fall. “And you didn’t answer.” 

Her eyes went wide and she frantically searched through her bag for her phone and pulled it out, tapping at the button and the screen to wake it. “It’s dead,” she whispered. 

Kili brought his hands to his face, rubbing away the exhaustion before taking a deep breath. “Listen to me. Not long ago, Legolas _did_ ask me to keep an eye on you for him and I said no.”

She couldn't find her words for a moment. “You did?”

“I told him I wasn’t going to babysit you because you’ve worked hard to prove that you can take care of yourself, but you have to actually use what you’ve learned! Just because you’re wearing a bulletproof vest, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still try to get out of the way of a bullet. These guys who are coming after you, coming after us, they’re not going to be random thugs who think they can overpower you. They are trained to kill you and you need to take extra precautions now.”

“But these guys were nothing,” Tauriel tried to defend as she gestured to the man still recovering on the ground. Legolas was on his way back, dragging one of the men who had been holding Tauriel before to sit by his partner. The other one must have gotten away. “If they hadn’t had a gun I could have taken them.”

“But they did Tauriel! These men were bottom tear grunts who were probably just after Sigrid so yes, you probably could have fought them and even won, but you can’t think like that! You are being hunted because you’re with me. I’m not going to tell you what choices to make or that you have to tell me where you are every second, but you have to at least think things through! Call me if you need help! If something happened to you tonight, it… it would have killed me. I would have—”

“—Don't you finish that thought!” Tauriel pled, a slight break hitting her voice. She too was now beginning to tear up as she began to understand just what happened. She reached out and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers with his. “You're right and I'm sorry. I was acting like nothing had changed so I was careless."

"Yes. You were."

"I handled the last fight we were in so I just thought..." she swallowed her tears and squeezed his hand tighter. "I messed up I know, but I'm still adjusting okay? There’s a bit of a learning curve I have to go through so, please… I’m sorry.” 

Kili let out a sigh of relief. Thank Mahal she understood. “You're right. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I overreacted a little, but I was just so terrified that… that you were...”

“Shh,” she hushed, pulling him into her arms. “It was a close call, but I'm okay. We're all okay.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, relishing the feeling of her physical presence as he held her. He could hear the sound of her breathing, feel her arms around him. They were okay tonight. 

A sudden cough made them pull apart as Legolas stood waiting for them. “Kili. What the hell was that?”

“Um, haven’t you ever seen a hug before?”

“You shot a man after I specifically told you not to!”

Kili could feel his anger spiking again as he and the officer stood before each other. “Gods, here we go with this shit again. You weren’t doing anything! You were just giving warnings and stalling!”

“I was following protocol and trying to de-escalate the situation! You shot a man with civilians present!”

“What are you going to do? Arrest me?” 

“He can’t,” Tauriel cut in. She put her hands on their chests and pushed them apart so she could stand between them. “There was a perceived threat to my life and after not complying with officer orders, it was perfectly legal for Kili to shoot him. Hell, he had every right to kill him if he wanted!”

Legolas pushed her hand off of him. “He could have killed someone, Tauriel! He could have killed you!”

“But he didn’t! Yes, this situation could have been far worse but this is where we are now so this is what we have to deal with! No one is dead and now you’re going to do your job and take those assholes to jail!”

“Tauriel!”

“I’m okay, Legolas!” she shouted to him. His shoulders dropped and the scowl on his face disappeared. “I’m okay, see?” 

“Tauriel… Tauriel!” It only took a second for Legolas to take his sister into his arms and hug her. She rubbed his back as he held her tight, both of them relieved that neither of them had been harmed. As pissed off as he was at the officer, Kili knew that he had been just as afraid for Tauriel as he was and decided not to spoil their reunion. He watched as the god-siblings embraced each other and looked to find his own sibling was still holding Sigrid who had finally calmed down. Disaster had been avoided, at least for tonight. 

“Legolas,” Tauriel began as she separated from her brother’s embrace. “Promise me you’ll keep Thranduil out of this?”

“He’s going to see the arrest report Taur,” he frowned, “but I’ll do my best to keep him off your back about it.”

Kili let out an exhaused sigh and reached his hand out to Tauriel who grabbed it without hesitation. He was so tired, he couldn't imagine how she was feeling. “Come on Taur. I’ll take you home.”

“Ki,” Fili interrupted, his voice short and sharp. He looked at his brother to see him scowling in the darkness and as he following his line of sight. Kili watched through the gate as a black car drove away into the night.

“You see that?” Fili asked. The humming of the car became more distant, but they could all still feel its presence. 

“Yeah.” What a sadistic bastard.

“What?” Sigrid began to look in the same direction the brothers had. “What is it?”

“Smaug.” Fili growled. “He was watching us.”

“He was _here_?” she gasped and clung to Fili’s shirt.

“Probably heading off to report to Azog now.” Kili clenched his fist and wanted to chase after that car so he could shoot out the tires and beat the shit out of that son of a bitch, but Tauriel’s hand on his shoulder stopped him from moving.

“We’ll get him,” she promised. “Somehow we’ll get them both.” Her words provided him with little comfort, but they would have to do for now. The fact of the matter was that as long as Azog and Smaug were working together, no one would be safe anytime soon.


	25. Letting Go - Fili

After the night Sigrid and Tauriel had almost been kidnapped, Fili thought for sure that Sigrid would be a wreck. He was terrified that she was going to decide that enough was enough and that he wasn’t worth the risk anymore so it would be safer if she just left him. 

He stopped by Ivon’s penthouse the next day to find her already there in the training room Aule had once used for his students, learning how to throw a proper punch. After talking with her father, she was able to cut her working hours and give them to her brother so he could earn some of his own money. She could now spend that time with Ivon and work on building her strength and skill. She knew she would never be as good as Fili, or even Tauriel, but that wasn’t going to stop her from trying and Fili felt his heart swell with pride. 

They continued to train together, not against each other, but in the same space. Fili would keep his skills sharp by sparing with Radagast while Ivon gave Sigrid private instruction. Fili did what he could to support Sigrid, encouraging her to finish five more minutes, hanging back with her as she recovered her breath, giving her water every chance he had, but Ivon made sure he still kept his distance for the most part. She couldn’t have him distracting her after all. 

Fili attempted a quick jab and missed as Radagast came around to hit his head, but was blocked. Despite the man’s age, he was rather fast and difficult to follow. By the end of the workout, he was always exhausted and ready to crash into his bed, but it was still nothing compared to the spars he had with his brother. Even though Fili always won, their matches would leave them both out of commission for a day or two so they could recover from their bruises. 

Fili swept his leg under but Radagast jumped up into the air like a rabbit and moved to strike again. It was rare for Fili to get a hit on this man, but it was great practice for defensive strategy. He quickly noticed an opening and stuck the elder straight in his chest, causing him to stumble back a few steps. 

“Wonderfully done… Master Fili,” Radagast gasped as he held his chest. The two of them stopped for a moment so the older man could recover his breath. “I truly though… I had you… for a moment there.” 

“You’re slipping in your old age,” Fili laughed. His shirt clung to his skin uncomfortably from the sweat he’d accumulated after a few hours of working out, so he quickly removed it and tossed it on the floor before stretching his arm across his body. “Soon enough, Kili might be able to win a few rounds from you.” 

“Now there’s no need to be rude,” Radagast straightened. The two began to go at it again. Fili searched for an opening as he blocked blow after blow, but the man kept his speed up and left no room for error. A hard block, a missed jab, Fili was growing tired quickly; he had to find a way to get Radagast to lose his footing. 

“Gah!” A sudden shout and the sound of a body hitting the floor made Fili’s heart stop and head whip around to find what happened. 

“Sig! Ack!” The next thing he knew, Fili found himself flat on his back looking at the ceiling. His chest was throbbing from being kicked, and he groaned as he rubbed the back of his head where it smacked against the mat. He looked around to find that Sigrid was also on the ground, wincing as she tried to pry herself up. He quickly turned back to Radagast who now stood directly above him as he leaned down towards the young heir and smiled. 

“And that’s why you respect your elders.” 

“Ah fuck off,” Fili whined as he stood up. 

“Don’t be frustrated with me because you’re thinking with the wrong head.” Fili tried to take another swing, this time for the old man’s face but missed when Radagast stood straight back up. He hoped that Sigrid hadn’t heard that. 

“Temper Fili,” Ivon interrupted. “I can’t have you taking out my right-hand man, especially when it was your own fault you were hit. You should know better than to get distracted.” Fili held his tongue as he stood and rolled his shoulders back. He rubbed the ache away from his chest as he watched Sigrid return to her feet with no issue. 

“Do you require any ice or medical assistance, Master Fili?” Radagast asked. 

“No, I’m alright,” he grumbled. “Thank you.” 

“And that goes for you as well,” Ivon added as she turned to Sigrid who let out a small gasp in surprise. “While you are training with me I expect you to be focused, so you need to learn to keep out distractions. You may ogle my grandson all you like outside of my lessons, but keep your mind out of the gutter while you’re in this room.” Sigrid’s face turned crimson and Fili turned to hide his grin from her. He had distracted her, had he? 

“I understand Ma’am—Lady Ivon!” she corrected, face still red. 

The older woman let out a sigh and crossed her arms. “That’ll do for today. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning, so get some rest. You too Fili.” Without another word, she headed for the door with Radagast quickly following behind her. 

Taking the opportunity while he had it, Fili carefully crept behind Sigrid when she wasn’t looking. “So did you enjoy the view?” he teased and she jumped at how unexpectedly close he was. 

“Fili! I—uh—you—!” He didn’t think it would be possible for her to blush any harder, but here she was proving him wrong. It seemed as if she couldn’t make up her mind as her gaze flipped from his chest to the floor to his stomach to the wall. 

He chuckled at her embarrassment and smiled. “You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed, you know that?” 

“S-Shut up!” 

“Haha! Don't let my grandmother get to you. We are dating, after all. You're allowed to look.” He walked away to give her a chance to recover and grab his water. He chugged it down and set it on the bench again, trying to imagine the expression she was making behind him, but jumped slightly when he suddenly felt her fingers run over a small patch of uneven skin on his shoulder. 

“Fili…” she whispered. 

“Yeah.” 

“How did you get this?” 

Lie to her, he thought. “Ki stabbed me with a stick while we were fake sword fighting when we were little.” 

She came around to face him without removing her hand and glared at him. “Unless you’ve forgotten my occupation, you know that I know a GSW when I see one Fili.” 

“Well then you know how I got it.” 

“Fi…” 

“Sig.” He didn’t want to get into it. He didn’t want to bring up how seriously he had been hurt before, how often he had been hurt. He didn’t want to scare her more than she already was. He didn’t want to lose her. They looked at each other in silence for a moment before Sigrid brought her gaze back to the small wound and grazed her fingers over it. 

“Does it still hurt?” 

“Only when I look at it.” She gave him a curious expression and realized that the wound was a through and through, the other scar resting just above his collarbone. She didn’t say anything as her fingers continued to roam and leave soft touches over the rest of his body as she searched for more scars. Every time she ran her fingers over one, the memories of how he got them flashed back. Small cut’s from knife fights, scratches from falling out of trees, grazes from other bullets. Her hands brushed across the hairs on his chest, stopping flat in the center as she closed her eyes, feeling for his heartbeat. It was so strange, this feeling. Her soft touch scared him yet he wanted to be closer, to pull her into him. 

“You have so many." Her voice brought him back. “They’re small and hard to see, but they’re all there. Some of them are so serious.” 

“Not all of them are from fighting.” 

“But most of them are.” It wasn’t a question, so he didn’t answer. He just brushed the back of his fingers across her cheek before cupping it. “Fili…” 

“Yeah?” 

“I wish you didn’t have to hurt so much.” 

Those words alone caused pain to grip his chest as he pulled her close, still looking into her eyes. “I would receive one hundred more scars if it meant I could spare you from even one.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

“I mean it.” 

“I know you do, but don’t say it. I don’t want you getting hurt because of me.” 

“Ideally, neither of us would get hurt, but that’s not the world we live in.” 

She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. Fili felt something familiar stir inside of him. Something he’d felt before but couldn't quite place. “I promise I’ll get stronger for you.” 

“Sig…” 

“For me too,” she added. “I’m not going to let what happened last week stop me. If I can stop you from getting hurt too, I’m going to do it because you mean so much to me Fili. You—” 

His lips on hers quickly cut her off. This woman was beyond comprehension and she was his; all his. Her arms moved up, wrapping around his neck to pull him closer and his hands glided down to her hips, holding her against him. His tongue ran across her lips lightly to test and she opened her mouth to him, deepening the kiss. She soon pulled away, a small gasp escaping and with that sound, Fili realized what the feeling was that he had. He only had to look into her heavy eyes to see that she felt it too. 

Hunger. He was hungry for her. He dove for her lips again, tongue thrusting into her mouth as hers began to dance with him. Quiet gasps and sighs escaped her as she fought to keep up with him, but he gave her no ground. She had been watching him before, wanted him just moments ago. Now she was in his arms, and he wanted her too. Mahal he could just feel it down to his core. 

He quickly, but carefully, took a step, and then another, and another, forcing her to move with him until her back was against the cold wall. His body pinned her there with only her shirt separating her breast from his pounding chest. All he could hear was the sound of his own heart in his ears and her soft whimpers encouraging him to give her more. His hands left her hips and snaked their way under her shirt, palms feeling for every inch of skin they could find from her back to her breast. She shifted and twisted at his touch, hips rolling forward into his and causing a moan to let loose from his throat. She pulled back as far as the wall would allow her, panting for air as her fingers tangled into his hair before diving back in to taste more. His hands continued to move down her sides to squeeze her ass and force a surprised gasp out of her. Then he moved to her thighs until he hoisted her up off the floor, her legs reflexively wrapping around his waist and pulling him close as he began to grind his hips into hers, making sure she could feel every part of him. She rolled her head away and let out a strangled moan, fingers now digging into his back as he continued to move against her slowly, torturously. Now no longer able to reach her lips, he began to devour her neck and paint along her salted skin with his mouth. She moaned again, louder this time as his tongue glided along the length of her neck. Her hips rolled to match his thrusts again and again and she couldn’t say anything but his name over and over. 

“Eh-hm.” Fili snapped out of his trance. Sigrid was still in his arms but trying to push herself away now that they had been discovered. He had his hands locked around her waist though and wasn’t about to let her out of his grasp after that. Quickly he realized that he had let his mind run far, far away from him. That hadn’t really happened. They were still just standing on the floor together, far away from the wall. The last thing he remembered happening for sure was her kissing him back after she’d accepted his tongue diving into her mouth. Mahal this woman was going to be the death of him in one way or another. 

“I thought you both were level-headed enough that I wouldn’t have to spell this rule out for you,” Ivon drawled as she stood in the doorway. “But since you can’t seem to keep your hands out of each other’s pants let me make this crystal clear: the training room is for training only; no ogling, no making out, and most definitely no sex.” Sigrid opened her mouth to say something, but her words were caught in her throat and nothing came out. 

“Really, Ivon? We’re doing this?” Fili accused. He couldn’t believe this. His grandmother brought a whole new meaning to the phrase 'boner killer'. 

“Apparently we need to.” As she started to walk towards them, Sigrid buried her face in her hands and then into Fili’s chest. Ivon stopped in front of the couple and gave a small smile as she cocked her head slightly. 

“It’s not like we were going to do anything!” 

“Oh no?” Her expression was smug now, as if she had known what he had been fantasizing before and had caught him in the middle of the act itself. “Well, regardless of your ‘intentions’, my statement still stands. You may go at each other all you like, partaking in some fun in the elevator for all I care, but nothing of the sort shall occur in my home. Have I made myself clear, Darlings?” Sigrid quietly nodded but refused to look at her teacher. 

“Yeah, yeah. I wouldn’t want to do anything in my grandmother’s house anyway.” 

“Uh huh,” her smile grew. “Well, as I said before, training is done for today. Off you go then.” Fili reluctantly allowed Sigrid out of his grip and she quickly gathered her things without a word, too embarrassed to say anything. His body ached for her to return to him, but he knew it probably wouldn’t happen anytime soon. 

As he turned to gather up his shirt, Sigrid followed close behind; closer than he thought she would as their arms brushed together and the backs of her fingers hovered by his. Despite not actually pinning her against the wall with the intent of making her melt a few moments ago, they had shared their most intense kiss yet and he was worried that he might have scared her a bit. It would seem that even though she didn’t quite have the confidence to look him in the eyes at the moment, she was still very much okay with what just happened. What he would give to be in her mind right now. 

“If you could actually stay for a moment, Fili?” Ivon requested. Fili stopped in his tracks, looked up to the ceiling, and let out an annoyed groan. He should have known she wasn’t going to let him off that easy. Sigrid grabbed his hand, but he wasn’t sure why. “Won’t take longer than a clock tick.” 

“I’ll meet you downstairs okay?” he smiled at her. She gave a small nod and moved to kiss him, but thought better of it and quickly made her way to the door, her hand lingering in his for as long as possible. He watched her back as she walked away, and received a smack to the back of the head once she was out the door. 

“Ow!” 

“You were ogling,” Ivon explained. 

“Okay, can you not use that word?” 

“If you insist.” 

“What do you want?” Fili sighed. He grabbed his shirt from the floor and headed back for his bag to switch it out for a clean one. Ivon stood tall and made no movements as he passed her. 

“I expected Sigrid to have some difficulty training and transitioning from a life of comfort to one of war, yet she has shown remarkable resolve, particularly after last week’s events.” Fili smiled, proud that Sigrid managed to impress his grandmother so much. “However, the decline of your abilities is cause for concern and if you cannot correct it, I will have to ask you to stop attending our training sessions.” 

“Decline in my abilities?” Fili fumed as he yanked his clean shirt down over himself. “You can’t be serious!” 

“It’s not difficult to tell that your stamina has decreased. You’re not getting enough sleep are you?” 

“In case you’ve forgotten, we’re being actively hunted now! I’m going to be working overtime to keep safe and plan with Thorin. Plus, I have work and Kili to take care of on top of it!” 

“And Sigrid to keep you awake at night?” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Fili growled. Of course he was going to stay up late worrying and checking up on her. She doesn’t know how to fight and doesn’t have the same protection he does. 

“Your combat skills have weakened as well,” she continued unfazed by her grandson’s anger. “Radagast was able to strike you multiple times today.” 

“He’s your personal assistant! It’s not like he’s a bad fighter or I’m a perfect one. He’s going to get a few hits in every once in a while!” 

“He knocked you to the floor, Fili,” she stated. 

“Cause I was distracted by Sigrid!” 

“Exactly my point!” Dammit. He walked right into that one. “I do not mind that you are here to brush up on your skill, quite the contrary. I welcome you to come and visit me more often and train, but not at the expense of your abilities or hers.” 

“So what do you expect me to do?” he challenged. 

“I expect you to let me do my job and train Sigrid. I have allowed you to come thus far and train on your own, but you need to learn how to let go of her a bit more.” 

“Let go of her?” The very statement offended him. “What kind of bullshit advice is that?” 

“If you had been in a real fight today with Radagast you would be dead right now simply because you heard her fall down. You are too distracted by every action that she takes and are suffering as a result. She will remain coddled and sheltered by you unless you back off and let her grow on her own.” 

“She’s not ready yet.” 

“And when do you think she will be? Will you even let her get there? Something is making you hold her back, Fili. What is it?” Fili looked away from his grandmother down to the ground. He knew he was holding onto Sigrid too tight, but what else was he supposed to do? Yes, Sigrid was incredibly brave, but she hasn’t seen anything yet. What if she couldn’t handle the danger? What’s going to be the thing that horrifies her so much that she breaks? He took a deep breath and sighed as he clenched his fist. 

“I’m terrified,” he admitted. 

“Of what?” Ivon questioned, her voice softer now that she was getting somewhere with him. 

“Losing her.” 

“That won’t happen if you just let me help her. I will make sure that no one will touch her.” 

“That’s not what I mean!” he snapped, but quickly raised his hand in apology. “She was so frightened last week. She was shaking, and crying, I don't know what to do when she cries and... I was afraid I would break her if I held her too tight. She was so relieved and happy to see me, but what happens when that’s not enough? When I’m not enough? What if one day she sees something so scary that she just can’t take it anymore and leaves? What if she wakes up one day and realizes that I’m not worth the risk? That whatever feelings she has for me don’t compare to the fear she feels every day? I have to protect her. If I can keep her from danger long enough, just until this war is over, then I might not lose her.” The room was silent. The two Durins stood alone as the words sank into the walls around them. 

“Fili, Dearie,” Ivon soothed as she put a hand on her grandson’s shoulder. “That won’t happen.” 

“You didn’t see her.” 

“No, you didn’t see her.” He looked up at her confused. “Fili, she came back.” 

“That doesn’t mean that—” 

“Let me finish,” she cut him off. “Yes, she had been shaken by the experience, yes she had been terrified, but the moment she walked back into my home, she was more driven than ever to never let that happen again. She blamed herself for getting caught.” 

“But it wasn’t her fault!” 

“And now she’s going to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Fili, can’t you see it?” He looked back at her dumbfounded, but desperate. See what? What could she see that he couldn’t? “That fear she has, it’s becoming a fire in her, pushing her forward so she can stand by your side, not behind you.” 

Fili opened his mouth to argue, but the words didn’t come out and he felt defeated. It was as if everything he did was wrong. If he leaves her alone, she could get hurt. If he protects her, she’ll become weaker, apparently. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. 

“It’s a balance, Dearie, and not one that’s easy to maintain.” Ivon grabbed Fili’s bag of clothes and handed it to him. “You may continue to train with us for now. Perhaps it will do you some good to actually witness her improving and maybe even desensitize yourself to her voice a bit. Who knows? Perhaps if she improves enough you can actually complete routines together.” 

“What if it gets too hard for her though? What if one day she doesn’t come back?” 

“She will,” Ivon assured him. “She came back before, and she will continue to come back. That girl is not about to let a few men with chips on their shoulders stop her, especially if they’re standing in between her being with you.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“I can see it in her eyes. Those eyes of hers are the same ones I had when I first started to fall for Aule.” Ivon took a moment to close her eyes and look back upon her memories of her late husband. “Trust me, Dearie, those eyes belong to someone who will follow you no matter what.” 

~ 

Fili leaned up against the wall of the elevator and sighed. His grandmother’s words rolling around in his mind like marbles as he tried to decipher his feelings. Somehow he’d have to find a way to keep Sigrid close without smothering her, but he wasn’t quite sure how to yet. He felt like Kili, once again, had it easy. He didn’t have to worry 24/7 if his girlfriend was in danger because to at least some degree, she could protect herself. Sigrid was… no. He shouldn’t think like that. Ivon was right. If he kept thinking that she couldn’t take care of herself, he was going to start treating her that way and then she would start acting that way and he didn’t want that for her. 

She was trying. Every day she was working, finishing school, and showing up for training with Ivon just so that she could stay afloat so that she could stay with him and was giving it her all with no sign of holding back. Fili had doubted her, and what a fool he was for doing such a thing. As the elevator doors chimed and opened, he promised himself he would not do that again. 

He realized she would probably ask him what Ivon had wanted, and didn’t want to tell her about those doubts, so he began to construct some sort of story in his mind as he rounded the corner. 

“Give it to me.” 

“W-Wait, what?” 

“I said give it!” 

“Stop! What are you doing! Get off!” Fili was greeted by the sounds of two women fighting not too far away from him as he entered the lobby of the lavish apartment complex. A young, black-haired woman was reaching for the neck of the other girl. 

“Sig!” he called out as he rushed over, dropping his bag in the process. He pulled her back, putting himself between her and the other woman as he looked for some form of injury. “Are you alright? What’s going on?” 

“I-I don’t know!” she stammered, her hand tightly grasping her necklace to the point that her knuckles were beginning to grow white while her other hand gripped the sleeve of Fili’s shirt. “S-She just asked to see my necklace and then tried to rip it off me!” 

“You shouldn’t have it! What is the meaning of this Fili?” He quickly turned to look at the woman who dared to attack Sigrid and felt as though he had been hit by Radagast square in the chest once again. 

“Alila!” he nearly shouted. “What are you doing?” Before him stood a woman of small stature, smaller than both he and Sigrid, with long, black hair that fell over her shoulder in a braid. Her hands were clenched in fist by her sides and a scowl marred her olive face as she now directed her anger to the blonde heir. 

“I asked you first, Fili! Why does she have that necklace?” 

“It’s just a necklace!” 

“Of mithril!” she hissed. It was true. Although the stone Sigrid wore was valuable enough, the bright chain around her neck was made of mithril, the most priceless metal known, and exclusively owned by Durins. No common man knew of its existence, yet here Sigrid was with it out in the open. It wasn’t a crime for her to have it, but to any Durin, Blood or otherwise, her possession of it was un-ignorable. “Answer me!” 

“It’s none of your business!” 

“None of my—” she leaned away with her hand on her chest, offended at his response. “She’s an outsider! You give her precious Duirn craftsmanship and claim that it is none of my business?” 

“What does it matter to you?” Fili demanded, now getting in the woman’s face. 

“What does it matter to me? Why doesn’t it matter to you? I am protecting our families! How dare you do this to us!” 

“I haven’t done anything wrong!” Fili kept Sigrid behind him as he continued to shout. She didn’t need protecting, but this was between him and Alila, and he didn’t want her involved any more than she already was. 

“You dare to stand before me and speak as if you haven’t betrayed us all by letting this dainty little doe walk amongst us?” 

Fili felt his body twitch slightly. First she attacks Sigrid, now she insults her? “I don’t have to explain myself to you, Alila!” 

“She will bring ruin upon us all!” 

He twitched again at her words. He needed to find a way to end this quickly before it got out of hand. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! You are out of line!” 

“I’m not blind Fili! I can see what’s going on! You’ve given this clanless child mithril, have shared our name and secrets with her, and soon enough she will reveal them to the world! Azog will strike us down once he gets to her! She is weak; I dare say she couldn’t even craft a spoon! This is your doing and the clan leaders will hear of it, mark my words!” 

“You forget your place,” Fili growled. 

“And you forget yours! Go cut your hair rukhsul menu! Ushankh!” 

Her words echoed in his mind and the world around him went red. His vision narrowed onto the woman before him and he didn’t twitch anymore. The anger that was boiling in his fist before shrank into him and collected in his core. 

“You done?” he spat. A flicker of concern crossed her face, yet her brow remained furrowed. He’d make that disappear. “It is none of your fucking business why she has that necklace but since you are so interested, allow me to educate you. 

“Azog has been aware of her for years now so she is not ignorant to his threat. In fact, she and her father are being specifically targeted by him right now and have been given assistance by Thorin himself. As heir, I have decided to exercise my right to intervene and have offered her protection as well, hence the necklace. Now for some reason, despite that necklace and its meaning, which you should be fully aware of, you have elected to ignore it and instead decided to attack someone under Blood protection! You are aware of this are you not?” Fili voice continued to grow as his fury began to seep into his words. He watched as Alilia slowly began to realize what she had done. Her expression morphed from conviction to concern. 

“That doesn’t make her any less of a weakness!” she defended. “I was doing my duty and protecting our families!” 

“No, you were being selfish and attacked her without thought! If you had any concerns about how she was involved, you would have gone to your father, or directly to me! Instead, now you yourself have committed multiple crimes against the Durin family!” 

“Me? What have I done?” she shouted. 

“In addition to attacking an outsider unprovoked, you have spoken down to and insulted a Blood, spoken our words to an outsider—” 

“S-She, she doesn’t know about Khz—?” 

He cut her off before she could finish the word and do more damage. “Falsely accused a Blood of betrayal and commanded him to be shamed in public!” 

“I, I did not know…” she stammered, bowing her head slightly. “Please, Fili, forgive my transgressions.” 

“You commit offenses as serious as accusations of betrayal and you expect me to just forgive you? To pretend as if they didn’t happen? Now how is that fair?” If Fili’s wasn’t so furious at the moment, he would have almost found it in him to laugh at her. “No, you may be Azaghâl’s daughter, but you are far from excused from punishment.” He relished the feeling of her eyes snapping up to his as they filled with horror. 

“You… you can’t be serious?” 

“I swear on my Blood,” he growled. “I know my place. I am heir, and I can discipline you as I see fit. Perhaps I should have you suspend from your craft?” 

“You would deny me access to my branch of the company?” 

“Indefinitely.” 

“You can’t do that!” she refuted fearfully. 

“Or maybe I should relieve you of a few inches of your hair?” 

“No!” 

“Hell, after everything you’ve done I should have your head shaved!” 

“Please no!” she cried, tears stinging her eyes, but Fili didn’t let up. 

“And don’t think your father won’t hear about this! Perhaps I should include the rest of your family in this? After all your offenses are severe enough to attach to your family name!” 

“Fi, no! They have nothing to do with this!” She was begging now, pleading for him listen to reason. He could see her fear, her despair, but it wasn’t enough. She would pay for her slander. 

“I may not be able to strip away your title, but everyone will know about what you did today!” 

He felt a small hand catch his arm, thin fingers clinging to him and dragging him back to reality. The red around him disappeared, he could see Alila on the verge of tears before him, and a crowd of people had begun to gather at the spectacle; some of them Durin, others not. Fili didn’t need to look to know that Sigrid had reached out to him, cut through his rage and clear his vision so he could see that enough was enough. His anger didn’t disappear, he was too far gone for that and he still couldn’t forgive Alila, but he was in control and could once again be rational. 

“Leave,” he commanded through gritted teeth. “I will speak to my uncle and your father about how to deal with your... misbehavior.” The young woman nodded without a word, unwilling to risk encoring his wrath again. 

“Alila!” a voice sang out from behind Fili. He glanced behind him to find Ivon giving a gentle wave in their direction with a cheerful smile. “A word if you don’t mind.” Alila gulped but did as she was told and headed for the elder Durin. Fili wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw her glance at Sigrid, though he couldn’t tell if it was a look of resentment or apology. 

“Fi?” Sigrid whispered. He could feel his anger still fizzling around him and the eyes of the spectators did him no favors. Another tap on his shoulder revealed Ivon offering the bag he had dropped earlier to him. Her expression was flat, unreadable; he had no idea how much she had seen, what she thought of his actions, and it frustrated him even more. Wordlessly, he snatched his bag from her and began to storm off, careful not to shake Sigrid’s grip so she would follow. He didn’t dare touch her for fear that his anger might go loose again and he might hurt her in his grip. She quickly scurried behind him without issue though, quietly following him out of the crowded lobby as they hurried to his car. He unlocked it for her and she let go of him, quickly running to get into her seat so she could be by his side again. He slammed the door shut, gripped the wheel till his knuckles turned white, but didn’t start the car. Instead, he sat there fuming, hot air hissing from him as he tried to calm down. 

“Fi, what just happened?” she spoke quietly. He didn’t answer. He didn’t know where to begin. How was he supposed to explain that? “Who was that?” He let out a frustrated sigh. It seems they were going to start there. 

“My ex,” he confessed as he pinched his brow. He didn’t want to see Sigrid’s expression so he just kept his eyes shut and listened. 

“Your… ex?” she gasped. “So she’s a…” 

“A Durin, yes. Alila Firebeard.” 

“How long were you um…” she trailed off, realizing what she was asking and started to fidget with her clothing uncomfortably. 

“We were together for eight months, I ended it over a year ago. ” 

“She seemed so angry at you.” 

“Gee, What gave that away?” 

“You were too.” He didn’t answer. “What did she say to you to set you off like that?” 

Fili gipped the wheel again and thought for a moment. He couldn’t tell her about their language, he could get away with a lot of things thanks to Ivon but not that. He could just give her the translation though. She had first called him a son of an Orc. A common enough insult, but he didn’t want to explain to Sigrid the lore of the monsters of his people. What Alila had called him after that though was what had made him snap. Even thinking of it now fed the fire in him, but he took a breath to cool it. 

“She called me a traitor.” Loyalty was something that Durins valued above nearly everything else. It was their honor, it was their bond, and Alila had called that into question. 

Sigrid echoed him. “A traitor? But you haven’t done anything, have you?” 

“No, and the clan leaders would agree, but the mere accusation of it is not only an insult, but a serious offense.” 

“So then why would she… oh gods.” The sound of her gasp made Fili look up to find horror splashed across her face. “It’s because of me.” 

“What?” What was she talking about? Was she… was she taking the blame for what happened to her? 

“She attacked me because of the necklace. She could tell it was from you and… oh gods this is my fault.” 

“No. Sigrid that’s not true,” Fili attempted to assure her. The feelings of anger inside of him shifted, his only focus now on Sigrid who now had tears in her eyes. 

“You got in trouble because you’re with me! I’ve ruined things haven’t I?” her voice became louder and more distressed as she continued. 

“Of course not! You haven’t done anything wrong!” 

“If you hadn’t bothered with me, if I wasn’t so weak, you wouldn’t have had to give this to me!” 

“Sigrid listen to me, please,” he hushed. Fili reached out and touched her face, his thumb whipping away a stray tear from her cheek. 

“I gave you that necklace as a gift, not because I thought you needed protection, but because I like you.” He paused for a moment as he watched her face flush at his words. He hadn’t actually said those words out loud to her yet, had he? She deserved to hear them now more than ever. “I like you a lot Sigrid. The fact that the necklace is also a beacon is just a side effect. If Alila had just seen the fact that it was a charm for protection, she wouldn’t have confronted you. She would have gone to me, or Thorin to discuss it, but all she saw was the gift that I had given my girlfriend.” 

“So…” she sniffled, “so she came after me because…” 

“Because she was jealous. Someone of her status not being good enough for me but for some reason an outsider was?” 

“What do you mean her stat—” she cut herself off. “Is… is she a princess?” Fili thought for a moment. Just like him, Alila was the heir to a Durin clan, a less powerful one, but she was still the daughter of a clan leader. 

“More or less,” he admitted. 

“Oh Gods!” she panicked again. “I really screwed up! Not only are you in trouble, but you’re in trouble with a princess!” 

“No!” he promised her. “I’m not in trouble with anyone and neither are you. No one is but her because she’s the one who attacked you, and in public no less. She saw the necklace and thought that I had told you secrets about my family that you’re not allowed to know and was trying to protect me and our families.” The truth was that he was starting to blame himself for what had happened. While giving her that necklace did provide her with a great deal of protection, it also invited prejudice towards her. Outsiders were rarely welcomed, a bias that was a product of their families traditional ways, and while Alila should have known better and come to him first about things rather than being so public, she was justified in questioning him. 

“So I didn’t do anything wrong?” she muttered. 

“Absolutely nothing.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“She was out of line, not you. I’m so sorry she attacked you like that.” 

“So then, what’s happens now?” 

“I don’t know what Ivon is going to do with her, but I’m going straight to Thorin to tell him what she’s done. She will be punished.” 

“How do you even punish people in your family? It’s not like you can send them to jail right?” 

“If the crime fits we do. Thranduil isn’t the only law enforcement in the city, there are Durins in the system, but in this case, it’s more of a clan issue. Don’t worry though, her sentencing will be harsh, I promise you that. She had no right—” she must have been able to tell that he was getting angry again before he did because she quickly grabbed his hand to soothe him. 

“I mean, you said something to her about cutting her hair. That doesn’t seem so bad.” 

“On the contrary, it’s a serious punishment to inflict on someone and a huge sign of dishonor.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s complicated,” he sighed. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to mettle in your family affairs.” 

“No, it’s not that. Well it is, but,” Fili let out an exhausted sigh. There was so much to it that he didn’t have time to fully explain it to Sigrid, not that he would be allowed to anyways. Since the beginning of their recorded history, the significance of braiding and maintaining hair had been passed down to all Durins. Its traditions were used in weddings, funerals, coronations, not to mention the various meanings of beads and dyes in hair. There was so much to it that not even he understood all of the meanings yet. 

“Look,” he began again. “I can’t tell you much, but I don’t think Ivon or Thorin would kill me for explaining this to you. To Durins, our hair holds a lot of meaning. Kind of like with our jewelry and other crafts, it’s how we craft and alter ourselves. Tattoos work as well like Ki and I have, but your hair is something everyone can see right away. Personal grooming and styling are considered normal, sometimes even symbolic.” Fili thought of how Thorin used to have much longer hair, not too long that he would stand out to outsiders, but enough so that he could still participate in Durin rituals. He hasn’t grown out his hair since Azog entered their lives and he would keep it short until he was gone. “You can get your own hair cut all you like, but if your hair was cut because of some crime you had committed, everyone would be able to see the great shame you brought to yourself.” 

“So when she told you to go cut your hair…” 

“She was telling me to publicly shame myself because she thought I was a traitor.” 

“Is that what you’re going to have happen to her?” 

“If I have any say in it she’ll be bald.” 

Sigrid looked back at him in shock. “Isn’t that a bit excessive?” 

“For just calling me a traitor, yes, but she also attacked you and brought forth Durin secrets in public.” Sure the people around them probably wouldn’t think much of the fight, it wasn’t very long and not too much was brought up, but it was still against their laws. 

“I understand that, but she’s your ex. Aren’t you taking this a bit personally?” 

“Why are you defending her?” Fili found his frustration bubbling up again. He was trying to get justice for Sigrid and she thanks him by trying to protect her attacker? In a system she knows nothing about? “She could have seriously hurt you if I hadn’t stepped in. She deserves to be shamed!” 

She looked into his eyes and frowned. “I’m not saying that she doesn’t, but just listen to yourself, Fili. You sound angrier at her than at what she did. I’m not saying that what she did wasn’t wrong, but if what she said was true, she really was acting out of the best interest for your family. If she had attacked anyone else but me, would she still be getting such a harsh punishment from you?” 

Fili looked away from her because he knew the answer was no, unless that other person was Kili that is. “But it was you, Sigrid, and I’m not going to let her get away with it!” 

“And she’s not. You can still do… whatever it is your family does, I mean I don’t know how Durin politics work exactly, but I just want you to be fair about it. You can’t just make someone’s punishment harsher because you don’t like them or because I’m involved. I’m not even a part of your family! I don’t know, I’m just rambling at this point I feel like. I just, I don’t want you to go overboard.” 

Fili stared out the window of his car and sighed. Was he going overboard with this? Was his bias and his anger getting the better of him? If he was going to become Head of the Family one day, he’d have to learn how to control himself and letting all of his anger out on Alila, whether she deserved it or not, wasn’t the best way to do that. 

As frustrated as Fili still was, he was much calmer now. Sigrid seemed to have that kind of aura about her that made him feel like he didn’t have to be angry. The same thing had happened the week before. After Sigrid had gotten free from that asshole holding a knife to her neck, he made sure she wasn’t hurt and then went to that man to destroy him for touching her. He was ready to make that piece of shit suffer, but the moment Kili reminded him that Sigrid was still there, that she was still scared and needed him, all of that anger went away. 

He may still just be an heir, but he has a responsibility to treat his people fairly regardless of their transgressions. 

“Okay,” he finally said. “I don’t know what will happen to her, but I promise that I will do my best to be… fair with Alila’s punishment.” The words tasted like vinegar in his mouth, but seeing the smile on Sigrid’s face made the bitter taste disappear. 

“Good. I don’t want people thinking you’re a grouch to be feared.” 

“Ha! Well, thank you for watching out for my reputation.” 

“Also, I’m sorry about all the Thor comments and stupid remarks I’ve made about your hair. I didn’t know how important it was to you.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Outsider remarks about our appearance don’t really faze us cause they just don’t know.” 

“But I know now so I want to respect that. I won’t mention it anymore.” 

“It’s really not a big deal. Just don’t tell me to cut it and you’re in the clear.” 

“If you say so,” she smiled. 

“I do. Alright, enough of this. I’ll drive you home.” 

“Fili.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Thank you, for everything.” He smiled back at her and took her hand, kissing her knuckles. 

“Anything for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again so much, everyone, for your wonderful comments! I know I'm a bit slow at this but it's coming together! I hope you continue to enjoy!


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